Allison madison partner

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Detroit Lions Offseason Review

2020.08.17 03:49 atlantis737 Detroit Lions Offseason Review

My first time doing this - thanks for reading!
Lions logo link just so that the thumbnail to this post isn't Logan Stenberg's website
I'll start first with the draft picks.
Entered the draft with 3, 35, 67, 85, 109, 149, 166, 182, 235
Draft Day Trades
Trade Partner Given Away Received
Indianapolis 85, 149, 182 75, 197
Las Vegas 109 121, 172
1st Round
With the 3rd Overall Pick in the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions Select Jeff Okudah, Cornerback, Ohio State University.
Okudah here is the obvious choice. He is not quite a Jalen Ramsey caliber prospect, but close, and hopefully he will fill the gaping hole left by Darius Slay’s regression and departure. Okudah is a technician, he has incredible work ethic, an Energizer Bunny-like drive to get better, and reportedly has a thirst for learning that included him showing up at his defensive coordinator’s house on an off day to watch film. The best way I have seen it put – he is a disciple of his position, completely devoted to becoming better. Not all disciples become masters, but all masters were once disciples. I think Okudah was the obvious choice here, and I’m just glad we didn’t take Derrick Brown this high. Grade: A+
2nd Round
With the 35th Overall Pick in the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select D’Andre Swift, Running Back, University of Georgia.
This came as no surprise to me. I was watching the draft via Pat McAfee’s stream, and when he erroneously reported the Dolphins selected Swift with their final 1st Rounder, I was heartbroken. Swift fills the biggest offensive need for the Lions – a stud running back capable of handling bellcow snap counts. I’m not sold on Kerryon Johnson. I’ve not given up on him either. He has spurts of brilliance, followed by mediocrity, and capped off by injury. He has missed 14 of 32 games. At worst, Kerryon was overdrafted by a wide margin. At best, the lighter workload will allow him to stay healthy and thrive in a run-first offense. Swift can be an immediate contributor on offense, he can help keep Kerryon healthy, and if Kerryon goes down – Swift can handle being RB1 without issue. The only thing I would rather have seen in this situation is AJ Epenesa, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen with the Patriots’ scheme. Grade: A-
3rd Round
With the 67th Overall Pick of the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select Julian Okwara, Defensive End, University of Notre Dame.
I’m in love with this pick. Okwara was considered a first round talent after his 2018 season. He fell to the third because of an injury, and if he can get healed up properly then the Lions got an absolute steal here. It is also cool to see because Julian’s brother Romeo is currently a Lion. I was surprised to see the coverage-creates-sacks New Engla- I mean, Detroit front office spend a third on a pass rusher, but I’m choosing to not question a good thing. The risk of “he’s not been the same since the injury” is absolutely worth the possible reward of a dominant DE here. Grade: A+
With the 75th Overall Pick of the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select Jonah Jackson, Offensive Guard, Ohio State University.
I like, but don’t love, this pick. I’m not sure Jackson is ready to start, but the Lions moved up to get him. Still, it’s the third round. I think he can develop into a starter, he lacks as a pass protector, and I think he will be the weak link on the O-Line if he is forced into a starting role as a rookie. I would be higher on this pick if we didn’t spend extra draft capital moving up. Grade: B
4th Round
With the 121st Overall Pick of the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select Logan Stenberg, Offensive Guard, University of Kentucky.
OHHHH YEAHHHHH! THE KOOLAID MAN’S FILTHY BROTHER, MR. NASTY IS IN TOWN, AND HE’S READY TO RRRRRRRUMMMMBLE.
Stenberg is a Kool-Aid machine, for sure. His nickname is Mr. Nasty and you can even buy his Mr. Nasty merch. Logan if you read this I will gladly accept a sponsorship I myself will be buying a custom Lions jersey with his number and make the name on the back “Mr. Nasty.” He is a monster in the run blocking game, he jumps out and flat out assaults defenders like they owe him money. But, as with any 4th rounder, there is a downside to him – he lacks the agile footwork required of an NFL O-Lineman, which will make him a penalty risk unless he can fix that. He is also unproven as a pass protector, since Kentucky just doesn’t really throw the ball much. This is another high-upside guy who has the tools to develop into a great starter, the biggest drawback I see, and the reason I’m down on this pick, is that the front office essentially drafted what I would consider “project” players back-to-back for the exact same position. If the immediate previous pick wasn’t spent on Jonah Jackson, I’d have given this a much higher grade. Grade: C+
5th Round
With the 166th Overall Pick of the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select Quintez Cephus, Wide Receiver, University of Wisconsin-Madison.
The Lions have two receivers on their roster that it’s time to start thinking about replacing – Marvin Jones Jr., who still has another 2-3 years of production left in him, and Danny Amendola, who is ancient by receiver standards. Cephus was used as a “big slot” role at Wisconsin. I’m not a big believer in the big slot guy being a wide receiver, if the game’s matchup dictates that a big man will work better in the slot then I much prefer putting a tight end in that role. That said, Okudah and many other Big 10 DBs said Cephus is the most difficult receiver to cover. His combine and pro day numbers don’t really match up, so I don’t know what to think there. My personal hope is that Cephus can develop into a receiver similar to Jones, though the consensus around Lions fans is that he will continue his slot role to become similar to Anquan Boldin. My fear is that his combine speed will be accurate, and the skills that made him difficult to cover in college won’t translate to the NFL. I can’t confidently judge this pick, but I will say he has all the downside and not nearly as much upside as the last three picks. Depending on his usage and development, his floor is Geronimo Allison and his ceiling is AJ Green. Grade: B
With the 172nd Overall Pick of the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select Jason Huntley, Running Back, New Mexico State University.
I’ve written about how I think Jason Huntley should be the chosen one to develop into a Slot WR. I believe his floor is JD McKissic and his ceiling is Randall Cobb. His build is much more that of a receiver, I honestly don’t think his body will be durable enough to handle full-time RB play in the NFL. If he is developed as a receiver, I am a huge fan of this pick. However, drafting Huntley cost the Lions a shot at Braden Mann. If Huntley is only used to replace Jamal Agnew as a returner and only contributes to the offense from deep on the depth chart, I would so much rather have drafted a generational talent at Punter. Grade: B
I will now take a moment to say I would have gladly given up the 6th and 7th rounders to trade up for Mann. Or skipped the trade-up for Jackson to keep #182. I’m not high enough on either of these next two guys to lose out on Mann.
6th Round
With the 197th Overall Pick in the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select John Penisini, Defensive Tackle, University of Utah.
The Lions were looking to improve their run defense, especially after losing Snacks Harrison. Penisini won’t do much for that, but he will be a half-decent backup nose tackle. He’s a 6th rounder for a reason – he is a backup at best, and has almost no pass rushing ability versus NFL caliber offensive lines. I’m okay with this pick this late in the draft, but I honestly believe he should’ve been a UDFA. Grade: D
7th Round
With the 235th Overall Pick in the 2020 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select Jashon Cornell, Defensive Tackle, Ohio State University.
After being disappointed by the 6th round, I am pleased with this 7th round pick. Jashon Cornell was graded by PFF as just slightly behind Derrick Brown. I’m not entirely sure why he fell to the 7th, but I assume it’s because he is 23 years old and leaves Ohio State as a 5th year senior. Cornell can be a rotational guy right away, and might be able to blossom into a starter on the D line. If not, it’s a 7th round pick. Grade: A+
Even though we got a lot of value in #235, still would’ve traded both Penisini and Cornell for Mann.
Remainder of post continued in comments. Links below
Coaching Changes and game-by-game schedule prediction
Free Agency and pre-draft day trades
Training Camp Battles
Excel Spreadsheet Download of my personal "armchair GM" 53 man roster (NOTE: This is not the roster I think the Lions will actually go with. Just a fun little experiment of how I'd build the team, especially given the new practice squad rules)
submitted by atlantis737 to nfl [link] [comments]


2020.03.24 16:05 Texas1971 Carollaisms

Haven’t updated in awhile, but here’s some “light reading” for everyone while we’re locked in. These just crack me up. Enjoy, stay safe and wash up. 🧼 GETITON

Band Names/Rap Stars

Mitt Romney and the One Percenters (ACS)
ManAyz - Rap star (LL)
D'Bagz - Rap star (LL)
Maxi Pad - An all-girl band that knows how to rock (LL)
Dick Tingle - One of the best blues men in the business (Show?)
Lynette and the Lackeys (ACS)
Straw Hat and the Bowties - Jerry Springer's dixieland band who plays at the Knott's Berry Farm Good Time Theater (ACS)
Gut Fluffer (ACS)
Johnny Beaumont and The Legionnaires - All wear matching powder blue tuxedoes (ACS)
Automatic Vaginismus – Great band name (LL)
Dissuade/D’ Suede - Rappeproducer of Kanye/one of Kim's ex beaus (ACS)
Starchy Deuce - Band that should be produced by D' Suede (ACS)
Narthex - (ACS)
Epileptic Declawed Hamster - That is a helluva punk band right there (ACS)
Loretta Lynch - Country singer who sang "Stand By Your Man" (ACS)
The Areolas - Covered an Eagles song in the ‘90s (ACS)
Fleece and Flannel - One of the best lesbian acoustic duos you will ever see (ACS)
3 Chainz - Rap star (ACS)
Blues Squatter - Adam's dad’s band name (ACS)
Tampon Kayak - One of Seattle's greatest, but least heard of indie bands (ACS)
Jizz Grenade (LL)
Dryer Fire - Hot indie band name (ACS)
Iranian Revolutionary Guard - Prince's backup band (ACS)
Rape Kit - Name of Adam's band from high school (ACS)
Nog Bong - A band Adam was in in high school (ACS)
Bum Blazer – Adam’s band in high school (ACS)
White Trash Kimchi - Another good band name (Bald Bryan) (ACS)
White Noise - Adam's rap name (ADS)
Promethazine - Lil Wayne's sister (ADS)
Light Rail - Great Rap name (ADS)
Danny In The Joint - Good indie band name (ACS)
Anal Cleft - One of the worst reggae singers to leave Jamaica (ACS)
Anal Cleft and the Taints - Great reggae group (ACS)
MEL-ROL - One of The Spice Girls (AOTH)
D'bris - Great Rap name (ACS)
Cisgender - A militant female rapper....for the ladies (ACS)
Krav Maga (1) - Country singing Jew (ACS)
Lynette and Paulette - Sounds like a singing duo from the 60's (RD)
Nuts In The Sink - Name of Ray’s new band (Ray) (AOTH)
SubDude - Pete Holmes' rap name (ACS)
Ray And The Enemas - Blues singer and his backup band (ADS)
Yakov Crutchfield - He has a show in Branson (ADS)
Mac 18 - Adam’s favorite rapper (RD)
Tremble Lean – Adam’s rap name (ACBSL)
Sticker Back – Worst band out of Canada ever (ACS)
Pennywise and Pound Foolish - A band from the ‘90's (RD)
Strawberry Shortcake's Neti Pot - Great band name (Twitter)
Puffy Elon Musk - Worst rapper ever (ACS)
Pantera Club at Laguna Seca (Twitter)
Savage Body Attack - New wave romantic band Ace was in when he was 19 (FBL)
Jumping Jazzy Jews - Jeff Goldblum's jazz band (ACS)
Snore Cherry - Great band name (ACS)
Pat Benatard - Pat Benatar cover band (ACS)
Rancid Nuts - Good band name (ACS)
Gary And The Knotholes - Good band name (AOTH)
Tampon Canoe - Good indie band (ACS)
One Erection - A good boy band (ACS)
Flushin' Dew - A good country duo (ACS)
Armo Jeweler - Great band name (RD)
Radon - (Lynette thinks) there a Whitesnake cover-band (ACS)
The Taste Of Ace - Great band name (ACS)
King Grape and the Raisinettes (GS)
Concord Grape and the Raisinettes (GS)
Gary Taco - Love that band (ACS)
The Silence Breakers (2) - Good punk band (Gina) (ACS)
Daddy’s Got A Dually – Good country song (ACS)
Dip Curtain - Good indie band (ACS)
Crystal Lobbyists - Sounds like a great techno band (ACS)
Narcissistic Monk -Great indie band (GS)
Sporty Prius - Worst of the Spice Girls (ACS)
Laden and Bravado - 70s duo who opened for Seals n Crofts (ACS)
The Bouncers - great band name (ACS)
Hurry up and make sense (1) - a good talking heads album (ACS)
Appropriate Sombrero - Maxapada’s next band name (Bryan) (ACS)
Flirtatious Contrail - great rap name (GS)
Jack Johnson - Guy from The White Stripes aka The Black Stripes (ACS)
Sophistry - A great Carol King album (ADS)

Song Titles

Meatless Mondays - Horrible Bangles song (Show?)
Measles and Commuter Trains - Worst Christmas song ever (ACS)
White Guys Be Ownin' Everything - Adam's next hit (ACS)
Blood On The Grout - John Cougar Mellencamp song (ACS)
No Blood In The Peckeroo - Good John Cougar song (ACS)
Mellen's Gold - A three disc box set of nothing but John Cougar Mellencamp hits (ACS)
Freaks, Retards and Jews - Not a Cher song (ACS)
Pedophile Cops - Good Cheap Trick song (ACS)
Pig Anus Soup - Favorite Rolling Stones album (Bryan) (ACS)
That Dog Don’t Mess With Olga and Natalia Don’t Spit No Mo’ - Sounds like a Mississippi Delta blues song (Bryan) (ACS)
Goggles Are For Pussies - Trace Adkins' number one hit (ACAFBSL)
Whistle While You Masturbate - The lost Disney song aka "Whistle While You Jerk" (ACS)
12 Pack & Dick's Hard - Name of Adam's new album (Gina) (ACS)
Blood and Soil - A good Smithereens song (ACS)
Pina Colada in Amsterdam - Worst Jimmy Buffet song ever (ACS)
Tough Times In The City - Great Nick Gilder song (ACS)
I've Got A Hamster In My Scrotum And He's Looking For His Keys - That's a good country song (ACS)
Gay Hitler -Great Elvis Costello song (ACS)
Tard On The Tool Shed - Good Mellenamp song (AOTH)
Condo in Redondo - Sublime song (ADS)
Animoji - Band that sung "Obsession" (ACS)
People Who Have Lost People - Worst Barbara Streisand song ever (ACS)
Tilted Heart - Great Tammy Wynette song (ADS)
Yoga wood - Great Beatles song (ACS)
Anal cleft - Song from the Sound of Music (ACS)
Morgue Mode - Sounds like a guy from Iceland who is a DJ (ACS)
I’ve got a Saturday and two friends - great country song (Gina) (ACS)
Recipe for Misery (2) - Title of the next Guns N Roses album (ACS)
Circling Back To Baldwin - Good name for a country song (ACS)
Keistered in Winnipeg - (Bald’s) favorite Willie Nelson song (ACS)
Anal ipecac - Good indie band (ACS)
2 Tits and a Pulse - Ace likes that Beck song (Bryan/Adam) (ACS)

Football Players/Athletes/Teams:

Legs Akimbo - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Feral Katz - Nose Tackle (ACS)
L' Brarian Booker - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Oscar Buzz - Linebacker (ACS)
DeVigorous Lover - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Nadir Zenith - Placekicker (ACS)
DeGluten Free - Offensive Lineman (ACS)
Tangy Mango - Fullback (ACS)
N'Farious Plan - (position?) (ACS)
Modular Holmes - (position?) (ACS)
Fortuitous Bounce - Safety (ACS)
Operatin' Thetan - (ACS) Quarterback for the Washington Redskins (ACS)
Minority Banks - HOF OLB who died tragically in a car wreck shortly after his HOF induction, a natural athlete, he played option QB in college along with being a stand out member of the track team, and in high school he was captain of the basketball team. Survived by his twin brother Majority Banks, who also played in the league, and daughter Recuser Banks who many believe was the best athlete in the family (ACS)
Coach Platitude - "Take a knee son...helmet's not a chair" (ACS)
Glendora Bevmo - Mother of DeVigorous Lover and L' Brarian Booker (different fathers, of course) (ACS)
Marshall Law - (Allison) (ACS)
Orlando Ceeworld - (position?) (ACS)
Du Vatine - (position?) (Show?)
Raja Slate - Super fast wide-out out of Marshall via LSU (AOTH)
Moe Greene - Great corner for the Washington Redskins in the 80’s (ACS)
Bronx Defenders - Sounds like a AAA hockey team (RD)
Medical Error - Slipped in the draft due to a video being released just prior (ACS)
Homeo Stasis (position?) (ACS)
Capybara - The greatest name for a major league skipper (ACS)
Ejaxico Johnson (position?) (ACS)
Radiant Barrier vs. Attic Fan - The worst WWE matchup ever to grace the stage (AOTH)
Bamboo Brick - one of the greatest mixed martial artists on the planet (AOTH)
Dexter Methorphan - He did not participate in the combines, but his coaches say he can run a 4.3 (Twitter)
Bob Jacuzzi - Great point guard for the Celtics aka "THE COOZE" (ACS)
Shame Negation - Picked to leave Clemson early and go very early in the draft this year. (ADS)
Entertainment Crackers - Another name for the Washington Generals ACS
Hardibacker - Good name for an inside backer (ACS)
Osmosis - Black dude. Forward for the Knicks who might or might not have been traded (ADS)
Onus Wilson - NFL draftee (ACS)
World Be Mine - Adam’s new basketball name (ACS)
LBJ - Worst Mexican wrestler name ever (ADS)
Cold stone Steve Austin - Can’t wrestle on hot days. Tag team partners with the Klondike twins (GS)
Cicely Tyson - Greatest Italian boxer of all time. (ADS)

Porn Star Names/Terms/Gay Code:

Spoodini - (LL)
Rocky Stucco - (AOTH)
No Can Doo - Backdoor anal queen of China (ACS)
Kristallnacht - Worst porn star name in the business (ACS)
Madison Avenue (I am Rappaport Podcast)
Hero Du Jour (I am Rappaport Podcast)
Kindle Fire (ACS)
Jackson Hole - Gay porn actor (ACS)
Col. Duke Lacrosse - Adam's porn name (LL)
Duke Circumference - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Rich Data - Gay porn actor (Show?)
Tom Foolery - Gay porn actor (Show?)
Honey Dijon - Great porn star name (Show?)
Aids Machete - One of Adam's gay porn names. "Very short stint, I only did 2 weeks with that name, so it was like 41 movies." (ACS)
Bryce Canyon - Great gay porn name (ACS)
The Italian Coastguard - A gay move. "Let me just start with basic anal, then I'll slide into the Italian Coast Guard." (ACS)
Tetanus Gym - Good gay porn name "Who you working with?" "Tetanus Gym." "Oh boy, make sure you're on top" (ACS)
Shared A Back Fence - gay slang (ACS)
Mea Culpa - Adam's porn name (ACS)
Hand Twins - Gay code (ACS)
Backscatter - Porn technology (PM)
Cajun Tree Climber - Gay code (AOTH)
Snow Blower- Gay code (AOTH)
Stump Grinder - Gay code (AOTH)
Tumbler And Coaster - Adam's gay slang replacement for "top and bottom" (PM)
Go For A Bike Ride - Gay code (ACS)
Artie Fartie - Adam's porn name from the 80's (ACS)
Road Island Ray - Ray's porn name (AOTH)
38KKK -A type of porn that comes out of Kentucky (ACS)
Tech Screw - A dirty website for geeks (ACS)
Bearvalanche - Worst gay move ever (ACS)
Wacked Off Pieces Of Cactus - Gay code for gay rough trade (ACS)
Brad Nail - Good gay porn name (ADS)
Lightning Rod - Good gay porn name for Milo Yiannopplous (ADS)
Milk Barn - Another name for Adam's bathroom sink (ACS)
Meat Thievery - That's just good gay code (ACS)
Hairy Shin - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Asian Persuasion - Sounds like a good name for a porn series Asian persuasion 16 (ACS)
Cock Holster - Good movie series, cock holster 14 (ACS)
Celebrity Du Jour - Great porn name (ACS)
Europol - Another great porn name (ACS)
Roy Wood - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Tank slapper - Gay slang (Gina) (ACS)
Porch Pirate - Gay term (ACS)
Mad Chuck - The world's worst name for a gay porn star (AOTH)
Sweat lodge - Gay code (ACS)
The L.A. Underground - Sounds like a gay bar (M&J)
Skin and grin - Gay slang (ACS)
Rear Admiral - The name of one of the best bars on west side (ACS)
Loaded for bear - Now a gay term (GS)
Fruit Of The Year - A porn Dave (Dameshek) starred in (ACS)
The Lebanese Comedian - Ace's favorite sex position (ACS)
Cockout - When a gay guy doesn't try very hard (ACS)
Margana Wood - Porn name (ACS)
Hugh Bris - Porn star (RD)
Matte Clear - Fondalier’s gay porn name (AOTH)
Palatial Estates – A good 80’s fake tittie porn name (AOTH)
Cokie Roberts - Great porn name (ACS)
Armenian Christmas - An unspeakable sexual act in prison. "Johnny ratted out the white supremacists to the warden, so they gave him an Armenian Christmas" (Show?)
Ride The Pine - Gay slang (ADS)
Meet Gaze - Gay slang (ACS)
Asshole Rider - Gay slang (ACS)
Cash Widedick - Ace's porn name if you can call an apple a honey crisp. (ACS)
Shanda Lear - Great stripper name (Gina) (ACS)
Fiery Cherry - Good porn name (ACS)
Jerk the wheel - Code for masturbation (ACS)
Giddyup Titties - Gina’s porn name (Gina) (ACS)
French astronaut - Great gay slang (ACS)
Mr Bandera - gay code (ACS)
Beefmato/Clamato - sounds like names of venerial diseases (ACS)
Spanner - Australian gay code (ACS)
Rocky tenure - Adam’s gay porn name (ACS)
The End Game - One of Stormy Daniels movie titles (RD)
Room for cream - Great porno title (Gina) (ACS)
Pedialyte shower - Worst sexual act ever (Sklar) (ACS)
Foot Zunki - Add-on to the Pedialyte shower (ACS)
Self rimming sink - gay slang (AOTH)
Harvey Mudd - gay bar drink where vermouth and bartender shit is mixed in a goblet (ACS)
Barney’s Beanery - ultimate name for a gay bar (ACS)
Parallel park both ways - euphemism for being bi (GS)
The Big Three - Gerago’s junk (RD)
73 - When a fat guy tries to 69 with a chubby prostitute he met at a ham radio convention(ACS)
Backlog - Stormy Daniels movie title (Bryan)(ACS)
Madison Bear - Sounds like an dating app for gay hairy dudes who are married (ACS)
Back pay - Good porn title name (ACS)

Miscellaneous People

Trajectory Hagar - High school kid "heading down the wrong path" in life (ACS)
Slick Mouth - Adam's prison name (ACS)
Rich Carless - Cool homeless guy name (ACS)
Keyless Chuck - Best homeless guy name (ACS)
Nasal Ranger - Worst superhero name ever (Gina) (ACS)
Krav Maga (2) - Good name for a sheriff (ADS)
Hubcap Annie - Horror that hangs out with Keyless Chuck (ACS)
Becky Honkington (Allison) (ACS)
Monica Chugscock - (Pronounced "Shuggscawk") (ADS)
Tyvek DuPont - Best rich guy’s name (AOTH)
Mattress - A Model/actress (ACS)
Hofmeister Kink - Nazi war criminal who's been in hiding in Brazil for the past 61 years. aka Jake Johnson (ACS)
Serpiginous - The world's wimpiest swordsman. Sir Piginous of Wussville (LL)
Chick Fil a - Great play-by-play guy for the Warriors from the 70’s (Show?)
Peri Menopausal - Best P.I. working the Chicago beat (LL)
Whiskey Dick - The neighborhood pedophile in the clown outfit (ACS)
Surge - Guy that drives for ÜBER (ACS)
Babbling Brook - Great name for a female cattle auctioneer (PM)
Terra Firma - Name of the "woman of color" that heckled Adam at a Ventura live show and was removed by force (The Ranker Podcast)
Octomom - Great Batman villain (Bryan) (ACS)
Larry The Cabinet Guy - Failed Israeli comic…"Don't get 'er done!" (ACS)
Rod Blagojevich - Joe Francis' slimy brother who sells above ground pools out of a primered van (ACS)
Cockchug Man - The gay superhero in The Village People that wears just all leather (ACS)
MEL-ROL- She's one of The Spice Girls (AOTH)
Hand Farts - A new comedian Adam had never heard of (ACS)
Juan Jeremy - The greatest international film star ever (ACS)
Bitchathane Jackson - Good name for a "sista" (ACS)
Tobar - Perfect caveman name (ACS)
Vroman - A fast moving Roman (ACS)
Korn Syrup and Fructose - Women of color who work at the strip club with Jade (stage 4) (ACS)
Fred Meyer - Lucy's neighbor (ACS)
Kimchi - The Asian flutist (ACS)
Pacoima - The mechanic from Taxi (ACS)
Dick Salt - NATO Alliance General (ACS)
Dick Salt (2) - Manger of the Mariners in the early 70’s (Bryan) (ACS)
Caramel And Fudge - Two more African-American prostitutes that lived in the apartment above Adam’s (ACS)
Peaches - The whore that lived upstairs (ACS)
F. Me Bailey - Greatest lawyer of all time (RD)
Agua Caliente - Loves that guy. He does a great John Madden (ACS)
Senior Penis - One the most dangerous drug lords to ever work (ADS)
Shill Du'Jour - Good Bond secretary name (RD)
Brexit Romero - Sounds like an International assassin (ACS)
Lugansk - That gay diver who hit his head and gave the whole Canadian team AIDS (ACS)
Leak O'rama - A Dutch action star, starred in “Sudden Death” (AOTH)
Vaginismus - Great black guy name (ADS)
Normcore - Guy that owns Westwood one (ACS)
LaTolstoy - Great black guy name (ACS)
Shapiro – Artist who is really good at anime. Died in the 60’s but was a real trendsetter (ACS)
Chuck Spears – Good name for a racist. “Hey you workin’ with Chuck Spears over at the Klan?” (ACS)
Norethindrone - DAG’s Sister (CLL)
La Tuskegee - Black airline pilot (ACS)
C-clamps – Nickname for Adam’s step-mom. “Ol’ C-clamps locked me out of the house again.” (ACS)
Harry Nilsson - (Gary thinks) he does the voices on The Simpsons (ADS)
Nutella - Great name for a crazy black woman (ACS)
Sia - The perfect person to break up with. Would be perfect if she was dating Jack (hit the road Jack) (ACS)
The Ball Catcher - What Adam used to call Ray's ass in junior high (ACFBSL)
MOAB - Matt's new nickname (Mother of All Buttholes) (AONTH)
Trip Reeb - Great name for a white guy (ACS)
Merle Horn - One of the greatest best ropers to ever come down the Pecos (ACS)
The Boring Machine - Lynette's name for Adam (ACS)
Avocado Hand - The nickname of Eric Clapton's brother (Chet) who works at a Mexican place and is charge of the guacamole (ACS)
Bagel Hand - Clapton's Jewish cousin (ACS)
Fa-Sheeya (fascia) - A heavy set woman of color that works at the DMV (ACAFBSL)
Ghrelin - New AM/PM mascot (ACS)
Krav Maga (3) - An Israeli Captain from 1946 (ACS)
Cuban Boa - Sounds like a dark skinned trannie (ACS)
Gabardine - She's a very chatty woman of color middle-aged and she'll talk your ear off. (ACS)
Guy Dudebro - Greatest name ever (AOTH)
Otto Warmbier- Simultaneously the greatest and worst beer master brewer name ever (ACS)
Leif Geragos - Greatest rocking attorney ever Viking rocker attorney (ACS)
Ernest J. Bigot - "I'm just asking....I'm just wanna know...." (ACS)
Panzanella - Cobra's full name (ACS)
Sheet Metal Nibbler - Great name for Matt the porcelain punisher (AOTH)
Big Grenadine - Sounds like a large black neighbor (ACS)
Silent gym - Next to Keyless Chuck, best homeless guy name ever (ACS)
Nuchilla - Sounds like a black vampire (Theo Von) (ACS)
D' poleon - Black Napoleon (ACS)
Luke Rockhold - Sounds like a character on The Flintstones (GS)
Sissy squat - She was hot (AOTH)
Beulah - The town horror (RD)
Ronan Farrow - One of the best wheel men in Europe (ACS)
Duke Bagg - Comedian Ian Bagg's brother (ACS)
Root Ball Grinder - A horrible term for a bitchy wife (Ruth Ballgrinder and Harriet Mulcher) (Tim Allen) (ACS)
Paul Funyun - Just a big dude who likes to have fun. Has a pink ox as a sidekick (ACS)
Page/Savage - A great lawyer team (Adam Ray) (ACS)
Ivar the Boneless - Ace’s dad’s nickname in high school. aka Jim the spineless (ACS)
Bash Worthy - Comic strip's character name/title (ACS)
Uncle Tom-bién - Mexican Uncle Tom (ACS)
Alist Poon - An Indian exchange student who has cerebral palsy (ACS)
Indignant Asswipes - Good name for an improv troupe (Gina) (ACS)
Flora in Fauna - two black chicks that work for him (ADS)
Cheap - Name of a he/she that literally went under sexual assignment surgery last month (ACS)
Heroin (1)(Pronounced Ehr-o-win by JCVD) A character in Lord Of The Rings (Bryan) (ACS)
Yersinia pestis - Ace did Celebrity Apprentice with that dude. He won that year (ADS)
Morgue Mode - Sounds like a guy from Iceland who is a DJ (ACS)
Rachel Bias - Great stripper name (ACS)
Buzz Ramjet - Aviation attorney (ACS)
Black Cherry - Stripper name Bryan (ACS)
Saffron - Sassy black woman in Meg Whitman movie (ACS)
Vibranium - a new black kid name from Black Panther (ACS)
Bird Nerd - Marvel superhero (ACS)
Merch Galore - Worst Bond secretary ever. Total sellout. Always wearing her own swag (GS)
Bathroom Goalie - New code for fat chicks sitting next to you on an airplane (ACS)
Skip Loader -Kurt Loder’s older brother (ACS)
F. Me Money - greatest attorney rapper ever (RD)

Morning Zoos/DJ's/Radio Stations

Gum and Condoms - (Show?)
Dusty Labia - Adam's handle when he used to do AM Mornings. (ACS)
Asscrack and Backsack in the morning with Sludge (LL)
Crockpots and Headphones (ACS)
Booger and Floor Wax (ACS)
Almonds and Water (ACS)
Cold Butter And Calves (ADS)
Schluter And The Drain - Schluter has a thick Austrian accent , while "The Drain" has a super low voice (AOTH)
Ace Rockolla - Just Google "Ace Rockolla Lightning round...." (LL)
Fungus and Mold (Show?)
Stupid and Petty (Show?)
Eunice and Edgar - Bubba the Love Sponge's parents (ACS)
Flip Flops and Fanny Packs (ACS)
Hairy Shin - Does a KCRE show in the weekends (ACS)
Deep Bra Grooves - Should be a Sirius XM station Channel 248, C+ and above! (ACS)
Andy and Opie - Great Radio Show (ACS)
QuietRock - Sounds like an easy listening rock station (AOTH)
Quiet Crush - A good easy listening radio station (ACS)
The Tool Box - SiriusXM took tune station aka KTOL (ACS)
Ray's Enema Antics - New podcast on Carolla Digital (Bryan)(ACS)
Doug Gets Blown While He Eats Pudding - Doug Benson's next podcast (ACS)
Cat Packer - Used to do mornings with her brother, Fudge (ACS)
Duke and Shinola - good morning show team (ACS)
Mother Trucker - Adam’s Podcast with caller Miguel (AOTH)

Places

Boobville - (LL)
Pedoph Isle aka Pedophile Island - Island where are all the pedophiles are sent to live. (Also a TV show/movie idea) (LL)
Lil' Lord Fauntleroy’s Academy for Albino Hemophiliacs - Drew's childhood school (LL)
Doesntexistizcan - Where presidential candidate Platitude's grandfather was from (ACS)
Boga Raton - The world's worst resort spot (Show?)
Meat Yard - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
Mister Fister's - Adam's all-time top name for a gay bar (ACS)
Sub-Par - Worst name for a submarine sandwich shop (Show?)
Queen Mary - Great name for a tranny bar (ACS)
NuvaRing - A German racetrack. "The new Nissan GTR turned it in 7:21, faster than the Corvette." (Show?)
Louis Pasteur Middle School (ACS)
Helm’s Deep - World's first gay bar bakery (ACS)
Kal Penn - One of the best sounding names to get an engineering degree from (ACS)
Alaska State Motto - Love fishing but I hate your kids? Alaska! (PM)
Duke University - John Wayne's college (ACS)
Planned Possumhood - Planned Parenthood in Arkansas (ACS)
Fruit Stand - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
Poo Poo City - Where Charles Fletcher Loomis' house is located (ACS)
Blood Bank - Great name for a check cashing place in the hood (ACS)
Bass Manor - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
The Dead C - Sounds like the worst name for a lesbian bar ever (ACS)
Wood Bar - Good name for a gay bar (ACS)
Ghost Load - Ride at Calico Ghost Town (ADS)
Nasacort - Country club for Jewish folks where they play tennis at (ADS)
L.A. HOTT (1) - An 80's bar with an outdoor door seating area (ACS)
Fairy Wings - Good name for a bar on the west side (ACS)
Second Hand/First World - Store that sells rich whitey’s high end stuff (ACS)
The Lance Hunter - Perfect name for a gay bar (Dumb People Town)
Pervert Park - Theo Vaughn grew up there (ACS)
Big Sur - Great name for a big and tall shop (Show?)
Studio Centric - Sounds like a Utopia. Between Valley Village and Sherman Oaks (AOTH)
Asstard - Thor came from that planet (ACS)
Grand Entrance - Great name for a gay bar (AOTH)
Thermopolis - Where the Bun Boy is (ACS)
The Turkish Embassy - Gay bar (ACS)
Low Tide - Gay code for boner in the rear view mirror (ACS)
Corumption - On the way to Vegas, where Heidi Fleiss lives with her macaws (ACS)
C.C. Fichens - Sounds like a pretzel stand (Gina) (ACS)
Timpani Barn - where to get timpani to go, has three big Mexicans in the kitchen (ACS)
Heroin (2)(Pronounced Ehr-o-win by JCVD) The health food store in Venice (ACS)
Pocket Passers - Next to Mister Fister’s (Gina) (ACS)
The Mexican Faire - Worst fair ever (ACS)
Hanoi Hospice - Only place worse than the Hanoi Hilton (ACS)
Kaleblazer- Gay juice bar (ACS)
Hot Dog Cannon - good name for a bar next to The Abbey (ACS)
Dyskeratosis - where Vinnie lives, lots of Greek folks, a family oriented community (ACS)
Kind of, Italy - Where Ace’s family is from. Where he gets his kinky hair. (ADS)

Miscellaneous

Cleaning The Pink Turtle - Bryan's name for pleasuring oneself (ACS)
Analingus - A new type of breath mint (LL)
The Milk Of Arthritic Goats - A rabbi's curse: "May you suckle at the teet of the milk of arthritic goat!!!" (ACS)
Carbon Dating - A black dating website (ACS)
RU486 - Vanity plate for a guy who runs an abortion clinic (ADS)
Jet Green - Amsterdam's Airlines (ACS)
Stromer, Oldhafer and Carolla - World's worst law firm (AOTH)
Ira Carolla - Sounds like an affliction "Oh my Ira Carolla's acting up" (ACS)
Sawjay - Sounds French...gay word for sausage. "I was strokin' this dude’s sawjay" (ACS)
Smokeless Cigarette - Name for Dr. Drew's honker after his prostate surgery (ADS)
El Niño - Name of "Sinn" strip club DJ's cock (ACS)
Blue Man - Crazy hairdresser's macaw who doesn't judge (PM)
Lucia - An Italian moped (ACS)
American Jewish World Service - A van that's begging to be shot at (ACS)
E-aye? - Canadian version of EBay (ACS)
Sweatpants Lesbian - What Adam would be. An in-between lesbian. Not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke (ACS)
SuckStrong - Bill Clinton's bracelet (ACS)
Gaybus - Gay and bogus (ACS)
Flappy Bird - The most offensive name for the vagina (ACS)
G8 (Summit) - The Pontiac that Oprah gave away on her show (ACS)
Oracle A The Delphi - Big new startup company (ADS)
Crewkakke - A type of sweater (ACS)
The Flying Dutchman - Great name for an Amsterdam airlines (ACS)
Cleaning My Chain - Euphemism for beating off (ACS)
Awesome Town - A gathering of three or more polar bears (ACS)
Avocado - The Greek word for nut sack (ACS)
Doucherette - A gum/patch that douchebags chew/use (ACS)
Urban Milling -Black guys standing around (AOTH)
Synesthesia - When you eat your own hair (ACS)
Tuck Rule - When a guy pretends he's a chick and stands in front of the mirror (ACS)
My #2 Pencil Is Out Of Lead - Another term for erectile dysfunction (ACS)
Float A Bond - When a politician farts (RD)
Vaginismus - black people's holiday, accompanied with a lot of ceremonial garb (ADS)
Vaseline and Gauze - Elizabeth Taylor's new scent (ACS)
Jewber - A drunk on a 10-speed (ACS)
Chickpea - What Gina does when we camp (ACS)
Oscar Squad (2) - Bad gay code (ACS)
Airbus - Worst name for an aircraft. Sounds like “air donkey” (AOTH)
Shailene Woodley - Sounds like the most fantastical verb/adverb combo. “I want to Shailene Woodley through a field of poppies with you” (Gina) (Twitter)
Asshole Rider (2) - Worst piece of exercise equipment Vinnie’s ever endorsed (ACS)
Diario La Prensa - Stealer of the jersey in Spanish (ACS)
The Sicilian Fly Swatter - Sounds like a WWF move (Gina) (ACS)
Jellyfish - Sounds like something your grandpa would buy for you at the mall (ACS)
Fruit Fly - More politically correct term for fag hag (Show?)
Jewgling - When a Jew "Googles" their symptoms (ACS)
Tavares - David Wild's boner medicine (ACS)
Jew -Over - A mulligan from a barmitzva. "Uh, I misread that...can I get a Jew-over?" (ACS)
Ossified - That's a Don King word, there (ACS)
Zero for Cecil - Worst charity ever (Bald Bryan) (ACS)
A++ - A bra that Gina will never see (ACS)
Joycelyn - A good name for Curly from the Three Stooges to say (ACS)
Phallisee - Latin for "to see the penis" (ADS)
Coffee Nap - Euphemism for pooping in your pants (ACS)
USS Monitor - Doesn't sound like a ship of war, sounds like a night nurse (ACS)
Dotard - A skirt a man wears (ACS)
Wilding- Something derogatory that takes place in public pools in certain counties (ACS)
Caveat - Latin for shitting on Adam's point (ADS)
Festiva - Sounds like a boner medicine (ACS)
Depeche Mode - French for “who dealt it?” (ADS)
Beefy Clutch – The purse Gina thought Lady Gaga took to the Emmy’s (ACS)
Sig Sauer - Something you would yell at Oktoberfest before downing a stiff stein of stout (ACS)
Jeans day – Sounds like the special day for your special need son Gene, to raise money (ACS)
Wilding - What takes place in public pools in certain counties (GS)
4F - Can’t/won’t be eligible for the draft (ACS)
Groupie - a kind of fish (ACS)
The African chick - Horrible name for a boat (ACS)
Inclusion rider - Snowboard for retarded kids (ACS)
The Urethra - Bad name for a car (ACS)
Mercury retrograde - when you take your index finger and shove it under your sack before you blow, and you belch it up later (ACS)
UEFA - Transsexuals playing soccer with a balled up maxi pad (GS)
Missed Connections- The worst airline ever (ACS)
Carollo - Sounds like a Tool you’d use rarely (ACS)
Brembo - that Mexican food company that makes that bread (Matt) (ACS)
Preemptive gay strike - Worst video game ever (ADS)
Futon - Chinese for bear trap (ACS)
Sexual Battery - Batteries especially made for sexual devices. Somewhere between AA and C (ACS)

Food/Drinks

Deer Bits - A venison cereal. Made of frosted deer flakes (Show?)
Coco Chanel - Nestlé’s newest coffee flavor (ACS)
Honey Dicks - Best cereal name ever (ACS)
Dawson's Beard - A pudding flavor Ace saw at Whole Foods (ACS)
Mighty Mutts - Worst breakfast cereal ever (ADS)
Chillax - A cinnamon based drink from "Hector's" country (ACS)
Black Dick - An English desert (ACS)
Tardy Digression - Sounds like a finger food..."would you like another tardy digression?" "No, I'm saving room for the main meal" (IFYWABC)
Double Bird Strike - Mixed drink created by Ace and Teresa. Made with Grey Goose, Wild Turkey, a splash of Canadian Club, and a splash of Hudson River water (ACS)
GAYtorade - A sports drink for gay people, because they lose essential body fluids (ACS)
University of Illinois At Urbana Champaign - Sounds like a carbonated drink for black people (ACS)
Flinch Fuck - Part of a nutritious breakfast, and a healthy relationship (ADS)
Phantom Punch - Something Bill Cosby gave his lady friends (ACS)
Pansy Sauce - Goes good with some shrimp (ADS)
Tilted Pillar - Kick ass IPA (AOTH)
Shaver - A good name for a miniature pastrami sandwich (Cousin Sal Show)
GPA - Something they add to children's cereal (ACS)
Stellwell's - A new low fat snack cracker (ACS)
Conchata Ferrell - A great cheese/unwanted cat (ACS)
Poopwell's - One of the worst snacks Nabisco has ever put their name on (ACS)
Belldini – Latest Taco Bell offering (ACS)
Fuzzy Zoeller – Zima with a jigger of peach schnapps (ACS)
Millennial Malaise - A sweet honey dipping sauce (ADS)
Jelani Cobb - Sounds like an Indian dish (Gina) (ACS)
Air Doodle - The very worst Super Bowl snack on the planet (ACS)
Faygala - Jewish sports drink (ACS)
Stroke Cane - Sounds like some sugary treat, mixed with a reach around (ACS)
The Silence Breakers (2) - good name for a mint (ACS)
Lesbian Squirt - Sponsor of the Dinah Shore Classic (ACS)
Son of Goose - Worst vodka ever. Comes in a plastic squeeze bottle (ACS)
Orange Hitler - Worst Hi-C flavor ever (ACS)

TV Shows/Movies

Cunt du' Jour - A great Bond villain name (ACS)
Coffee and Donuts - (Charlie Coffee III and Johnny Donetti) Johnny's a tough street wise cop whose jive talking and plays by his own rules and Charlie's super uptight (LL)
Pedoph Isle (aka) Pedophile Island - All pedophiles are sent to live on an isolated island, and a 747 full of Boy Scouts crash lands there and they have to fight to survive (Also a place) (ACS)
Anus and Eyeball - Buddy cop TV show duo (ACS)
Pussy Pioneer - John Candy's last movie (ACS)
Red Velvet - Made up movie character Clown played by Paul Giamatti. "Was secret service, and someone died on his watch. Now he's takin to clownin'." Wears a red velvet clown outfit. (ACS)
Destination Of The Semen - (Adam Ray) A movie Harrison Ford passed on twice (ACS)
Gay Eye - Movie where Adam plays Buddy McKlan, a racist homophobic mechanic who is blinded in a freak hot transmission fluid accident. He gets the donor eyes from a gay guy who perished on a moped accident in Antigua. Co-starring Larry the Cable Guy as his best friend. (Co-written by Bryan Cranston) (ACS)
Grinders - Sitcom where Jon Gruden moves in with Johnny Manziel (ACS)
Squishy Red River - Movie that started John Wayne (Show?)
Gusset And Cable - Perfect Cop buddy duo team (AOTH)
Just One Of The Gays - Stars Shia LaBeouf (ACS)
Hard Impact - Sounds like a Van Damme movie from the 90's (ACS)
Hammer Pants And Ice - Worst cop detective duo from the 80's (ACS)
Living With The Kilowatts - Adam's new animated series where they just leave toaster ovens on all day (ACS)
Keep Calm And Rape A Lot - Worst Monty Python film ever (ACS)
Medical Mishaps - New show Dave Coulier and Tawny Kitaen could host (ACS)
Roaming With Bison - Another great Bill Murray movie (ACS)
Gainesville Florida Financial Planner - Sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit (ACS)
Blame the Bee Gees - Adam's next documentary (ACS)
Adam Knees Your Dad In The Nuts - Adam's new game show (ACS)
Navigeddon - Terrorists take over all of the GPS systems of cars, and send them careening into the Grand Canyon (ACS)
Rings Of Honor - Terrorists take over Olympic training facility in Colorado Springs, and the athletes have to use their individual skills to escape. (Cameo by Randy Couture as the salty old coach) (ACS)
Endless Time/Ample Time For Backup - Adam's new Netflix series (ACS)
Tarred n' Feathered - Buddy flick starring a retarded guy and an Indian chief (Show?)
Mr. Will Doo And Can Doo - PSA Motivational cartoon bathroom characters Will Doo (Played by Will Arnette) and Can Doo is shaped like a toilet. Filmed in kitschy Clutch Cargo style animation (ADS)
Robot Lawyer - Great Phil Hartman bit (ACS)
Umpire News Network - Adam's channel with umpires reporting. Unbiased reporting (ACS)
Sofa Tard - New CW show coming soon (Matt) (AOTH)
Junior Fantasy Island - Show where kids of reckless parents are shipped off to live with Bill Cosby and Felicia Rashad (ADS)
2 And A Half Denali's - Hasn't been same since Sheen left (ACS)
So Kanye - Sitcom from the 90's (ACS)
Ridicuopothy - Sounds like a Mike Judge movie (ADS)
Master Buck - One of John Candy's most controversial movies (ACS)
LA HOTT (1) - An 80’s bar with an outdoor door seating area (ACS)
Mother Hitler - Coming to TNT. Starring Patrick Swayze's bother, Don (ACS)
Sink and Bounce - Movie about roller boogie from the 80's, starred Lil' Bow Wow (ACS)
The Debs - A made up CW network show where you just put all the hot chicks in Hollywood (ACS)
The Origin Story Of AIDS - Worst Marvel movie ever (Bryan)(ACS)
Everybody Hates Vinnie - Horrible sitcom (ACS)
Chick Clan - Good movie title (ACS)
Condo in Redondo - Best movie I ever did (ADS)
Red Lobsteria - New show Dr. Drew was talking about where African Americans form their own country (ACS)
Earthquake rehab - Reality show Dr. drew seismic expert and a civil engineer come together (Rainn Wilson) (ACS)
Rooster Jones - Great John Wayne movie. Super Fly meets True Grit (ACS)
Ernest Bigot goes to..... (ACS)
Nickels On The Job - First and only Jewish gum shoe on the job. ABC, Friday nights, 10:00 p.m. (ADS)
Solicitor General - Great Danny Kaye movie (RD)
Disjointed - Lorena Bobbitt biopic (ADS)
Habib and Company - Horrible children's show (MS)
Bobby's Room - Howie Mandel animated project from the 90's (ACS)
Page/Savage - Great cop duo show from the ‘80’s (Adam Ray) (ACS)
Paper Asshole - Great Tatum O’Neal film (ACS)
L.A. HOTT (2) - Failed Steven Bochco series pilot (ACS)
Pieces Of String Too Small To Use - Lena Dunham film from the late 90’s (ACS)
Oscar Squad - New Marvel Movie (Gina) (ACS)
Cortron/Melamine - Transformers (Gina) (ACS)
Anoscope - Worst way to see a movie (ADS)
Practical Rapist - New SNL character (Gina) (ACS)
Superfoot - Worst Marvel movie ever (Bryan) (ACS)
Celebrity Food Chain - Would be a great show (Jeff Cesario) (ACS)
Backsack and Anus - Worst cop duo ever (RS)
Korean moyle - ABC’s next sitcom (Jeff) ACS
Nanny Huntin ‘with Ted Nugent - Great reality show I’d watch (ACS)
Progressive pope - New sitcom (Gina) ACS
Nick Mancuso: Construction Fluffer - New TV Show (AONT)
Rush Blitzer - Adam’s character from his movie, “Snapper” (BSR)
The Baldwin’s and Beyond -Great reality show (RD)
The Rogue Deuce - The next Star Wars movie (ADS)
Mr. Goodbar To The Rescue - Ace loves that movie (ACS)
Wrestling Squatters - New show on YouTube Red starring Eric Stromer (AOTH)

Books/Coffee Table Books

Dade County Black Prom, 1985 (ACS)
Here Are The Pajamas We Picture You In (ACS)
Three Shitty Homes, One Washing Machine, Zero Dryers - Title of Adam's new book (Ray) (AOTH)
Chapstick And Batteries - Title of Adam's next bestselling book (ACS)
Who The Fuck Put Their Sombrero on My Keys? – Title of Adam’s next book (ACS)
Cunt With A Grunt - Adam's favorite Dr. Seuss book (PM)
You'll Never See A Cockroach Jog (PM)
Kemo Skinny Calves - Adam's new children's book (ADS)
You're Dyslexic And I'm Dumb - Adam and John Popper's collaborative next book (ACS)
I Get It If You’re GWAR - Adam's next book (ACS)
Bulk Magazine - Costco magazine that Jimmy Kimmell graced the cover of twice (ACS)
Do You Have To Take Your Top Off To Dye Your Pubes, Drew? (LL)
Glamping With Moriah - Adam's new book (ACS)
From The Mouths of Babes (Hot Chicks Not Babies) (ACS)
(The) Sweet Spot - Adam's next book (Bryan) (ACS)
I Thought Things Would Be Better When I Was Rich (ACS)
Radio Station Kitchen (ACS)
Post-it Notes In Radio Station Kitchens (ACS)
Comedy Club Green Rooms And The Sofas That Were Not Made For Them (ACS)
Jethro, the Mexican Jew - A great children's book (Gina) (ACS)
Professor and the Construction Worker -The worst children's book ever (ACS)
Willie and the Weed - Good name for a children's book (ACS)
What Black People Think White People Complain About (ACS)
Everyone Eventually Becomes The Man (ACS)
Recipe for Misery (1) - Name Of Adam’s next book (ACS)
In Defense Of Black Face - Adam’s next book (ACS)
Hurry Up And Make Sense (2) - Biography title of the Talking Heads (ACS)

Native American Names

Chief Thunderbear (LL)
Dances With Cocks (ACS)
Dances With Lipstick (ACS)
Ol' Urethra Windows (ACS)
Oxnard - Indian name meaning the balls of a bull (ACS)

V/P Names

Absorbent Rag - Good name for T's V (ACS)
Hurt Locker - Another name for T's V (ACS)
Judge's Mansion - Another name for T's G
Cmarket.com - Another name for T's V (ACS)
City of Industry - Another name for T's V (ACS)
Dutch Mook - Another name for T's V (ACS)s V
No Safe Spaces - Great name for T's V (ACS)
Hobo Stove - Another name for A's V (ACS)
Sausage Grinder - Another name for A's V (ACS)
Dixville Notch - Another name for G's V (ACS)
Snake River Canyon - Another name for G's V (ACS)
Dakota Access Pipeline - Another name for G's V (ACS)
The Holidome - Another name for G’s V (ACS)
Discovery Bay - Great name for G's V (ACS)
B.O. Box - Great name for G's V (ACS)
Sea bag - Good name for G's V (ACS)
El Portal - Great name for G's V (ACS)
Harry Belafonte - Adam's name for his junk, if he were a woman (Show?)
Top Gear - Another name for Adam’s junk (ACS)
El Gordo/King Taco - Good name for G’s V (ACS)
Port of Karachi - Good name for G’s V (ACS)
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2020.01.03 19:20 autobuzzfeedbot Meet the 36 rising stars of Madison Avenue revolutionizing advertising

  1. Tierney Wilson, 31, January Digital
  2. Drew Weigel, 35, Tactic
  3. Arthur J. Warren, 31, and Matt McNulty, 29, Goodby, of Silverstein & Partners
  4. Lindsay Wade, 28, Heat, Deloitte Digital
  5. Andy Tamayo, 28, and Alexander Allen, 26, of David Miami
  6. Julia Sourikoff, 31, Tool
  7. Hannah Samad, 30, RPA
  8. Genevieve Robles, 33, Forsman & Bodenfors
  9. Megan Piro, 33, Johannes Leonardo
  10. Cecilia Parrish, 33, The Martin Agency
  11. Marc Parillo, 30, Gale Partners
  12. Steven Panariello, 33, BBDO New York
  13. Data Oruwari, 32, IBM iX
  14. Renata Neumann, 29, Gut Miami
  15. Brian Moore, 33, Droga5
  16. Josh Millrod, 35, Noble People
  17. Kayla Miller, 35, PHD
  18. Christina Mallon, 31, WundermanThompson
  19. Angelo Maia and Ricardo Franco, 33, of GA
  20. Steph Loffredo, 33, Huge
  21. Alicia Kolman, 29, Zenith
  22. Harsh Kapadia, 34, VMLY&R
  23. Chip Johnson, 35, Publicis Sport & Entertainment
  24. Julian Jacobs, 33, UTA Marketing
  25. Jason Huie, 32, Nissan United, TBWAChiatDay
  26. Elizabeth Fermon, 31, Mediahub
  27. Meryl Draper, 29, Quirk Creative
  28. Carrie Dino, 34, Mekanism
  29. Nathalie Con, 30, Giant Spoon
  30. Lindsay Cecero, 27, and Allison Murphy, 29, of TBWA\Media Arts Lab
  31. Frank Cartagena, 34, and Sam Shepherd, 33, of 360i
  32. Arafel Buzan, 26, Mindshare
  33. Maggie Bryan, 33, Stink Studios
  34. Emma Barnett, 31, Wieden+Kennedy
  35. Morgan Acieno, 32, Deutsch LA
  36. Ola Abayomi, 34, Droga5
Link to article
submitted by autobuzzfeedbot to buzzfeedbot [link] [comments]


2019.04.26 20:23 Paul_Rauchet_IBM IBM Z Systems Lab Services User Group meeting - Pervasive Encryption

The IBM Z Systems Lab Services organization is hosting our next user group meeting targeted for May 16th, 2019. The meeting is focused on Pervasive Encryption... If in the NY area, feel free to register and attend. There is no charge. Lots of technical presentations including a customer who recently implemented PE. If you cannot make it on site, we will post a WebEx link so you can participate via remote connection.

Thanks,
Paul

IBM Z Systems Lab Services User Group meeting – Onsite or via WebEx
May 16, 2019 at the IBM 590 Madison Ave, New York or join online

Register now: https://www.meetup.com/IBM-Z-Systems-Lab-Services-User-Group/events/259446598/

IBM Z Systems Lab Services User Group Meeting
Focus area for the May 16, 2019 meeting: IBM Z & LinuxONE Pervasive Encryption.

Agenda highlights
Session Title: IBM Z & LinuxONE Pervasive Encryption - Executive Kickoff
Description: Chris Konarski, IBM Systems Vice President, kicks off the user group meeting with an overview on why IBM Z is the premiere data protection server.
Presenter: Chris Konarski, Vice President Worldwide Technical Sales & Client Success

Session Title: IBM Z & LinuxONE Pervasive Encryption - Putting Data Protection into Practice
Description: You’ve heard the buzz about IBM Z Pervasive Encryption! From protecting data at rest using z/OS data set encryption to locking down virtual appliances using secure containers, IBM Z and LinuxONE have raised the bar for security and data protection. Whether you’re running z/OS, Linux on Z or LinuxONE come learn about real use cases and examples of putting pervasive encryption into practice.
Presenter: Michael Jordan, Distinguished Engineer - IBM Z Security IBM Systems

Session Title: Customer presentation – Why we chose to implement Pervasive Encryption
Description: This session provides a customer’s experience implementing pervasive encryption on IBM Z. The customer will share the steps they have taken to implement PE and where they see the benefits now and in the future.
Presenter: Phil Allison, Enterprise Architect, Architecture and Engineering - Black Knight Financial Services Inc.

Session Title: Client Experience – Implementing Pervasive Encryption
Description: Since announcing the general availability of Pervasive Encryption, the IBM Lab Services security expert consultants have assisted numerous clients to successfully implement PE. This session provides an update from Lab Services on what the clients are doing with PE and how they seamlessly implement pervasive encryption across their IBM Z enterprise.
Presenter: Didier Andre, Mainframe Consultant, IBM Systems Lab Services for IBM Z

Q & A with IBM Z Systems Lab Services subject matter experts covering:
o IBM Z security and compliance
o z/OS, z/VM, Linux on IBM Z operating systems
o Networking
o Db2, IMS, CICS
o WebSphere
o IDAA, Machine Learning on Z
o z/OS Connect
o z14 and LinuxONE hardware brands
o Blockchain on IBM Z

Who should attend:
· IT Architects
· Systems Programmers
· Security Personnel
· System Administrators
· Chief Security Officers
· IT Directors
· Business Partners interested in acquiring IBM Z or Linux on IBM Z skills
Are you interested in this attending this user group on site or via WebEx? Please register by May 9, 2019.
https://www.meetup.com/IBM-Z-Systems-Lab-Services-User-Group/events/259446598/

This user group is free of charge. Participants must make their own travel and accommodation arrangements. The minimum number of participants is 10. Seats will be available for up to 60 on-site participants. WebEx attendees are limited to the first 500.

Contact:
For questions about this event, please contact Paul Rauchet at 215-639-2484 or send an email to: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
User Group Charter: This user group has been established to benefit IBM Z mainframe customers, business partners or anyone looking to expand their IBM Z and LinuxONE skills. Members will learn about new technologies that leverage the IBM Z and LinuxONE platforms and connect with top IBM technical experts. The Meetup events are hosted by the IBM Z and LinuxONE Systems Lab Services (SLS) consultant organization. Although IBM Systems Lab Services covers all worldwide accounts, this user group is targeted for those who reside in the North American time zones. For members unable attend onsite, each meeting will include WebEx access for all presented sessions as well as Q&A. WebEx participants can leverage the WebEx panelist feature to establish private chat sessions to communicate with IBM’s subject matter experts across all IBM Z focus areas.

We are looking forward to welcoming you at the IBM Z Systems Lab Services User Group meeting!!!
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2019.03.28 15:47 SaintRidley SHIMMER for Beginners: A Guide/FAQ ahead of SHIMMER 109-113

What is SHIMMER?

SHIMMER Women Athletes is an all-female wrestling company based out of Chicago. Before WWE’s women’s revolution, before TNA’s Knockouts division, before Women of Honor, there was SHIMMER. SHIMMER was founded in 2005 by Dave Prazak and Allison Danger because, as a manager in ROH and on the indies, Prazak got to know a lot of women in wrestling who felt underutilized and marginalized to being managers or valets because quite often they were the only women on the card. With Danger and a group of other women, Prazak put on the first SHIMMER shows, and the project snowballed from there. As Allison Danger said in a promo after Volume 1, they proved that American joshi was possible.

What is SHIMMER Wrestling like?

SHIMMER is stylistically diverse. They have WWE “main event” style matches, lucha, joshi, Britwres, ROH pure style, comedy, and more. Most matches are 8-20 minutes long. Singles, tag team, triple threat, and four-corner matches are their most common formats, and they rarely do stipulation matches. When they do, they build them as a big deal with storyline build. Most volumes tend to run 2-3 hours (more toward 3 hours on more recent volumes) and feature 10-12 matches. SHIMMER is fairly workrate focused, and very much in the vein of early ROH. There is comedy to be found, but it’s rare to have a comedy match as such, and even those are done with care for the match as a whole.
Because of SHIMMER’s taping schedule (four volumes over two days, twice annually, with a Wrestlemania weekend show as well), most stories tend to cluster around four-volume sets because of talent availability. This isn’t to say longer-form storytelling doesn’t happen in SHIMMER. The story of Trifecta (Mercedes Martinez, Nicole Savoy, and Shayna Baszler), for example, began at Volume 85 in June 2016, saw the trio break up over volumes 96-97 and Nicole Savoy win the SHIMMER Title from Mercedes on volume 99 in November 2017, and wasn’t put to rest until Volume 100 in April 2018 (Mercedes has continued to have a bone to pick with Savoy, but the breakup of Trifecta has given way to a broader “all the veterans against the young champion and the other new blood” kind of story since Volume 101).
One thing you’ll never see in SHIMMER is a vacant title. Dave Prazak has made it abundantly clear in interviews that SHIMMER will never vacate a title – they will always find a way to work around the circumstances of an injury or signing (One example: Sara Del Rey was SHIMMER Tag champion at the time she got signed to WWE, so SHIMMER authorized a title change at an NCW Femmes Fatales show to get the title off her. Nicole Savoy and Cherry Bomb have been injured as champions, and in both cases they were able to heal before dropping the titles).

What are the rules for SHIMMER matches?

How often do SHIMMER shows run?

SHIMMER runs two taping weekends, one in the spring and one in the fall, taping two shows a day over the weekend. On Wrestlemania weekend they tape another volume, and this year Dave Prazak has said they intend to do more shows outside the Chicago area, though no details have come forth about that yet.

Who wrestles for SHIMMER?

SHIMMERfeatures a mix of US and international talent. The international talent comes from the UK, Mexico, Japan, and Europe. Big non-US names such as Aja Kong, Kana, Nikki Storm, Brittani and Saraya Knight, Sexy Star (as Dulce Garcia), Wesna, Ayako Hamada, Kay Lee Ray, Viper, and more have appeared for SHIMMER. Several current WWE talents on the main roster (Cesaro Becky Lynch, Bayley, the IIconics, Nikki Cross, Asuka, Ember Moon, Ruby Riott and Sarah Logan, Mickie James, Natalya, Beth Phoenix) and developmental (Shayna Baszler, Mia Yim, Candice LeRae, Chelsea Green, Dakota Kai, Deonna Purrazzo, Tegan Nox, Jinny, Toni Storm, Rachael Ellering ) have worked for SHIMMER. Of the 32 women in each Mae Young Classic, 17 from 2017’s tournament and 12 from 2018’s tournament have been inside a SHIMMER ring.
A breakdown of the SHIMMER roster:
I’m basing this largely on the last tapings. SHIMMER roster turnover means there’s a bit of churn due to wrestler availability, but some names have become pretty constant. Due to some wrestlers being signed by WWE since the last tapings (like Kay Lee Ray, Viper, and Rachael Ellering) or injured (Vanessa Kraven), I may be speculating in some of the below because of the major holes put in the upper card and serious midcard
The Current Upper Card: These are the women currently hanging around the title picture/most likely to be matched up with visiting legends:
The Serious Midcard: These are regulars who win more than they lose, but aren’t in the main event as often as the bunch listed above.
The Comedy Midcard: What it says on the tin; these are midcarders with primarily comedic gimmicks, though that doesn’t mean they aren’t serious threats.
The Lower Midcard: They lose more than they win, but they’re generally treated as credible.
Foreign Stars: Around a little less than the rest of the roster, these women are nonetheless treated as main-event caliber threats and often headline the shows they’re on.
Other people who matter: Significant people not covered above.
• There are a bunch of other workers who’ve either made little impact or haven’t shown up in long enough that I didn’t cover them here. Apologies to that whole bunch, but this thing is gonna be long as it is.

Does NXT UK stuff apply here?

While SHIMMER isn’t in the UK, they do like to bring over British talents, and so they have been hit a bit with the NXT UK contracts preventing wrestlers from doing appearances. This isn’t as big an issue to SHIMMER as it might be for us; Toni Storm, Viper, Kay Lee Ray, and Jinny are confirmed as no longer available to work SHIMMER because of this, but Prazak just sees this as opening up slots for hungry new talent to step in and prove themselves. Considering Dave Prazak was behind the curtain consulting during the first Mae Young Classic, there’s at least a friendly-ish relationship between WWE and SHIMMER, so who knows. Only WWE and SHIMMER know the score, so we just have to trust they know what they’re doing.

Who are the current SHIMMER Champions?

Are there any annual tournaments or special events?

Not annually, but SHIMMER occasionally puts together a special match such as their SHIMMvivor series match from Volume 50, the ChickFight Tournament from volume 71, and the the Rumble-style battle royal from volume 19. Their annual Wrestlemania weekend shows don’t always feature such matches, but Volume 53’s steel cage match was the first in SHIMMER history and only possible because they can’t fit a cage in the Eagles Club.

Are there SHIMMER power rankings?

Not officially, but if you need some these are based on my read of recent tapings:
That doesn't cover everyone, but it gives you a general idea. These tiers are not rigid, and a given worker can generally lose to anyone one tier below them or conceivably beat anyone one tier above them.

How can I watch SHIMMER?

If you want select matches only, and the ability to download them, SHIMMER offers matches on Clickwrestle. They also have DVDs for the physical-media collectors, and their streaming site StreamShimmer. It costs $9.99 a month. For that you get every SHIMMER show from volume 1 to vol. 78 (they’re currently catching up to the physical releases).
For the upcoming SHIMMER shows March 30 and 31 you can watch them as an all-day ippv WWN March 30 or on FITE.TV March 30 and March 31. For the Wrestlemania weekend show April 5, you can watch it on FITE.TV or WWN.

I'm new to SHIMMER, where should I start?

Option one is to start at the beginning. There’s a bit of a regrettable gap, currently, between where the DVDs/StreamSHIMMER are at, and current shows. The streaming site should help the promotion with the cashflow issue that’s been bottlenecking production of new DVDs by allowing them to bypass that for initial releases of shows, but we’ll see. With SHIMMER joining the 21st century and doing ippvs, I think you can get away with just watching these upcoming shows and diving in and using the stream site for catch-up and DVDs as collectors’ items.
Also, because I’m mostly ripping of Xalazi’s format and they did this for Stardom:

10 Matches to Watch on StreamSHIMMER (or SHIMMER’s youtube, where they have a few matches up)

These aren’t necessarily the best 10 matches, as I prioritized diversity of workers and styles over sheer snowflake count, but should give you a good idea of both the roster SHIMMER sports and the variety it offers. That said, some of these may spoil long-run storylines so if you’re planning to start at a point before any of them, use your own discretion when deciding what’s safe to skip to. In no particular order:

How can I find out what's coming up?

Following SHIMMER on Twitter or Facebook is your best bet.

I don’t want play catch-up, what are the big storylines right now?

Heading into volumes 109-113, I’d say the title pictures are the three most important things happening, and they’re all a bit open-ended:

I have other questions!

Well I might have other answers. I’m not all-knowing, though, and with the gap in what’s available, I can’t answer anything that really covers between 82-99 in any kind of detail. You might try contacting SHIMMER directly if it’s a question they’re better suited to answering.

You got something wrong/left someone out!

Ok, tell me about it. Happy to update/I could honestly use the help.

Bottom line me: Why should I watch SHIMMER?

If you want to see the most consistently high quality and best women’s wrestling happening in the United States, SHIMMER’s the place to go. A lot of women in SHIMMER have gone on to work in WWE, Impact, or ROH (and soon AEW with the signings of Kylie Rae and Britt Baker), but their best work stateside has very often been in SHIMMER. There simply isn’t a better body of quality American women’s wrestling out there.
One of the best qualities of SHIMMER is its respect for its titles. The championships are the biggest thing in the promotion, and there has never been a vacancy for any of them. In an interview on Madusa’s podcast, Dave Prazak said SHIMMER will never vacate a title – he feels that it cheapens the championship to do that. They will always find a way to work around injury or a signing to avoid putting a vacancy in the title history (as they did when Sara Del Rey signed as a trainer with WWE and they scheduled a quick title drop in Canada on an NCW Femmes Fatales show), no matter the situation.
If you want 40+ minute epics, SHIMMER’s not really the place for you. Their sweet spot is 10-15 minutes of excellently paced, hard-hitting wrestling. That’s not to say they don’t have long matches, but they are comparatively fewer.
As for downsides, SHIMMER can be very slow to adapt. It took until 2018 for them to put together a streaming site, and while the site works well enough, it’s rather limited in its capabilities. If you attend SHIMMER in person, be prepared for a very long day. Two tapings in one day, with each being about 3-3.5 hours, is quite a bit to sit through. It’s absolutely worth it, but I don’t blame anyone who can’t do it.
Due to the way tapings are scheduled as a weekend marathon, SHIMMER rarely announces many matches ahead of time. They don’t need to – they sell out their venue on brand and talent announcements alone. As they approach the weekend, they'll generally announce a few of the matches for the first volume of the taping and the stories progress from there (as of this morning, volume 109 has Nicole Savoy defending against Britt Baker and Rosemary returning to action against Samantha Heights). It’s great for them, but it does mean that you have to trust the promotion as a fan. They tend to advertise matches for their Mania weekend card, but this go around it will have to wait until after they finish the tapings this weekend.
The big issue SHIMMER faces is not a matter of content, wrestling style, or anything they have any real control over. Rather, it is their very small operating budget. Sure, the Eagle’s Club has a chandelier above the ring and that looks fancy, but SHIMMER operates on a shoestring. The small scale of the Eagle’s Club means that there’s no way to sell enough tickets to actually recoup the cost of the renting the venue from ticket sales alone (and that doesn’t count SHIMMER paying for travel expenses for international talent to come in, which they do). Essentially, SHIMMER lays out a lot of money and needs to sell the physical DVDs (and now subscriptions) to be able to cover the cost of the show. Except pressing the DVDs and having them made to a high standard also costs a lot of money, so SHIMMER pretty much lives off the sales of the DVDs and subscriptions. It’s led to them getting to the point of being a couple years behind on DVDs (Volumes 82-83 are only just now coming out on disc) because they simply don’t have the money to keep up in real time. Until SHIMMER can get their financial status situated, it’s going to be hard to close that gap, but without closing that gap it makes audiences hesitant to invest in the product, forcing a catch-22 situation.
Overall, it’s an exceedingly well-booked promotion that puts on at least a couple great matches per show and a good atmosphere. If you’re into women’s wrestling, you should probably be into SHIMMER.
American joshi is possible
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2019.03.13 08:49 Gerard54321 Tribeca 2019 my picks

Blow the Man Down
While grieving for the loss of their mother, the Connolly Sisters suddenly find they have a crime to cover up, leading them deep into the underbelly of their salty Maine fishing village.
stars Morgan Saylor

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Gully
After surviving traumatic childhoods, three disillusioned teens reach their breaking points and go on a rampage through Los Angeles.
stars Terrence Howard, Amber Heard, Charlie Plummer, Robin Givens.

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Initials SG
an aging Argentine Serge Gainsbourg wannabe struggles with a career he can’t seem to get on track, an affair he doesn’t want, and a crime he didn’t mean to commit.
stars Julianne Nicholson

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Swallow
a newly pregnant housewife, finds herself increasingly compelled to consume dangerous objects. As her husband and his family tighten their control over her life, she must confront the dark secret behind her new obsession.
stars Haley Bennett

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Mystify
Michael Hutchence was flying high as the lead singer of the legendary rock band INXS until his untimely death in 1997. Richard Lowenstein’s kinetic yet intimate documentary examines Hutchence’s deeply felt life through his many loves and demons

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Recorder:
Beginning in the 1970s, Marion Stokes recorded an incredible 70,000 VHS tapes of unfiltered daily television. At the time, her compulsion raised eyebrows, but revisited through the lens of today’s media landscape, Stokes’ unusual life’s work becomes an extraordinary archive of television—and American—history.

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Scheme Birds,
teenage troublemaker Gemma comes of age in her fading Scottish steel town. But in a place where “you either get knocked up or locked up,” innocent games can easily turn serious

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A Woman’s Work:
Football and feminism collide in this documentary that follows former NFL cheerleaders battling the league to end wage theft and illegal employment practices that have persisted for 50 years

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Roads,
An unlikely pair of teenage loners hit the road in an impromptu border-crossing adventure in this cross-cultural road movie from the breakout director of Victoria. With Fionn Whitehead, Stéphane Bak

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White As Snow
Prolific French filmmaker Anne Fontaine recasts the tale of Snow White as the story of a sheltered young woman’s sexual awakening in this racy feminist fable. stars Isabelle Huppert

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Crown Vic,
Over the course of a single night, two police officers at opposite ends of their careers find themselves thrust into a violent hunt for two cop killers on the loose in the Olympic Division of Los Angeles. With Thomas Jane

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Dreamland,
Amid the dust storms and economic depression of Dustbowl Era Oklahoma, Eugene Evans finds his family farm on the brink of foreclosure. His last bet to save the farm is the bounty on the head of fugitive bank robber Allison Wells.
With Margot Robbie, Travis Fimmel, Kerry Condon, Garrett Hedlund,

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The Kill Team,
true story of Private Andrew Briggman, an infantryman in Afghanistan who is swept up in a conspiracy of violence against civilians perpetrated by his own platoon. With Nat Wolff, Alexander Skarsgård, Rob Morrow

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Lost Transmissions,
After a famed record producer goes off his schizophrenia meds, an introverted songwriter dedicates herself to getting him the help he needs, perhaps at the cost of her own dreams.
stars, Juno Temple

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Only,
After the onset of a mysterious plague that affects only females, Eva may be the only woman left on Earth. Longing for freedom after months of secret quarantine, she and her partner Will venture out into the unknown.
stars Freida Pinto

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Safe Spaces,
A young professor faces criticism over a classroom controversy
stars Justin Long

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CRSHD,
Best friends Izzy, Anuka, and Fiona have a pact to lose their virginity before the summer break. They pin their hopes on getting into their college’s super exclusive “crush party.”

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Goldie,
Goldie takes care of her sisters while their mom is in prison, but her true dream is stardom. With child protective services looming and a real music video shoot on the horizon, Goldie’s last option is to make her dreams come true or lose it all

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Lost Bayou,
a struggling addict returns home to the Louisiana bayou to reconnect with her father
stars Teri Wyble

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Lucky Grandma
Set in New York City’s Chinatown, the film follows an ornery, chain-smoking Chinese grandma who goes all in at the casino, landing herself on the wrong side of luck… and in the middle of a gang war

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Pearl,
. Léa Pearl is set to compete in the final of the international female bodybuilding championship, Miss Heaven. Her plans are upended when her ex-lover shows up with the six-year-old son she left behind. With Julia Föri, Peter Mullan

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Wild Rose,
Fresh out of jail, housekeeper-by-day, country-singer-by-night Rose-Lynn wears cowboy boots over her ankle monitor, letting loose at Glasgow’s own Grand Ole Opry, while dreaming of leaving it all behind for the big time in Nashville. With Jessie Buckley, Sophie Okonedo, and Julie Walters

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Driveways,
. In this beautifully understated drama, a lonesome boy accompanies his mother on a trip to clean out his late aunt’s house, and ends up forming an unexpected friendship with the retiree who lives next door. With Hong Chau, Brian Dennehy

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In Fabric,
a cursed scarlet dress that passes through the lives of several characters. Once again, Strickland unites disorienting cinematic trickery with deadpan comedy to astonishing results. With Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Hayley Squires, Leo Bill, Julian Barratt, Steve Oram, Gwendoline Christie.

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The Projectionist,
In his first New York City-set documentary in nearly a decade, filmmaker and provocateur Abel Ferrara uses the experience of one longtime cinema owner to chart the vast changes to the city’s theatrical landscape

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Bliss,
In need of creative inspiration, a professionally stagnant and hard-partying Los Angeles artist recklessly indulges in a series of drug binges. As the narcotics fly out of control, so does her newfound and inexplicable, yet unquenchable, craving for blood. With Dora Madison

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Come To Daddy,
After receiving a cryptic letter from his estranged father, Norval travels to his dad’s oceanfront home for what he hopes will be a positive experience. If only he’d known the dark truth about his old man beforehand. With Elijah Wood, Stephen McHattie, Martin Donovan, Michael Smiley

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Ask Dr. Ruth,
. Plain-spoken and thickly accented, Dr. Ruth Westheimer became a household name in the 1980s by transforming the way Americans talk and think about sexuality. At 90, Dr. Ruth reflects on her life from Holocaust survivor to celebrity sex therapist

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Earth Break:
What’s a girl to do when life as she knows it is upturned by a devastating alien invasion? Maybe record an audio diary of her daily survival strategy in this post-apocalyptic podcast
with Jenny Slate

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XY Chelsea,
. Following the shock commutation of her sentence, whistleblower and trans woman Chelsea Manning prepares to leave an all-male military prison in Kansas and transition to living life for the first time as a free woman
submitted by Gerard54321 to Oscars [link] [comments]


2019.01.14 18:30 AidanLFC National Wrestling Federation: March 2019 - Overload

National Wrestling Federation: March 2019 - Overload
Previous posts:
NWF: A New Journey - November and December 2018
NWF: Disaster Strikes - January 2019
NWF: Long Way Down - February 2019

March 2019
Tuesday Week 1: NWF Pulse:
https://preview.redd.it/x60pptjkbfa21.png?width=881&format=png&auto=webp&s=770b09473b4d375ff5db2e8020e8ad60621262f0
The Young Bucks open the show with the tag team titles over their shoulders. Having just won the titles, they brag about their performance over The Addiction, claiming it was ‘Too Sweet!’ – The Addiction interrupt them and they go back and forth on the microphone for a few minutes.
Madison Eagles then comes down to the ring, for her match with Toni Storm. Madison pins Toni in 8 minutes in a well-received match. The women’s division certainly seems to be heating up, and all the girls seem to stepping up their game following the signing of Mayu Iwatani.
Rich Swann then cuts a promo in the ring, hyping himself up after vanquishing Chavo Guerrero at the PPV, Long Way Down, on Sunday. Rick Rougeau’s music hits, as he gets ready for his match, and kicks Swann out of the ring. Rougeau vs. Sydal follows, and Rougeau wins again with his Sleeper Hold. No one has escaped the Sleeper so far.
Mayu Iwatani then cuts a backstage promo, simply stating “you. Me. Overload. I will win the title.” And drops the mic, with an obvious threat to Mercedes Martinez and her women’s championship.
Damien Stevens then makes a blockbuster announcement: the United States title will be defended next week on Pulse, as he is invoking his rematch clause against DB Smith.
In tonight’s Main Event, Alberto El Patron faced Heath Miller in an exceptional match. This match has undoubtedly boosted Miller’s stock in the company, and may enjoy a small push above where the company expected him to be over the next few months.
Cody Rhodes then returned to NWF Pulse, in a very strong segment. Cody immediately set his sights on El Patron after his match against Miller, and to the roar of the crowd, beat him down in the middle of the ring.
This week’s episode of Pulse again set a new benchmark for the weekly TV show, producing the highest rating in the show’s short history. The show edges ever closer to the 2 million viewers mark, and with the continuation of this level of quality, may cross this milestone soon. This weeks episode pulled in a reported 1.98m viewers.
Tuesday Week 2: NWF Pulse:
https://preview.redd.it/izy2ecelbfa21.png?width=881&format=png&auto=webp&s=fbb79b51b779da2509edc1017cf59c344dad243c
In a match designed to gain some momentum for the heel side of the women’s division, Allison Kay and Nicole Matthews defeated Tenille and Brandi Rhodes in a tag-team match. Nicole Matthews pinned Tenille in around 9 minutes. Tenille and Brandi struggled to work together as partners in this match.
Backstage, Damien Stevens is seen briefly talking to Bruce Prichard, but the microphones are cut off. It is unknown what they were talking about.
In a short vignette, El Penta Zero is announced for next week’s NWF Pulse episode, after a 2 month hiatus from the company.
In Cody’s first match back in the company, he defeated Trevor Murdoch in a quick showcase match for Cody, hitting the Cross Rhodes for the win. Cody performed very well in this match.
The Vice then cut a short promo, hyping themselves up backstage. The Brooklyn Brawlers come across the camera, jeering The Vice.
Mercedes Martinez enters the ring and tells Mayu Iwatani that she cannot, and will not, take her title, and that she is all hype!
The ring is prepared for the huge main event match tonight, but before it starts, Bruce Prichard walks through the curtain and announces that Paul Heyman is banned from ringside for tonight’s NWF United States Championship match!
In a 25 minute match, DB Smith retained the NWF US Title against Damien Stevens, despite the absence of manager Paul Heyman. The match disappointed many, and failed to live up to the expectations that the fans and NWF Management had. Ratings also dropped off this week after last week’s high, down to around 1.7m viewers even with a Championship match in the main event.
Tuesday Week 3: NWF Pulse:
https://preview.redd.it/d0b057ymbfa21.png?width=881&format=png&auto=webp&s=3c214f5f74ac8182a4bcbc8d1355a88ac3eec900
In his first match in NWF in over a month, PAC defeated Chris Melendez in 8 minutes. PAC and Melendez didn’t click very well in the ring, and this led to a disappointing return for PAC, but the company still has plans for him over the coming months and believe that it was chemistry, rather than the ability of either performer, that led to the poor match on this show.
The show then segued straight into another match, with Iwatani defeating Allison Kay with a Dragon Suplex. Iwatani was fantastic again in this match, and the NWF have high hopes for her title match against Mercedes Martinez at NWF Overload.
A short vignette hyping the return of El Penta Zero, portrayed as simply as PENTA, played, and it was announced that he will face Anthony Bennett later tonight.
DB Smith and Paul Heyman then cut a promo, labelling themselves the ‘most dominant force in NWF’. The company plan to bill him as an unstoppable force as he receives a push towards the main event of the company over the next year or so.
PAC then finds Bruce Prichard backstage, yelling at him for ‘derailing’ his NWF stint, as PAC’s last segment on NWF TV was Prichard telling him that he would not receive another NWF US Title match. Prichard did, however, acknowledge that he will give PAC opportunities in the coming weeks.
PENTA then returned to NWF, defeating Anthony Bennett in a quick match that he carried. PENTA performed well in the ring and the company will look to give him a more prominent role in the company over the coming weeks.
Alberto El Patron then came out, complaining about Cody Rhodes’ vicious ‘assault’ on him 2 weeks ago, and tells the audience that he wants Cody fired from NWF for his actions.
MVP then defeated Carlito Colon in the main event match tonight, hitting a Playmaker in the 13th minute of the match. Colon was not on his game tonight, and this was shown in the match’s reception by the fans. A deflated crowd watched on as the show went off the air.

Wednesday Week 4: Magazine Release:
https://preview.redd.it/l4w78nhpbfa21.png?width=497&format=png&auto=webp&s=62eccf180fef5050ed037cb9ddb88f629b19a472
Tuesday Week 4: NWF Pulse:
https://preview.redd.it/fw85jkrnbfa21.png?width=881&format=png&auto=webp&s=df348c71687551f3470c0dc0e82cd7d55cdd66a6
Bruce Prichard opens the show to announce that, at NWF Overload, PENTA will face Cody Rhodes in a #1 Contender’s match for the NWF World Heavyweight Championship. PAC interrupts him, and Prichard follows through on his promise of opportunity, giving PAC a chance to qualify for the PPV match. If he beats Jay Lethal tonight, it will become a 3-way match at Overload.
Heath Miller then faced, and beat, Trevor Murdock.
MVP then announces that, at Overload, HE will be DB Smith’s opponent, with the title on the line. He says that Prichard told him that, as he had already beat Smith at Disaster Strikes, he would be given his opportunity this Sunday.
Scarlett Bordeaux then comes out to a thunderous reaction, in her first appearance since her nude photoshoot. She faced Tenille and beat her in 9:30 with a Bedazzler. The company have thought about turning Bordeaux face in light of her newly-found popularity, as long as she continues to ride this wave of momentum, and doesn’t sizzle out.
In a very strong match, PAC defeats Jay Lethal in the main event, qualifying him for the match at Overload. After the match, PENTA confronts PAC, and the two have a staredown to close the show.
Sunday Week 4: NWF Overload:

https://preview.redd.it/us7veqjprga21.png?width=881&format=png&auto=webp&s=6e247115ff1fe5ef128d71c3a0ab7fd12ceada8e
In a tag team match for the NWF Tag Team Titles, The Young Bucks successfully defended against The Addiction. The match was extremely compelling and all performers did very well in the match. The Young Bucks have kicked it up a notch in-ring wise during this feud, and the NWF hope that they will continue in this vein, and perform at the level expected of them when they were brought in.
The Motor City Machines then showed up at the top of the stage, pointing at the NWF Tag Team titles and taunting the Young Bucks.
After the ring was clear, Scarlett Bordeaux comes down to the ring, flaunting herself to pop the crowd. The NWF seem to be pushing Bordeaux as a stripper-esque character after her nude pictures were published. Scarlett came out of this segment looking excellent.
A hype package then played for the match between MVP and DB Smith, highlighting their feud over the past few months.
The US Title match soon followed the package, as DB Smith made his 2nd successful title defense. This was the best match between Smith and MVP thus far, but the company are keen for Smith to move past MVP and on to a new opponent in order to not allow the feud to become stale. Heyman hyped up DB Smith again after the match.
A backstage segment between The Vice and Brooklyn Brawlers then ensued, as they taunted each other during an interview.
Mercedes Martinez vs. Mayu Iwatani then got underway. In a match that was given over 20 minutes, Mayu Iwatani claimed the NWF Women’s Championship. The time given in this match shows the trust that the NWF have in Iwatani, and the match was even considered to be the main event this evening, but the company eventually decided that the #1 Contender’s Match should close the show.
Rich Swann then cut a promo backstage, but Rick Rougeau interrupted, trying to steal the spotlight from Swann. The two argued back and forth until the camera cut away.
Another hype package, this time for the #1 Contender’s match, played. The video showed each competitor’s journey to this match so far, as all 3 men seek to cement their place on the next NWF Pay-Per-View event. El Patron then joined the commentary team ahead of the match before it got underway.
Despite Cody Rhodes not showing his best, the main event was a great success. Cody eventually got the win, setting up Rhodes vs. El Patron III for next month’s PPV. He pinned PENTA after hitting a Beautiful Disaster kick. El Patron then got in the ring and held up the title in Cody’s face to close the show.
Also in March:
Scarlett Bordeaux posed nude in a popular men’s magazine this month, giving her a boost in huge name value in North America. This mainstream attention may have convinced the company, more so than they already were, that the Smokeshow gimmick has huge untapped potential and Scarlett may be pushed further up the women’s card in the coming months.
NWF’s financial records show another strong month of profits last month, with the company’s revenue exceeding well over $1 million. Net profit amounted to a reported $430,000.
Dustin Rhodes (Goldust) has not been offered a contract renewal by WWE. There is currently no word on whether NWF will try to sign the veteran, but Rhodes is thought to feel as though he has some time left as an in-ring talent, and will not seek to retire from wrestling should he be released by WWE.
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2019.01.09 23:14 AidanLFC National Wrestling Federation: A New Journey - November and December 2018

National Wrestling Federation: A New Journey - November and December 2018
Introductory Notes
This diary is designed to be written from a perspective of someone outside of the company. I intend to write, for the most part, from the perspective of a journalist-esque character, and so will write as if I do not know everything about the company. This is my first diary attempt, and I do not claim to be any good at writing nor good at booking in TEW. I will update using monthly reviews of shows, company news or anything else I find interesting, posting screenshots of all shows ran in each month. I am booking each show myself in TEW2016.
A New Journey:
The National Wrestling Federation (NWF) is a new wrestling company set up by a consortium of wealthy businessmen (who wish to remain unknown) in March 2018. The consortium, simply known as the 'NWF Foundation', based out of the Mid-Atlantic region, has stated their ambition to go head-to-head with the top wrestling companies in the world. This would imply that the company will be going after big-name stars, as well as competing financially with the WWE.
All has seemed quiet since the announcement of the company in March, leaving some fans wondering whether the project was still going ahead. On 1st November 2018, however, the NWF Foundation issued the following statement:
Welcome to the National Wrestling Federation. We can only apologise for the long delays in updates on this new and exciting venture since the initial announcement in March. We are excited to announce that, with all the hard work behind the scenes by our partners, we are now ready to begin running shows in December. Over the following days and weeks, we will be announcing new members of the roster, as well as the exciting news that a weekly television programme, NWF Pulse, will debut on SpikeTV in Week 1 of December 2018 in the USA, and on demand on Netflix internationally. The 'Pulse' TV shows will be accompanied by monthly events, all taking place on the last Sunday of each month. December's event will be named 'Night of Destiny'.
Today, we also unveil the NWF's brand logo, as well as the show logos for NWF Pulse and Night of Destiny.
NWF Brand Logo
NWF Pulse TV Show Logo
NWF Night of Destiny Logo
We hope you are all as excited as we are to finally unveil the plans for NWF going forward, and hope you will join us in watching and enjoying our story unfold.
The NWF Foundation.
November 2018:
Following the November 1st announcement, Bruce Prichard was announced on Twitter as the Head Booker, as well as the on screen General Manager for the NWF. It is thought that the NWF Foundation wished to go with an experienced hand in the wrestling business, but wanted to ensure that the product remained innovative, and this would be shown in the personnel signed both on and off-screen.
The week of this press release proved a very busy one for the NWF, with the announcement of the signing of Brandi Rhodes to an exclusive contract on Wednesday, Week 1 leading to speculation that Cody Rhodes would soon follow, someone who it is thought that the NWF wish to make a top star in the company. The announcement of Brandi was followed up in the few days afterwards with the confirmation of talent such as Rey Fenix, Adam Page, Pentagon Jr and Alberto El Patron. Cody Rhodes was, in fact, confirmed on the Saturday of Week 1.
In perhaps the biggest shock signing in recent history in the wrestling business, UFC Champion Daniel Cormier signed on as the primary colour commentator for the company, confirming rumours that he had wanted to 'dip his toes' into the wrestling business.
In Week 2 of November, an even bigger surprise was unveiled. Paul Heyman, who was not under a written contract with the WWE, signed for the NWF as both a permanent on-screen and behind-the-scenes talent. Many other signings were undoubtedly finalised during this period, but the company seems to want to keep some names as out of public knowledge until they appear on-screen.
December 2018:
Tuesday Week 1: NWF Pulse's Inaugural show:
https://preview.redd.it/5xqyaxptsg921.png?width=891&format=png&auto=webp&s=9934b0ac0db2e1e7f53b14b333cecec28da4267c
The first show signalled a good start for the young company, with Alberto El Patron stealing the show in the main event, carrying the show to a good overall reaction.
We also had Paul Heyman introducing his newest client, DB Smith (known elsewhere as Davey Boy Smith, Jr.) and the debut of Ryan Gotch, formerly known in WWE as Simon Gotch.
Toni Storm vs. Madison Eagles opened the NWF's Women Division, with the pair having a bout that is thought to have exceeded the NWF Foundation's expectations, and as a result the NWF is thought to have high expectations for the Women's division, portraying it as equal to the Men's Main Event.
Tuesday Week 2: NWF Pulse
https://preview.redd.it/nq5mdmseug921.png?width=891&format=png&auto=webp&s=23011d06761b29f7b5a89d7d7561d309e96b8b04
This week's show saw El Patron announce a 4-way elimination match for next week's main event after beating down the debuting Cody Rhodes. The final 2 competitors in the match will face-off for the NWF World Heavyweight title at Night of Destiny, with the eventual winner of the bout deciding the stipulation of the match at the Pay-Per-View event. Scarlett Bordeaux also debuted in NWF, carrying over her 'Smokeshow' gimmick from Impact Wrestling, a persona which Bruce Prichard is thought to rate highly, hence the continuation of the gimmick in NWF. This was rewarded with a very good reception for the character, despite the slight reduction in match quality compared to the women's bout last week on Pulse.
A short vignette for Damien Stevens (Sandow) was also played during the transition to the main event. While Cody managed to fight off Chavo Guerrero in his first match in the company, Brandi's debut in the women's division was a loss to Mercedes Martinez.
Former WWE Star PAC also made an appearance this week, and it is thought that he too has signed an exclusive contract with the company. He defeated the youngster Anthony Bennett, who was brought in as an enhancement talent, quickly and efficiently.
DB Smith and Paul Heyman's on-screen partnership was also further developed, with Heyman hyping up DB Smith as a future star.
Tuesday Week 3: NWF Pulse:
https://preview.redd.it/uoxt813qvg921.png?width=891&format=png&auto=webp&s=c6c85927410bd7493d6c3ebbf73d4037563b2b93
This week's show opened with Tenille (fka as Emma) defeating Allison Kay. Following her victory, Tenille was placed in an NWF Women's title match at Night of Destiny against Mercedes Martinez. It is thought that the company scrambled to get a title made for the women's division following the impressive reactions to the women's division over the first 2 weeks of programming, and this was the reason for the hot-shotting of a match at the PPV event.
Rick Rougeau (son of former WWE Tag Team and Intercontinental Champion, Jacques 'The Mountie' Rougeau, real name Cedric Rougeau) was brought in to face a local talent John Skyler, in a tryout match for Rougeau, who stands at 6'7". NWF officials are thought to be satisfied with his performance, and he has since signed a deal with the company.
Heyman and Smith then assaulted the debuting MVP following his introductory promo to the audience. MVP stated that he wanted to cement himself as a recognisable 'Hall of Famer' during his NWF tenure. Whether he will achieve this goal or not remains to be seen.
Pentagon Jr, under the name 'El Penta Zero' also faced Rocky Romero.
Following Matt Jackson's concussion in a match in Ring of Honor versus The Addiction, he has been out of action, but the NWF wanted The Young Bucks to make an appearance on TV, as they feel they are big names who can draw in the hardcore viewers and so the company wanted to make it known that The Bucks have also signed exclusive contracts with the NWF.
This week's Main Event, as advertised, was the 4-way for the PPV match spots. Rey Fenix and Ted DiBiase Jr were the unannounced competitors, but the match did not meet backstage officials' expectations. Cody Rhodes won the match, and thus the chance to choose the stipulation for his title match against Alberto El Patron at Night of Destiny.
Tuesday Week 4: NWF Pulse
https://preview.redd.it/si7hsdpaxg921.png?width=891&format=png&auto=webp&s=6a9040a24e2547cf5e35d9e127b506bc8fa1dad7
Chavo Guerrero's first victory in the company, against Rocky Romero, opened this week's show. Scarlett Bordeaux again played up her 'Smokeshow' character, by insulting Tessa Blanchard's looks during Blanchard's promo.
Matt Sydal's scheduled match against Hangman Page was cancelled following a pre-match attack by Ryan Gotch. Following the show, Sydal confirmed on social media that he had requested, and been granted, a chance at retribution with a match against Gotch at Night of Destiny.
Tessa Blanchard's promo was followed up by a match against Madison Eagles, which she won. She then called out Bordeaux, challenging her to a match at the PPV on Sunday. This was again thought to be a result of the company deciding to push the women's division heavily and thus wanted to get another women's match onto the PPV card.
Cody Rhodes then taunted Alberto El Patron, and confirmed that his chosen stipulation was a steel cage match. The NWF confirmed that they would use classic steel cage rules. That is, only a pinfall or submission can end the match.
Jay Lethal then defeated a debuting Carlito, which was followed up by an announcement of a 4-way match at Night of Destiny for the NWF United States Championship. Unlike the late addition of the women's match, the announcement of the US title match was intentionally left until the last show, in order to create a 'surprise moment' on the Pulse TV show ahead of the NWF's first big event. The 4 confirmed competitors for the match are Jay Lethal, El Penta Zero, Damien Stevens and PAC. PAC is thought to be the company's early favourite to win the US Title, but plans are subject to change.
MVP then defeated Ted DiBiase Jr., in a match designed to boost MVP's stock ahead of the match with DB Smith at Night of Destiny.
Sunday Week 4: NWF Night of Destiny
https://preview.redd.it/kdbva4zsyg921.png?width=891&format=png&auto=webp&s=00105bf1394bfcdebc78317504f51b632e5449fe
The Night of Destiny event opened with the NWF US Title bout, which was one-fall-to-the-finish. Despite PAC being the company's early favourite, it was decided that his title victory should be built to, and thus he lost the match, being pinned by eventual winner, Damien Stevens. He then attacked Stevens after the match, alluding to a longer-term programme between the two.
Rob Van Dam was also shown as being in attendance at the show, but it is unknown whether he has signed with the company or not. Reports have suggested that, if he was to sign, he would only play a part-time role and would not feature prominently week-to-week.
DB Smith then defeated MVP. DB Smith is someone that higher-ups in the company are high on and his push is expected to be maintained, especially due to his new partnership with Paul Heyman.
Scarlett Bordeaux then defeated Tessa Blanchard with a roll-up. Blanchard had been on top in the match but was quickly pinned by Scarlett.
Chavo Guerrero then cut a bitter promo, demanding not to be overlooked in NWF, as he is better than everyone on the roster. This is thought to be part of a new bitter veteran gimmick which will play out over the next few months.
Ryan Gotch then defeated Matt Sydal. Company officials are thought to be keeping a close eye over Gotch, due to his past behavioural issues in WWE, but is someone that they believe has the right tools to be an important member of the roster, despite not being someone they think can be a top star.
Mercedes Martinez then defeated Tenille for the NWF Women's Championship.
A special episode of 'Being the Elite' then debuted on the event, played through the screen in the arena. This was met with a relatively lukewarm reaction by the fans, although did signal that The Addiction, Frankie Kazarian and Christopher Daniels, have signed with NWF. It is thought that a long programme between The Bucks and The Addiction will follow, based around Matt Jackson's injury during their match with The Addiction in ROH.
Alberto El Patron then defeated Cody Rhodes in the main event, becoming the first ever NWF World Heavyweight Champion. Having signed Patron on a pay-per-appearance deal initially, the company have been pleased with his performances and are looking to reward him with a written deal and a 1-year contract extension, designed to prevent other large companies from swooping in and taking their champion.
Also in December:
Following the contract expiry of long-tenured WWE star Heath Miller (Slater), he has signed with the NWF on a long-term deal. This is one of the few attempts by the NWF to poach WWE employees, with Paul Heyman being a successful example. Tom Phillips and Patrick Clark, known as The Velveteen Dream, were other examples who decided to stick with the WWE over the NWF.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave any advice, predictions or general comments!
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2018.08.02 00:47 Texas1971 Carollaisms (August)

Carollaisms (August)

Band Names/Rap Stars

Mitt Romney and the One Percenters (ACS)
ManAyz - Rap star (LL)
D'Bagz - Rap star (LL)
Maxi Pad - An all-girl band that knows how to rock (LL)
Dick Tingle - One of the best blues men in the business (Show?)
Lynette and the Lackeys (ACS)
Straw Hat and the Bowties - Jerry Springer's dixieland band who plays at the Knott's Berry Farm Good Time Theater (ACS)
Gut Fluffer (ACS)
Johnny Beaumont and The Legionnaires - All wear matching powder blue tuxedoes (ACS)
Automatic Vaginismus – Great band name (LL)
Dissuade/D’ Suede - Rappeproducer of Kanye/one of Kim's ex beaus (ACS)
Starchy Deuce - Band that should be produced by D' Suede (ACS)
Narthex - (ACS)
Epileptic Declawed Hamster - That is a helluva punk band right there (ACS)
Loretta Lynch - Country singer who sang "Stand By Your Man" (ACS)
The Areolas - Covered an Eagles song in the ‘90s (ACS)
Fleece and Flannel - One of the best lesbian acoustic duos you will ever see (ACS)
3 Chainz - Rap star (ACS)
Blues Squatter - Adam's dad’s band name (ACS)
Tampon Kayak - One of Seattle's greatest, but least heard of indie bands (ACS)
Jizz Grenade (LL)
Dryer Fire - Hot indie band name (ACS)
Iranian Revolutionary Guard - Prince's backup band (ACS)
Rape Kit - Name of Adam's band from high school (ACS)
Nog Bong - A band Adam was in in high school (ACS)
Bum Blazer – Adam’s band in high school (ACS)
White Trash Kimchi - Another good band name (Bald Bryan) (ACS)
White Noise - Adam's rap name (ADS)
Promethazine - Lil Wayne's sister (ADS)
Light Rail - Great Rap name (ADS)
Danny In The Joint - Good indie band name (ACS)
Anal Cleft - One of the worst reggae singers to leave Jamaica (ACS)
Anal Cleft and the Taints - Great reggae group (ACS)
MEL-ROL - One of The Spice Girls (AOTH)
D'bris - Great Rap name (ACS)
Cisgender - A militant female rapper....for the ladies (ACS)
Krav Maga (1) - Country singing Jew (ACS)
Lynette and Paulette - Sounds like a singing duo from the 60's (RD)
Nuts In The Sink - Name of Ray’s new band (Ray) (AOTH)
SubDude - Pete Holmes' rap name (ACS)
Ray And The Enemas - Blues singer and his backup band (ADS)
Yakov Crutchfield - He has a show in Branson (ADS)
Mac 18 - Adam’s favorite rapper (RD)
Tremble Lean – Adam’s rap name (ACBSL)
Sticker Back – Worst band out of Canada ever (ACS)
Pennywise and Pound Foolish - A band from the ‘90's (RD)
Strawberry Shortcake's Neti Pot - Great band name (Twitter)
Puffy Elon Musk - Worst rapper ever (ACS)
Pantera Club at Laguna Seca (Twitter)
Savage Body Attack - New wave romantic band Ace was in when he was 19 (FBL)
Jumping Jazzy Jews - Jeff Goldblum's jazz band (ACS)
Snore Cherry - Great band name (ACS)
Pat Benatard - Pat Benatar cover band (ACS)
Rancid Nuts - Good band name (ACS)
Gary And The Knotholes - Good band name (AOTH)
Tampon Canoe - Good indie band (ACS)
One Erection - A good boy band (ACS)
Flushin' Dew - A good country duo (ACS)
Armo Jeweler - Great band name (RD)
Radon - (Lynette thinks) there a Whitesnake cover-band (ACS)
The Taste Of Ace - Great band name (ACS)
King Grape and the Raisinettes (GS)
Concord Grape and the Raisinettes (GS)
Gary Taco - Love that band (ACS)
The Silence Breakers (2) - Good punk band (Gina) (ACS)
Daddy’s Got A Dually – Good country song (ACS)
Dip Curtain - Good indie band (ACS)
Crystal Lobbyists - Sounds like a great techno band (ACS)
Narcissistic Monk -Great indie band (GS)
Sporty Prius - Worst of the Spice Girls (ACS)
Laden and Bravado - 70s duo who opened for Seals n Crofts (ACS)
The Bouncers - great band name (ACS)
Hurry up and make sense (1) - a good talking heads album (ACS)
Appropriate Sombrero - Maxapada’s next band name (Bryan) (ACS)
Flirtatious Contrail - great rap name (GS)
Jack Johnson - Guy from The White Stripes aka The Black Stripes (ACS)
Sophistry - A great Carol King album (ADS)

Song Titles

Meatless Mondays - Horrible Bangles song (Show?)
Measles and Commuter Trains - Worst Christmas song ever (ACS)
White Guys Be Ownin' Everything - Adam's next hit (ACS)
Blood On The Grout - John Cougar Mellencamp song (ACS)
No Blood In The Peckeroo - Good John Cougar song (ACS)
Mellen's Gold - A three disc box set of nothing but John Cougar Mellencamp hits (ACS)
Freaks, Retards and Jews - Not a Cher song (ACS)
Pedophile Cops - Good Cheap Trick song (ACS)
Pig Anus Soup - Favorite Rolling Stones album (Bryan) (ACS)
That Dog Don’t Mess With Olga and Natalia Don’t Spit No Mo’ - Sounds like a Mississippi Delta blues song (Bryan) (ACS)
Goggles Are For Pussies - Trace Adkins' number one hit (ACAFBSL)
Whistle While You Masturbate - The lost Disney song aka "Whistle While You Jerk" (ACS)
12 Pack & Dick's Hard - Name of Adam's new album (Gina) (ACS)
Blood and Soil - A good Smithereens song (ACS)
Pina Colada in Amsterdam - Worst Jimmy Buffet song ever (ACS)
Tough Times In The City - Great Nick Gilder song (ACS)
I've Got A Hamster In My Scrotum And He's Looking For His Keys - That's a good country song (ACS)
Gay Hitler -Great Elvis Costello song (ACS)
Tard On The Tool Shed - Good Mellenamp song (AOTH)
Condo in Redondo - Sublime song (ADS)
Animoji - Band that sung "Obsession" (ACS)
People Who Have Lost People - Worst Barbara Streisand song ever (ACS)
Tilted Heart - Great Tammy Wynette song (ADS)
Yoga wood - Great Beatles song (ACS)
Anal cleft - Song from the Sound of Music (ACS)
Morgue Mode - Sounds like a guy from Iceland who is a DJ (ACS)
I’ve got a Saturday and two friends - great country song (Gina) (ACS)
Recipe for Misery (2) - Title of the next Guns N Roses album (ACS)
Circling Back To Baldwin - Good name for a country song (ACS)
Keistered in Winnipeg - (Bald’s) favorite Willie Nelson song (ACS)
Anal ipecac - Good indie band (ACS)
2 Tits and a Pulse - Ace likes that Beck song (Bryan/Adam) (ACS)

Football Players/Athletes/Teams:

Legs Akimbo - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Feral Katz - Nose Tackle (ACS)
L' Brarian Booker - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Oscar Buzz - Linebacker (ACS)
DeVigorous Lover - Wide Receiver (ACS)
Nadir Zenith - Placekicker (ACS)
DeGluten Free - Offensive Lineman (ACS)
Tangy Mango - Fullback (ACS)
N'Farious Plan - (position?) (ACS)
Modular Holmes - (position?) (ACS)
Fortuitous Bounce - Safety (ACS)
Operatin' Thetan - (ACS) Quarterback for the Washington Redskins (ACS)
Minority Banks - HOF OLB who died tragically in a car wreck shortly after his HOF induction, a natural athlete, he played option QB in college along with being a stand out member of the track team, and in high school he was captain of the basketball team. Survived by his twin brother Majority Banks, who also played in the league, and daughter Recuser Banks who many believe was the best athlete in the family (ACS)
Coach Platitude - "Take a knee son...helmet's not a chair" (ACS)
Glendora Bevmo - Mother of DeVigorous Lover and L' Brarian Booker (different fathers, of course) (ACS)
Marshall Law - (Allison) (ACS)
Orlando Ceeworld - (position?) (ACS)
Du Vatine - (position?) (Show?)
Raja Slate - Super fast wide-out out of Marshall via LSU (AOTH)
Moe Greene - Great corner for the Washington Redskins in the 80’s (ACS)
Bronx Defenders - Sounds like a AAA hockey team (RD)
Medical Error - Slipped in the draft due to a video being released just prior (ACS)
Homeo Stasis (position?) (ACS)
Capybara - The greatest name for a major league skipper (ACS)
Ejaxico Johnson (position?) (ACS)
Radiant Barrier vs. Attic Fan - The worst WWE matchup ever to grace the stage (AOTH)
Bamboo Brick - one of the greatest mixed martial artists on the planet (AOTH)
Dexter Methorphan - He did not participate in the combines, but his coaches say he can run a 4.3 (Twitter)
Bob Jacuzzi - Great point guard for the Celtics aka "THE COOZE" (ACS)
Shame Negation - Picked to leave Clemson early and go very early in the draft this year. (ADS)
Entertainment Crackers - Another name for the Washington Generals ACS
Hardibacker - Good name for an inside backer (ACS)
Osmosis - Black dude. Forward for the Knicks who might or might not have been traded (ADS)
Onus Wilson - NFL draftee (ACS)
World Be Mine - Adam’s new basketball name (ACS)
LBJ - Worst Mexican wrestler name ever (ADS)
Cold stone Steve Austin - Can’t wrestle on hot days. Tag team partners with the Klondike twins (GS)
Cicely Tyson - Greatest Italian boxer of all time. (ADS)

Porn Star Names/Terms/Gay Code:

Spoodini - (LL)
Rocky Stucco - (AOTH)
No Can Doo - Backdoor anal queen of China (ACS)
Kristallnacht - Worst porn star name in the business (ACS)
Madison Avenue (I am Rappaport Podcast)
Hero Du Jour (I am Rappaport Podcast)
Kindle Fire (ACS)
Jackson Hole - Gay porn actor (ACS)
Col. Duke Lacrosse - Adam's porn name (LL)
Duke Circumference - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Rich Data - Gay porn actor (Show?)
Tom Foolery - Gay porn actor (Show?)
Honey Dijon - Great porn star name (Show?)
Aids Machete - One of Adam's gay porn names. "Very short stint, I only did 2 weeks with that name, so it was like 41 movies." (ACS)
Bryce Canyon - Great gay porn name (ACS)
The Italian Coastguard - A gay move. "Let me just start with basic anal, then I'll slide into the Italian Coast Guard." (ACS)
Tetanus Gym - Good gay porn name "Who you working with?" "Tetanus Gym." "Oh boy, make sure you're on top" (ACS)
Shared A Back Fence - gay slang (ACS)
Mea Culpa - Adam's porn name (ACS)
Hand Twins - Gay code (ACS)
Backscatter - Porn technology (PM)
Cajun Tree Climber - Gay code (AOTH)
Snow Blower- Gay code (AOTH)
Stump Grinder - Gay code (AOTH)
Tumbler And Coaster - Adam's gay slang replacement for "top and bottom" (PM)
Go For A Bike Ride - Gay code (ACS)
Artie Fartie - Adam's porn name from the 80's (ACS)
Road Island Ray - Ray's porn name (AOTH)
38KKK -A type of porn that comes out of Kentucky (ACS)
Tech Screw - A dirty website for geeks (ACS)
Bearvalanche - Worst gay move ever (ACS)
Wacked Off Pieces Of Cactus - Gay code for gay rough trade (ACS)
Brad Nail - Good gay porn name (ADS)
Lightning Rod - Good gay porn name for Milo Yiannopplous (ADS)
Milk Barn - Another name for Adam's bathroom sink (ACS)
Meat Thievery - That's just good gay code (ACS)
Hairy Shin - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Asian Persuasion - Sounds like a good name for a porn series Asian persuasion 16 (ACS)
Cock Holster - Good movie series, cock holster 14 (ACS)
Celebrity Du Jour - Great porn name (ACS)
Europol - Another great porn name (ACS)
Roy Wood - Adam's gay porn name (ACS)
Tank slapper - Gay slang (Gina) (ACS)
Porch Pirate - Gay term (ACS)
Mad Chuck - The world's worst name for a gay porn star (AOTH)
Sweat lodge - Gay code (ACS)
The L.A. Underground - Sounds like a gay bar (M&J)
Skin and grin - Gay slang (ACS)
Rear Admiral - The name of one of the best bars on west side (ACS)
Loaded for bear - Now a gay term (GS)
Fruit Of The Year - A porn Dave (Dameshek) starred in (ACS)
The Lebanese Comedian - Ace's favorite sex position (ACS)
Cockout - When a gay guy doesn't try very hard (ACS)
Margana Wood - Porn name (ACS)
Hugh Bris - Porn star (RD)
Matte Clear - Fondalier’s gay porn name (AOTH)
Palatial Estates – A good 80’s fake tittie porn name (AOTH)
Cokie Roberts - Great porn name (ACS)
Armenian Christmas - An unspeakable sexual act in prison. "Johnny ratted out the white supremacists to the warden, so they gave him an Armenian Christmas" (Show?)
Ride The Pine - Gay slang (ADS)
Meet Gaze - Gay slang (ACS)
Asshole Rider - Gay slang (ACS)
Cash Widedick - Ace's porn name if you can call an apple a honey crisp. (ACS)
Shanda Lear - Great stripper name (Gina) (ACS)
Fiery Cherry - Good porn name (ACS)
Jerk the wheel - Code for masturbation (ACS)
Giddyup Titties - Gina’s porn name (Gina) (ACS)
French astronaut - Great gay slang (ACS)
Mr Bandera - gay code (ACS)
Beefmato/Clamato - sounds like names of venerial diseases (ACS)
Spanner - Australian gay code (ACS)
Rocky tenure - Adam’s gay porn name (ACS)
The End Game - One of Stormy Daniels movie titles (RD)
Room for cream - Great porno title (Gina) (ACS)
Pedialyte shower - Worst sexual act ever (Sklar) (ACS)
Foot Zunki - Add-on to the Pedialyte shower (ACS)
Self rimming sink - gay slang (AOTH)
Harvey Mudd - gay bar drink where vermouth and bartender shit is mixed in a goblet (ACS)
Barney’s Beanery - ultimate name for a gay bar (ACS)
Parallel park both ways - euphemism for being bi (GS)
The Big Three - Gerago’s junk (RD)
73 - When a fat guy tries to 69 with a chubby prostitute he met at a ham radio convention(ACS)
Backlog - Stormy Daniels movie title (Bryan)(ACS)
Madison Bear - Sounds like an dating app for gay hairy dudes who are married (ACS)
Back pay - Good porn title name (ACS)

Miscellaneous People

Trajectory Hagar - High school kid "heading down the wrong path" in life (ACS)
Slick Mouth - Adam's prison name (ACS)
Rich Carless - Cool homeless guy name (ACS)
Keyless Chuck - Best homeless guy name (ACS)
Nasal Ranger - Worst superhero name ever (Gina) (ACS)
Krav Maga (2) - Good name for a sheriff (ADS)
Hubcap Annie - Horror that hangs out with Keyless Chuck (ACS)
Becky Honkington (Allison) (ACS)
Monica Chugscock - (Pronounced "Shuggscawk") (ADS)
Tyvek DuPont - Best rich guy’s name (AOTH)
Mattress - A Model/actress (ACS)
Hofmeister Kink - Nazi war criminal who's been in hiding in Brazil for the past 61 years. aka Jake Johnson (ACS)
Serpiginous - The world's wimpiest swordsman. Sir Piginous of Wussville (LL)
Chick Fil a - Great play-by-play guy for the Warriors from the 70’s (Show?)
Peri Menopausal - Best P.I. working the Chicago beat (LL)
Whiskey Dick - The neighborhood pedophile in the clown outfit (ACS)
Surge - Guy that drives for ÜBER (ACS)
Babbling Brook - Great name for a female cattle auctioneer (PM)
Terra Firma - Name of the "woman of color" that heckled Adam at a Ventura live show and was removed by force (The Ranker Podcast)
Octomom - Great Batman villain (Bryan) (ACS)
Larry The Cabinet Guy - Failed Israeli comic…"Don't get 'er done!" (ACS)
Rod Blagojevich - Joe Francis' slimy brother who sells above ground pools out of a primered van (ACS)
Cockchug Man - The gay superhero in The Village People that wears just all leather (ACS)
MEL-ROL- She's one of The Spice Girls (AOTH)
Hand Farts - A new comedian Adam had never heard of (ACS)
Juan Jeremy - The greatest international film star ever (ACS)
Bitchathane Jackson - Good name for a "sista" (ACS)
Tobar - Perfect caveman name (ACS)
Vroman - A fast moving Roman (ACS)
Korn Syrup and Fructose - Women of color who work at the strip club with Jade (stage 4) (ACS)
Fred Meyer - Lucy's neighbor (ACS)
Kimchi - The Asian flutist (ACS)
Pacoima - The mechanic from Taxi (ACS)
Dick Salt - NATO Alliance General (ACS)
Dick Salt (2) - Manger of the Mariners in the early 70’s (Bryan) (ACS)
Caramel And Fudge - Two more African-American prostitutes that lived in the apartment above Adam’s (ACS)
Peaches - The whore that lived upstairs (ACS)
F. Me Bailey - Greatest lawyer of all time (RD)
Agua Caliente - Loves that guy. He does a great John Madden (ACS)
Senior Penis - One the most dangerous drug lords to ever work (ADS)
Shill Du'Jour - Good Bond secretary name (RD)
Brexit Romero - Sounds like an International assassin (ACS)
Lugansk - That gay diver who hit his head and gave the whole Canadian team AIDS (ACS)
Leak O'rama - A Dutch action star, starred in “Sudden Death” (AOTH)
Vaginismus - Great black guy name (ADS)
Normcore - Guy that owns Westwood one (ACS)
LaTolstoy - Great black guy name (ACS)
Shapiro – Artist who is really good at anime. Died in the 60’s but was a real trendsetter (ACS)
Chuck Spears – Good name for a racist. “Hey you workin’ with Chuck Spears over at the Klan?” (ACS)
Norethindrone - DAG’s Sister (CLL)
La Tuskegee - Black airline pilot (ACS)
C-clamps – Nickname for Adam’s step-mom. “Ol’ C-clamps locked me out of the house again.” (ACS)
Harry Nilsson - (Gary thinks) he does the voices on The Simpsons (ADS)
Nutella - Great name for a crazy black woman (ACS)
Sia - The perfect person to break up with. Would be perfect if she was dating Jack (hit the road Jack) (ACS)
The Ball Catcher - What Adam used to call Ray's ass in junior high (ACFBSL)
MOAB - Matt's new nickname (Mother of All Buttholes) (AONTH)
Trip Reeb - Great name for a white guy (ACS)
Merle Horn - One of the greatest best ropers to ever come down the Pecos (ACS)
The Boring Machine - Lynette's name for Adam (ACS)
Avocado Hand - The nickname of Eric Clapton's brother (Chet) who works at a Mexican place and is charge of the guacamole (ACS)
Bagel Hand - Clapton's Jewish cousin (ACS)
Fa-Sheeya (fascia) - A heavy set woman of color that works at the DMV (ACAFBSL)
Ghrelin - New AM/PM mascot (ACS)
Krav Maga (3) - An Israeli Captain from 1946 (ACS)
Cuban Boa - Sounds like a dark skinned trannie (ACS)
Gabardine - She's a very chatty woman of color middle-aged and she'll talk your ear off. (ACS)
Guy Dudebro - Greatest name ever (AOTH)
Otto Warmbier- Simultaneously the greatest and worst beer master brewer name ever (ACS)
Leif Geragos - Greatest rocking attorney ever Viking rocker attorney (ACS)
Ernest J. Bigot - "I'm just asking....I'm just wanna know...." (ACS)
Panzanella - Cobra's full name (ACS)
Sheet Metal Nibbler - Great name for Matt the porcelain punisher (AOTH)
Big Grenadine - Sounds like a large black neighbor (ACS)
Silent gym - Next to Keyless Chuck, best homeless guy name ever (ACS)
Nuchilla - Sounds like a black vampire (Theo Von) (ACS)
D' poleon - Black Napoleon (ACS)
Luke Rockhold - Sounds like a character on The Flintstones (GS)
Sissy squat - She was hot (AOTH)
Beulah - The town horror (RD)
Ronan Farrow - One of the best wheel men in Europe (ACS)
Duke Bagg - Comedian Ian Bagg's brother (ACS)
Root Ball Grinder - A horrible term for a bitchy wife (Ruth Ballgrinder and Harriet Mulcher) (Tim Allen) (ACS)
Paul Funyun - Just a big dude who likes to have fun. Has a pink ox as a sidekick (ACS)
Page/Savage - A great lawyer team (Adam Ray) (ACS)
Ivar the Boneless - Ace’s dad’s nickname in high school. aka Jim the spineless (ACS)
Bash Worthy - Comic strip's character name/title (ACS)
Uncle Tom-bién - Mexican Uncle Tom (ACS)
Alist Poon - An Indian exchange student who has cerebral palsy (ACS)
Indignant Asswipes - Good name for an improv troupe (Gina) (ACS)
Flora in Fauna - two black chicks that work for him (ADS)
Cheap - Name of a he/she that literally went under sexual assignment surgery last month (ACS)
Heroin (1)(Pronounced Ehr-o-win by JCVD) A character in Lord Of The Rings (Bryan) (ACS)
Yersinia pestis - Ace did Celebrity Apprentice with that dude. He won that year (ADS)
Morgue Mode - Sounds like a guy from Iceland who is a DJ (ACS)
Rachel Bias - Great stripper name (ACS)
Buzz Ramjet - Aviation attorney (ACS)
Black Cherry - Stripper name Bryan (ACS)
Saffron - Sassy black woman in Meg Whitman movie (ACS)
Vibranium - a new black kid name from Black Panther (ACS)
Bird Nerd - Marvel superhero (ACS)
Merch Galore - Worst Bond secretary ever. Total sellout. Always wearing her own swag (GS)
Bathroom Goalie - New code for fat chicks sitting next to you on an airplane (ACS)
Skip Loader -Kurt Loder’s older brother (ACS)
F. Me Money - greatest attorney rapper ever (RD)

Morning Zoos/DJ's/Radio Stations

Gum and Condoms - (Show?)
Dusty Labia - Adam's handle when he used to do AM Mornings. (ACS)
Asscrack and Backsack in the morning with Sludge (LL)
Crockpots and Headphones (ACS)
Booger and Floor Wax (ACS)
Almonds and Water (ACS)
Cold Butter And Calves (ADS)
Schluter And The Drain - Schluter has a thick Austrian accent , while "The Drain" has a super low voice (AOTH)
Ace Rockolla - Just Google "Ace Rockolla Lightning round...." (LL)
Fungus and Mold (Show?)
Stupid and Petty (Show?)
Eunice and Edgar - Bubba the Love Sponge's parents (ACS)
Flip Flops and Fanny Packs (ACS)
Hairy Shin - Does a KCRE show in the weekends (ACS)
Deep Bra Grooves - Should be a Sirius XM station Channel 248, C+ and above! (ACS)
Andy and Opie - Great Radio Show (ACS)
QuietRock - Sounds like an easy listening rock station (AOTH)
Quiet Crush - A good easy listening radio station (ACS)
The Tool Box - SiriusXM took tune station aka KTOL (ACS)
Ray's Enema Antics - New podcast on Carolla Digital (Bryan)(ACS)
Doug Gets Blown While He Eats Pudding - Doug Benson's next podcast (ACS)
Cat Packer - Used to do mornings with her brother, Fudge (ACS)
Duke and Shinola - good morning show team (ACS)
Mother Trucker - Adam’s Podcast with caller Miguel (AOTH)

Places

Boobville - (LL)
Pedoph Isle aka Pedophile Island - Island where are all the pedophiles are sent to live. (Also a TV show/movie idea) (LL)
Lil' Lord Fauntleroy’s Academy for Albino Hemophiliacs - Drew's childhood school (LL)
Doesntexistizcan - Where presidential candidate Platitude's grandfather was from (ACS)
Boga Raton - The world's worst resort spot (Show?)
Meat Yard - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
Mister Fister's - Adam's all-time top name for a gay bar (ACS)
Sub-Par - Worst name for a submarine sandwich shop (Show?)
Queen Mary - Great name for a tranny bar (ACS)
NuvaRing - A German racetrack. "The new Nissan GTR turned it in 7:21, faster than the Corvette." (Show?)
Louis Pasteur Middle School (ACS)
Helm’s Deep - World's first gay bar bakery (ACS)
Kal Penn - One of the best sounding names to get an engineering degree from (ACS)
Alaska State Motto - Love fishing but I hate your kids? Alaska! (PM)
Duke University - John Wayne's college (ACS)
Planned Possumhood - Planned Parenthood in Arkansas (ACS)
Fruit Stand - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
Poo Poo City - Where Charles Fletcher Loomis' house is located (ACS)
Blood Bank - Great name for a check cashing place in the hood (ACS)
Bass Manor - Great name for a gay bar (ACS)
The Dead C - Sounds like the worst name for a lesbian bar ever (ACS)
Wood Bar - Good name for a gay bar (ACS)
Ghost Load - Ride at Calico Ghost Town (ADS)
Nasacort - Country club for Jewish folks where they play tennis at (ADS)
L.A. HOTT (1) - An 80's bar with an outdoor door seating area (ACS)
Fairy Wings - Good name for a bar on the west side (ACS)
Second Hand/First World - Store that sells rich whitey’s high end stuff (ACS)
The Lance Hunter - Perfect name for a gay bar (Dumb People Town)
Pervert Park - Theo Vaughn grew up there (ACS)
Big Sur - Great name for a big and tall shop (Show?)
Studio Centric - Sounds like a Utopia. Between Valley Village and Sherman Oaks (AOTH)
Asstard - Thor came from that planet (ACS)
Grand Entrance - Great name for a gay bar (AOTH)
Thermopolis - Where the Bun Boy is (ACS)
The Turkish Embassy - Gay bar (ACS)
Low Tide - Gay code for boner in the rear view mirror (ACS)
Corumption - On the way to Vegas, where Heidi Fleiss lives with her macaws (ACS)
C.C. Fichens - Sounds like a pretzel stand (Gina) (ACS)
Timpani Barn - where to get timpani to go, has three big Mexicans in the kitchen (ACS)
Heroin (2)(Pronounced Ehr-o-win by JCVD) The health food store in Venice (ACS)
Pocket Passers - Next to Mister Fister’s (Gina) (ACS)
The Mexican Faire - Worst fair ever (ACS)
Hanoi Hospice - Only place worse than the Hanoi Hilton (ACS)
Kaleblazer- Gay juice bar (ACS)
Hot Dog Cannon - good name for a bar next to The Abbey (ACS)
Dyskeratosis - where Vinnie lives, lots of Greek folks, a family oriented community (ACS)
Kind of, Italy - Where Ace’s family is from. Where he gets his kinky hair. (ADS)

Miscellaneous

Cleaning The Pink Turtle - Bryan's name for pleasuring oneself (ACS)
Analingus - A new type of breath mint (LL)
The Milk Of Arthritic Goats - A rabbi's curse: "May you suckle at the teet of the milk of arthritic goat!!!" (ACS)
Carbon Dating - A black dating website (ACS)
RU486 - Vanity plate for a guy who runs an abortion clinic (ADS)
Jet Green - Amsterdam's Airlines (ACS)
Stromer, Oldhafer and Carolla - World's worst law firm (AOTH)
Ira Carolla - Sounds like an affliction "Oh my Ira Carolla's acting up" (ACS)
Sawjay - Sounds French...gay word for sausage. "I was strokin' this dude’s sawjay" (ACS)
Smokeless Cigarette - Name for Dr. Drew's honker after his prostate surgery (ADS)
El Niño - Name of "Sinn" strip club DJ's cock (ACS)
Blue Man - Crazy hairdresser's macaw who doesn't judge (PM)
Lucia - An Italian moped (ACS)
American Jewish World Service - A van that's begging to be shot at (ACS)
E-aye? - Canadian version of EBay (ACS)
Sweatpants Lesbian - What Adam would be. An in-between lesbian. Not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke (ACS)
SuckStrong - Bill Clinton's bracelet (ACS)
Gaybus - Gay and bogus (ACS)
Flappy Bird - The most offensive name for the vagina (ACS)
G8 (Summit) - The Pontiac that Oprah gave away on her show (ACS)
Oracle A The Delphi - Big new startup company (ADS)
Crewkakke - A type of sweater (ACS)
The Flying Dutchman - Great name for an Amsterdam airlines (ACS)
Cleaning My Chain - Euphemism for beating off (ACS)
Awesome Town - A gathering of three or more polar bears (ACS)
Avocado - The Greek word for nut sack (ACS)
Doucherette - A gum/patch that douchebags chew/use (ACS)
Urban Milling -Black guys standing around (AOTH)
Synesthesia - When you eat your own hair (ACS)
Tuck Rule - When a guy pretends he's a chick and stands in front of the mirror (ACS)
My #2 Pencil Is Out Of Lead - Another term for erectile dysfunction (ACS)
Float A Bond - When a politician farts (RD)
Vaginismus - black people's holiday, accompanied with a lot of ceremonial garb (ADS)
Vaseline and Gauze - Elizabeth Taylor's new scent (ACS)
Jewber - A drunk on a 10-speed (ACS)
Chickpea - What Gina does when we camp (ACS)
Oscar Squad (2) - Bad gay code (ACS)
Airbus - Worst name for an aircraft. Sounds like “air donkey” (AOTH)
Shailene Woodley - Sounds like the most fantastical verb/adverb combo. “I want to Shailene Woodley through a field of poppies with you” (Gina) (Twitter)
Asshole Rider (2) - Worst piece of exercise equipment Vinnie’s ever endorsed (ACS)
Diario La Prensa - Stealer of the jersey in Spanish (ACS)
The Sicilian Fly Swatter - Sounds like a WWF move (Gina) (ACS)
Jellyfish - Sounds like something your grandpa would buy for you at the mall (ACS)
Fruit Fly - More politically correct term for fag hag (Show?)
Jewgling - When a Jew "Googles" their symptoms (ACS)
Tavares - David Wild's boner medicine (ACS)
Jew -Over - A mulligan from a barmitzva. "Uh, I misread that...can I get a Jew-over?" (ACS)
Ossified - That's a Don King word, there (ACS)
Zero for Cecil - Worst charity ever (Bald Bryan) (ACS)
A++ - A bra that Gina will never see (ACS)
Joycelyn - A good name for Curly from the Three Stooges to say (ACS)
Phallisee - Latin for "to see the penis" (ADS)
Coffee Nap - Euphemism for pooping in your pants (ACS)
USS Monitor - Doesn't sound like a ship of war, sounds like a night nurse (ACS)
Dotard - A skirt a man wears (ACS)
Wilding- Something derogatory that takes place in public pools in certain counties (ACS)
Caveat - Latin for shitting on Adam's point (ADS)
Festiva - Sounds like a boner medicine (ACS)
Depeche Mode - French for “who dealt it?” (ADS)
Beefy Clutch – The purse Gina thought Lady Gaga took to the Emmy’s (ACS)
Sig Sauer - Something you would yell at Oktoberfest before downing a stiff stein of stout (ACS)
Jeans day – Sounds like the special day for your special need son Gene, to raise money (ACS)
Wilding - What takes place in public pools in certain counties (GS)
4F - Can’t/won’t be eligible for the draft (ACS)
Groupie - a kind of fish (ACS)
The African chick - Horrible name for a boat (ACS)
Inclusion rider - Snowboard for retarded kids (ACS)
The Urethra - Bad name for a car (ACS)
Mercury retrograde - when you take your index finger and shove it under your sack before you blow, and you belch it up later (ACS)
UEFA - Transsexuals playing soccer with a balled up maxi pad (GS)
Missed Connections- The worst airline ever (ACS)
Carollo - Sounds like a Tool you’d use rarely (ACS)
Brembo - that Mexican food company that makes that bread (Matt) (ACS)
Preemptive gay strike - Worst video game ever (ADS)
Futon - Chinese for bear trap (ACS)
Sexual Battery - Batteries especially made for sexual devices. Somewhere between AA and C (ACS)

Food/Drinks

Deer Bits - A venison cereal. Made of frosted deer flakes (Show?)
Coco Chanel - Nestlé’s newest coffee flavor (ACS)
Honey Dicks - Best cereal name ever (ACS)
Dawson's Beard - A pudding flavor Ace saw at Whole Foods (ACS)
Mighty Mutts - Worst breakfast cereal ever (ADS)
Chillax - A cinnamon based drink from "Hector's" country (ACS)
Black Dick - An English desert (ACS)
Tardy Digression - Sounds like a finger food..."would you like another tardy digression?" "No, I'm saving room for the main meal" (IFYWABC)
Double Bird Strike - Mixed drink created by Ace and Teresa. Made with Grey Goose, Wild Turkey, a splash of Canadian Club, and a splash of Hudson River water (ACS)
GAYtorade - A sports drink for gay people, because they lose essential body fluids (ACS)
University of Illinois At Urbana Champaign - Sounds like a carbonated drink for black people (ACS)
Flinch Fuck - Part of a nutritious breakfast, and a healthy relationship (ADS)
Phantom Punch - Something Bill Cosby gave his lady friends (ACS)
Pansy Sauce - Goes good with some shrimp (ADS)
Tilted Pillar - Kick ass IPA (AOTH)
Shaver - A good name for a miniature pastrami sandwich (Cousin Sal Show)
GPA - Something they add to children's cereal (ACS)
Stellwell's - A new low fat snack cracker (ACS)
Conchata Ferrell - A great cheese/unwanted cat (ACS)
Poopwell's - One of the worst snacks Nabisco has ever put their name on (ACS)
Belldini – Latest Taco Bell offering (ACS)
Fuzzy Zoeller – Zima with a jigger of peach schnapps (ACS)
Millennial Malaise - A sweet honey dipping sauce (ADS)
Jelani Cobb - Sounds like an Indian dish (Gina) (ACS)
Air Doodle - The very worst Super Bowl snack on the planet (ACS)
Faygala - Jewish sports drink (ACS)
Stroke Cane - Sounds like some sugary treat, mixed with a reach around (ACS)
The Silence Breakers (2) - good name for a mint (ACS)
Lesbian Squirt - Sponsor of the Dinah Shore Classic (ACS)
Son of Goose - Worst vodka ever. Comes in a plastic squeeze bottle (ACS)
Orange Hitler - Worst Hi-C flavor ever (ACS)

TV Shows/Movies

Cunt du' Jour - A great Bond villain name (ACS)
Coffee and Donuts - (Charlie Coffee III and Johnny Donetti) Johnny's a tough street wise cop whose jive talking and plays by his own rules and Charlie's super uptight (LL)
Pedoph Isle (aka) Pedophile Island - All pedophiles are sent to live on an isolated island, and a 747 full of Boy Scouts crash lands there and they have to fight to survive (Also a place) (ACS)
Anus and Eyeball - Buddy cop TV show duo (ACS)
Pussy Pioneer - John Candy's last movie (ACS)
Red Velvet - Made up movie character Clown played by Paul Giamatti. "Was secret service, and someone died on his watch. Now he's takin to clownin'." Wears a red velvet clown outfit. (ACS)
Destination Of The Semen - (Adam Ray) A movie Harrison Ford passed on twice (ACS)
Gay Eye - Movie where Adam plays Buddy McKlan, a racist homophobic mechanic who is blinded in a freak hot transmission fluid accident. He gets the donor eyes from a gay guy who perished on a moped accident in Antigua. Co-starring Larry the Cable Guy as his best friend. (Co-written by Bryan Cranston) (ACS)
Grinders - Sitcom where Jon Gruden moves in with Johnny Manziel (ACS)
Squishy Red River - Movie that started John Wayne (Show?)
Gusset And Cable - Perfect Cop buddy duo team (AOTH)
Just One Of The Gays - Stars Shia LaBeouf (ACS)
Hard Impact - Sounds like a Van Damme movie from the 90's (ACS)
Hammer Pants And Ice - Worst cop detective duo from the 80's (ACS)
Living With The Kilowatts - Adam's new animated series where they just leave toaster ovens on all day (ACS)
Keep Calm And Rape A Lot - Worst Monty Python film ever (ACS)
Medical Mishaps - New show Dave Coulier and Tawny Kitaen could host (ACS)
Roaming With Bison - Another great Bill Murray movie (ACS)
Gainesville Florida Financial Planner - Sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit (ACS)
Blame the Bee Gees - Adam's next documentary (ACS)
Adam Knees Your Dad In The Nuts - Adam's new game show (ACS)
Navigeddon - Terrorists take over all of the GPS systems of cars, and send them careening into the Grand Canyon (ACS)
Rings Of Honor - Terrorists take over Olympic training facility in Colorado Springs, and the athletes have to use their individual skills to escape. (Cameo by Randy Couture as the salty old coach) (ACS)
Endless Time/Ample Time For Backup - Adam's new Netflix series (ACS)
Tarred n' Feathered - Buddy flick starring a retarded guy and an Indian chief (Show?)
Mr. Will Doo And Can Doo - PSA Motivational cartoon bathroom characters Will Doo (Played by Will Arnette) and Can Doo is shaped like a toilet. Filmed in kitschy Clutch Cargo style animation (ADS)
Robot Lawyer - Great Phil Hartman bit (ACS)
Umpire News Network - Adam's channel with umpires reporting. Unbiased reporting (ACS)
Sofa Tard - New CW show coming soon (Matt) (AOTH)
Junior Fantasy Island - Show where kids of reckless parents are shipped off to live with Bill Cosby and Felicia Rashad (ADS)
2 And A Half Denali's - Hasn't been same since Sheen left (ACS)
So Kanye - Sitcom from the 90's (ACS)
Ridicuopothy - Sounds like a Mike Judge movie (ADS)
Master Buck - One of John Candy's most controversial movies (ACS)
LA HOTT (1) - An 80’s bar with an outdoor door seating area (ACS)
Mother Hitler - Coming to TNT. Starring Patrick Swayze's bother, Don (ACS)
Sink and Bounce - Movie about roller boogie from the 80's, starred Lil' Bow Wow (ACS)
The Debs - A made up CW network show where you just put all the hot chicks in Hollywood (ACS)
The Origin Story Of AIDS - Worst Marvel movie ever (Bryan)(ACS)
Everybody Hates Vinnie - Horrible sitcom (ACS)
Chick Clan - Good movie title (ACS)
Condo in Redondo - Best movie I ever did (ADS)
Red Lobsteria - New show Dr. Drew was talking about where African Americans form their own country (ACS)
Earthquake rehab - Reality show Dr. drew seismic expert and a civil engineer come together (Rainn Wilson) (ACS)
Rooster Jones - Great John Wayne movie. Super Fly meets True Grit (ACS)
Ernest Bigot goes to..... (ACS)
Nickels On The Job - First and only Jewish gum shoe on the job. ABC, Friday nights, 10:00 p.m. (ADS)
Solicitor General - Great Danny Kaye movie (RD)
Disjointed - Lorena Bobbitt biopic (ADS)
Habib and Company - Horrible children's show (MS)
Bobby's Room - Howie Mandel animated project from the 90's (ACS)
Page/Savage - Great cop duo show from the ‘80’s (Adam Ray) (ACS)
Paper Asshole - Great Tatum O’Neal film (ACS)
L.A. HOTT (2) - Failed Steven Bochco series pilot (ACS)
Pieces Of String Too Small To Use - Lena Dunham film from the late 90’s (ACS)
Oscar Squad - New Marvel Movie (Gina) (ACS)
Cortron/Melamine - Transformers (Gina) (ACS)
Anoscope - Worst way to see a movie (ADS)
Practical Rapist - New SNL character (Gina) (ACS)
Superfoot - Worst Marvel movie ever (Bryan) (ACS)
Celebrity Food Chain - Would be a great show (Jeff Cesario) (ACS)
Backsack and Anus - Worst cop duo ever (RS)
Korean moyle - ABC’s next sitcom (Jeff) ACS
Nanny Huntin ‘with Ted Nugent - Great reality show I’d watch (ACS)
Progressive pope - New sitcom (Gina) ACS
Nick Mancuso: Construction Fluffer - New TV Show (AONT)
Rush Blitzer - Adam’s character from his movie, “Snapper” (BSR)
The Baldwin’s and Beyond -Great reality show (RD)
The Rogue Deuce - The next Star Wars movie (ADS)
Mr. Goodbar To The Rescue - Ace loves that movie (ACS)
Wrestling Squatters - New show on YouTube Red starring Eric Stromer (AOTH)

Books/Coffee Table Books

Dade County Black Prom, 1985 (ACS)
Here Are The Pajamas We Picture You In (ACS)
Three Shitty Homes, One Washing Machine, Zero Dryers - Title of Adam's new book (Ray) (AOTH)
Chapstick And Batteries - Title of Adam's next bestselling book (ACS)
Who The Fuck Put Their Sombrero on My Keys? – Title of Adam’s next book (ACS)
Cunt With A Grunt - Adam's favorite Dr. Seuss book (PM)
You'll Never See A Cockroach Jog (PM)
Kemo Skinny Calves - Adam's new children's book (ADS)
You're Dyslexic And I'm Dumb - Adam and John Popper's collaborative next book (ACS)
I Get It If You’re GWAR - Adam's next book (ACS)
Bulk Magazine - Costco magazine that Jimmy Kimmell graced the cover of twice (ACS)
Do You Have To Take Your Top Off To Dye Your Pubes, Drew? (LL)
Glamping With Moriah - Adam's new book (ACS)
From The Mouths of Babes (Hot Chicks Not Babies) (ACS)
(The) Sweet Spot - Adam's next book (Bryan) (ACS)
I Thought Things Would Be Better When I Was Rich (ACS)
Radio Station Kitchen (ACS)
Post-it Notes In Radio Station Kitchens (ACS)
Comedy Club Green Rooms And The Sofas That Were Not Made For Them (ACS)
Jethro, the Mexican Jew - A great children's book (Gina) (ACS)
Professor and the Construction Worker -The worst children's book ever (ACS)
Willie and the Weed - Good name for a children's book (ACS)
What Black People Think White People Complain About (ACS)
Everyone Eventually Becomes The Man (ACS)
Recipe for Misery (1) - Name Of Adam’s next book (ACS)
In Defense Of Black Face - Adam’s next book (ACS)
Hurry Up And Make Sense (2) - Biography title of the Talking Heads (ACS)

Native American Names

Chief Thunderbear (LL)
Dances With Cocks (ACS)
Dances With Lipstick (ACS)
Ol' Urethra Windows (ACS)
Oxnard - Indian name meaning the balls of a bull (ACS)

V/P Names

Absorbent Rag - Good name for T's V (ACS)
Hurt Locker - Another name for T's V (ACS)
Judge's Mansion - Another name for T's G
Cmarket.com - Another name for T's V (ACS)
City of Industry - Another name for T's V (ACS)
Dutch Mook - Another name for T's V (ACS)s V
No Safe Spaces - Great name for T's V (ACS)
Hobo Stove - Another name for A's V (ACS)
Sausage Grinder - Another name for A's V (ACS)
Dixville Notch - Another name for G's V (ACS)
Snake River Canyon - Another name for G's V (ACS)
Dakota Access Pipeline - Another name for G's V (ACS)
The Holidome - Another name for G’s V (ACS)
Discovery Bay - Great name for G's V (ACS)
B.O. Box - Great name for G's V (ACS)
Sea bag - Good name for G's V (ACS)
El Portal - Great name for G's V (ACS)
Harry Belafonte - Adam's name for his junk, if he were a woman (Show?)
Top Gear - Another name for Adam’s junk (ACS)
El Gordo/King Taco - Good name for G’s V (ACS)
Port of Karachi - Good name for G’s V (ACS)
submitted by Texas1971 to AdamCarolla [link] [comments]


2018.07.25 03:00 FGFM Everyblock 7/24

announcements/jul24--6274893/
announcements/jul24-2600-block-w-winona-burgularly-5187561/
announcements/jul24-_becky-request-witchcraft-pimp-her-but-witches-don-6992518/
announcements/jul24-active-pitbull-puppy-needs-home-5188190/
announcements/jul24-adopt-corner-like-say-hamilton-and-pratt-and-5188163/
announcements/jul24-alderman-quinn-and-staff-5187906/
announcements/jul24-anti-violence-vigil-4132225/
announcements/jul24-any-one-hearing-6274413/
announcements/jul24-anyone-know-happend-laporte-and-cuyler-near-las-7622463/
announcements/jul24-archery-class-7622508/
announcements/jul24-att-u-verse-5187386/
announcements/jul24-attack-pine-grove-and-w-sheridan-5184733/
announcements/jul24-basement-flooding-4130656/
announcements/jul24-bbq-coming-andersonville-6274827/
announcements/jul24-big-storm-morning-5187385/
announcements/jul24-bike-riders-school-5187293/
announcements/jul24-bike-riding-down-wrong-way-way-street-5187870/
announcements/jul24-black-and-white-cat-newgard-near-pratt-6992666/
announcements/jul24-black-dog-found-5187716/
announcements/jul24-blue-bin-recycling-4130485/
announcements/jul24-cab-recommendations-6274844/
announcements/jul24-central-and-addison-blocked-off-police-6992276/
announcements/jul24-charmers-cafe-night-open-mic-8194910/
announcements/jul24-cheap-rain-barrel-5187895/
announcements/jul24-chicago-critical-mass-ride-5187862/
announcements/jul24-child-luring-abduction-attempt-hitch-school-june-27-4130146/
announcements/jul24-cleaning-company-reccomendation-5187955/
announcements/jul24-cleaning-person-needed-6992232/
announcements/jul24-common-cup-5187527/
announcements/jul24-cook-county-property-assessment-5187672/
announcements/jul24-couch-sale-125-obo-6274859/
announcements/jul24-crime-around-5000-block-n-sheridan-5187899/
announcements/jul24-daddy-iama-kyros-c-60660gal-stop-asking-witccraft-6992209/
announcements/jul24-delivery-now-available-jennys-gourmet-howard-street-4130802/
announcements/jul24-demolition-home-3759-w-68th-pl-5187350/
announcements/jul24-dog-found-loose-and-afraid-storm-today-5187859/
announcements/jul24-down-their-luck-people-6992493/
announcements/jul24-drywall-tapers-mudders-6274818/
announcements/jul24-eb-is-toast-6992280/
announcements/jul24-edison-park-fest-6992620/
announcements/jul24-electrician-recommendation-6992208/
announcements/jul24-fear-neighborhood-has-lost-its-struggle-taggers-5187349/
announcements/jul24-fireworks-gunshots-6274546/
announcements/jul24-for-ladies-5187753/
announcements/jul24-for-sale-6274843/
announcements/jul24-forever-yogurt-5187907/
announcements/jul24-found-chocolate-lab-logan-square-5188188/
announcements/jul24-found-kitten-goes-new-home-5187318/
announcements/jul24-found-small-domesticated-bird-4130631/
announcements/jul24-gang-drug-dealing-under-camera-398-7-23-4130457/
announcements/jul24-good-morning-eb-neighbors-6992138/
announcements/jul24-graffiti-5187384/
announcements/jul24-graffiti-report-and-alternate-311-4131415/
announcements/jul24-gray-white-cat-green-eyes-stray-lost-5187553/
announcements/jul24-hearing-proposed-liquor-store-5636-n-milwaukee-deferred-6274833/
announcements/jul24-helicopters-6992419/
announcements/jul24-help-auto-repair-needed-5188251/
announcements/jul24-help-bring-books-and-material-rogers-park-library-5188271/
announcements/jul24-help-explain-5188164/
announcements/jul24-hot-air-balloon-tour-5187579/
announcements/jul24-house-nw-corner-62nd-and-natchez-5187413/
announcements/jul24-in-ground-sprinkler-5187601/
announcements/jul24-in-home-piano-lessons-6274884/
announcements/jul24-in-the-kingdom-of-the-blind-the-1-6992390/
announcements/jul24-irving-park-streetscape-5187418/
announcements/jul24-is-story-because-location-5187751/
announcements/jul24-issue-leasing-agency-landlord-5188159/
announcements/jul24-july-25-mosquito-spraying-39th-ward-5187873/
announcements/jul24-just-reminder-awesome-garage-sale-weekend-2854-n-6992347/
announcements/jul24-kentucky-fried-chicken-fullerton-7622448/
announcements/jul24-la-pane-closed-until-further-notice-6992594/
announcements/jul24-lawrence-house-article-photos-7622438/
announcements/jul24-local-running-club-6992348/
announcements/jul24-looking-event-space-rental-kitchen-8194967/
announcements/jul24-looking-printer-5187292/
announcements/jul24-looking-zumba-instructor-volunteer-5187719/
announcements/jul24-lost-calico-cat-rescued-family-lincoln-park-4132287/
announcements/jul24-lost-dog-white-and-brindle-male-pitbull-friendly-3255592/
announcements/jul24-lost-quaker-parrot-5187348/
announcements/jul24-lou-malnities-8193662/
announcements/jul24-madison-and-wabash-5187294/
announcements/jul24-moped-parking-storage-6274892/
announcements/jul24-mother-lode-crime-statistics-2001-present-5187321/
announcements/jul24-moving-companies-5187673/
announcements/jul24-moving-lake-view-5187958/
announcements/jul24-nanny-6992421/
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announcements/jul24-need-parking-space-5187894/
announcements/jul24-new-parking-restrictions-around-shakespeare-mozart-and-richmond-5188113/
announcements/jul24-no-parking-damen-wilson-6274881/
announcements/jul24-non-stop-police-fire-sirens-wrigleyvilly-4130145/
announcements/jul24-other-gay-lesbian-couples-5187478/
announcements/jul24-outdoor-movie-night-toy-story-3-5188161/
announcements/jul24-parking-diversey-and-broadway-6992593/
announcements/jul24-pedicab-accident-sunday-night-6992596/
announcements/jul24-pest-control-5184893/
announcements/jul24-police-ambulance-last-night-morning-3600-block-hamilton-4130257/
announcements/jul24-recommendation-small-tuckpointing-brick-building-job-5187526/
announcements/jul24-recycling-5187442/
announcements/jul24-retirees-cheer-pension-ruling-despite-looming-tax-hikes-6992687/
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announcements/jul24-scooters-5187748/
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announcements/jul24-spamalert-converts-to-witchcraft-pledges-her-blood-to-6992398/
announcements/jul24-statuesque-women-rogers-park-6992346/
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announcements/jul24-stolen-bsa-motorcycle-6992253/
announcements/jul24-stolen-green-jeep-wrangler-5188160/
announcements/jul24-stolen-vehicle-bridgeport-5187801/
announcements/jul24-street-cleaning-4131052/
announcements/jul24-street-closure-5187954/
announcements/jul24-street-lights-out-again-7622414/
announcements/jul24-tagging-4130800/
announcements/jul24-tempers-can-flare-this-heat-or-anytime-5187477/
announcements/jul24-thank-you-rescuers-kitten-moffatt-last-winter-4131039/
announcements/jul24-thanks-button-6992693/
announcements/jul24-thanks-helping-christ-witch-go-viral-with-yo-6992642/
announcements/jul24-thanks-to-everyone-who-turned-out-last-night-6274525/
announcements/jul24-the-cure-derelict-construction-sites-illegal-dumping-5188189/
announcements/jul24-thinking-switching-gyms-5188136/
announcements/jul24-tonights-storm-7622512/
announcements/jul24-vendors-wanted-8194894/
announcements/jul24-water-main-work-8195025/
announcements/jul24-water-outage-5187148/
announcements/jul24-water-rescue-granville-and-sheridan-5188110/
announcements/jul24-what-happened-last-night-4130487/
announcements/jul24-whats-going-six-corners-8194921/
announcements/jul24-whats-up-dunbar-vocational-5188327/
announcements/jul24-where-can-recycle-batteries-north-side-5187419/
announcements/jul24-wicker-park-storm-damage-blocked-streets-5187549/
announcements/jul24-witchcraft-shall-blow-pot-smoke-the-devil-when-6992597/
announcements/jul24-work-van-broken-into-foster-elston-5187447/
announcements/jul24-zumba-5187932/
city-services/jul24-50th-ward-town-hall-meeting-6992357/
city-services/jul24-fire-hydrant-open-day-4-7622441/
city-services/jul24-low-water-pressure-7622419/
city-services/jul24-trash-streets-6274856/
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crime-posts/jul24-bloody-trail-armitage-sidewalk-any-idea-7622439/
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crime-posts/jul24-please-help-7622454/
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crime-posts/jul24-shots-fired-3-30-am-near-jacob-park-6992275/
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crime/jul24-aggravated-assault-knife-cutting-instrument-6292089/
crime/jul24-motor-vehicle-theft-truck-bus-motor-home-5210027/
crime/jul24-narcotics-manufacturing-delivery-cannabis-over-10-grams-5213136/
crime/jul24-simple-battery-domestic-battery-simple-7011315/
crime/jul24-theft-300-and-under-4151582/
crime/jul24-weapons-violation-unlawful-possession-handgun-3280411/
family/jul24-dermatologist-recommendations-8194946/
family/jul24-in-home-daycare-6274861/
family/jul24-in-need-babysitter-6274811/
family/jul24-pediatric-dentist-recommendation-6274825/
food-inspections/jul24-el-jardin-mexican-american-food-passed-inspection-8199089/
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housing/jul24-free-boxes-and-packing-paper-6274672/
housing/jul24-internet-services-area-8195029/
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housing/jul24-squatter-6992284/
housing/jul24-two-young-medical-students-6274886/
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kindness/jul24-bike-shop-single-speed-selection-6992353/
kindness/jul24-bucktown-arts-fest-needs-volunteers-8195000/
kindness/jul24-do-concrete-guys-still-exist-7622423/
kindness/jul24-dog-found-lawrence-and-pulaski-area-6992429/
kindness/jul24-early-morning-fireworks-explosion-8194899/
kindness/jul24-found-dog-lawrence-pulaski-6992422/
kindness/jul24-good-morning-and-happy-monday-everyone-8194876/
kindness/jul24-gunshots-morning-around-3am-6992296/
kindness/jul24-high-crime-and-cop-neighborhoods-tops-concealed-carry-6992397/
kindness/jul24-how-do-you-get-trees-trims-lawns-empty-8194908/
kindness/jul24-is-there-woodlawn-organization-8194909/
kindness/jul24-lets-welcome-new-business-neighborhood-6992433/
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kindness/jul24-looking-donate-my-old-phone-womens-shelter-immigrant-8194887/
kindness/jul24-looking-job-8194874/
kindness/jul24-looking-steel-deck-contractors-6274883/
kindness/jul24-lost-cat-budlong-woods-near-foster-and-lincoln-6992595/
kindness/jul24-lost-keys-this-am-7-24-2014-6274644/
kindness/jul24-meir-ezra-announces-business-coaching-with-guaranteed-results-6992688/
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kindness/jul24-paying-divvy-and-why-chicago-broke-6992423/
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neighbor-events/jul24-thorndale-positive-loitering-5172496/
neighbor-events/jul24-walmart-workers-need-raise-5174691/
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news-articles/jul24-1050-w-wilson-gains-support-block-club-for-6992152/
news-articles/jul24-3-men-wounded-bronzeville-logan-square-shootings-6992177/
news-articles/jul24-4-dead-13-wounded-overnight-4130478/
news-articles/jul24-andersonville-man-charged-in-pot-growing-operation-7622436/
news-articles/jul24-archbishop-cupich-says-global-warming-moral-issue-catholics-6992558/
news-articles/jul24-austin-homicides-climb-20-so-far-year-5187372/
news-articles/jul24-bicyclists-knocked-over-robbed-on-606-trail-police-8193655/
news-articles/jul24-boy-4-dies-in-bensenville-house-fire-6274736/
news-articles/jul24-chicago-man-charged-in-deadly-hit-run-accident-7622461/
news-articles/jul24-chicago-plastic-bag-ban-starts-next-week-whats-6992184/
news-articles/jul24-citytarget-state-street-opens-this-week-5187749/
news-articles/jul24-coffee-switch-clark-and-lawrence-8194969/
news-articles/jul24-community-meeting-regarding-proposed-fine-wine-shop-broadway-5187374/
news-articles/jul24-cta-adds-the-bagelers-local-food-options-train-6992185/
news-articles/jul24-cyclists-attacked-the-606-8194873/
news-articles/jul24-does-edgewater-need-four-mattress-stores-within-mile-6997313/
news-articles/jul24-drink-up-with-these-delicious-national-tequila-day-8194957/
news-articles/jul24-fabio-vivianis-bar-siena-spinning-j-bakery-humboldt-6992302/
news-articles/jul24-flooding-on-the-north-branch-trail-get-used-8194865/
news-articles/jul24-former-lakeshore-athletic-club-become-residential-complex-5189971/
news-articles/jul24-get-your-french-fix-6992473/
news-articles/jul24-laundromat-coming-to-wilson-magnolia-strip-mall-7620959/
news-articles/jul24-logan-square-fitness-opens-after-delay-6274469/
news-articles/jul24-lyft-driver-kidnapped-zip-tied-and-raped-passenger-8194862/
news-articles/jul24-man-charged-growing-pot-andersonville-home-7622403/
news-articles/jul24-man-missing-little-village-since-wednesday-6992559/
news-articles/jul24-man-shot-two-blocks-south-of-chicago-police-6992173/
news-articles/jul24-nascar-to-hold-first-ever-interactive-fan-event-5187451/
news-articles/jul24-new-ehs-exhibit-showcases-edgewaters-automotive-glory-days-6279664/
news-articles/jul24-new-flyover-free-western-avenue-corridor-is-mixed-8195019/
news-articles/jul24-permanent-records-leaving-west-town-for-l-a-8194981/
news-articles/jul24-person-interest-questioned-fatal-shooting-11-year-old-6274386/
news-articles/jul24-pinwheel-records-opens-its-doors-pilsen-6992238/
news-articles/jul24-police-warn-residents-after-string-606-trail-robberies-8193658/
news-articles/jul24-south-side-creates-its-own-museum-campus-6274594/
news-articles/jul24-uptown-hotel-meant-for-vulnerable-tenants-will-be-8195013/
pets/jul24-found-dog-8194947/
pets/jul24-found-dog-picture-tim-w-7733914448-6274744/
pets/jul24-found-dog-pulaski-and-lawrence-6992431/
pets/jul24-found-lost-dog-might-puppy-german-shepard-chiwawa-6274596/
pets/jul24-found-one-rooster-6274855/
pets/jul24-found-two-golden-retrievers-looking-their-owners-7622516/
pets/jul24-handy-man-wanted-clean-gutters-6274615/
pets/jul24-missing-dogs-6992297/
politics/jul24-common-sense-gun-laws-6992207/
politics/jul24-if-guilty-long-should-irresponsible-man-majority-age-6274600/
politics/jul24-the-cook-county-criminal-justice-system-areas-biggest-6992298/
submitted by FGFM to historyofeveryblock [link] [comments]


2018.04.16 19:54 tigersamurai Rise 7 & SHIMMER 101-104 Notes

Hello! I attended the full weekend and thought some may enjoy these notes along with results. It's a lot, but I know I missed some stuff, too. Feel free to add or comment. Also got to record some interviews for the King of Pro Wrestling podcast. I'll post links when they're available. One is with Shotzi Blackheart, the other with Pat Laprade.
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RISE 7: Sensation Showed up early to the sold out Berwyn Eagles club (most tickets ever sold to a women’s wrestling event). Knew ahead of time that Bull Nakano was unable to attend due to travel issues… yes, blame the current government… That said, Gail Kim was a damn good addition in her stead. Got to chat with one my faves, Shotzi Blackheart, right away and see some familiar faces. Pre-show matches
Jenna Von Muscles def Laynie Price - solid opening contest for these seminar attendees. Both could get more action in the future
Tesha Price def Robyn Reed - Tesha has a great look, moves really well in the ring, nice solid moves, and sells like she’s been doing this for a lot longer than a year or so.
Main Card
Mia Yim & Kay Lee Ray def Undeniably Impressive (Indi Hartwell & Tessa Blanchard) - good match, but Mia was definitely wrestling a little slower and could be seen limping a bit. Still, it’s fantastic to see her back from injury and I’m sure she’ll get her groove back in no time. She certainly doesn’t lack for charisma. Kay Lee Ray is great. He strikes a solid, holds are snug, and flying is some of the best around. Tessa is Tessa. Undeniable, indeed. It’s going to get harder and harder for her to stay a hell, though. The fans play along when she heels it up, but she’s getting more and more cheers even when she mouths off to the crowd. She’s still one of the best, though, and it’s only a matter of time before she finds herself in a larger spotlight. Indi… Oh Indi. I want to like her. She looks like a million bucks and has a fantastic presence, but she’s just sloppy in the ring. Stiff and looks bad taking moves and her big boot is unremarkable… Of course, Kay Lee was the one that busted Tessa’s chin open with a kick, so what do I know. Hartwell ate the pin with a double team Gory Bomb/Pedigree combo
Zoe Lucas won her First Annual Zoe Lucas Global Gauntlet of True Pro Wrestling Excellence… Seriously, Zoe is great. She took out FaceBrooke and then Valentina Loca came out with Thunder Rosa (who got a big reaction). Zoe has some great moves based around her legs and flexibility. FaceBrooke has a interesting gimmick (emoji tights & Facebook “like” mask) and she’s a taller wrestler and looks good in the ring. Would’ve loved to see Rosa vs Lucas one on one as Loca just doesn’t look good in the ring. She’s young and is clearly trying, but when you see how smooth someone like Lucas is and Thunder Rosa who is just fantastic in the ring, it’s jarring to see Loca in there with them. Lucas got the win by pinning Loca after pushing Rosa out of the ring.
Ray Lyn & Karen Q def Nicole Savoy & Ariel Monroe - good match. All 4 can go, but they played up the comedy quite a bit. Still some great spots. Lots of nice looking corner strikes from Karen and Ariel and beautiful suplexes from Nicole. Part of Karen & Ray Lyn’s gimmick is they don’t get along and the crowd cheers Karen, but boos Ray Lyn. Lots of fun interplay between them. Kind of surprised to see them get the win by pinning Monroe, but Savoy, the current Shimmer champ, was protected well.
Shazza MacKenzie def Hyan - Hyan looked pretty good, but Shazza was never in trouble and tapped her out
Blue Nation (Charlie Evans & Jessica Troy) def Fire & Nice (Britt Baker & Chelsea Green) - their usual solid match. All four are very good and Jessica and Charlie are two of the best heels in Rise/Shimmer. Fire & Nice has been on a losing streak, but they don’t need wins to stay popular, they look good and work hard. Britt is doing some of Adam Cole’s superkicks, but has enough of her own moves to not make her look like the female version of Cole. I gotta think it’s only a matter of time before they’re both in NXT.
Mercedes Martinez def Taya Valkyrie - Taya was super-over and brought Cierra, a little girl who beat cancer and started #DancerBeatinCancer, the crowd popped for her, but Martinez came out and heeled it up on the kid even joking about her beating an “illness” and telling her she didn’t deserve all this. Somehow it never came off as distasteful and you could tell her parents were so happy to see her having fun. The match was very good and they brawled outside and told a great story. Eventually, Mercedes held the ropes to the get the win. Post-match Cierra came back and members of the roster came out and they all danced in the ring with Cierra getting a solo. Fun moment and the crowd gave Cierra lots of love.
Deuce’s Alliance (Shotzi Blackheart, Cheerleader Melissa, Willow Nightingale) def Gokumon-To (Kris Wolf, Kikiyo, & Dynamite DiDi) in a 6-woman elimination match. In spite of Bull Nakano’s absence this was still a featured match and ended up being a lot of fun. Willow looked great in there, but Kris Wolf stole the show, though she was rivaled for popularity by Shotzi. Shotzi got the final elimination to win for her team.
Saraya Knight defeated Joey Ryan - fun match with Joey doing his shtick and Saray not having any of it. Saray took a lot of punishment but came back to get the win with a powerbomb from the corner. It was an ending out of no where and you could tell some folks were expecting more, but I thought it was nice little match that did what it needed.
Dust & Melanie Cruise def Kylie Rae & Miranda - Rosemary is injured and couldn’t wrestle, but she and Dust brought out the returning (she just had a baby) Melanie Cruise as the newest member of Paradise Lost. They gave her a new name, but I couldn’t catch it, think it was Raven’s Ash or Raveness. Hard to hear. Good match. Kylie is very over and looks great in the ring. Miranda is very good, but doesn’t quite connect with the crowd yet. Good stuff with the heel team doing what they needed and getting the win.
Delilah Doom def Deonna Purrazzo to retain the Phoenix of Rise championship. Really good match. Deonna was a standout of the weekend and easily gave Delilah one of the best matches she’s had in Rise/Shimmer. Delilah retains with a Saito Suplex. Post-Match Shotzi Blackheart came out and congratulated Delilah while keeping her eye on the prize setting up a potential match. Worth noting that Shotzi was basically screwed out of the title after a barbed wire bat shot from Dust and Delilah never pinned her to win the title.
Good night overall, but probably not their best show. Still amazing to see the sold-out house. They (Kevin Harvey & Gail Kim) also announced that RISE 9 will take place July 7th in Napierville with Rise of the Knockouts as they continue the road to crowning the Guardians of Rise (tag titles) and their collaboration with Impact, also announcing that Impact is bringing back the Knockouts tag titles. It’s a bigger building and Kevin told me they’re looking to sell over 500, which with the response to Rise 7 should be doable.
SHIMMER 101
SPARKLE Match:Dementia D’Rose & Nina Monet b. Queen Aminata & Tesha Price - Tesha once again looked really good and I’m looking forward to seeing more from her. Fine match that had some good crowd heat to get the day started.
SPARKLE Match: Facebrooke b. Ray Lyn - fine match, both worked well.
Zoe Lucas b. Aerial Monroe - Lot of fun. Both are very good and Zoe continues her winning streak.
Samantha Heights b. Sierra - Samantha and Sierra worked incredibly well together. Best Heights match I’ve seen and she’s clearly been working hard.
FOUR WAY MATCH: Hudson Envy b. Dynamite DiDi, Kay Lee Ray and Miranda Alize - Thought Kay Lee had this one, but Hudson was able to steal the pin with a kick to DiDi’s face.
Rachael Ellering b. Veda Scott - Rachel is very over and looks very good. She sells great and has some great moves in her arsenal.
Dust (w/Rosemary) b. Rhia O’Reilly - Awesome to see Rhia back. They had a very good match, with plenty of shenanigans. They beat her down after, but Saraya made the save to set up the tag match on the next card.
Marti Belle b. Brittany Blake - This was a match. It happened. Nothing terrible and Brittany has grown a lot, but Marti just seems there. Some people like her and she’s not bad, but she doesn’t do it for me.
SHIMMER TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Totally Tubular Tag Team (Delilah Doom & Leva Bates) (c) b. The Blue Nation (Charli Evans & Jessica Troy) - One of the best matches on the card. Seriously. Just a great back and forth match that played well in the team’s dynamics and strengths. Great double team Widow’s Peak by Doom with a kick to face by Leva on Evans got them the win to retain the titles. They did a Dirty Dancing cosplay, by the way, and it was fantastic. Doom was Baby and Leva was Johnny. Great stuff pre-match, but they played it straight in the ring and that helped make it a great match.
Mercedes Martinez b. Willow Nightingale - Willow looked really good here and even went for a second rope moonsault that looked like a million bucks. Impressive for her size. Mercedes naturally gets the win with the dragon sleeper. Mercedes beat her down after until Vanessa Kraven made the save for a pop.
HEART OF SHIMMER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Shazza McKenzie (c) b. Shotzi Blackheart - Very good match. Shotzi keeps getting better and has such amazing charisma. Shazza had to hit an Avalanche Shazztastic Stunner to put her away after a nice back and forth battle.
Mia Yim b. Nicole Matthews - Great stuff. Matthews had the Shim-virus (every SHIMMER taping there’s always a sickness floating around). She came out coughing and Mia brought out hand sanitizer and gave some to the front row, hilarious. And smelled great, by the way. Good match and Mia looked better here. Still a little tentative, but they match up well. Solid win for Mia on the ShimmerTaker with the package piledriver.
SUBMISSION MATCH: Deonna Purrazzo b. Madison Eagles - Match of the night and maybe the weekend. They match up so well and Madison is simply one of the best in the world. She feels so real. A true grapple fest with tons of unique transitions and holds and build to some stiff strikes and big moves and then back to the ground to go for the submission. Great stuff. Truly. Purrazzo got the big win to avenge her loss at 100. Afterwards it was announced she’d get a title shot at Savoy on the next card.
SHIMMER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Nicole Savoy (c) b. Cheerleader Melissa - Really good stuff. Melissa is just so damn good. She’s dropped a little weight (not that she was ever big) and was clearly having fun this weekend. Some great suplexes and submission attempts and both targeted limbs, which paid off as Savoy retained with an armbar.
Solid taping. 101 is one to get when it becomes available, seriously. One of the best tapings overall that I’ve been to.
SHIMMER 102
Zoe Lucas b. Leva Bates - Leva cosplayed as a “Double Dare” contestant and we started a “Blue Shorts” chant, she joked it doesn’t have quite the same ring. Zoe played dumb with the gimmick and we had a fun match with some good comedy bits. Zoe used the hard hat Leva had worn in her intro to grab the advantage and score a win.
Paradise Lost (Dust & Melanie Cruise) (w/Rosemary) b. Rhia O’Reilly & Saraya Knight - hard-hitting affair here with Paradise lost heeling it up. Somewhat scary moment as Cruise hit Saraya with a tombstone, but couldn’t score the pin. The ref wouldn’t count because Saraya had a shoulder up, but it looked like a miscommunication as Cruise waited for the count that never came. She tried to pick her up from the ground and hit another, but couldn’t really do it and just dropped down to her knees. I had a pretty good view and it didn’t really look like Saraya hit her head/neck, but she stayed down and there was a very long moment where Cruise just stayed there and the ref wouldn’t count the pin still. A tag was made and after Dust got the pin Saraya just laid there and the ref ran to the back and brought out more refs and Allison Danger. Saraya refused attention and Rhia told Allison she was fine and Saraya made it to her feet to a pop.
HEART OF SHIMMER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Shazza McKenzie (c) b. Hudson Envy - this one felt a little short, especially after Hudson has built some steam in singles action lately, but Shazza has a good defense and gets the win with her new(ish) head and arm submission.
Cheerleader Melissa b. Facebrooke - fun match and Melissa was very interactive with the fans in this one. FaceBrooke got some heel heat and I even yelled out “Cambridge Analytica” which Melissa ran with and began the beat down that ended in a solid win with the Air Raid Crash. Again, Melissa is so damn good.
Gokumon-to (Dynamite DiDi & Kikyo) b. Killer Death Machines (Jessicka Havok & Nevaeh) - KDM are super over and Nevaeh got a great “Welcome Back” chant as she returns from a knee injury back in July at the shimmer tapings. Surprise to see Gokumon-to get the win, but it was in dubious fashion as DiDi rolled up Nevaeh.
Kay Lee Ray b. LuFisto via DQ - Good stuff here. Somehow, even though she’s loved by a lot of the crowd and going through a cancer scare (for which the crowd raised over $1100 with a raffle), LuFisto can still draw heel heat. Not impossible against the big fan-favorite Kay Lee Ray. They had a hard hitting match that ended in DQ when Hudson Envy interfered. This brought out Mia Yim and it was a no brainer that we’d get a tag match on the next card.
Madison Eagles b. Kiera Hogan - Madison had a decided height advantage her and had a lot of fun with it. Match was very good and Madison scored the win with a roundhouse kick. Madison is so good at putting together great matches with out of no where finishes that feel right and real. Love her stuff.
FOUR WAY MATCH: Kris Wolf b. Charli Evans, Mia Yim and Shotzi Blackheart - Really good 4-way that had Wolf playing the face as opposed to her Rise match. She got the pin on Evans to keep Shotzi and Mia looking strong.
Kimber Lee b. Delilah Doom - really good match between these two. Kimber looked great all weekend and this match allowed her to heel it up a lot against the over Doom.
Mercedes Martinez b. Vanessa Kraven - Martinez stole this one in perfect heel fashion as Kraven was the clear fan-favorite. “Rematch” chant after.
SHIMMER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Nicole Savoy (c) b. Deonna Purrazzo - one of the best matches of the weekend, tho a little of the drama was sucked out knowing that Deonna was not around on Sunday for the second set of tapings. They worked well together and had a nice mix of ground game and strikes with Nicole busting out some big suplexes late in the match. She retained with the armbar which was a nice reversal after Deonna had worked over her arm all match, which Nicole sold very well, having trouble getting her up in suplexes a number of times. Post-Match Su Yung made her return and attacked Nicole Savoy with a kendo stick after the main event. Crowd was stoked to see Su and she left some big welts that turned into wicked bruises on Nicole’s back and shoulders.
Awesome day of tapings and this second show continued what are some of the best SHIMMER tapings I’ve been to so far.
SHIMMER 103
SPARKLE Match: Cici Galavis b. Harlow O’Hara - really good opener. Nice fundamentals, some cool spots and the face edged out the heel to start things off well.
SPARKLE Match: Karen Q (w/Ray Lyn) b. Tesha Price - Tesha continued to impress and Karen Q was a great opponent with some very solid work. Ray Lyn helped her partner get the win and tried to take credit post match to continue their in-fighting over who’s better.
Chelsea Green b. Jessica Troy - good stuff. Chelsea has one of the best wrist-locks on the roster. Such a simple thing, but hers just looks so good. Chelsea gets the win to avenger her team’s loss. Cheerleader Melissa b. Aerial Monroe - so much fun. Melissa was clearly having a good time this weekend and really brought as Ariel played up the size and experience difference. Some good comedy and great stuff from Melissa as usual.
Willow Nightingale b. Sierra - Nightingale looked good all weekend as did Sierra. They have a fun little match.
Undeniably Impressive (Indi Hartwell & Tessa Blanchard) b. The Sinister Sweethearts (Brittany Blake & Samantha Heights) - Indi looked better here, but there were still some miscues from everyone but Tessa. Still, it didn’t ever fall apart and Sam and Brittany were good in this, but again, it’s getting harder for people to boo Tessa which made for some mixed responses to the faces.
Saraya Knight b. Hyan - Hyan would not show Saraya respect which was a theme this taping. Saray remedied that and beat Hyan from pillar to post. She fought incredibly dirty much to the delight of the crowd.
Kris Wolf b. Kiera Hogan - Good performance from Wolf who was super-over all weekend.
Dust (w/Rosemary) b. Britt Baker - Dust got the win in a good match and it was announced that she would challenge for the Heart of SHIMMER title on the next card.
SHIMMER TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Totally Tubular Tag Team (Delilah Doom & Leva Bates) (c) b. Gokumon-to (Dynamite DiDi & Kikyo) - fun match as T4 cosplayed as Doc (Leva) and Marty (Doom) from Back to the Future which was actually a throwback to Regeneration Next (Allison Danger & Leva Bates) with Bates taking on the Doc role this time around. Not as good as their defense from Saturday’s tapings, but still a lot of fun. Good to see them retain and continue on as champs going out of the weekend.
Nicole Matthews b. Rachael Ellering - Matthews came out with tea and a sweater and looked miserable, playing up the ShimVirus gimmick. She got more “Patient Zero” chants and had a lot of fun with it even spitting her “tea” in Rachel’s face. Rachel his a stiff kick to Matthews face and she was bleeding from the nose a bit. Solid match and a good win for Matthews.
Hudson Envy & LuFisto b. Flyin’ High WDSS (Kay Lee Ray & Mia Yim) - hell of a brawl! Lots of good work from the heels who cheated to win and set up a tornado tag rematch on the next card.
HEART OF SHIMMER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Shazza McKenzie (c) b. Zoe Lucas - very good match that saw some great spots based around the fact that each do the splits for their finish, including both girls being in the splits exchanging strikes. Shazza retains after her submission finisher. Zoe looked good all weekend and this title shot was well-deserved. I expect her to be pushed up the card on the next set of tapings.
FOUR WAY MATCH: Kimber Lee b. Mercedes Martinez, Rhia O’Reilly and Vanessa Kraven - really good 4-way that played up the Kraven/Martinez feud and gave Kimber a chance to shine as well. Kraven almost had the win, but Martinez interfered and Kimber hit the swanton for the victory. Post-Match brawling from Mercedes and Vanessa led to a rematch between the two on the next card.
SHIMMER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Nicole Savoy (c) b. Su Yung - match of the weekend. Easily. It was so damn good. Better than just about any women’s match I’ve seen in the past year on North American soil. No joke. Su Yung made you believe she was taking the title, but Nicole kept fighting back and got the win with her submission after tons of nearfalls on both women. Su was super over and I don’t think anyone would have been upset had she taken the title. Sincerely hope to see her again next round of tapings.
SHIMMER 104
Veda Scott b. Samantha Heights - this was a match. Not bad and Samantha looked really good this weekend and was very over, but nothing special here. Kind of surprised to see Veda go over.
Killer Death Machines (Jessicka Havok & Nevaeh) b. Blue Nation (Charli Evans & Jessica Troy) - really good match. One of the best tags of the weekend along with the first title defense by T4. I could see KDM challenging for the belts after this. Blue Nation is very very good. Excited to see what’s next for them.
Melanie Cruise (w/Rosemary) b. Willow Nightingale - Cruise took her size advantage and pretty much terrorized Willow to pick up the win. Rosemary is awesome by the way. Even injured she kept her heat and made an impact in every match she was on the outside for.
Tessa Blanchard b. Miranda Alize - Tessa was over and they had a really good match that saw Tessa get a strong win.
Saraya Knight b. Rain (w/Lacey) - Rain and Lacey, two SHIMMER originals, made their return. A lot of fun to see them back. They heeled it up on Saraya and made fun of her age. Saraya, of course, beat the hell of Rain and even gave Lacey a few licks. Saraya got her nose busted open and reveled in it, using it add drama whereas Matthews had wiped her bloody nose away when she got busted earlier.
Cheerleader Melissa b. Leva Bates - Good match. Melissa continued to have fun with her matches as Leva cosplayed as Maverick from Top Gun. Leva kept saying she wanted to fly and played some nice comedy bits which Melissa turned around and at multiple points made Leva “fly”. She won with the Kudoh Driver which always looks sick, but Leva knows how to take it and it was a great finish after being teased a couple of times.
Nicole Matthews b. Kris Wolf - The ShimmerTaker played up the ShumVirus again and Wolf was super over. Really good match. Some were shocked to see Wolf drop the fall, but she had a great showing the whole weekend and if she’s back, there’s no doubt she’ll continue to draw and work her way up. There’s a reason Matthews is called the ShimmerTaker and she served as gatekeeper here.
SCRAMBLE MATCH: Shotzi Blackheart b. Britt Baker, Chelsea Green, Marti Belle, Rachael Ellering and Su Yung - Fun scramble that was all over the place. Baker and Green teased they were going to fight, but then hugged. Lots of great stuff, including a 6-way suplex spot. Shotzi got the pin on Marti after a senton from the top. Good way to end her weekend.
Vanessa Kraven b. Mercedes Martinez - really good and fun match. Kraven got her vengeance with a choke bomb that had fans asking for a title shot afterwards.
HEART OF SHIMMER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Dust (w/Rosemary) b. Shazza McKenzie (c) (w/Kellie Skater) – NEW CHAMPION - really good match. Kind of a surprise to see the title change. There were some teased shenanigans, but really, Dust went over clean, mostly. Skater balanced out Rosemary so it wasn’t like she stole the title. Big win for Dust, but well deserved. She’s a hard worker and Paradise Lost having some gold will make for interesting story-telling.
TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH: Flyin’ High WDSS (Kay Lee Ray & Mia Yim) b. Hudson Envy & LuFisto - hell of a lot of fun. Kay Lee Ray flew all over the place and they brawled all over the ringside area. Some great double-teams and stiff strikes.
SHIMMER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Nicole Savoy (c) b. Kimber Lee - good defense, but nowhere near the heat, story, or build as the Su Yung match. Savoy looked great and Lee definitely came close, but it was solid defense and a great way to close the show.
The after-party was a heck of a lot of fun and I got to have some fun conversations with the talent. Overall one of my favorite Shimmer weekends. November had the Joshi talent and there were some awesome matches, but something about the overall weekend this time around felt stronger. Madison Eagles was sick on Sunday and unable to wrestle, but still came out and was at the merch table, too. Already looking forward to the next set of tapings.
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2018.04.14 20:33 SaintRidley 30 Days of Women's Wrestling Trailblazers Bonus! - Day 31 LuFisto, Sara Del Rey, Mercedes Martinez, MsChif, and Cheerleader Melissa

Thank you so much for reading along with the 30-day series. I have one more post for you, and it’s a bonus. Today we look at the careers of five of the most important women in modern American independent wrestling, on whose backs the real Divas/Women’s (R)Evolution began. I would also like to plug the new subreddit /QueensoftheRing for more discussion about women’s wrestling, past and present.
Prologue
All five of these women got their starts in the late 90s-early 2000s at a time when women’s wrestling in the United States was very much an endangered species. Following the collapse of the territory system, it didn’t exist but for the occasional filler match in WCW and ECW, the AWA was dead, the NWA World Women’s Championship was inactive, few of the remaining holdout territories that hadn’t folded offered anything at all, and Moolah had sold her title to the WWF. You had GLOW, POWW, LMLW, the LPWA, and WOW – all short-lived women’s promotions – holding the torch alive for women’s wrestling at a time when women’s wrestling was a falling star. The Professional Girl Wrestling Association of Penny Banner was the only long-lasting women’s organization, and mostly facilitated booking girls through other promotions. The only major promotion to sustain interest in women’s wrestling for any length of time was the WWF.
Despite that, the WWF Women’s Championship had a troubled history. There was the Original Screwjob (which frankly seems far less original when you know about Burke and Byers, but Moolah had done enough to largely erase the contributions of the women who came before her from the business). There was the deactivation of the title during Rockin Robin’s reign. There was the revival with Madusa as Alundra Blayze and the partnership with AJW, only for the division to be shuttered once again. By the close of the century, the WWF revived women’s wrestling within itself once more as little more than a booby prize, an excuse to titillate the audience by giving it to whomever Vince McMahon thought had the nicest breasts that day. This is a time when the championship was won by stripping the opponent, or wrestling in gravy, or losing a match by being stripped to your underwear (as Debra did), or by a man in drag as a joke, where at no point did the concept of wrestling seem to even factor into the picture.
The Divas division of the post-Lita and Trish era is derided as being the nadir of women’s wrestling in WWE but compared to the Attitude Era prior to the folding of WCW it would have seemed a golden age. That is what women’s wrestling was as the five women profiled today were first breaking into the business, and each of them balked and said that wasn’t for them. Each took their own path to improving the situation on the independent scene, and all five would come together at the Berwyn Eagles Club in Berwyn, Illinois, where Dave Prazak and Allison Danger made the daring attempt to start an all-women wrestling promotion in the United States that aimed to be more like AJW, GAEA, Jd’, or JWP than any American women’s promotion had ever tried to be. That promotion, SHIMMER, is still the shining star of the independent scene for women in American wrestling thirteen years later.
The following five women could very well be considered the five pillars of women’s independent wrestling in the 21st century. Without their work, as well as that of the others they’ve wrestled and trained, SHIMMER would probably not be the success story it is and women’s wrestling in America would potentially still be endangered.
LuFisto
Born on February 15, 1980 in Sorel, Quebec, Genevieve Goulet became interested in wrestling when she saw tapes of Manami Toyota, Bull Nakano, and Akira Hokuto. Luna Vachon and her unique look, however, was a much more local inspiration. After being coached through training by Pierre Marchessault and Patrick Lewis, retired wrestler Lise Raymond gave LuFisto the final pep talk that cemented everything together. LuFisto was advised to stand up for herself and never let wrestlers who didn’t want women in wrestling demean her, and that it’s “better to be a bitch and secure one’s spot than to get along with them” (Laprade and Murphy, 358).
LuFisto debuted as Lucifer in 1997, wrestling across Canada, the U.S., Europe and Japan. Over the course of these early years she became Luscious Lucy, then Precious Lucy, and finally LuFisto. She made her mark as a hardcore wrestler and was soon known as the First Lady of Hardcore, leading to an invitation to wrestle some extreme shows for Lucha Libre Femenil, before taking a two-month tour of Japan where she trained with Sara Del Rey and Kana.
Somehow, LuFisto has never been signed to a major promotion. She talked to WCW in 2000, though for obvious reasons (namely, their freefall collapse) nothing came of this. In 2009 she nearly signed with TNA, but the arrival of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff put an end to that. LuFisto heard rumblings that it was due to her looks, as she didn’t look “enough like the Beautiful People” (Laprade and Murphy, 357). She had a tryout with TNA in 2012, and tried to enter both TNA’s Gut Check Challenge and WWE’s Tough Enough, but was passed over.
LuFisto has reason to claim responsibility for the legalization of intergender wrestling in Ontario. That began in April 2003, when a hardcore intergender tag team match she was scheduled for was cancelled due to another promoter filing a complaint with the Ontario Athletic Commission (predictably, these rules only applied to independent wrestling, as WWE had run intergender matches in Ontario without interference from the Commission). LuFisto enlisted the help of the Ontario Human Rights Commission, making the case that “the regulation in question was a violation of [her] human rights, based on [her] gender” (Laprade and Murphy, 362). On May 10, 2006, the Ontario Athletic Commission not only lifted the ban on intergender wrestling, but deregulated professional wrestling completely. OAC commissioner Ken Hayashi said of the decision:
It's been something we've been considering for a while. There's been a lot of requests from promoters for de-regulation. The bottom line is there were no real health and safety regulations (to oversee), that's the main thrust of this office. Wrestling is choreographed, pre-arranged. I think we are the only jurisdiction in Canada that still regulates it. It was just a matter of time and that time has come; we no longer regulate professional wrestling.
Of the five women profiled today, LuFisto has been wrestling the longest. Despite this, she is the only one not to be a SHIMMER original, making her debut in SHIMMER on volume 7. She’s appeared on 65 of SHIMMER’s 100 volumes (and will likely add to that number today and tomorrow as volumes 101-104 tape), and has wrestled numerous times against and alongside women like Cheerleader Melissa, Kana, Mercedes Martinez, Rain, Kellie Skater, the Canadian Ninjas, and Amazing Kong.
For the past 20 years, LuFisto has been a constant force on the independent scene, where she’s earned numerous accolades. Among her past championship accomplishments are the CZW Iron Man Championship (the first woman to win it), two reigns with the NCW International Femmes Fatales Championship, the WSU World Championship, and numerous others from smaller promotions. She’s won several tournaments, including the 2007 IWA Mid-South Queen of the Deathmatch tournament, the 2007 Sherri Memorial Cup Tournament (with partner El Generico), and the 2010 NCW Femmes Fatales Championship Tournament. Other honors include being inducted into the Association de Lutte Féminine Quebec Female Wrestling Hall of Fame and winning the 2008 CZW Best of the Best People’s Choice award. LuFisto is, at the time of writing, the current reigning Shine champion.
LuFisto suffered a stroke on April 17, 2010, but it only kept her out of the ring for a month and a half. There’s no doubt she’s one of the toughest women in professional wrestling today. She was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer. The easiest way you as a fan can help LuFisto with her medical bills (she’s Canadian, but because she is now an American citizen she has to deal with American healthcare) by visiting her website and buying merch.
Matches
NGX May 7, 2005, vs. Princesa Sugey, hardcore match
CZW November 10, 2007, vs. Sabian
ALF October 12, 2007, with El Generico vs. Misty Haven and Alex von Payton (round 1 Sensational Sherri Memorial Cup
SMASH August 18, 2013, vs. Vanessa Kraven
CZW Prelude to Violence May 31, 2014, with Kimber Lee vs. Jessicka Havok and Nevaeh
Beyond #HOGxBEYOND June 17, 2016, vs. Sonya Strong
Beyond Over-Nite Sensation December 11, 2016, vs. Kimber Lee
Beyond #Caffeine April 2, 2017, vs. Deonna Purrazzo
Beyond Feeling Minnesota April 30, 2017, with Jordynne Grace (Team PAWG) vs. Anthony Greene and Brick Mastone (ΑΣΣ)
Sara Del Rey
The Death Rey, the Queen of Wrestling, The American Angel. Sara Del Rey has gone by many names, but she was born Sara Ann Amato on November 13, 1980 in Martinez, California. She started wrestling in 2001 after being trained by Brian Danielson, and today she’s the assistant head coach in WWE’s Performance Center, being the driving force behind the rise in quality of WWE’s women’s division.
A year after her debut in 2001, Del Rey was accepted to a tour with ARSION in Japan, where she sat under the learning tree of Aja Kong and truly began to hone her craft. She wrestled in Japan and Mexico, and wound up back in the United States to take part in the first taping for Dave Prazak’s new all-women’s promotion SHIMMER, where she and Mercedes Martinez fought to a time-limit draw in their first match together. SHIMMER was at that time closely-affiliated with Ring of Honor, and Del Rey was a fixture of the nascent Women of Honor division, as well as in CHIKARA.
In SHIMMER, Del Rey was the de facto locker room leader. She was there to wrestle for the first 48 shows without missing a one before she was signed to WWE. She was the ace of the promotion, and in the words of Dave Prazak she was someone “young wrestlers looked up to” as “someone to aspire to be like because she proved that gender doesn’t have to hold one back from being a top-flight pro wrestler.”
Del Rey won the 2007 tournament to crown the first SHIMMER Champion, and in 2010 she got to have a dream match, partnering with Claudio Castagnoli against Manami Toyota and Mike Quackenbush. In 2011 she got to wrestle and defeat Aja Kong, Tsubasa Kuragaki, and Ayako Hamada. Del Rey is one of the rare few wrestlers from outside of Japan to have defeated Asuka at any point in her career, and one of only two to do it twice. And in 2012 she got the rare distinction of placing #430 in the PWI 500 after having defeated such male wrestlers as Castagnoli and El Generico (Laprade and Murphy, 408). From March to July 2012, she and Courtney Rush were the SHIMMER Tag Team Champions as the Queens of Winning, making her the first woman to have won both the SHIMMER Tag Team and singles championships.
Del Rey signed with WWE in 2012 and retired from active wrestling, taking on her current role of trainer in the Performance Center. It’s her “lifelong passion,” she told Vice. Her enduring legacy is WWE’s revived, revitalized, revolutionized women’s division.
Matches
ROH , vs. Taeler Hendrix
ROH, vs. Amazing Kong
AIW, vs. Hailey Hatred
SHIMMER June 2, 2007, vs. Lacey to crown the first SHIMMER champion
Jersey All Pro Wrestling, December 11, 2010, vs. LuFisto for the JAPW Women’s Championship
SHIMMER October 2, 2011, with Madison Eagles vs. Ayumi Kurihara and Ayako Hamada for the SHIMMER Tag Team Championship
Bonus promo segments: Sara tries to find a partner on SHIMMER volume 47
Mercedes Martinez
Born Jasmine Benitez on November 17, 1980 in Waterbury, Connecticut, Mercedes Martinez grew up as a fan of professional wrestling and was inspired by wrestlers like Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. GLOW gained a fan in her as well. She played basketball in high school and college until she was injured and had to quit. That’s when she learned of a new pro wrestling school opened by Jason Knight (Laprade and Murphy, 244). Like LuFisto, she’s never been signed by a major promotion, though she has worked a few matches for ROH and WWE in her tenure.
Within a month of beginning her training, Martinez had her debut match in 2000, and Knight gave her the name Mercedes Martinez. She made the rounds of the New England independent circuit, impressing enough to impress Dave Prazak, who brought her in to main event SHIMMER’s first show in a time-limit draw against Sara Del Rey, the first of 69 volumes she has wrestled on for SHIMMER (possibly as many as 73 after this weekend). In 2005 and 2006 Martinez worked the indies, being a highlight of SHIMMER’s shows and in 2007 she became part of Ring of Honor’s Vulture Squad stable. She won several titles, including the NWA Midwest/IWA Mid-South Women’s Championship, the WXW Cruiserweight Championship, and the WXW Women’s Championship.
In 2006 Martinez was given a tryout with WWE in a match against Victoria, but she wasn’t what they were looking for (Laprade and Murphy, 345).
“I was told to revamp myself,” she said, in reference to the feedback the WWE road agents provided following the match. “My style was too aggressive for them – too hardcore, too strong-style. I had to tone it down and we could go from there. I didn’t want to water down myself and be something they wanted me to be when I knew what I was capable of at that time.”
So Martinez said thanks but no thanks and went back to the independents. “I don’t regret turning them down because what they wanted wasn’t right for me,” she said. If what’s going on now [a greater emphasis on athleticism and workrate] had happened 10 years ago, I believe I would have been there.”
One of Martinez’s biggest accomplishments came under Sean McCaffrey’s stewardship of Women Superstars Uncensored. She was brought in as a top star and a booker, winning the WSU championship on March 7, 2009. Martinez made many marks in history during her feud with Angel Orsini, including the first women’s bullrope match, and on June 6 in an Iron Man match. Feeling a 30 minute match would be too easy and even ho-hum, they made a 60 minute match that went into sudden death overtime, ending at a final time of ~71 minutes, officially becoming the longest women’s match ever (blowing away every the 60-minute draw in AJW and even the 63 minute no contest claimed on Mildred Burke’s behalf for her shoot with June Byers). Martinez would hold the title for three years before dropping it to Jessicka Havok, but not before breaking her own record in a title defense on August 6, 2011 against Lexxus (Impact’s Alisha Edwards) that went 73 minutes.
In 2017 Martinez was part of WWE’s Mae Young Classic, where she advanced to the semi-final before losing to a familiar face from SHIMMER: Shayna Baszler. Baszler, Martinez, and Nicole Savoy were a stable in SHIMMER at the time called Trifecta, with Martinez as the SHIMMER champion and Savoy as the Heart of SHIMMER champion, with Baszler as the extra muscle.
Following the tournament, Baszler signed with WWE, and Aja Kong was brought in as a new third member of Trifecta, with Martinez explicitly calling her the new #2 of the group, to the annoyance of Savoy. Savoy would turn on Trifecta and win the SHIMMER Championship from Martinez. Martinez unsuccessfully challenged Savoy for the title at SHIMMER 100.
Martinez is a highly decorated champion with nearly thirty championship reigns in her career. She is currently the SHINE Tag Team champion with Ivelisse as well as the WSU Champion (in her third reign). She recently lost the NCW Femmes Fatales International Championship to Vanessa Kraven and the SHIMMER Championship to Nicole Savoy.
In 2014 Martinez was inducted into the WXW Hall of Fame, and in 2017 she was inducted into the WSU Hall of Fame. In 2011 she was #2 in the PWI Female 50. She’s still going strong, as well as teaching newer wrestlers through seminars with RISE.
Matches
WWE Heat June 12, 2006, vs. Victoria (tryout match)
SHIMMER October 2, 2011 and March 17, 2012, vs. Athena (highlights from vols. 43 and 44, entirety of the match from vol. 45)
AAW November 26, 2016, vs. Kimber Lee for the SHIMMER championship
WWE Network
July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic round of 16, vs. Princesa Sugehit
July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic quarterfinal, vs. Abbey Laith
July 14, 2017 Mae Young Classic semifinal, vs. Shayna Baszler
Nov. 15, 2017 NXT, vs. Ember Moon
MsChif
Rachel Frobel, née Collins, was born in 1976 in St. Louis, Missouri. A microbiologist by trade, she was profiled on The Secret Life of Scientists and Engineers (here are some clips), where she revealed that her inspiration to wrestle came when a secretary asked her what she would do if she could pick any thing fun to do in life. She began training in 2000, one of only two women in her class and the only one who stuck with it past two shows.
She debuted in July 2001, and wrestled intergender matches until Daizee Haze came into the picture. The two worked each other and as partners across the Midwest independents, and in 2005 the two took part in the first SHIMMER taping. Haze wrestled Lacey in the main event while MsChif wrestled an intense brawl against Cheerleader Melissa. With her banshee scream and imposing look, MsChif by all appearances should have been the heel, but in reality she was the face of the match. In her tenure with SHIMMER, MsChif would wrestle on 52 volumes.
MsChif won the NWA World Women’s Championship from Christie Ricci in January 2007. MsChif explains that NWA promoter “Ed Chuman really wanted to kick up the women’s division and get it out into the spotlight,” perhaps an attempt to reverse some of the damage it had done to its own reputation in women’s wrestling during the early TNA years, but “unfortunately, several of the NWA promotions didn’t have a lot of money and weren’t willing to invest in women’s wrestling. It never took off quite the way Ed wanted” (Laprade and Murphy, 368).
Around this time, MsChif would say that she had no intention of going to WWE, explaining:
It’s sad to me to see talented women wrestlers go to waste because the WWE won’t really let them wrestle. Instead they use them as nothing more than sex objects. I don’t ever want to leave wrestling the way I wrestle now. I don’t want to be told what I can and can’t do.
She would lose the title to Amazing Kong in April, before winning it back on April 27, 2008, the day after she won the SHIMMER Championship from Sara Del Rey. She would hold the SHIMMER Championship for 715 days before dropping it to Madison Eagles, the longest reign with the title on record, and would hold onto the NWA World Women’s Championship for 818 days before dropping it to Tasha Simone. She was also the NWA Midwest Women’s champion for four years during this period. This time as a triple champion helped her earn her spot at #4 on the PWI Female 50 for 2009.
MsChif married Michael Elgin on July 4, 2013, and they had a child in September 2015. MsChif’s last match to date was on May 11, 2014. If she intends to return to the ring in the foreseeable future, she hasn’t said, but she has also not made any official statement of retirement. She’s not ready just yet to close the door on wrestling (Laprade and Murphy, 369).
Matches
ROH, vs. Daizee Haze, Lacey, and Ashley Lane
EWF, with Christina Eerie vs. Candice LeRae and Davina Rose
SHIMMER April 7, 2007, vs. Amazing Kong
RQW 2007, vs. Eden Black and Cheerleader Melissa for the RQW Women’s Championship
D1W June 7, 2013, vs. Crazy Mary Dobson
Cheerleader Melissa
Born Melissa Anderson on August 17, 1982 in Los Angeles, Cheerleader Melissa is a second generation wrestler. Her father, Doug Anderson, had her attending Cauliflower Alley Club banquets from the time she was a teenager. When his tag team partner opened a wrestling school in San Bernadino, she signed up at the age of 15.
She trained under the tutelage of Billy Anderson (no relation, but he was her father's tag team partner) and began touring the All Pro Wrestler circuit as a manager to the Ballard Brothers, a pair of heelish hockey players as their villainous cheerleader. She received additional training from Christopher Daniels and Brian Danielson before having her first match in 1999 on her 17th birthday, where she lost to Lexi Fyfe. She thought “Cheerleader Melissa” would be just a temporary thing, but she “realized very quickly that in the field of sports entertainment, that the name Melissa wasn’t marketable – it wasn’t catch and not getting people’s attention at all” (Laprade and Murphy, 354).
In 2002 Melissa was invited to Japan to work with ARSION, wrestling against Lioness Asuka on her 20th birthday. By 2004 her hard work was already paying off, when the Cauliflower Alley Club gave her their Future Legend Award. They weren’t wrong.
On the West coast she wrestled for ChickFight, and when SHIMMER opened its doors in 2005, she was right there on the first show, proving her heel credentials against MsChif. The most prolific wrestler for the promotion, she has wrestled on 89 volumes of SHIMMER (and likely more this weekend), most recently defeating Shotzi Blackheart at SHIMMER 100.
As far as SHIMMER goes, she wrestled the most consecutive volumes of any SHIMMER wrestler, working the first 60 volumes. She would have wrestled the first 80 straight volumes if not for having to get stitches at the hospital following a match with LuFisto on volume 60, forcing her to only appear in a run-in on 61 after rushing from the hospital to make the show in time.
Melissa would become the SHIMMER champion in 2011 by defeating Madison Eagles. She would lose it to Saraya Knight, before regaining it on April 6, 2013 by defeating Knight in SHIMMER’s first ever cage match to become the first two-time SHIMMER champion (an honor only she and Mercedes Martinez share). This helped make her #1 on the PWI Female 50 for 2013. Through her time in SHIMMER, she also became only the second American to have two pinfall victories against Kana (WWE's Asuka).
All the while, Melissa tried out for WWE in 2006, though she was passed over. She was at one point considered for a spot in WWE prior to that tryout, but nothing came of it due to a change in direction (namely, the dropping of the Muhammad Hassan character). She was originally to have been part of the Muhammed Hassan and Khosrow Daivari group, and this led to the persona she adopted when she first joined TNA in 2008 as Raisha Saeed. She managed Awesome Kong and occasionally wrestled in this role, but she was criminally underused. At some point someone in TNA realized this, so they asked her to do double duty. She debuted as Alissa Flash in 2009 and wrestled outside the niqab all while also wearing it to wrestle for and/or against Kong as well (October 20 and 21, 2009, for instance saw her wrestle as Saeed one day and Flash the next, losing to Awesome Kong and Tara, respectively). She requested her release from TNA in 2010 due to feeling underused.
In 2014 she was made president of Stardom’s American branch, responsible for booking American talent for Stardom shows. In that role she and Madusa have had many conversations relating to the struggles of being a woman in wrestling (Laprade and Murphy, 356-57).
“When I talk to Madusa, I sometimes feel like I’m talking to a version of myself from the future. We’ve had so many of the same experiences. When she worked for some of the bigger companies, she would struggle because she had trained in Japan with that style. She would wrestle and the men would be pissed that they had to follow her. I was like, ‘Oh God, you too?’”
In the middle of season 2 of Lucha Underground Melissa debuted as Mariposa. It was her first taste of a big tv production since her TNA days. She wishes everything happening in women’s wrestling right now could have happened a few years ago when she was younger, believing that women’s wrestling “is on the verge of a breakthrough” in all parts of the industry (Laprade and Murphy, 357).
Matches
WWE Heat May 26, 2006, vs. Victoria (tryout match)
Impact May 5, 2009, vs. Daffney
Impact May 27, 2009, vs. Sojo Bolt
Impact November 15, 2009, vs. Hamada
QPro February 1, 2014, vs. Joey Ryan
Lucha Underground May 4, 2016, vs. Sexy Star No Más match
DDT June 26, 2016, vs. Matt Stryker for the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight championship
UCW May 2017, vs. Marti Daniels, Nikita LaFleur, Gabrielle Arce, Dementria, and Paradise (gauntlet match)
Sources
Clapp, John, “WWE’s Secret Weapon: How Sara Amato is changing the Divas division WWE.com (March 11, 2014)
Kreiser, Jamie Melissa, “Getting into MsChif” for SLAM! Sports (April 16, 2007)
Lacroix, Corey David “Ontario de-regulates pro wrestling” for SLAM! Sports (May 29, 2006)
Laprade, Pat and Dan Murphy, Sisterhood of the Squared Circle: The History and Rise of Women’s Wrestling (ECW Press, 2017)
Laprade, Patric, “Ten years later, Cheerleader Melissa far more than a future legend” for SLAM! Sports (June 3, 2014)
McCaffrey, Sean, “In praise of Mercedes Martinez” for SLAM! Sports (July 13, 2017)
Winkle, Luke, “The WWE’s First-Ever Female Trainer is Ushering in a New Golden Era for Women WrestlersVice (April 26, 2015)
Previously:
Minerva Cora Livingston Clara Mortensen Ida Mae Martinez Cora and Debbie Combs
Penny Banner The Beauty Pair Babs Wingo, Marva Scott, Ethel Johnson Judy Grable Jaguar Yokota
Susan Tex Green The Glamour GirlsDevil Masami Mae Weston Sandy Parker
Monster Ripper Kay Noble Vivian and Luna Vachon The Crush Gals Gladys Gillem
Beverly Shade Evelyn Stevens Sensational Sherri Princess Little Cloud Dump Matsumoto
Nell Stewart Lola Gonzalez Manami Toyota June Byers Mildred Burke
submitted by SaintRidley to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]


2016.04.10 15:59 upo_kalabasa SC's Wrestler of the Week #25 - Sara Del Rey

Welcome to Wrestler of the Week #25. Based on our poll, This week's featured wrestler is "The Queen of Wrestling" Sara Del Rey.

Sara Del Rey

Height: 5 ft. 10 in.
Weight: 155 lbs.
From: Martinez, California
Trained by: Bryan Danielson, Donovan Morgan, Robert Thompson
Finishing Move: Royal Butterfly, Spike Piledriver
Notable Championships & Accomplishments: 1 time Shimmer Champion, 1 time Shimmer Tag Team Champion (with Courtney Rush), 1 time JAPW Women's Champion, 1 time Undisputed World Intergender Heavyweight Tag Team Champion (with Chris Hero)
Entrance Themes:
source: wikipedia/ cagematch.net
Recommended Matches: (Post any of your recommended matches for Sara Del Rey and I will add it up here.)
Segments:
Let's discuss everything you like and dislike about Sara Del Rey, share some of your favorite matches and post some gifs and video highlights of him.
For next week, here are names I randomly picked out of your suggestions. Vote who you want to be featured for Wrestler of the Week #26.
Poll: http://strawpoll.me/7331354
Previous Wrestler of the Week - Super Crazy
SC's Wrestler of the Week Wiki Page
submitted by upo_kalabasa to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]


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