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Antonio Banderas Biography, Movies, & Facts Britannica
Antonio Banderas says there's no bad blood between him and ex-wife Melanie Griffith — in fact, things between them are great. During an interview with Vulture, the actor, 59, gushed about the ... Antonio Banderas Parents: Jose Dominguez (father), Dona Ana Banderas (mother) Antonio Banderas Siblings: Francisco Javier Banderas (brother) Antonio Banderas Marital Status: divorced Antonio Banderas Wife: 1. Ana Leza (1988 – 1996) 2. Melanie Griffith (1996 – 2015) Antonio Banderas Children: Stella Banderas (daughter with Melanie Griffith) “Cinema has opened a world of possibilities up ... Oscar nominee Antonio Banderas steps with his daughter Stella and girlfriend Nicole Kimpel at the 2020 Academy Awards on Sunday (February 9) at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood.. The 59-year-old ... Antonio Banderas, Spanish-born film actor and director whose good looks, sensuality, and emotional range made him a leading international star. He is known for such movies as Evita (1996), The Mask of Zorro (1998), and films that Robert Rodriguez directed, notably Desperado (1995) and Spy Kids (2001). It’s a date night for Antonio Banderas! The actor, 59, and girlfriend Nicole Kimpel , 39, walked hand-in-hand at the 2020 Golden Globe Awards. Get push notifications with news, features and more. Antonio Banderas was previously married to Melanie Griffith (1996 - 2015) and Ana Leza (1987 - 1996). Antonio Banderas has been in relationships with Natalie Burn (2014). Antonio Banderas is rumoured to have hooked up with Sharon Stone (2014) and Angelina Jolie (2000). Antonio Banderas has a new lease on life. The 59-year-old actor appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Thursday night and opened up about how close he might have come to death had it not been for ... It was a family affair for Antonio Banderas at the 2019 Hollywood Film Awards on Sunday night. The 23rd annual event brought together the likes of Olivia Wilde, Nicole Kidman, Charlize Theron ... CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 17: Spanish actor Antonio Banderas (R) and his partner Nicole Kimpel (L) arrive for the screening of the film 'Dolor y Gloria' (Pain and Glory) in competition at the 72nd ... According to Fox News, Banderas saw some financial ups and downs after his divorce from his longtime partner of nearly two decades, Melanie Griffith.Per TMZ (via the Daily Mail), Griffith got the ...
Movie Dicks for June 2nd, 2020: "Hollow Heroes: Trail for Justice"
2020.05.30 21:15 Tiberius-KirkMovie Dicks for June 2nd, 2020: "Hollow Heroes: Trail for Justice"
Welcome to Movie Dicks for June 2nd, 2020. Tonight, we have 3 films with hollow heroes on the trail for justice! It's name stars who aren't a draw! Threats that are needlessly confusing! Directors who are incredibly schlocky! We'll be starting at 8:00pm Central. All Links Here
The Rage (1997) stars Lorenzo Lamas as an FBI agent stuck with a rookie partner (Kristen Cloke) on the trail of a serial killer, Gary Busey, who isn't what he seems! With Roy Scheider and David Carradine, directed by Sidney J. Furie (The Ipcress File, Lady Sings the Blues, The Boys in Company C, Iron Eagle, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, The Taking of Beverly Hills, Ladybugs). Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) stars Antonio Banderas as a former FBI agent on the trail of Lucy Liu, a rogue secret agent assassin, in one of the worst-reviewed movies of all time. They made a video game of this one, folks! With Gregg Henry, Ray Park, and Talia Soto, directed by... sigh Kaos (Fah, Tekken 2, Zero Tolerance, The Lost Medallion). Raw Justice (1994, aka "Good Cop, Bad Cop", "Strip Girl") stars Pamela Anderson as a hooker and nobody else, if you believe the promotional art, but also David Keith as a bounty hunter with personal stakes on the trail of killer who he believes is Robert Hays (Airplane!), who himself is on the trail of the real killer of a journalist and daughter of the mayor, Charles Napier! Confused? Well that's because it's written, produced, and directed by David A. Prior (Deadly Prey, Killzone, Future Force, Killer Workout); also starring Stacy Keach and Leo Rossi.
Last Time on Movie Dicks
Alien Warrior (1986), Hawkeye (1988), Night Train to Terror (1985) Last Movie Dicks Thank you for joining us on this Movie Dicks presentation.
2020.02.21 18:24 gdelgi[COLLECTION] Evita: from page to screen (various screenplay drafts)
Since my Hair compendium post went over so well, I thought I'd share some more stuff that I've picked up over my years of foraging. Today, I start a series on a musical's transition from the stage to script to screen. Our favorite shows are going to change when they're taken into another medium, be it by large or small degrees; that's the nature of adaptation. It's intriguing to see how multiple people view the same piece, and what makes the final cut as opposed to something else. And it's not even just because of changes in the creative team. On a film adaptation of a big-ticket item made by a major studio, it's common to have several versions going at a time. The commonplace (in the Thirties) practice of assigning different teams of writers to a work has never gone out of style. One just never hears about it because sometimes it takes years to get a film made, and they'll pick one version and not the other for a variety of reasons (typically the usual studio politics and bullshit; sometimes a version will even be written as a prop to force another writer they want on the project to get working, for example). Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber's Evita was one such stage-to-screen transfer. Rice and ALW had more control than most when it came to this film, perhaps as a result of seeing how the 1973 JCS went without much direct input from them. (That becomes immediately apparent when one sees some of the final film's ideas -- Eva at her father's funeral in the prologue, for example -- long before 1996, in every draft from 1982 to the final product, regardless of the name on the cover page.) But every adaptor brought different tastes and notions to the story, which made each version its own animal. At any rate, it went through a lot of stops on the road to the cinema, and I'm happy to share a few of them with you today.
The Ken Russell version
This draft dates from the very first attempts to make Evita into a film, shortly after it opened on Broadway. After its surprise success (following stories of a troubled out-of-town tryout, its London track record notwithstanding), the show's film rights were the subject of a bidding war; Warner Bros., MGM, Paramount all wanted in. Jon Peters tossed his hat in the ring, offering to guarantee then-girlfriend Barbra Streisand for the lead if he could produce. (Robert Stigwood, hoping to remain the film's sole producer, turned him down when it became clear this was the dealbreaker for Barbra's participation.) EMI Films won the war with a bid of $7.5 million, and names like Elton John and Barry Gibb began to be batted about for Ché, but after a string of box office flops and the Thorn EMI merger, Evita fell by the wayside. In May 1981, Paramount acquired the rights (with Stigwood as producer), set a budget of $15 million (Stigwood, Rice, and ALW each negotiated a smaller salary in exchange for a higher gross percentage), and, on the strength of their previous mutual success with Tommy, Stigwood hired Ken Russell to direct and write the screenplay. He proceeded to do the latter without Stigwood, Rice, or ALW's approval; the draft you'll see follows the outlines of the stage production, but establishes the character of Ché as a newspaper reporter. The script also contains a hospital montage for Eva and Ché, in which they pass each other on gurneys in white corridors as she is being treated for cancer, while Ché is beaten and injured by rioters. "Waltz for Eva and Ché" in particular is a scene in typical Russell style, a dream sequence taking place on the barren pampas, with the two surrounded by giant symbols of ruined civilizations and religions, crumbling hopes and dreams -- a fallen swastika, a headless Buddha, a battered eagle from imperial Rome, a rotting cross, a splintered pharaoh, and a rusty hammer and sickle -- which then vanished to be replaced by more familiar concerns, such as polluting smoke, smashed cars, barbed wire, and bleached bones. Casting began in earnest. They screen-tested all eight of the actresses then playing Eva worldwide, but Russell was unsatisfied. Then Webber's wife (at the time) mentioned that she had seen Karla DeVito on Broadway in The Pirates of Penzance and was suitably impressed. DeVito, with a strong background in the rock world, happened to be in England at that moment shooting music videos for her solo album Is This a Cool World or What? Russell took the chance and screen-tested her at Elstree Studios, and her performance of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" reportedly brought the room to tears. That is, the room except Tim Rice. Tim, then romantically involved with the original West End Eva, Elaine Paige, considered the film role his girlfriend's exclusive property. Elaine was screen-tested twice, Russell didn't like her, but Tim was unwilling to budge, so pre-production temporarily stalled. Assured he would be allowed final control of casting, Russell saw other possibilities a year later. Among them, he screen-tested Liza Minnelli (in a blonde wig and period gowns, no less). She was an established film actress, she had the talent, and the star quality oozed from the screen test. To Ken, she was ideally suited to the role. He approached Stigwood with the tape, and was assured his pick would be fairly considered... but now Stigwood, Rice, and ALW all insisted on Elaine when he asked what they thought. Seeing the writing on the wall and that (at least in his perception) Rice's mistress would be shoved down his throat regardless of his opinion, Ken said, "Minnelli, or I'm out." And so they fired him, and Evita went into turnaround (a Hollywood euphemism meaning "for sale -- cheap"). Other directors were approached -- Herbert Ross turned it down to direct Footloose, Richard Attenborough deemed the project impossible, Alan J. Pakula and Hector Babenco declined. One performer campaigning for the title role (we'll talk about her in a minute) tried to interest Francis Ford Coppola, to no avail. And then...
The Oliver Stone version
This is Oliver's draft. The project began development again in 1987 when Jerry Weintraub's independent studio WEG acquired the rights to Evita from Paramount. Writer-director Oliver Stone, of all unlikely fans of the show, expressed interest in the project and was confirmed to write and direct in April 1988. He traveled to Argentina, visited Eva's birthplace, and met with President Carlos Menem, who agreed to provide 50,000 extras and not to say "boo" about the film's take on its central figure. Stone even hooked up a lead: Meryl Streep. He, Rice, and ALW met with her at a recording studio in NY to do preliminary dubbings of the score. Stigwood was impressed: "She learned the entire score in a week. Not only can she sing, but she's sensational – absolutely staggering." The link above is to the screenplay that probably entered the picture around this time; after all, a film can't be greenlit without a script, and WEG allocated a $29 million budget around this time, with filming set to begin in early 1989. Once again, tragedy struck, this time in threes:
The 1989 riots in Argentina put a halt to the shooting schedule owing to concerns about cast and crew safety, which meant scouting for alternate locations in Brazil and Chile before settling on Spain.
Settling on Spain increased the budget to $35 million owing to different contingencies, and unfortunately WEG's films weren't doing so hot at the box office, which meant they couldn't outlay that kind of cash. They dropped the project, and Stone had to seek out a new studio; ultimately, Carolco Pictures was willing to talk.
Unfortunately for Carolco, Streep's star was rising, and she -- or her people -- realized that, as the front-runner, she could make demands. Her asking price grew, and she demanded a pay-or-play contract with a 48-hour deadline. They finally reached an agreement, but at the eleventh hour, Streep pulled out "for personal reasons," and that pulled the plug on Evita. (It's suspected this may have been a ploy for a bigger salary or the other film she was considering fell through, because ten days later she got back to them again still interested in the project, but Stone had already moved on to his next film, The Doors.)
Disney was the next studio to pick up the project in 1990, intending to release Evita under its "adult" label of Hollywood Pictures with Glenn Gordon Caron directing, but the budget mounted quickly past what Disney chairman Jeffrey Katzenberg was willing to spend, and they pulled back. The film changed hands again, this time to producer Andrew Vajna and Cinergi Pictures, and Stone entered the picture again when his frequent partner Arnon Milchan was brought in as co-financier and the head of Hollywood Pictures had a chat with Stone. Antonio Banderas was locked for Ché when the project was at Disney, and in 1994, Stone confirmed Michelle Pfeiffer would be playing the title role. Production was set to begin in 1995 after Stone made Noriega, another film Milchan was financing/producing. But ah, 'twas not to be... the combined high production costs of Noriega, Evita, and Stone's forthcoming Nixon were giving Milchan agita, he and Stone fought, Noriega never got made, and Stone left Evita that July.
The Alan Parker version
Finally, in December 1994, Alan Parker came in. (Again. After the 1976 concept album release, he'd met with TR and ALW's manager, David Land, asking if they were interested in a film of Evita, only to be told that they wanted to explore its stage possibilities first. By the time the show had opened in the West End and on Broadway, and Stigwood was ready to talk about the movie again, Parker had just completed shooting on Fame and turned it down, saying he "didn't want to do back-to-back musicals." Now the time was right.) And there was a star interested: Madonna. (Again. She'd been angling for the part as far back as 1986, visiting Robert Stigwood's office dressed in a gown and 1940s-style hairdo to show her interest and trying to get Coppola to the table. When Stone was signed to the project shortly thereafter, she met with him and ALW to discuss her interest, but she requested script approval and discussed personally making alterations to the score. As anybody who knows what ALW's like knows, that made her a no-go. Disney brought her back into the picture when they took over, but that was scuttled when Stone came in and cast Michelle Pfeiffer. But... Pfeiffer had bowed out when she became pregnant with her second child, and Alan Parker was considering Glenn Close. Madonna put on a full-court press, sending Parker a four-page letter explaining why she was right for the project and enclosing her music video for "Take a Bow." Parker said "none of the shit you walked in the door with when you met Oliver Stone, I'm in charge," and Webber insisted on vocal coaching, but she was in. Now the time was right.) And now, at last, they closed ranks on the final script. There was one final bit of wrangling about the authorship of that script; Parker claimed he had ignored previous drafts of the film and the stage version, preferring to start fresh with the concept album and incorporate whatever TR and ALW wanted from there as it worked with his plans, but Oliver Stone found what he saw as significant contributions of his in Parker's script. A legal dispute and arbitration by the Writers Guild of America resulted in Parker and Stone sharing screenwriting credit. A mixed victory, to be sure, but at least two visions of the film sort of won out in the end. And that's all they wrote. Enjoy!
2020.01.26 00:13 -en-@AFP: RT @AFPceleb: Spanish actress Penelope Cruz, director Pedro Almodovar (winner of Best Original Script), and actor Antonio Banderas and his partner Nicole Kimpel attend the #Goya2020 awards 📷 @GABRIELBOUYS, @JG_AFP https://t.co/MMoZ8IoyLo
All times EASTERN SUNDAY, NOV. 17 AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS – “3008” – It’s a Thanksgiving celebration on “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” including a woman who is grossed out by having to prepare a turkey for dinner and a little boy who is thankful for dinosaurs; plus, selfies gone wrong and people getting scared. (7:00-8:00 p.m.) KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS – “Turkey in Space” – In a special Thanksgiving-themed episode, Tiffany shares her favorite Turkey Day traditions and films an infomercial for “Gobble Gobble Wrapping Paper” with kids who frantically gift wrap everything from Thanksgiving leftovers to a live turkey. Later, Tiffany and an 8-year-old girl pitch movie ideas to her big shot Hollywood director friend Jack McBrayer (“30 Rock”). (8:00-9:00 p.m.) TUESDAY, NOV. 19 THE CONNERS – “Slappy Holidays” – Chaos ensues when Dan finally gets the entire family together for Thanksgiving dinner. Mixed feelings about the Lunch Box continue to build tension in the house, and Harris makes an unexpected move. Guest starring is Eliza Bennett as Odessa. (8:00-8:30 p.m.) WEDNESDAY, NOV. 20 THE GOLDBERGS – “Angst-Giving” – Even though Beverly’s patience with Pop Pop is put to the test due to his endless Thanksgiving demands, she is able to put aside her own feelings to help heal the long-standing rift between Murray and Pop Pop. Meanwhile, Barry and Erica are ready to return home for the holiday, but Uncle Marvin accidentally drives them to Pittsburgh. Marvin attempts to make it right not knowing if they will make it to Jenkintown in time to celebrate the holiday. Judd Hirsch and Dan Fogler return to guest star as Pop Pop and Uncle Marvin, respectively. (8:00-8:30 p.m.) SCHOOLED – “Friendsgiving” – CB celebrates Thanksgiving by having all of William Penn rally around him after a cooking incident at his house, while the alumni faculty football game brings out the competitive sides of Wilma and Coach Mellor. (8:30-9:00 p.m.) MODERN FAMILY – “The Last Thanksgiving” – Cameron and Mitchell’s friends mistakenly assume they have split up and have definitely chosen a side, and Haley attempts to cook Thanksgiving dinner as a thank you for Claire and Phil’s support with the twins. Meanwhile, Jay invites Phil and Dylan out to fly his model plane, and Phil thinks this is his chance to reclaim his dignity after their first outing 10 years ago went so wrong. (9:00-9:31 p.m.) SINGLE PARENTS – “Every Thursday Should Be Like This” – When Will gets busy cooking Thanksgiving dinner at Douglas’ home, he asks Angie to hang out with Tracy Freeze (guest star Jama Williamson). Angie reluctantly does so, only to realize that Tracy is actually wonderful, except for a secret she’s keeping from Will. Meanwhile, Miggy shows up to Thanksgiving dinner with the kids’ teacher, Ms. Pronstroller (Sarah Yarkin), as his date, and he enlists Douglas’ assistance in helping them form an in-person connection, given all of their previous communication has been via texts, DMs and memes. (9:31-10:00 p.m.) STUMPTOWN – “November Surprise” – Dex goes undercover after she is hired by a local politician to dig up dirt on his political opponent. Meanwhile, Grey and Liz’s romance continues, and Dex celebrates Friendsgiving with the group. (10:00-11:00 p.m.) WEDNESDAY, NOV. 27 A CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVING – In the 1973 special, “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving,” created by late cartoonist Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown wants to do something special for the gang. However, the dinner he arranges is a disaster when the caterers, Snoopy and Woodstock, prepare toast and popcorn as the main dish. Humiliated, it will take all of Marcie’s persuasive powers to salvage the holiday for Charlie Brown. A special bonus cartoon from Charles M. Schulz, “This Is America, Charlie Brown: The Mayflower Voyagers,” will air with the Peanuts classic, in which history comes to animated screen life in a captivating and informative program about the Mayflower voyagers. The special will air with Spanish audio via SAP. In “This Is America, Charlie Brown: The Mayflower Voyagers,” the year is 1620. After 65 grueling, sea-tossed days, the Pilgrims are in view of America’s shores – and Charlie Brown and the Peanuts crew are with them as they experience firsthand the lifestyle of the early settlers and celebrate the first Thanksgiving. (8:00-9:00 p.m.) THURSDAY, NOV. 28 THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY: MAGICAL HOLIDAY CELEBRATION – “The Wonderful World of Disney: Magical Holiday Celebration” kicks off the holiday season on ABC. Join celebrity hosts as they present the two-hour prime-time special on Thanksgiving night from Walt Disney World Resort in Florida and Disneyland Resort in California. This magical celebration will feature musical performances with some of today’s top artists among a flurry of Disney holiday entertainment. During the prime-time special, viewers will also be treated to several Disney Parks sneak peeks, including a behind-the-scenes look into future attractions coming to Walt Disney World Resort in Florida and Disneyland Resort in California. Hosts and performers to be confirmed at a later date. (8:00-10:00 p.m.) SUNDAY, DEC. 1 SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN – In the perennial favorite created in 1970 by Rankin-Bass Productions (“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” “Frosty the Snowman”), Fred Astaire narrates this timeless tale of Kris Kringle (Mickey Rooney), a young boy with an immense desire to do good things for others. The vocal cast features Mickey Rooney as Kris Kringle; Keenan Wynn as Winter; Paul Frees as Burgermeister Meisterburger, Grimsby, the soldiers and the townsmen; Joan Gardner as Tanta Kringle; Robie Lester as Jessica and Andrea Sacino; Dina Lynn, Gary White and Greg Thomas as the children. (8:00-9:00 p.m.) MONDAY, DEC. 2 THE GREAT CHRISTMAS LIGHT FIGHT – Season Premiere – “701/704” – ‘Tis the season for ABC’s immensely popular decorating competition series, “The Great Christmas Light Fight,” which continues to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year with celebrity judges—lifestyle expert Carter Oosterhouse and famed interior designer Taniya Nayak. Season seven of the holiday hit will once again showcase the most extravagant and utterly spectacular Christmas displays America has to offer! In each one-hour episode, four families with dazzling household displays will compete to win $50,000 and the coveted Light Fight trophy. (8:00-10:00 p.m.) TUESDAY, DEC. 3 CMA COUNTRY CHRISTMAS – Trisha Yearwood will host and perform on the 10th annual “CMA Country Christmas.” The two-hour music celebration features a night filled with Christmas classics and festive one-of-a-kind collaborations by Yearwood, Kristin Chenoweth, for KING & COUNTRY, Chris Janson, Tori Kelly, Lady Antebellum, Rascal Flatts, Runaway June, CeCe Winans, Brett Young and Chris Young. “CMA Country Christmas” is a production of the Country Music Association. Robert Deaton is the executive producer. (9:00-11:00 p.m.) THURSDAY, DEC. 5 A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS – Celebrate the joy of the holidays with the classic animated Christmas-themed PEANUTS special, “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” created by the late cartoonist Charles M. Schulz. In the digitally remastered 1965 special, Charlie Brown complains about the overwhelming materialism that he sees everywhere during the Christmas season. Lucy suggests that he become director of the school Christmas pageant and Charlie Brown accepts, but it proves to be a frustrating struggle. When an attempt to restore the proper spirit with a forlorn little fir Christmas tree fails, Charlie Brown needs Linus’ help to learn what the real meaning of Christmas is. In addition, another PEANUTS special based on the works of Charles Schulz, “Charlie Brown’s Christmas Tales,” will also air with the Emmy®-winning classic. (8:00-9:00 p.m.) SAME TIME, NEXT CHRISTMAS – In this original holiday film, Olivia Anderson (played by Lea Michele) is a successful young woman who met her childhood sweetheart during her family’s annual Christmas visit to Hawaii. After being separated by distance and years, the two reunite at the same Hawaiian resort years later, and the old chemistry between them flares up anew—but circumstances conspire to keep them apart. “Same Time, Next Christmas” stars Lea Michele as Olivia Anderson, Charles Michael Davis as Jeff Williams, Bryan Greenberg as Gregg Harris, George Newbern as Woody Anderson, Nia Vardalos as Faye Anderson, Phil Morris as Alec Williams and Dannah Lockett as Madelyn Williams. (9:00-11:00 p.m.) MONDAY, DEC. 9 THE GREAT CHRISTMAS LIGHT FIGHT – “703/706” – “The Great Christmas Light Fight” showcases the most extravagant and utterly spectacular Christmas displays America has to offer! (8:00-10:00 p.m.) TUESDAY, DEC. 10 THE CONNERS – “Smoking Penguins and Santa on Santa action” – Dan is disappointed when everyone but Becky forgets about his birthday. Meanwhile, Darlene is faced with another issue, and Dan excludes Jackie from the family Christmas Santa photo for mistreating Louise. Guest starring is Katey Sagal as Louise, Jay R. Ferguson as Ben and James Pickens Jr. as Chuck. (8:00-8:30 p.m.) BLESS THIS MESS – “Goose Glazing Time” – Mike and Rio are thrilled about having their first Christmas alone together as a married couple, but a wrench is thrown into their romanticized holiday plans as they are interrupted by crisis after crisis. Meanwhile, Kay invites Beau home for Christmas so that they can give Jacob a proper holiday. (8:30-9:00 p.m.) MIXED-ISH – “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” – Alicia and Paul strive to maintain their winter solstice traditions from the commune, but their parents want to have a more traditional Christmas with the kids. Meanwhile, Alicia’s dad, Lynwood (guest star Richard Lawson), competes with Harrison to be the kids’ favorite grandad. (9:00-9:30 p.m.) BLACK-ISH – “Father Christmas” – Pops doesn’t do Christmas, so when he shows up to the house full of holiday cheer with Lynette (Loretta Devine), Dre is thrown off. Pops wants to make up for lost time and go all out this Christmas. The whole family gets into the holiday spirit until someone from Lynette’s past shows up. Anthony Anderson directed the episode. (9:30-10:00 p.m.) WEDNESDAY, DEC. 11 THE GOLDBERGS – “It’s a Wonderful Life” – Hoping to outdo the Kremp family, Beverly decides the Goldbergs must do an even better family holiday card, but Geoff is surprised he is not invited to be in the photo. Meanwhile, a pranking war with Barry and JTP quickly spirals out of control. (8:00-8:30 p.m.) MODERN FAMILY – “The Last Christmas” – Cameron is hoping to keep everyone happy for their annual Christmas dinner, but Mitchell is suspicious he is hiding an ulterior motive. Meanwhile, Claire tries to dodge Jay’s job offer to work at his dog bed company and Luke has to deal with the consequences of kissing Manny’s ex-girlfriend, Sherri. (9:00-9:31 p.m.) SINGLE PARENTS – “Good Holidays to You” – When Graham writes a letter to Santa asking for either a white Christmas or to meet his father, Angie goes on a mission to find snow in Southern California with the help of Will and Sophie. Meanwhile, after Rory, Emma and Amy find out that Poppy and Douglas are romantically involved, the kids use this knowledge to their advantage to guilt their parents into buying them more Christmas presents. (9:31-10:00 p.m.) THURSDAY, DEC. 12 OLAF’S FROZEN ADVENTURE – In “Olaf’s Frozen Adventure,” Olaf (voice of Josh Gad) teams up with Sven on a merry mission. It’s the first holiday season since the gates reopened and Anna (voice of Kristen Bell) and Elsa (voice of Idina Menzel) host a celebration for all of Arendelle. When the townspeople unexpectedly leave early to enjoy their individual holiday customs, the sisters realize they have no family traditions of their own. So, Olaf sets out to comb the kingdom to bring home the best traditions, and save Anna and Elsa’s “first Christmas in forever.” “Olaf’s Frozen Adventure” features the original cast of Arendelle characters, including Olaf, voiced by Josh Gad (“Marshall,” “Book of Mormon”); Anna, voiced by Kristen Bell (“Frozen,” “Bad Moms”); Elsa, voiced by Idina Menzel (Broadway’s “Wicked,” “Rent” and “If/Then”; Fox’s “Glee”); and Kristoff, voiced by Jonathan Groff (Broadway’s “Hamilton,” Netflix’s “Mindhunter”). (8:00-8:30 p.m.) TOY STORY THAT TIME FORGOT – Pixar Animation Studios’ special for television, “Toy Story That Time Forgot,” features your favorite characters from the “Toy Story” films. During a post-Christmas play date, the “Toy Story” gang finds themselves in uncharted territory when the coolest set of action figures ever turn out to be dangerously delusional. It’s all up to Trixie the triceratops if the gang hopes to return to Bonnie’s room in this “Toy Story That Time Forgot.” The cast includes Tom Hanks as Woody, Tim Allen as Buzz, Kristen Schaal as Trixie, Kevin McKidd (“Grey’s Anatomy”) as Reptillus Maximus, Wallace Shawn as Rex, Timothy Dalton as Mr. Pricklepants, Don Rickles as Mr. Potato Head and Joan Cusack as Jessie. (8:30-9:00 p.m.) THE GREAT AMERICAN BAKING SHOW: HOLIDAY EDITION – Season Premiere – “Cake and Bread Week” – On your marks, get set, bake! The most festive and friendliest competition on television returns with hosts Emma Bunton (Spice Girls) and Anthony “Spice” Adams, and judges Paul Hollywood (“The Great British Baking Show”) and three-time James Beard Award-winning pastry chef Sherry Yard. The heat is on when 10 bakers enter the tent in the two-hour season five premiere of “The Great American Baking Show: Holiday Edition.” Based on the hit U.K. series “The Great British Baking Show,” “The Great American Baking Show: Holiday Edition” features bakers from across the country battling through 24 total challenges with six challenges throughout each two-hour themed episode, all in the hopes of being crowned “America’s Best Amateur Baker.” (9:00-11:00 p.m.) FRIDAY, DEC. 13 AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE – “The Bromance Before Christmas” – Katie looks forward to sharing her favorite childhood Christmas tradition with Taylor, but a surprise visit from her mom, Kathryn (Wendie Malick), threatens her holiday cheer. Meanwhile, Greg is blindsided by Katie’s good intentions; and to make matters worse, Oliver and Anna-Kat break a family heirloom. (8:00-8:30 p.m.) FRESH OFF THE BOAT – “Jessica Town” – Jessica is thriving in the merriment of Christmas, the time of year she takes full control of the household and everything is perfect until Louis does the unthinkable—tries to help, turning her Christmas dream into a holiday nightmare. Meanwhile, Eddie, Emery and Evan find themselves on the naughty list for breaking an expensive gift, which might just require the assistance of elves, or Grandma Huang, to fix. (8:30-9:00 p.m.) SUNDAY, DEC. 15 THE SOUND OF MUSIC – ABC will air the Rodgers & Hammerstein cinematic treasure “The Sound of Music.” Celebrate the Oscar®-winning classic with popular favorites “Edelweiss,” ”My Favorite Things,” “Climb Every Mountain,” “Do-Re-Mi,” “Sixteen Going on Seventeen,” “The Lonely Goatherd” and “The Sound of Music.” (7:00-11:00 p.m.) MONDAY, DEC. 16 THE GREAT CHRISTMAS LIGHT FIGHT – Season Finale – “702/705” – “The Great Christmas Light Fight” showcases the most extravagant and utterly spectacular Christmas displays America has to offer! (8:00-10:00 p.m.) TUESDAY, DECEMBER 17 SHREK THE HALLS – DreamWorks Animation’s “Shrek the Halls,” a half-hour of entertainment starring America’s favorite ogre and his friends, features the voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas. Just when Shrek thought he could finally sit back, relax and enjoy his happily ever after with his new family, the most joyous of all holidays arrives. It’s Christmas Eve and everyone is filled with holiday cheer—except for Shrek. He isn’t exactly the picture of yuletide joy, but for the sake of Fiona and the kids, he tries to get into the spirit of things as only an ogre can. Unfortunately, everyone seems to have their own ideas about what Christmas is all about, so when Donkey, Puss In Boots, Gingerbread Man and the whole gang try to join in on the fun, Shrek’s plans for a cozy family celebration end up spiraling into one truly unforgettable Christmas. (9:30-10:00 p.m.) THURSDAY, DEC. 19 DISNEY PREP & LANDING – Walt Disney Animation Studios brings you a half-hour holiday special tale of an elite unit of elves known as Prep & Landing. After working tirelessly on Prep & Landing for 227 years, an elf named Wayne is upset when he doesn’t receive an expected promotion to be the Director of Naughty List Intelligence. Instead, Magee, the North Pole Christmas Eve Command Center Coordinator (NPCECCC for short), partners Wayne with Lanny, an idealistic rookie who has an undying enthusiasm for Christmas. During their Christmas Eve mission, Wayne and Lanny encounter unexpected challenges that push them to their limits. Will the elves be able to guide Dasher, Dancer and the rest of the reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh through a raging snowstorm to ensure a merry Christmas for all? (8:00-8:30 p.m.) DISNEY PREP & LANDING 2: NAUGHTY VS. NICE – The yuletide adventures of Christmas elves Lanny and Wayne continue. With the Big 2-5 fast approaching, Wayne and Lanny must race to recover classified North Pole technology that has fallen into the hands of a computer-hacking Naughty Kid! Desperate to prevent Christmas from descending into chaos, Wayne seeks out the foremost Naughty Kid expert to aid in the mission, a bombastic member of the Coal Elf Brigade who also happens to be his estranged brother, Noel. (8:30-9:00 p.m.) THE GREAT AMERICAN BAKING SHOW: HOLIDAY EDITION – “Spice and Dessert Week” – Eight bakers return to the tent this week. First up, “Spice Week” with the bakers challenged to create sweet and savory creations using spices. From cinnamon to saffron, the bakers put their best spice flavor combinations together. “Dessert Week” has the bakers creating delicious delicacies like cakes and cookies, including one of Paul Hollywood’s toughest challenges yet! (9:00-11:00 p.m.) SUNDAY, DEC. 22 I WANT A DOG FOR CHRISTMAS, CHARLIE BROWN – “I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown” centers on ReRun, the lovable but ever-skeptical younger brother of Linus and Lucy. It’s Christmas vacation and, as usual, ReRun’s big sister is stressing him out, so he decides to turn to his best friend, Snoopy, for amusement and holiday cheer. However, his faithful but unpredictable beagle companion has plans of his own, giving ReRun reason to ask Snoopy to invite his canine brother, Spike, for a visit. The cast of “I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown!” includes Jimmy Bennett as ReRun, Adam Taylor Gordon as Charlie Brown, Ashley Rose Orr as Lucy Van Pelt, Corey Padnos as Linus Van Pelt, Hannah Leigh Dworkin as Sally, Nick Price as Schroeder, Jake Miner as Pig Pen/Franklin, Kaitlyn Maggio as the little girl and Bill Melendez as Snoopy. (7:00-8:00 p.m.) KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS – On a special holiday episode, Tiffany chats with the kids about their favorite holiday traditions. Later, Tiffany plays Santa’s helper to find out who is on the "Nice List,” and celebrates an 8-year-old magician who proves that big tricks can come in small packages. (8:00-9:00 p.m.) THE YEAR: 2019 – ABC NEWS – “The Year: 2019” (9:00-11:00 p.m.) WEDNESDAY, DEC. 25 DISNEY PARKS MAGICAL CHRISTMAS DAY PARADE – “Disney Parks Magical Christmas Day Parade” continues Disney’s annual Christmas morning celebration tradition, on ABC. Join celebrity hosts for the two-hour Christmas day special as they follow the famous Christmas Day Parade down Main Street U.S.A., featuring performances by some of today’s top artists across Walt Disney World Resort in Florida and Disneyland Resort in California. Also during the Christmas Day Parade, viewers will be treated to several Disney Parks sneak peeks, including a behind-the-scenes look into future attractions coming to Walt Disney World Resort in Florida and Disneyland Resort in California. Hosts and performers to be confirmed at a later date. (10:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.) THURSDAY, DEC. 26 HAPPY NEW YEAR, CHARLIE BROWN – ABC and the PEANUTS gang will ring in the new year with the animated PEANUTS special “Happy New Year, Charlie Brown,” created by late cartoonist Charles M. Schulz, along with “She’s a Good Skate, Charlie Brown.” In “Happy New Year, Charlie Brown,” the PEANUTS gang is ringing in 1986, and Marcie and Peppermint Patty are throwing a big New Year’s Eve bash. Charlie Brown plans to celebrate the holiday by curling up with a big book that weighs nearly as much as he does, Tolstoy’s “War and Peace.” The book’s weight doesn’t stop him from lugging it to Lucy’s pre-party dance class, where he cuts a mean rug with a rollicking Patty. With just 1131 pages to go, Charlie Brown takes another break, this time for the party, and summons the courage to invite his true love, the little red-haired girl. She doesn’t respond, but hapless Chuck shows up anyway—with Tolstoy in tow. Then, he settles down with the book—on a porch swing in a snowstorm—and in so doing, misses the evening’s big surprise. In “She’s a Good Skate, Charlie Brown,” disaster strikes as Peppermint Patty heads to her first major ice-skating competition with coach Snoopy and faithful companion, Marcie, by her side. As always, the unassuming Woodstock flies in to save the day (8:00-9:00 p.m.) THE GREAT AMERICAN BAKING SHOW: HOLIDAY EDITION – “Pastry and Cookie Week” – The bakers are back and this week they are challenged to create deliciously flaky and flavorful pastries, as well as holiday cookies perfect for any Christmas celebration. (9:00-11:00 p.m.) MONDAY, DEC. 31 DICK CLARK’S PRIMETIME NEW YEAR’S ROCKIN’ EVE WITH RYAN SEACREST 2020 – (Beginning at 8 p.m.) WEDNESDAY, JAN. 2 THE GREAT AMERICAN BAKING SHOW: HOLIDAY EDITION – Season Finale – “Semi-Final and Final” – The final five bakers remain. With six challenges ahead for these contestants to wow the judges, the pressure is greater than ever before. In the end, only one can be named “America’s Best Amateur Baker.” Find out who wins on the season finale of “The Great American Baking Show: Holiday Edition.” (9:00-11:00 p.m.)
2019.10.27 01:03 autotldrPanama Papers law firm founders 'investigated by the FBI' - ICIJ
This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 69%. (I'm a bot)
U.S. prosecutors are investigating the founders of offshore law firm Mossack Fonseca, it's claimed in court documents freshly filed in a bid to prevent Netflix from releasing its star-studded film The Laundromat this week. The pair, partners in the offshore law firm whose confidential files were exposed in the Panama Papers, are suing Netflix for defamation over the film, in which they are played respectively by Antonio Banderas and Gary Oldman. Separately, an attorney for Mossack and Fonseca wrote that releasing the film may make it difficult for the pair to obtain a fair trial in the United States. Mossack and Fonseca have asked a Connecticut judge to stop Netflix from showing the film in cinemas or releasing it to subscribers without a disclaimer that the duo have never been convicted of a crime and without approval to use the former law firm's logo. The complaint also alleges that Mossack, Fonseca and the law firm are portrayed as having a connection to crimes committed by a Latin American drug cartel, a Russian gangster and a wealthy African mogul. The 2016 Panama Papers investigation centered on 11.5 million records leaked from Mossack Fonseca that revealed how politicians, business leaders, celebrities and criminals operated through hard-to-trace shell companies in tax havens.
2019.10.22 02:35 OldmanRevivedi saw three movies (The Laundromat, Little Monsters, 3 From Hell)
first up was The Laundromat you could describe "The Laundromat" as Steven Soderbergh's riff on "The Big Short," since it attempts to have the same type of edge and consistence of three separate but concurrent stories, loosely connected by their actions. the difference is, that movie tackled a difficult subject with a very palpable attention to detail. "The Laundromat" tries to feed us all of the answers on a subject that it doesn't really know much about, which is why it's so easy for the movie to lose its train of thought. while taking creative licence into account, it acts more as a refresher to what you learned in economics class than a deeper look into the Panama Papers. when her idyllic vacation takes an unthinkable turn, Ellen (Meryl Streep) begins investigating a fake insurance policy, only to find herself down a rabbit hole of questionable dealings that can be linked to a Panama City law firm and its vested interest in helping the world's wealthiest citizens amass larger fortunes. founding partners Jürgen Mossack (Gary Oldman) and Ramón Fonseca (Antonio Banderas) are experts in the seductive ways shell companies and offshore accounts help the rich and powerful prosper. they are about to show us that Ellen's predicament only hints at the tax evasion, bribery and other illicit absurdities that the wealthy indulge in to support the world's corrupt financial system. other cases seem to indicate ethical if not legal impropriety: tax avoidance in very poor countries by wealthy entities and individuals, for example. zipping through a kaleidoscope of detours, we're taken into the other areas that are struck by financial greed, including China, Mexico, and Africa. these are in no way related to the Panama Papers, they're just fictional stories that try to lend their own version of the theme at hand. bribery comes into play, but at very little cost. we're caught off guard when Meryl Streep's story and character step away from being the main focus. she begins as if she's going to serve some sort of legitimate purpose for being in the movie at all, but then she's crumpled up and tossed along with the others, who are just distractions from the matter that was set up to begin with. this is what happens when you're given a topic for an essay, but you don't do enough research. you can try to wing it, but that won't get you very far. i was also thrown off by the numerous appearances by Oldman and Banderas, who are always placed in front of backdrops that could be used for an Old Spice commercial. they wink and nudge shoulders with the audience, feeling as if they're leaving a lasting impression on us. but in all honesty it just felt like an awkward attempt at revising those sequences from "The Big Short" that simplified the economics of its plot for the viewers. the strangest fourth-wall break occurs in a bar scene, where Gary Oldman notices the switch in camera angles, and has to signal Banderas on where to look. how did he know about that? wouldn't both cameras have to be recording at the same time? or was it just one camera that magically shifted during the middle of the conversation? these mistakes have more depth than the actual subject of the movie. not a good sign. when the movie suddenly shifts back into the regular story, it dramatizes the mysterious whistleblower John Doe, who who turned over 11.5 million documents from the law firm Mossack Fonseca. as in real life, he stays in the shadows, and we're only given a recitation of his issued statement which explained his reasoning. Doe made the files public to underline growing income inequality and financial corruption globally. the exposé has offered to help prosecutors build their cases, on condition of legal protection. he remains anonymous, even to the journalists who worked on the investigation. "The Laundromat" doesn't even inform us on the numerous other people that were involved with the case. instead, it tries to conjure up its own conspiracy on the matter, which is a fault on writer Scott Z. Burns' part. "The Laundromat" is well made on account of Soderbergh's cinematography, and the acting is strong and solid all the way through, but it tries stitching together parts that don't connect well. take a look at the articles that were written during that period, and you'll most likely gain more insight than the movie is willing to give. it generates a lot of energy, and gives off little light in the process. a proper story involving crime capers shouldn't be as thin and unconvincing as this. ditch the attitude, and you'll have a much better result. as it stands, this is a bold experiment in style and technique that doesn’t work, which is actually more depressing than the sight of my bank account. next up was Little Monsters i've always wondered something about the pathological nature of zombies. how can they be so unaware of humans fending them off, yet be smart enough to see the living as fresh meat? remember the one sequence in "Shaun of the Dead," where the group attempted to evade zombies by pretending to be them? if it's that easy, why not just rub some leftover blood on your shirt to blend in? that could easily be resorted to in situations of extreme necessity. "Little Monsters" doesn't take this bit of trivia into account, mostly because it would stand in the way of being a horror fairy tale gone wild. since the plot involves zombification, that already gives you an idea of how casually insane it's going to be. Dave (Alexander England) is a foul-mouthed child trapped in a grown man's body. he tricks himself into believing that he's a professional musician, and after going through a rough break up with his girlfriend, is forced to stay with his sister Tess (Kat Stewart) and her son, Felix (Diesel La Torraca). being the slob that he is, Dave mooches off of his sister and uses her house as his own stomping ground. he begrudgingly agrees to pull more weight, and starts by dropping Felix off at school. there, he meets Miss Caroline (Lupita Nyong'o), Felix’s kindergarten teacher, and is attracted to her. after a parent drops out from an upcoming field trip to a farm, Dave volunteers to chaperone, mostly to be near Caroline. on the day of the field trip, the class is surprised to learn that children’s television personality Teddy McGiggle (Josh Gad) is filming his show there. decked in a polka dot suit, and with a cheap hand puppet by his side, Teddy tries harder than necessary to give a wide smile and put on a show for the kids. meanwhile, in a conveniently placed U.S. testing facility nearby, zombies break out of hibernation and head straight for the farm. induce a deathlike state, with their psychological capabilities preserved somewhere else, they pull their usual gig by exhibiting attitudes of low affect. during a tractor ride, the class is attacked by zombies and tries to escape, only to find the whole farm overrun with them. the panic-stricken Miss Caroline frantically implores the children to keep calm, and later starts a charade by treating the whole outbreak as a little game. the spreading zombie plague swamps over the field trip, trickling down as the refugees find a safe zone. to prevent further engagements in a general assault on civilization, the troops brainstorm ideas on how they can wipe out the zombies. they come up with a perfect solution, which only limits the time or chances that the class has of survival. the movie then reaches a tone akin to "Night of the Living Dead," with some characters presenting themselves as collectively calm and resourceful while others falling into a stupor of shock and insanity. the transitions between horror and comedy are easily gradual, usually carried by Lupita Nyong'o and her ability to let nothing disrupt the peacefulness of her established mood. the other occupants, mainly kids, have attention spans that are too poor, which makes their contemplation of this particular situation difficult. they drift along without a moment's hesitation, and their momentum is slowly carrying some sort of distance to an upgrade. of course, there is increased panic once the zombies press up against the windows and attempt to pound their way in. Dave, on the other hand, is checking his defenses, by force of old habit rather than hope. he also returns the classic hidden rule of zombie movies: if a character brings their massive guitar with them everywhere they go, it will most certainly be used as a weapon. "Little Monsters" could have easily gone by the numbers with its plot line, but the movie brings a lot of intelligence and wit. the teasing sensibility blends in well with the dark satirical humor and suspenseful terror. most of all, it rips the hearts from the zombies and mushes them into the human characters. while that description may be a little grotesque, it gets a point across. the didacticism usually found in horror media is attuned more to the feeling of a child's imagination. too many zombie movies want to latch themselves into the real world, when they should try harder to be works of pure fantasy. we've all grown weary of seeing humans chase after them with chainsaws and shotguns. why not take it up a notch and give us a child in his Darth Vader costume rushing towards the masses? Josh Gad's portrayal of the television host is a morality play between sugar-coated niceness and fault-ridden disturbance. he can speak to them easily through a screen, but when he's placed in front of a real group, the smile fades. it's also not a surprise when we're shown the fuel that keeps him going: numerous amounts of tiny liquor bottles hidden in his suit pocket. aside from the vulgarity slips and multiple sights of blood splattering, "Little Monsters" operates on a kitsch of darlingness and innocence. the movie knows that zombie fiction is better off being child's play, and uses that to its full advantage. last up was 3 From Hell there is not a doubt in my mind that Rob Zombie was the kind of kid who liked to poke at dead things with a stick. like the characters he creates for his movies, Zombie is someone who seeks social prominence through aggressive, fawning, or obsequious behavior. "3 From Hell," his latest creation at the slaughter house, follows "House of 1000 Corpses" and "The Devi's Rejects." the first film being a schlocky wannabe version of several horror movies that inspired Rob Zombie as a filmmaker, and the second being a much better example of his roots. nowadays, when a movie claims to be the most shocking or sickening thing you'll ever see, it turns out to be an overstatement. Zombie tries his hardest to make that statement a reality. he likes his celluloid to be scratched up with bloody, dark, and gruesome imagery, as well as the most socially offensive language that can be uttered in the span of two hours. if none of this sounds appealing, there won't be any way for me to convince you that "3 From Hell" is an enjoyable movie. it's borderline schizophrenic, beyond the pale, a hideously violent shocker that lacks any redeeming quality for its own characters. i don't like the movie simply because it's a complete gore show. i like it because Zombie knows how to extract relevance and nuance with his exploitative material. on a subtle level, the film tries to strike a brutally raw nerve while also getting into the mind of its killers. they are Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie), Otis (Bill Moseley), and Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig). also known as the Firefly family, they are responsible for over 75 homicides and disappearances over the past several years. taking off from the events of the previous film, they will be tried for their crimes. the trial is widely covered nationwide and becomes a cause célèbre, resulting in the organization of protests that insist the trio's innocence. despite this, all three are found guilty and sentenced to life in prison. in addition to the final verdict, Captain Spaulding is executed via lethal injection. however, Otis is reunited with his half-brother, Winslow (Richard Brake), who helps him escape from jail. meanwhile, Baby unsuccessfully seeks parole, as her mental state has further deteriorated since her incarceration. playing a key role in the first half is warden Virgil Harper (Jeff Daniel Phillips), who puts up a one-man-battle against these urban climes. the three are undecided as to what to do next, but eventually decide to flee to Mexico, a decision that is made more pressing due to the several henchmen in tow. Rob Zombie not only sets this trilogy in the 1970s, but shoots in a grainy style that would normally be found in the campiest horror films of the period. his workflow quality has improved as well, since he's imminently more focused on the scenarios themselves rather than the outcome. the main crew is written with more detail, although they still use profanity as if it's a sign of sophistication. an example comes during one scene that takes place in a hotel room, where Baby and Otis contemplate what they're doing, and try to decide whether or not it will all be worth it in the end. they're confused because they have never spent a day of their lives being ruled under the system. they don't need real jobs, or friends, or hobbies, or personal hygiene. their only function is murder, and for a moment, we sense that they've become bored of their own system. you'd be surprised at how long the film goes without throwing violence in your face. once they travel down to Mexico, there's a sense of genuine calmness. they almost test themselves to see if they can resist pulling the knives or guns out of their pockets. in fact, during an earlier sequence, Baby has a conversation with a man who saw her image on television. he's obviously left for the worms, but it's only implied. this is the only scene where the movie wouldn't be proud to show us blood squirts. kudos to Zombie for his surprising amount of restraint. "3 From Hell" is, like all other Rob Zombie movies, silly, sleezy, and monstrously crude. but, at the same time, it also holds a certain kind of warped charm. it is hard to fully grasp at the director's maniacally farcical sense of humor, and how much you'll enjoy its deliberate savagery depends on how far you're willing to let yourself regress to Zombie's inherent vision. when we address his characters as snot-nosed freaks, they do not take it as an insult, but a treasure of pride. you can dismiss the picture all you want, but there's no denying Zombie's joy of poking fun where others fear to tread. if you require a barf bag on an average flight, this is not the movie for you.
2019.10.18 10:30 mi-16evilOfficial Discussion: The Laundromat [SPOILERS]
If you've seen the film, please rate itat this poll. If you haven't seen the film but would like to see the result of the pollclick here.
Click hereto see rankings for 2019 films Click hereto see rankings for every poll done Summary: Ellen Martin's dream vacation takes a wrong turn when her life savings disappear. This leads her down a rabbit hole of shady dealings that can all be traced to one Panama City law firm, run by seductive partners Jürgen Mossack and Ramón Fonseca. She soon learns that her minor predicament is only a drop in the bucket of millions of files linking an off-shore tax scheme to the world's richest and most powerful political leaders. Director: Steven Soderbergh Writers: screenplay by Scott Z. Burns based on the book by Jake Bernstein Cast:
2019.10.17 03:03 autotldrPanama Papers law firm founders ‘investigated by the FBI’
This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 69%. (I'm a bot)
U.S. prosecutors are investigating the founders of offshore law firm Mossack Fonseca, it's claimed in court documents freshly filed in a bid to prevent Netflix from releasing its star-studded film The Laundromat this week. The pair, partners in the offshore law firm whose confidential files were exposed in the Panama Papers, are suing Netflix for defamation over the film, in which they are played respectively by Antonio Banderas and Gary Oldman. Separately, an attorney for Mossack and Fonseca wrote that releasing the film may make it difficult for the pair to obtain a fair trial in the United States. Mossack and Fonseca have asked a Connecticut judge to stop Netflix from showing the film in cinemas or releasing it to subscribers without a disclaimer that the duo have never been convicted of a crime and without approval to use the former law firm's logo. The complaint also alleges that Mossack, Fonseca and the law firm are portrayed as having a connection to crimes committed by a Latin American drug cartel, a Russian gangster and a wealthy African mogul. The 2016 Panama Papers investigation centered on 11.5 million records leaked from Mossack Fonseca that revealed how politicians, business leaders, celebrities and criminals operated through hard-to-trace shell companies in tax havens.
2019.08.15 13:53 NeraletLooking for your teams - inspiration, cool ideas, stuff from your table - what have you got?
Hola amigos! I run a 3e game playing once a week, for a few hours.. the curse of growing up and having families - it's been getting harder to get free time at mutually convenient points. We started in December '16, and occasionally miss weeks because of holidays and such like, but we're up to session 103 now, so we're making progress, and the team are coming along nicely. After every weeks game, I write up the action as a narrative - link if you're curious: https://www.dropbox.com/s/wpj9vw5v1i8ciqf/Smuggler%20master%20story.pdf?dl=0 My players in my smuggler game have just reached their first proper smuggler nexus, and are about to meet a bunch of other teams. I have a selection ready to go, but would love some inspiration - so who better to ask than you lot! And then I thought - if I post up the details of my teams, from current game and previous, it might help some other GM who needs a quick drop of inspiration or a skeleton to build on. So - our game is currently focussed on eastern Europe / the black sea and the 'Stans. The team have reached a smuggler base just north of Volgograd - so the Smugglers will mostly be working the New Silk Road. The teams I have in the smuggler base for initial meetings are: The Paladin (team buzzed between Baku and the ranch, episode 86)
Black T-bird with RAMS, ECM, ED. Has active countermeasures, and a pair of waist mounted miniguns, along with a forward mounted missile rack and autocannon. Cargo space is tight. They are a well known and regarded team, with good skills and firepower. Rep 4, Threat 4
Eddie "Knight" Taggart - Captain, human male, average height, slightly overweight, long dank dark hair, decker with a R7 deck, Essence 2 (some wires, maths co-pro, skillwires, datajacks)
Sharon "Potty" Cutts - Pilot, human female, very tall, very broad, pockmarked skin from acid splashes, beta VCR3, eyes, comms, remote deck 5
Torth "Nuke" Smith - Mage, male troll, average size, essence 6, grade 4 (Masking, Anchoring, Improved Anchoring, Warding Specialist) - some high force combat spells, vehicle masks, improved reflexes
Garzut "Red" - Ork, burly, street sam - wires 2, dermal armour, datajack, SL2, Tae Kwon Do (world class), Browning Pistol, Auto-rifle, Gunnery
Gozara "Blue" - Ork, burly, street sam - wires 2, dermal armour, datajack, SL2, Tae Kwon Do (world class), Browning Pistol, Auto-rifle, Gunnery
The Zephyr (Episode 69 in Constantinople)
The Zephyr - Heavily modified tilt wing kitted out for amphib operations, with a loading bay holding a number of jetskis in a drop bay. Equipped with Ruthpoly, extended fuel tanks, partial living amenities and the jetski, there is precious little cargo space left – mostly they courier information, 1-2 passengers or small high value cargo like software, bonds, stocks, gems etc. Team rep is ok, not well known, they work with only a few fixers on repeat jobs, building up good relationships with them. They are not particularly combat efficient and prefer to avoid trouble. Rep 2, Threat 1
Mustafa Basem – Captain / Pilot, B3 S3, Q5, I6,W6,C5, Dark swarthy appearance, pearly white teeth, almost luminous green eyes (natural), hawk like vision, very perceptive. Pistol with gel rounds (8M, 8 rounds), rigger deck – SK Industries Dominator, R6, BF4, Flux 2, IVIS, 60MP, PEM4, Enc 6, Dec 4, Amp 2
Farida Said – Engineer, B4, S5, Q4, I5,W4, C3, Also dark and swarthy, number of scars across face (acne) , strong mechanical skills and good with mechanics / electronics B/R
Hakim Toth – EW and mage, B3, S2, Q3, I6, W6, C5. Quickened spells for Stealth (5), Vehicle Mask (5) and Absorb RADAR (2). G2 hermetic mage focussed on quickening, also with Translate (2), Mass Blindness (5),
Business cards – They hand out small powered plastic cards that display a holographic zephyr that flows across the page.
Urban cammo Eurocopter, with internal extended fuel tanks, limited cargo space, very fast (425+kph), smart materials+nox III, EDs+ECMs, ruthenium polymers, high signature, both seats modified small, *tiny* cargo area. Team rep is good, they handle very small and high value cargos with an emphasis on stealth. Rep 3, Threat 2
Gordon "Gonzo" Wilberforce - Captain, Gnome male, vcr 1/face, strong home countries accents, biggles style, choppers 7, engineering 7
Hiro "Stabby" Haroshoto - Street-Sam, phys-ad dwarf with ambidex machine pistols / cougar small blades
Large articulated lorry, based on Conestega - reliable vehicle armour, plenty of room, comfy crew quarters, drone racks
Rockets team, good rep for "misc jobs", they are more Shadowrunners rather than Smugglers, though they'll do whatever pays. Known to have strong affiliation with Ares. Rep 3, Threat 4
Rocket, human, male, 29, face / sam, average face, good leadership, loves rocket launchers, skillwires+drivers, low reaction buff, blond, desert tan shirt and trousers, digger hat
Spangles, dwarf, female, 33, concealment and defensive wizard, hermetic, g4, sorcery only, selection of R6-8 spells, some extended, mostly non-lethal, hippy tie dye outfits - hermetic Ex-area, Trid phantasm 6, Cure disease 6, Heal 8, Chaff 6,
extended quickening for the trid phantasm, improved masking on the spell, spell specific power focus – trid phantasm – it’s ALL about the hiding
Mamma-bear, ork, female, 23, rigger, drives the heavy transport fitted with off-road tyres, r2 rigger, general skills, mid quality deck and systems, work overalls, blue denim
Topshot, elf, female, 45, sniper specialist, good concealment, has a macmillian 50 cal with apds and smartlink, good wires and all vision mods, ex-forces (france) now running as a merc – digimax cammo fatigues, ghillie suit, ruthenium R4, massaging liner
Blaster, ork, male, 16, heavy set ork, with deluxe gyromount and hmg with max recoil comp and +2 from strength, heavy padded jumpsuit in
Slapdash, human, 23, phys-add, g3 initiate, lots of great leap and fall, wall running and improved skill martial art – very high quickness and lightning fast movement, but not reactions
(Geo, Wee-woo, Spotlight, Digger went back to Oz to work on another job, and are separated from Rocket at the moment)
Geo, human, 25, female, decker, info support and comms specialist, also fixer, jeans and fleece, baseball cap –combat biker team
Wee-woo, human aboriginal shaman, 18,female, conjurer, not initiated, headstrong and can be a little foolish, spirits to F7
Spotlight, troll, male, rigger, drone specialist, good at surveillance and also doubles as HtH combat, has a bunch of aerial and ground support drones with up to LMG armed with ex-ex/HP, and one with AV for heavy use.
Digger, dwarf, male, 50s, mining and construction expert – was semi-retired, called in for expert support, skills slipping and mostly here for knowledge, jeans, suede jacket
These smugglers drive a converted tour bus. Hailing from Germany, they offer "tours" to Constantinople and various destinations in the Balkans - at least according to their matrix site. They often work with ID forgers, and move people (mostly voluntarily) as well as normal goods. Rep 2, Threat 2
Grimvald - Captain, Troll, male, Bear Shamen, G2, Masking, Invoking. Has a fantastic singing voice (centering) and plays the accordian pretty well, often will entertain people when stopped.
Karvak - japanese human male, VCR1 driver / gunner. Started life working on the bullet trains, and has taken their training to new levels of OCD. He now narrates most of his actions (which the other two have learnt to tune out), but drives others to distraction.
Dirshuk - Female, Troll, Street Sam, LMG on gyromount, rear HMG turret in the bus. Moody and prone to bouts of anger, she is in charge of keeping order on the bus when people are moving around. She has a wide variety of languages learnt - but only enough to shout at people to sit down and shut up. She's a foodie though, and her angry demeanour can be redirected very easily by application of sauerkraut or chocolate eclairs.
A mid sized chopper with massive external fuel tanks, capable of shifting moderate cargo at slow speeds over massive distances. The crew hail from Iberia, but range all up and down the med normally, but will go further afield as needed. The craft is lightly armoured and has countermeasures, but no offensive weapons. Rep 2, Threat 1
Pedro "Storm" - Human, male, pilot, not magically active but has no cyberware - just a very skilled and experienced pilot. Heavy pistol for self defence
Isabella "Dear" - Human, female, EW / face / operations - the wife certainly wears the trousers in this relationship, and she runs "the business"
"Magnifico" - an ally spirit of the teams former mage who went free and decided to stay - for reasons not fully understood by the other two. Helps with concealment of the craft, and has some moderate offensive spells. Manifests in a robe with *all* the trimmings. His former master died in a magical attack over Italy while he was running an errand, and he has massive guilt issues, so has decided to stay for a period of time to work off his debt. He has a pact with Pedro and Isabella, who share Karma with him as well.
A large ex-military hovercraft, the team operates only half a year - in poor weather, where their mobility is a real advantage. The craft is heavily armed and armoured, with a large cargo capacity - but needs a large crew to operate. It's not stealthy unless the shaman is on duty, in the slightest. Multiple HMGs and autocannons dot the craft, and at least one missile battery, and supposedly a torpedo launcher - all with somewhat nebulous permits from the captains KGB contacts. Rep 2, Threat 4
Ramius "Ivan" Gorbichek - human, male, headware comms, datajack and a little bioware, ex-KGB officer who decided to retire with a bunch of equipment and some men and give a capitalist business a go. Very thuggish, he is not a good negotiator, only average in a fight, but rules with a ruthless iron fist.
Grishar - shaman, grade 4, metamagics in invocation, chanelling, additional conjuring, sacrificial magic - follows dire-tiger and considered borderline toxic, he uses the spirits to help conceal the craft, and is a competent caster on his own - but uses his magic to drain "volunteers" to help with drain.
A dozen random ex soldiers - trained for engineering, cargo handling, combat - both HtH, small arms and larger weapons.
A high-performance tilt wing, moving small-mid sized cargo around Europe as far as the mid-russian steppes. They have moderate EW capability, light armaments and mostly rely on a very extensive set of contacts and forged beacons for easy access to airspace. Rep 4, Threat 2
Peter "Stripes" Mondrian - male elf rigger, VCR2, ex-commercial pilot who was an acrobatics pilot in his off time. Very charismatic, and well connected on the "grand tour" scene as a result of his promo work from the air races.
Nelly "Noodles" Van Hoost - human shaman, follower of Bacchus, has very high force create food / wine spells, as well as more expected items like vehicle mask / armour
Gem "Gemini" Romanov - female orc (human looking) bodyguard, actually very pretty, has been with Peter for several years, after he helped her escape from the Moscow sprawl to get her away from her KGB handler after a drugs deal went wrong. Titanium bone lacing, twin spurs with poison delivery channels. Expert in HtH with her spurs, she's also a crack shot with a shotgun that tends to have a wicked looking 50cm dikoted bayonet on the front when the going gets tough.
A group of 5 small choppers that operate as courier team, splitting appropriate cargos throughout their holds. They fly a collection of upgraded / converted news choppers, and frequently masquerade as the press to confuse customs / enforcement. No two craft are alike, but all are armed with lightweight missile systems disguised as "cameras". Rep 2, Threat 3
Ace - dwarf pilot, vcr1, team face/ captain, from France
Loop - human female, vcr 1, main team mechanic
Tacky - male orc, vcr 1, chief scrounger and fabricator, load master
Dolly - male human voodoo shaman, from New Orleans, dresses for the role, but often breaks character when he doesn't think outsiders are listening.
Fusion - troll female, the designated street sam, expert with chemicals and fuel systems but a massive pyromaniac, her chosen weapons are Shiawase Blazers. Two of em, strapped together. Because who doesn't like more fire?
My older teams from my Seattle based game are:Scav's crew - driving an extended Landrover 2046:
Scav the captain, Ork street sam with a vindictive side, a fear of magic and daddy issue
Nails, a street sam toting an LMG on a troll sized gyro harness, - Called Nails not because she's tough, but for her day job as a troll beauty therapist
Tommy Wu - Human mage/decker who follows Wujen, always has an enigmatic fortune cookie saying to hand
Teppic - Elf mage from Egypt, very traditional mage outlook / outfits, big into Apophis
Tex - Human Adept CQB, has a shotgun hidden in a guitar case a la Antonio Banderas, and finally
Skidmark - Ork demo / electronics guy, very random, uses C4 as chewing gum. Tends to be underpowered compared to the rest of the team because he never spent *any* Karma ever, but always can buy a gazillion successes when the chips are down as a result.
The Blackeyes - an all Female Elf group in an Ares Citymaster.
Blackeye the rigger (she's into being punched in the face - has the "masochism" flaw and frequents BDSM bars - but won't talk to strangers about it),
Grouch the street sam (twitchy wires), normally a sour face and lives up to her handle, even with the rest of the team - but absolutly solid.
Pixie the eagle shaman (traditional Sioux dress / culture) - unashamedly optimistic and "good", drags the team into jobs helping people out, but has a solid rep on the street as a result
Angel - medic/drone rigger (glowing green cybereyes and black jumpsuit with el-wire) - retired army Captain and runs now for spice and adventure - adrenaline junky
The Dukes - driving a Red Ranger hovercraft:
Duke, human male sniper (dresses like a chav - bling jewellery and a shell suit, aviator shades),
Duchess - his wife and a fellow street sam, dresses the same way,
Jester - female ork rigger (cyberarms with pop out auto-pistols, vcr 2 and wears a jesters costume) and
Riptide- male troll Leviathan shaman who carries a taser-trident and has his hair dyed green/blue
The Redlines - flying an Osprey II Tilt Wing, with
Redline the captain, female dwarf rigger, tends to redline her engines a lot (actually all the time),
Blackout - male ork decker (wears a flight suit and bone dome nearly all the time, gets vertigo/gloc a lot),
Thunder - male troll street sam, carries a 2 handed mace and a riot shield painted with blue electro-lightning)
Lighning - partner of Thunder, a female troll mage, blue white flowing robes over armoured plates and carries a stick with a knob on the end.... and
Pipp - female human medic / tech, very obese and nearly always eating something, with a very whiny voice (but very good at her jobs)
The Hammerheads - flying an Ares TR55-C, led by
Hammerhead, a human male mage, very ugly and covered in scars and missing his right hand, high grade initiate and morbid fear of cyberware,
Floss - male ork phys-ad, your typical monk with a bo-staff for kick ass melee, also high grade initiate,
Dental - a female dwarf street sam with full set of titanium teeth and a big chip on her shoulder,
Wiseguy - the team face, a male elf with tailored pheromones (in my game he was also gay and came on to the straightest of my players for about 3 months without him realising), and last of all
Vortex, a female ork rigger with one cyberleg, normally carries a flamethrower
The Vikings - piloting a Rivermaster Patrol Boat. Led by
Odin, a male human face, with
Jarl - male ork decker, Hunstman - male troll mage, Helga - female dwarf rigger,
Hilda - female troll shaman (norse pantheon, obviously), and
Frost - male orc adept. They take the whole viking thing seriously, are massive drinkers, very loud and love the loud and noisy jobs.
So - there's some of my crews - I'd love to see a description of either your team, teams you've encountered or npc teams / gangs from your game! Obviously some of the stuff I've listed here clearly displays its 3rd edition heritage - I'm sure some of the stuff either doesn't exist or works very differently in 4/5/6e. But the concepts should still be workable, I assume, and the feel / attitude of the teams or their vehicles should be fairly generic across the timeline. At least, that's what I'm hoping...
2019.02.15 18:12 MountainMongrelEntitled Woman Expects Base to Damage On Her Car That SHE Caused
Lady wanted Military base to pay for damage SHE caused on her car I'll do my best to keep this short. EW= Entitled Woman H= Her Husband M= ....me So I work on a Naval Base out in the boonies. My main job is as an aircraft mechanic, but some of us volunteer for the Security Forces to help supplement the understaffed police station as we're too small to have our own Master-at-Arms Division. It's not all that exciting, mainly just standing around and occasionally checking IDs with the morning rush to work being the only busy part of our day. Now when I say boonies, I mean we're in the ack-bass end of nowhere in the desert of all places. Needless to say, once in a blue moon, we'll get some character or other try to gain access to base. This lady was one such character. The day started out normal enough. Checked out my gun, put on my body armor and went out to my assigned gate. Morning rush came and went with nothing more than a few forgotten IDs which we turn around until they come back with it. The morning was winding down and I was near the end of my watch when SHE arrived. She pulls up in this straight-outta-burning-man jangly-ass hooptie that immediately set some bells off in my head. We do have more than our share of meth heads out here being in the desert and all. I waved her forward and she pulled to a stop next to me with brakes that sounded like a symphony of stuck pigs. She rolled her window down and a stench like lake-bottom sludge slapped me across the face. Still being a professional, I said good morning and asked for her CAC card. EW: I don't have one. M: Ma'am, You need a CAC card to access this base. I can't let you on with out it. EW: Why? I've never needed one before! As I'm looking over the inside of her vehicle, just a standard visual scan through the windows to make sure are no weapons or drugs, I notice who I guessed was her husband sitting in the passenger seat. Pretty decent looking guy besides the woman looking like a complete mess. M: Ma'am, if you husband has his, I can still let you on under our Trusted Traveler Program (basically allows people with access to bring spouses or friends on), but I still need to see valid ID. Sir, do you have your CAC Card? H:.... Silence, doesn't even turn to acknowledge me. EW: He doesn't have one either. M: Well then I'm sorry, but I can't let you on. She proceeds to start arguing with me, as if she could still persuade me. At this point I'm eyeing my partner with a 'can you believe this?' look. He just shakes his head with a douchey smirk on his face. Finally, I interrupt her, because a small line of cars has started to form behind her. M: Ma'am, I can't let you on I'm going to have to turn you around. If you'll hand me your Drivers License, you can meet me in the outgoing lane. If you come back with a valid ID or day pass from the Pass and ID office, we can let you on. She seems to calm down at this and proceeds to hand me her License from her purse. Honestly surprised she even had one, though the picture suspiciously doesn't quite look like her. I take down her plates and start waving her to the turn around area when she grazes the concrete barrier next to her and puts a few scratches on her bumper (not that you'd notice). All hell breaks loose at this point. EW: Are you kidding me, you guys scratched my car! (it was clearly her poor driving skills) How am I supposed to fix that, why'd you do that to my car! I'm screaming internally at this point. She continues to make a ruckus and it becomes clear that this is quickly becoming a situation that calls for more than my glorified mall cop skills. I radio into dispatch to let them know what's happening and to ask for a patrol car. They note the situation and sadly inform me that the nearest unit is engaged with a potential DUI and if I could try to contain the situation for 20 minutes. Great. The lady is still screaming at me, demanding we pay for the damage to her car, occasionally turning towards my partner to hurl a few insults his way. Her husband is still sitting calmly in the passenger seat and I wonder at the kind of monumental patience this man must have to tolerate this monster of a woman. Eventually, I get her to pull over so she is no longer impeding the flow of traffic and wait a safe distance by the driver door. To try and de-escalate the situation and calm her down until a patrol unit arrives I start asking her questions about the car like 'what's its value' and 'how bad the she thinks the damage is' and it seems to be working. Finally I ask her how much she thinks it will cost to repair the scratches on her bumper. EW: I need about tree fiddy. WELL IT WAS ABOUT THAT TIME I noticed the woman was actually an eight-story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic Era and the husband was just an Antonio Banderas Blow-Up Doll with a picture of Orlando Bloom taped to the front! So I said, "Godammit, Loch Ness monster! I ain't giving you no tree fiddy! Now get on out of here before I blow the tires off your car!"
SEASON 2 - META WARS: The Movie - Part 1 - Battle Royale
“Sorry about my brother,” Angel went on apologetically. She walked the lightly armored man down the corridor. There were a multitude of decorations and beautiful statues lining the walkway. He watched the windows that lined both sides. The storm was dying and the rain pelted them lightly. However, he questioned the left side of the hallway, thinking there couldn’t be windows that direction. They were facing the inside of the castle. “Privvy is a… funny boy. Actually, I’ll have you know that all my siblings are a little mischievous.” “That’s no problem, no problem at all.” In retrospect, it was quite funny. Obnoxious, but funny. “I’m just glad to be here. To be able to get to know you…” He jumped into his next step, “Oooo, ooo, hey, what’s your favorite color?” Kari asked excitedly. AngelicWhispers looked at him, perplexed by his abruptness, “Oh, is this how these things are supposed to go? I don’t get out much… It’s pink, a dark pink. Almost purple, but not quite.” They both walked down the corridor a while longer, “Yeah… mine too.” “How about animal?” “Alright, you wanna play with questions, huh? On one we answer at the same time. 3...2...1” “Scigerian!” The word melded as they both yelled it together. Kari took a wayward look out one of the windows outside. As they passed, a young man, crisscrossed, floating to the side, watched them walk. The wall blocked his view and at the next window, he was gone. Angel grabbed his shoulder and his attention was diverted. “Okay, here’s one… favorite food. 3...2...1.” “Churritien!” They once again both yelled into the hallway. They rounded a corner at the end of the hallway and found themselves in a larger room with seven different directions; one of the directions was meant to be on the outside of the castle as the hallway they had just ventured down indicated. This place was completely impossible. “Okay, okay, this is going to be a little weird, but you gotta stay close and keep up. We’re gonna run down this one, okay? Whatever you do, don’t stop. You got it?” She told the man, who was getting a little nervous. “Also, we’re heading to the dining hall. Remember. Dining hall. You might want to just keep saying that over and over again. GO!” She yelled and she jolted down the nearest corridor. The room shifted as she entered. The entire room changed directions and he was thrown to the ground. “Oh, shit,” He whispered to himself. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” he said again, muttering to himself, watching each corridor, wondering which she had gone down. A light-bearing circle opened up overhead. The head of a young man poked out. The ring was a dark purple but shined deeply. “O,” the high-pitched voice came, his bright pink shawl hung down while he hung upside down, “You might wanna go down that one,” He stated very casually. He pointed to the hallway that seemed the furthest from the gentleman. From just a few meters away from the portal another head came popping through a seperate portal. “Nah, fam, go that way,” Privvy winked. Once again, another younger man shot his head through yet another portal. It was the young man who had been watching him through the window. “Hi, I’m Nightblue and I’m not going to lie, but you seem really nice. Wanna be friends? It’s been so long since we’ve had a visitor and you look just the part to describe as “new” and the other part to describe as “friend”. I love you already with your twin short swords, ooo, I really like the colors on the hilt. Almost holographic, I was thinking of getting a tattoo in that color. What do you think of tattoos?” Blue seemed to have said that in one breath and very rapidly. The original man from the original portal shot Nightblue a look and he fell quiet, but before any more words were uttered two portals opened a ways away, one on top of the other. From this set of portals a young woman began falling through them over and over again. When she fell through the bottom it just popped her back to the top. “Listen… … to ...the ...first ...guy,” she yelled as she endlessly freefalled. Kari picked himself up and began to run down the corridor that the original man had happened to point at. He began fleeting by many open doors, in each door lived another strange scene. Each very unique, but every single one almost like abstract art. Different landscapes per room, a llama on a rolling hill in one. A sea of knives in another. An aquarium in stasis among other things and so on. Most of the scenes involved a llama somewhere, as a matter of fact. From behind him he heard a gnashing. A loud noise that sounded completely out of place. Kar looked behind him as he ran and came to realize a massive beast was eating the cobblestone path he was running in. The immense teeth and a disturbing number of eyes made him absolutely question the authenticity of his decision to come here. My life has lead to this; it was a decent life and I’ve been loved, and now I think it’s over. Better luck next time, buddy, he thought while his feet picked up the pace. He looked to his left. To his surprise and slight dismay the same young man that had been spying on him through the window was running beside him, smiling. “Hi, so what do you think about that tattoo? Should I get it? I really like that color.” “Help!” Kari took no time to justify what NightBlue was saying, rather, he wanted to be gone from this situation. “O, rude…” His smile dropped to a small frown, but it was a more of a lighthearted frown for the situation. “How… Do… I… Get… to the… dining room?!” The twin blade-wielding adventurer yelled at Blue, panting and out of breath. Blue looked as if he were contemplating whether or not he left the stove on, and not running from a disgusting and disturbing beast. Kari looked to his right and saw Privvy run in addition. “What’chu guys talking about?” He stated casually more or less to NightBlue while the monster was getting closer and closer with each bite. “Oh, just how Kari here needs to get to the Dining Hall…” “Dining Room or Dining Hall?” “Dining Room,” Blue corrected to Privvy. “I mean, Angel’s not an idiot, she would have told him how to get there… Unless she wants him dead… Hey, does Whispers want you dead?” Blue turned to Kari. “Oh, I can help with that!” Privvy pulled out a morningstar from Daron only knows where. As he ran and ran a portal opened on the ceiling. “Say” The young woman spoke another portal opened in front of him, “The,” … “name,” he kept passing her over and over as he sprinted, “of the,” again, “place.” That was right, he remembers now what she told him. “Dining hall. Dining hall. Dining hall. Dining hall.” He said out loud, panting like a dog. The teeth were right at his heels and the floor vanished. He was now falling and eventually he was thrown onto some cobblestone. Kari looked up from the ground and saw the feet of Angel. “Nice of you to join me,” she said, seeming a bit annoyed. He got to his feet quickly. “What in the fuck was that?!” He pointed back and noticed that he was only a small ways from the larger room they had started in. “Our security system,” she laughed heartily so much so that her body began to buckle and she held herself up with her hands on her knees. “You could have warned me! You know what!? This is off; I’m positive I can’t take this place for another minute! I’m out!” Kari yelled, Angel moved and he noticed four different portals on the ceiling of this corridor; each with an eager looking face; each watching in anticipation. “And them! Look at them! What is this!?” He threw up his hands and began walking the other way. She ran to him. She spun him by the shoulder and hugged him. Honestly, if this wasn’t fact and more fiction, it would be incredibly cheesy and near laughable, but since this is actually a universe where things do happen for whimsy’s sake, it was fine. The entire group watched awe-ing and she shot them a look that could slay a moose dead. “I’m sorry; think of it as a test,” she whispered. “And please, don’t go back that way.” He returned the hug with empathy in his heart and his foot slipped. He heard a portion of the floor break away and realized that the debris fell into a pit. He looked down and saw the monster that had been chasing him before was staring at him eagerly from the bottom. His hairs stood up on the back of his neck. “You ready to meet my sister? Please?” A small pause and Kari was ready to answer, “No, but let’s do it anyway.” “Great. I’ll grab the llama.” … The massive wooden doors were pulled by Angel and it shined a marvelous light into the face of Karismatic, who became blinded for a moment. Inside was a hall of grand proportions. A long table beset by various animals and creatures. The room was decorated in a way to be fit for several heirs of royalty, but somehow not too gaudy. The room seemed to be split into eight different colors and each of which seemed to be divided into three other shades. Angel took a seat at the table towards the red side and propped a chair out for her guest with her foot. “You know, Kar, I know this is a lot to take in, Angie can be a little… eccentric, but I'm glad you seem a little more comfortable than most we bring here. I'm truly, truly glad.” “Yeah, I know had that little outburst earlier, but I was just scared. I'm glad it was just an illusion.” She began to laugh and slapped his shoulder lightly, “Yeah! It was only a hologram, silly.” That was a lie, the “monster’s” name was Leonard, and frankly, he was quite peeved that he was simply an illusion. He slid himself to the table and from afar, in the most right-hand side of the room, a large red curtain opened. Out flipped many, many, many users of various sizes and ages. “Presenting!” Came a deep stereotypical announcer style voice. “The Cookie Lounge!” The first to land was the young woman that gave some of the more subtle advice. She took a bow and from the curtain swooped a hawk that landed on her shoulder. “Here we have Lilly. Little Lilly, a clean fighter, but someone who isn't scared to bring out the claws when times are getting edgy. Overall a pretty good girl. Oh, and that hawk of hers? That's her familiar and shape-shifting pet, Eclipz!” She took her seat somewhat closely to the blue end, while the hawk stayed gripped closely to her arm. “We have twin siblings coming out, Mega and FiteForDiamonds!” As they exited the curtain they both tripped on one another. They began to argue on stage, but the music was too loud to truly hear anything. Finally a portal opened beneath them and they were teleported to the green portion of the room. Upon getting up they peacefully but begrudgingly took their seats. “You can tell them apart because Mega has a bionic arm and Fite still has both his arms.” A young man walked out slowly with a stoic face, he didn't seem quite interested in the antics. The announcer's voice came through once more, “and our boy, Blowey Joey! Look at him! Marvelous. Spectacular! Incredible.” Joey took a seat accordingly next to Lilly. Out walked a couple hand in hand. They both took a bow on the stage and they kissed one another very quickly. “Now, now, who do we have here? Lilly’s brother and his partner, Mande?” Mande was in a robe and Nightblue wore a wonderful deep blue leather armor that resembled many of the Starconian descendants, but with a ninja-like feel to the deep Indigo colored worn leather. It was quite the contrast to the robes and cloak of light pink of Mande. “Little bit of trivia, folks, Mande has been one of the last outsiders to stay in Cookie Lounge since the beginning of time. I'd take that as a challenge, ladies and gentlemen!” The lights lowered and spotlight search ambiguously around the stage. “And now the moment we've all been waiting for!” The curtain caught fire and in the quick blaze and man sprouted from the ashes. “Me! The wonderful always lovely.” The announcer’s voice changed to his original voice he had heard earlier. “The best all-around fighter and ladies man and unintentionally-better-than-all the rest, Privvy! Thank you, thank you, you're all too kind, but as you all may know, I'm joking by now. I'm not the best, because that title falls to our acting queen! The Queen of Cookie Lounge! Madam Princess Angie, our matriarch!” From above the table the cobblestone ceiling opened, sliding left to right. From the darkness a woman in a dark deep red draping armor, with chainmail strewn throughout the armor near randomly. Plates on her left leg, but a bare right leg. It was a gorgeous ensemble, but random and odd to Kari. She watched the visitor as she quietly glided down. “Does this happen every dinner?” Kari asked, but Angel closed his lips with her hand rather quickly. She lightly touched down on the table and laid down before KarismicHabichi and AngelicWhispers. “I see you brought a guest; did you bring your offering?” She said quite peacefully in her obscenely high pitched voice. “Of course, sister. I brought you the llama.” She looked around and then at Kari. “Is he the llama?” She said, and it was as absurd as it was to you as it was to Kari. He looked behind Ang and saw Privvy’s face nearly curl in on itself attempting to hold the laughter. “Because he seems more like an alpaca or even a koala.” “No, ma’am. The llama is invisible. It’s right behind me.” There was a still and sickly silence throughout the dining room. Kari wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do. “Guards!” Kari thought that it was over and was in the thought that Angi was having him arrested. The guards, which seemed to be made of gum and cotton candy, made their way to Angie, Kari, and Angel. “Please grab the llama and add it to my collection.” The guard came over to Angelic who handed a small leash that seemed to be propped up by nothing. Her face changed from a slight scowl to a gleeful smile at the dual wielding man. She jumped from the table and floated in the air while many different kinds of fireworks sprang forth from her hands. A spectacular display of explosions awed Karismatic while he sat there. “Let the feast commence!” She yelled and an army of butlers and maids came dancing out into the hall, all with something new on their platers. Kari watched as the many of these servants, who were humanoids, made their way down the table, dropping off many platters before the entourage of heroes and warriors. The grand and marvelous Princess Angie floated into her seat at the far end of the table under the deepest red. Everything was going perfectly. The dinner was nice and it was a completely sensible meal, be it strange due to the weird nature of the humanoids that filled the castle-town. “So, Kari, tell me something about yourself,” said the reigning queen, “I’m quite interested in the man willing to take my sister’s hand.” Angel’s eyes went wide and she blinked hard and stared directly at Angie. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I wrong?” “We, um, Angie… we just met…” She corrected. Kari didn’t know it, but Angel’s stomach fell with the thought of marriage. Privvy began to laugh so hard he fell backward in his seat. Angie's eyes went as wide as Angel’s. She awkwardly and giddy put her hand behind her head and began to laugh herself. “Oh, did I say that!? That's not what I said, I just wanted to remind you of how I met Mande!” Kari looked at Mande across the table, who peeked up with his mouth full of purple mashed potatoes. He waved as he looked around. “I'm here to change the subject!” NightBlue yelled and leaped on the table. His head in his hands, laying directly in front of Karismatic. “Hi. I really like you. I really like everyone, but that's an entirely differently issuely. Can you tell me who's better? Anthony Hopkins or Antonio Banderas?” Kari began to answer that he truly didn't know what the fuck he was on about, but Blue answered for him. “Wrong! You’re wrong, because whichever answer you chose was immediately wrong, the true answer is Jeffrey Michael Tambor. Nice try, though, better luck next time. Is there a next time? That's a decent philosophical question… isn't it? I'd say so, but that's simply my opinion. You know what else is my opinion-” But NightBlue was cut short. “Honey, calm down,” said Mandy, still paying more attention to his food. “My opinion is-” he was cut short this time by Privvy. “Don't you fucking dare, Blue!” He looked as if his face was about to explode and the only thing keeping it together was biting his bottom lip. “AND YOU KNOW WHAT MY OPINION IS?” Angel watched in horror as her dinner was falling apart. She sat there speechless because she knew what his opinion was. “SHUT IT, NIGHTBLUE!” The entire table yelled. “I LOVE A GOOD BATTLE ROYALE!” He yelled, and the entire dinner seemed to tear apart at the seams. The butlers began scurrying and dropping dishes; Mega began to cuss wildly; the gumball guards walked their funny walks away; doors were closed; even Leonard went into hiding and he's a giant face-spider-monster-thing. Hell, even Joey Blowey escaped the narrative. All of this accumulated to one thing. PrincessAngie had the widest grin on her face. “A battle royale? That sounds like a marvelous idea!” She spun and floated away from her seat. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Angel shrieked at the top of her lungs. “NightBlue, I'll kill you. I'll absolutely slay you!” “But sister, it was just my opinion,” He stated. But it wasn't before Angie danced elegantly to the wall, where three different ropes connected to something higher than the ceiling hung. The first rope read: Pull in Case of Fire. The second read: Daddy’s Corner, but the third was the one she pulled. It read: Dis Bad Bich Gon’ Make it Rain. “I gotta get you out of here!” Angel yelled to Kari and he got up from his chair rather quickly in response. “What, why? What's a battle royal?” She began pushing him towards the door, but the rope was already pulled and a large Kachink chimed deeply. The ceiling suddenly opened and a slew of weapons fell onto the table. From afar, behind the table a smaller portion of the ceiling opened and a lovely, red bed fell onto the ground. As he was being pushed along the ground, he uttered to her, “I mean, I know what a battle royale is, but I don't know how it applies here. Are we gonna play a game?” “Uh, you can call it that…” She answered back. They both watched as Angie held out her hand and an even smaller portion of the ceiling slid open. It expelled a bucket of popcorn that landed square on her splayed hand. She danced back to the bed that had dropped earlier. She dove on the bed, somehow not spilling the popcorn. While the rest of the group was stretching, Mande threw up his hands, “Nope, I'm out on this one!” He slowly and elegantly walked over to the matriarch eating the popcorn. “Welcome to this year's tri-annual Battle Royale!” Privvy announced in his deeper, more robust tone. “Ladies and gentlemen, guests and participants, we are here today to join each other in a hail of combat! Why!? Because we damn well fucking want to, that's why! Yes, what a beautiful idea… now… let's get ready to pummel!” Fite jumped back and cracked his whip. Mega extended his robotic arm and from the arm, he seized a trident. Lillygalaxy and Eclipz did the same in response, he swooped up and turned into a wolf, landing on the table. NightBlue began to teleport, but Angie snapped her fingers and he ran into a wall. Privvy spun his microphone on the cord and it immediately turned into a morning-star-styled flail. Kari was pushed away by Angel onto the bed. 3… A board fabricated on the wall with every combatant’s name. 2… Angel saw exactly the weapon she would choose sitting at the end of the table, the handle poking over the edge. 1… and Angie snapped her fingers. They all jumped apart to the separate corners of the room and came together to the middle of the table. Angel ran to the weapon she scouted earlier, she ax-kicked the hilt; it spun circulating in the air, and caught the kitchen knife. Privvy came from behind, but she kicked up a shield. It jumped flat from the ground and kicked it forward. The shield caught Privv and they both flew backward from Angel. The wolf that was priorly dealing with NightBlue threw him back across the room and leaped on Angel. NightBlue ran from the rear of the room. He leapt on the table, sliding on two different plates and drew his crossbows in one fluid motion as he took aim, firing three precise shots at Mega, Lily, and Privvy. Before he could reload, Fite’s whip wrapped around his leg and swung him into the opposing wall with a sickening crunch. Mega threw his body towards Angel, who was still avoiding the teeth of Eclipz. Mega wrapped his trident around the wolf and suplexed the beast. Before Eclipz could hit the ground he transformed into a butterfly; the momentum landed Mega into an empty chair whilst Eclipz found his escape. Lilly saw the assault on Eclipz; she grit her teeth and her metal claws that extended over her hands came forth. The chair tipped back while Mega put on his guard. He quickly used his trident to retain some distance from her and the claws of death. He positioned his on feet on her chest and kicked backward, launching her into the body of the attacking Angel. Angel flew back with Lilly. They toppled over the bed and behind while the three spectators watched on. “So, Ang… how are the llamas?” Asked Mandelore innocently. “All four hundred and thirty nine are doing great,” she responded, still eating her popcorn. “How long was that up there, Ang?” Mande inquired. “A long time, it's most stale thing I've ever eaten.” She chimed back, her attention still on the fight. “Oh…” He looked down at her, still shoving copious amounts of it in her mouth. “That’s something, alright, Ang, that is something.” “Hey, at least I have popcorn.” She turned to Kari with worry in his eyes, “You want some?” She said loudly and happily to him. “Uh, erm, no thank you, Ang.” It was then that the nearly unconscious body of Fite flew over the bed. Following was Eclipz that leaped over the spectators as a tiger. Angel got up from her most recent altercation and saw NightBlue being pummeled by Privvy. He had no protection against his mace-like weapon. Several times he could feel a ball of metal come down in fury upon him, but in the midst of his swing, NightBlue took the mace by the handle and held his hand back. He pulled his leg with his own and they both went to the ground. Blue managed to find himself atop of Priv, but was quickly surrendered a victory by Angel, who kneed him in the side of the head. The enormous strength fueled by her angered sent him to the entire opposite side of the room where Lilly, Eclipz, Mega, and Fite were skirmishing. “He's mine!” She yelled as she ran after Nightblue’s absent body. Lilly saw her chance to eliminate her uncle. She pounced using the end of the table as a vault. She leaped onto him, but Privvy threw a platter at her forehead. It pinked off her head and she was thrown off course, giving him enough time to roll and handspring to his feet. He neglected to see the charging ram beyond Lilly. It hit him with enough force to knock him into the wall. A second charge was imminent. As he ran forth as the ram, Privvy simply laid his hands on its hea and spread his legs over the beast. The ram was stuck in the wall and Privvy was laughing with ridicule for Eclipz, now trapped. Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Angel was finding her target easily. She slashed and stabbed with a fury deep and passionate against her brother. Never had any of the Cookie Lounge seen such fire from the fighting flames of Angel, but they knew why. NightBlue attempted to dodge and defend, but the might of this woman was too fierce. Covered in blood, the young man finally found himself blacking out. Mande still looking on patiently, but Kari felt sick seeing such a one-sided assault. He stood up only to be sat back down by red magic that shrouded his body. “Uhn uhn, it's about to happen… watch.” She said slowly and innocently enough. NightBlue dropped to his knees. With one final look he smiled at Angel. She lopped his head and his entire body burst into ash. As this happened the entire group stopped what they had been in midst of doing and looked at the altercation. His ash floated and lingered for a moment and was seen lingering towards the roof of the room. Each color met a chandelier and eventually, the chandelier absorbed all of the essences that was NightBlue. Karismatic sat on the bed looking at the horror of the user that was banished from this world. He thought he would never get to meet him again, and for good reason. No one returned to Discord once banished. “No,” he whispered. One of the many crystals sitting on the ornament glowed with deep indigo. Fite unleashed his whip and began grabbing the various weapon strewn on the floor. Flinging them at Angel in a flurry of metal and wood. Lilly took to the walking Angel. She had a devilish look as Lilly pounced, but was caught short by Angel in her rampage. The metal claws came down and struck her cheek, but that was the only piece of the body they caught. Angel manipulated Lilly’s body in a way where she landed in a fireman’s carry. She used her own momentum to throw her against the wall. Angel heard a buzz next to her left ear, a fly, but the fly turned into an elephant. It was inches away from crushing her, but she managed to fall away from his feet and summersault under the fall of the beast. As the elephant trashed about she dove under the table. Fite and Mega nodded at one another. Fite flung his whip and threw a nearby chair up. Mega leaped, landing on it, and jumped from the chair to the top of the elephant. Before Eclipz could know there was a user on his back, Mega thrust the trident down. Immediately the Eclipz turned into a Hawk, but the wound was too severe for such a small body. As the bird flew off, it was seen losing the ability to fly and finally it dropped. It landed with a puff of ash. Once again, the ash congregated towards the chandelier. It absorbed Eclipz’s essence and another crystal began to glow a deep green. Mega dropped to the ground and was welcomed by a ferocious woman. The claws struck deep with a violent stab and finally, her left swing cut off his remaining arm. Mega looked down in disbelief that his other arm was severed. “Aw, man!” He yelled while his artery began to bleed. Privvy saw his opportunity and jumped from the opposing side of the table. He swung the head of the mace down on Mega’s head and he was turned to ash. “Kill steal!” He yelled at Lilly. She grit her teeth in anger and she steadily began to run towards Privvy. On the opposite side of the dining hall. Fite was dealing with Angel now. He was more skilled at the dodges than his brother, but once again there was no opposition from these close ranged strikes. He found an opening, jolted back, and wrapped the whip around her arm. He strained with his might and threw her against the wall. With a clash, Angel was momentarily incapacitated. Privvy picked up the trident and threw it at his niece, who was still standing against the wall. The trident sailed for her. Fite whipped the trident out of mid-air, grabbing it, and pulled it the opposite way. The trident now sailed towards Privvy. Privvy caught the trident with his head and was immediately turned to ash with the collision. The crystal glowed a light blue with his disappearance. Fite pressed a button on the hilt of his whip and out came the spikes that transcended the coil. He wound back to give Angel the final blow who had now slumped to the floor, unconscious. He had forgotten about one other fighter, however. A chair soared through the air. He reacted quickly and whipped the chair in half. Like a beast, Lilly came for the whip-wielder. Fite attempted to flail her with many different attempts, but she ducked, spun, weaved, juked her way towards him. She had the ferocity of a thousand animals in her eyes, this was no longer a fight of pride, but a fight fueled by anger. The intensity of her anger brought her the determination to dodge every single strike. She entered a medium range, jumping incredibly high. At this time Angel began to regain consciousness. In the air Fite and the now conscious Angel saw Lilly charge her hand, a mist began to shroud her arm with a light pink cloud. She wound back and propelled it forth. The Original Art post made its way towards Fite and he had no time to dodge. The post hit with enough meta impact to completely evaporate the young man. She landed, exhausted, and nearly fell over with the amount of energy given with that single attack. The chandelier glowed a seafoam green. The woman with the metal claws got to her feet once more and so did Angel. She slowly picked up her knife and Lilly slowly looked her way. “Well,” yelled Lilly, nearly across the room, “that was fun.” She dropped to her knees again. She began to cough into her hand. She saw the crimson liquid spill from her lungs onto her palm. “Nice while it lasted.” And with a smile, she fell to the floor. Her body began to evaporate into the air. The chandelier glowed a neon pink leaving one crystal that wasn’t lit. “... I can’t believe…” Karismatic watched on as he saw Angel slowly limp her way underneath the middle of the room. “They’re all gone.” Both Angi and Mande looked at Kar, perplexed by his dramatic statement. “It didn’t need to come to this. This was horrific. We watched your brothers and sisters and family get slaughtered today.” He sunk his head toward the ground. His heart filled with more emotions than he’d care to admit. Witnessing the death of a user is enough to set a person back, but to see a senseless massacre is something far beyond content. “Um, Kar, don’t look so down, man. It isn’t like they're…” Angel stopped just under the ornament that hung in the middle of the room. She kicked over the ridiculously large table, it fell with a mighty crash. Silverware and dishware and food and weapons scattered everywhere from the fall. She limped directly underneath the chandelier and held her hand up towards it. “Dead…” Mande finished his sentenced slowly. A powerful beam of many colors rained down on Angeli in the middle of the room. One by one, each crystal dimmed and eventually faded to white. One by one her brothers and sisters and family began to form from the colorful essence that swirled. The light’s seemed to fully heal the warrioress. Her cuts, her bruises, from her bleeding mouth to the laceration on her legs, all seemed to be healing. The lights faded and everyone seemed to be stretching who had, just minutes ago, been vanquished. Kari’s jaw was left open. “How!?” He yelled, “They were dead! I watched them get ash’d! There’s no way!?” Mande and Ang began to get up off the bed while Karismatic looked around, wide eyed at the debacle. Angi skipped to the middle of the group who were shaking hands and hi-fiving. “Aw, group hug!” she yelled into the group and she quickly used her mod powers to pull them all in. “I’m glad you guys worked out your differences! It looked fun!” Kari rubbed his face with both of his hands and was obviously still distressed. Angel finally made her way to him and gave him a hug. She leaned back while both her hands were on his shoulders. “What?” she laughed a little, “Doesn’t it work like this where you’re from?” He nodded no. The void of black began to spit lightning forth and it swirled into the portal. “Epsy!” Antag yelled. “Something’s going wrong! Something’s going terribly wrong! Can you hear me, buddy!?” The body of the Lurker King hovered over the magical pit. The room was shaking, lightning was catching the building on fire. He was thrown from his position into one of the many crates that surrounded the warehouse. The wood smashed under the impact and he was left inside the wooden box. He got up, quickly, making sure to avoid any more lightning. Antag ducked away. He looked at the balcony. He ran to it. Up the stairs he went as quickly as his legs could carry. He found himself below the floating Epsy and above the void-like hole. A set of large teeth began to form from the spiraling blackness, but it wasn’t the teeth that Antag felt his skin crawl for. It was the yellow eyes peering at him through the dimensional portal. He positioned his body on the railing and jumped for both of their lives. He hit Epsy out from the air and latched on, but the vortex still raged. They crashed to the ground and he watched in horror as the snout of a great beast began to pry forth from whatever place it came. He threw the user on his shoulders and ran for the exit. He opened the car door to watch the fire envelop the warehouse that the ritual was being conducted. He could still hear the pops and cracks from the static discharging inside. “What have we done?” He said as he drove away. The secluded warehouse was in the middle of the Discordian planes in his rearview mirror. Starring: KarasimcHabichi, AngelicWhispers, Nightblue, Angie, Mande, Privvy, FiteForDiamonds, Mega, Lillygalaxy, Joey Blowey, Epsy, Antagonist u/nerdman01 ate too many cookies and that’s why this is releasing late
2017.08.11 04:57 Plus1longswordThe best movie review for The End of Days starring Arnold Schwarzenegger
Just found this on imbd: End of Intelligence 3/10 dunmore_ego 23 Sep 2006 Arnold fans will holler in joy, fans of brainless action will holler in astonishment, and Catholics will just holler. Illogically written by Andrew W. Marlowe and ham-handedly directed by Peter Hyams, End of Days gets The Terminator out of his open-backed hospital gown (Arnold Schwarzenegger's return to the big screen after his heart operation), whilst blowing things up in Mysterious Ways and blaspheming Biblical verse to give Catholics something more to whine about. It is 1999 and doom-sayers the world over live in trepidation of their computers going fritz and losing their downloaded porn. Even as the technological stank of Y2K muttons the New York streets, ex-cop turned alcoholic security guard, Jericho Cane (Schwarzenegger, with the perfunctory "dead-wife-and-kid" back-story for Loose Cannon effect), must brave theological waters to save 20-year-old virgin Christine (Robin Tunney) from being conscripted as wait for it The Bride of Satan. Dun dah daaaarrrh! Stupidity ensues. For every anti-hero, there is his anti-Christ. Gabriel Byrne is the devil here and he's out to party like it's 1999, on a mission to impregnate Christine with the Anti-Christ between 11 pm and 12 midnight, December 31, 1999 ironically, in the hour that all porn will be lost thereby bringing about the End of Days. Being able to read minds, conjure hallucinations and employ limitless magic, it doesn't occur to Satan to expedite the impregnation process by appearing months in advance and courting Christine as a teen model and then closing the panty raid easily at the appointed time; instead, he appears on December 28th like a Keyser Soze Terminator and wonders why she doesn't welcome him with open thighs (See above comment re: stupidity.) Here is a movie where nothing makes sense the moment it is uttered, let alone after contemplating its veracity or mythology. A priest (Rod Steiger) tells Jericho that '666' is really '999' upside down with a '1' in front of it. So wait - Prince is the Anti-Christ? Satan Soze pursues Jericho and Christine (J and C get it?) around town, at no point doing anything which would actually precipitate their capture. In one scene, Satan recreates Jericho's wife and child to tempt him into revealing where he hid Christine. But if he can see so deeply into Jericho's mind in recreating his family with enough nuance to inspire nostalgia, why can't he see where Jericho hid Christine not ten minutes ago? Satan can make an assassin talk without a tongue, yet he can't make that assassin unjam a semi-automatic weapon. And when Jericho shoots Satan at point blank range, Satan is courteous enough to open his shirt to reveal the wounds closing, so Jericho won't worry unduly about Satan's health - not sanitary to go about with open bullet wounds Matter of fact, instead of simply possessing Jericho himself to get close to Christine and rape her, Satan expends so much unnecessary energy on side-projects (crucifying the tongue-less guy, blowing up Jericho's partner (Kevin Pollak) and then saving him, and then blowing him up again, ridiculously battling Jericho when he could snuff him out with the effort of thought) that we wonder whether a more efficient assassin/lover shouldn't be put on the case say, Antonio Banderas. What I find most precious about End of Days is Arnold's valiant attempts at The Method: "sad" means scrunching up his eyes and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent; "depressed" means raising a bottle to his lips and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent; "deathly scared" means widening his eyes and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent. There's definitely a pattern here, if we could only decipher it. In the end, the devil is dispatched not by the holy men whom Catholics pray to for deliverance from apocalypses such as these, but from the atheist Jericho. While the timid men of an impotent god exhort "faith" and quiver in their cells doing nothing about Satan actually walking amongst them, the Prince of Darkness is thwarted by a nullifidian with a big gun and a foreign accent. Which clearly says something that Catholics blindly refuse to hear: that even if the Devil were to exist, those who have been indoctrinated to unconditionally and irrationally fear him would be unable to conjure a belief in his downfall, let alone act towards it. Further, they might not truly WANT him defeated, for only through his contrary polarity does their god's existence become tenable. For it is written in the Book of Revelations: "And the Prince of Darkness shall descendeth upon the Earth without any solid game plan, and impregnate a virgin on a date which won't have any significance until the Gregorian Calendar of the 1500s adopts the day numbering which will put it in sync with the equinoxes and the Anno Domine syntax which will annoy sensible people for millennia, by which time, Christians will have forgotten Christ's actual birth date and appropriated the pagan Saturnalia festival in its stead. And the Prince shall effect a Revolution through tight purple pants and ambiguously-lesbian band members " I can believe the people being drained of blood and crucified, and the alcoholic built like a Mr. Universe; I can believe that a giant, supernatural monster can't kill a guy armed only with a foreign accent; I can even believe that the devil needs to perform some hokey thirteenth century Celtic Druid ritual as foreplay - but what I cannot believe is the 20-year-old virgin in New York City in 1999. Especially around Prince...
Most of the examples I can recall of artists recording duet albums seem to be of the generation older than M, such as Tony Bennett or Barbra Streisand. But there are probably examples I'm not thinking of right now, and it's an interesting idea. I can think of a lot of potential partners, so to speak, and musical directions that something like this could go. What do you all think?
Screenshot : http://i.imgur.com/KvVNML9.jpg This Blizzard-edited Dark Themed user interface, developed especially for PVPers contains: 1. BRAND NEW UNIT FRAMES (all props to PYRALIS) -- http://i.imgur.com/2Padu1Z.jpg 2. TONS OF PWP UTILITIES AND CUSTOM SHIT TO MAXIMIZE THE SMOOTHNESS FOR PWP ACTION: 3. BLACK THEME: New tooltips, BankFrame(xd), Buttons, CastingBar Dark theme, ComboFrame, Icons, TargetingFrame, Minimap, Overal action bars and Main Menu Bar.
IMPROVED INTERFACE for PLAYER vs PLAYER -->
deleted annoying aspects of standard blizzard ui in order to IMPROVE smoothness and visibility of PVP aspects:
Minimap is now zoomable in/out with mouse wheel button,
Deleted minimap tracking,
Minimap top border,
Minimap location frame,
Minimap world map button,
HideChatButton (in the left bottom corner --> left click will hide your chat, left click again to show it again) --> usefull in PVP when u are on skype(fcking tryhards) and dont need chat
15 seconds countdown before Arena begins
CUSTOM AND ABSOLUTELY BRAND NEW 2.4.3 EDITED "bebep-like" CASTBAR --> current texture: Nyan Cat, will add tons of more textures soon.
Schakas BuffLib to get you exact clock-timers of several spells(Paladin buble,cloak of shadows etc)
BRAND NEW EDITED ClassPortraits CLASS ICONS WITH CUSTOM PlayerFrame Portraits --> The Rock, Antonio Banderas, Lisa Ann, Donald Trump and a lot more(how to switch portraits tutorial in "readme")
Schakas Party Ability Bars --> controls your partner cooldowns such as Hammer of Justice, Cloak of Shadows, Vanish.
SpeedyActions --> addon which triggers spells on button-down instead of when you release the buttons--> greatly increase the speed of your actions.
Spell Cooldown Pulse on your screen when its finished.
Focus Frame, Gladdy, Custom edited Interrupt Bar(default set to "hidden"), working-errorless Lose Control,
deleted UNIT FRAMES PVP icons(horde/alliance)
Hidden spell tooltips on mouseover(sup clickers),
deleted blizzard dragons(replaced with less-annoying black textures),
DELETED Raid LeadeMaster loot and a lot of more annoying shits from Units.(u will still see them in raid tab tho)
COMPLETELY REMOVED PlayeTarget/Focus STATUSES from Unit Frames such as: ZZZ(busy/in a city),LEVEL, Skull(dead),Swords(combat),Glow(rest/combat) etc.,
Deleted group/focus tabs on top of units(read "readme" for more info on how to setup focus frame at first launch),
COMPLETELY HIDDEN ALL ERRORS SUCH AS: Target out of range, You cant do that yet, Out of Mana spam.,
Edited Blizzard unit frames-no level circle.
No more annoying sounds when you cannot cast spells while you have GCD.
TONS MORE(u will realize)
Added few trademarks(u will see xd , sorry about that) cuz its not finished yet.
KNOWN BUGS / LF HELP WITH:
1) Spellbook and Wep switching bugs the black-outline theme on additional action bars and also bugs "Always show additional action bars" option.(you will see free button borders where you dont have any spells.
2) LoseControl CC-textures are square and doesnt fit the frame, looking for advice on how to fix it.
3) Random lua-error(u will see it in chat log at login) caused by Health colours change script.
4) Need some mask for icon buffs--> some of them have square black textures. some are rounded, i need to unify them.
Link to Original Sign Up Post First off I'd like to thank all those who signed up. It was a great turn out and I'm excited! I'd like to send a special thank you to those who were willing to send packages across borders. As of right now Canada Post is unsure if there will be a lockout/strike. I did the pairs as if there wasn't one so please discuss all of the options with your trade partners! Onto the Pairs!
At a school in the sky where teens learn how to be superheroes, Will Stronghold lands in a class for students who show special promise. Classmate Gwen quickly cozies up to Will, but it's soon clear that she has other motives. When he learns that Gwen's mother is a villain who was defeated by his father, Steve Stronghold, Will realizes that Gwen is aiming for revenge, and he rushes to a school dance in the hope of stopping her. Featuring Michael Angarano, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kurt Russell, and Kelly Preston. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
High-school student Cody Banks wants nothing more than what every other teen wants: to survive the banality of adolescence and become an adult. But Banks is no ordinary teen; he's a CIA agent. And, when he's not doing his homework, Banks is on the case, spying on fellow student Natalie Connors in order to get close to her father, a scientist who has invented killer nanobots designed to bring down the country. Featuring Frankie Muniz, Hilary Duff, Martin Donovan, and Angie Harmon.
Teenage spy Cody Banks returns for another mission, and this time around he has a new partner, the humorous and amiable Derek Bowman. Cody and Derek must travel to England to foil the plot of Victor Diaz, a villainous operative who aims to wreak havoc with experimental mind-control technology. Joining Cody and Derek is pretty British schoolgirl Emily Sommers, who turns out to be a fellow undercover spy. Featuring Frankie Muniz, Anthony Anderson, Keith Allen, and Hannah Spearritt. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two young kids become spies in attempt to save their parents, who are ex-spies, from an evil mastermind. Armed with a bag of high tech gadgets and out-of-this world transportation, Carmen and Juni will bravely jet through the air, dive under the seas and crisscross the globe in a series of thrilling adventures on a mission to save their parents ... and maybe even the world. Featuring Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara, Carla Gugino, Antonio Banderas, and Alan Cumming.
*Now full fledged Spy Kids, Carmen and Juni Cortez are back for another James Bond style adventure. Their newest mission takes them to a distant island where they take on a mysterious man and his imaginative creatures. But this time, they also have to fight the forces of rival sibling Spy Kids, Gary and Gerti Giggles, as they head right into a trap that will test each and every spy in the Cortez family. Featuring Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara, Carla Gugino, Antonio Banderas, Steve Buscemi, Matt O'Leary, and Emily Osment.
*Pint-sized kid spy Juni Cortez faces his biggest challenge yet when he confronts the Toymaker, a ruthless villain sentenced to virtual prison by the Organization of Super Spies. The Toymaker has captured Juni's sister, OSS agent Carmen, and is holding her inside a virtual reality environment called "Game Over." Now Juni must use his cunning to advance to the nearly impossible "Level Five" in order to rescue his sister. Featuring Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara, Carla Gugino, Antonio Banderas, Sylvester Stallone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex Rider is a British teenager, whom MI6 recruits into its ranks, for his skills as a linguist, scuba diver, sharpshooter and martial artist are perfect for a career in espionage; his first assignment is to investigate billionaire Darrius Sayle, who may have a nefarious motive for his recent donation of megacomputers to all of England's schools. Featuring Alex Pettyfer, Mickey Rourke, and Ewan McGregor.
2015.01.06 00:32 Siegfried6IJW: Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)
"Interview with the Vampire" stars Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and a very young Kirsten Dunst. While director Neil Jordan accomplishes a rather good vampire movie, it is plagued by an inconsistent storyline and a few other problems. Daniel Molloy, a reporter, interviews Louis de Pointe du Lac (Brad Pitt), a 200-year old vampire. After a brief introduction between the two, Louis tells his life story to Daniel, hoping to enlighten him of the hardships that are part of being a vampire. He tells stories of Lestat, his maker (Tom Cruise) and his “child/partner”, Claudia (Kirsten Dunst). From here on out the rest of the movie takes place in flashbacks, neatly finishing up the present day story at the end of the movie. Brad Pitt plays his part convincingly, but not overly impressive. It feels a bit soulless, later he even admitted that work on the movie was a living hell. Tom Cruise is on a whole other level to me. Whenever he appears on the screen, your eyes cannot turn away from him, I was completely seduced by Cruise’s melodramatic portrayal of Lestat. He plays the more traditional vampire with little to no real human emotions besides greed and lust. Be warned: he plays it very over the top, which will turn some people away. I find that it suits him. Kirsten Dunst plays a very unique kind of vampire. At age 12 she plays a vampire stuck in the body of a child. And while i found her practically perfect for the role, I have to stick to my guns: Tom Cruise gives the most memorable performance of the three. Antonio Banderas isn’t even worth mentioning, his role was just okay, maybe even a bit lacking. The cinematography by Philippe Rousselot gives of an uncomfortably strong vibe that can only be described as gloomy. It is filmed with a kind of class and elegance that feels very much in touch with the costumes and overall lifestyle of our main characters. The costumes, sets and especially the make-up are top-notch. It’s with such high production values that it becomes crystal clear how the script falls a bit short. The overall second half of the movie lacks focus and could have been improved with a more convincing source of tension. It is however a nice metaphor for Louis’ life story. Furthermore, he film gets a bit too melodramatic for my liking. The ending was more than satisfying, creating a creative conclusion to a hauntingly sad story. The good: Tom Cruise, sets, make-up, costumes, ending, cinematography The Bad: lacking script and overall plot progression, Antonio Banderas, sometimes scenes could have been handled a bit more subtle, creating a more mysterious and intriguing story that invites its viewers to give their interpretation Bottom line: Interview with The Vampire feels like a movie that failed to be the character study it was supposed to be. A horror movie it is also not, as you will never be really scared. It should mostly be seen for its more then excellent production values. If you’re not interested in those and are only looking for fascinating main characters and stellar plot, read the book. ★★★½☆ I hope you enjoyed the review, if you did check out my other reviews here: http://onetruereviewer.wordpress.com/ or leave a comment here on reddit, thanks!
The show is awesome. It takes Quentin's original characters and re-imagines their storylines and trajectory, introduces new characters and will surprise the audience with it's twists and turns. I'm really proud of it, it's edgy and cool freaking scary. The whole season takes place from dusk til dawn. It's going to be one hell of a night.
CHINGON will be back with a VENGEANCE. We just recorded several big songs for Dusk Til Dawn, and will be releasing them soon, they're insanely catchy. Also, several of the Chingon band members are onscreen as the band in the Titty Twister bar in the new Dusk.
I shot those on my home video camera and would show the films to the teachers and students in the assembly hall. I was the only kid in the school with a video camera making movies, so I convinced the teachers to let me make films instead of writing term papers, and they'd give me grades as long as I included the class subject somehow in the project in a creative way. Even if it was an action film! One year I had a guy running around in a hoodie as a killer for a Halloween spoof and then seperately filmed one of the teachers pulling the hood off. He didn't realize i was going to edit it to look like the teacher was the killer until the screening. Good times.
Day has been great so far, doing publicity for Dusk. I do watch some of the old movies if people tell me they've been enjoying them recently. people on set were talking about The Faculty, which i hadn't seen in a long time, i watched some of it and enjoyed it. It felt so long ago
I would love to do another book or series of books, I kept my journal after Rebel Without a Crew and there's a lot of amazing stuff that happened and that I witnessed in Hollywood from that time on. It would take a bit of time to edit it down, but i may take that on soon.
They're alternate universes! Juni is a cholo in Machete and Carmen is KILLJOY in Machete Kills. MACHETE is "Uncle" Machete in SpyKids. And Antonio Banderas is "EL Cameleon" in MAchete KIlls and "Uncle" Machete's brother and the spy dad in Spy Kids. CHeech is fake Uncle Felix in Spy Kids and Machete's BROTHER in MAchete. There's probably another connection I'm forgetting...
I came from a big family, and growing up with my siblings inspired the SpyKids series. I had started out making prototypes to Spykids like my short film BEDHEAD starring my siblings. They did really well at festivals and with audiences, and I always wanted to make something like that even though I was becoming known for El Mariachi and Desperado and From Dusk Til Dawn. Eventually i had kids of my own and wanted to make films they could be a part of and watch. It was a nice palette cleanser.
I remember when we first started out, we'd skip out on work sometimes and go to his apartment and he'd string up 16mm grind house films on his old projector and project them on his wall. Great memories of watching Rock All Night and White Lightening. Lotsa laughs in those films.
When actors live in Texas I tell them it's a great place to get exposure in film and television and sometimes work alongside stars like Robert DeNiro, because we can't bring all of our actors from LA so we have to cast a lot locally to fill the roles. And this gives local actors an opportunity to work alongside their heroes in a way they would never get in LA. Look for any open casting calls and seek out relationships with local casting, like Third Coast casting (they cast most of my movies).
I try to study different disciplines: music, painting, sculpture, and always under instruction and guidance of masters, people who are much much better than I could ever be. It teaches me the art of creativity and actually helps me as a filmmaker more than if I were to go watch another director work. The creative processes are always similar in those disciplines, and it is endlessly inspiring to watch someone who is excellent at their craft work their magic.
There was a theater my parents would take me and my nine siblings to in San Antonio Texas called the Olmos Theater. It was a revival theater and showed double and triple features. Usually old MGM musicals, marx brothers, and some times Hitchcock double features. My favorite movie experience as a kid was seeing a double feature of Spellbound and Rebecca (my mom took us cause her name was also Rebecca) and it blew me away. The Salvador Dali dream sequence in Spellbound haunted me and compelled me to make films of my own.
I do remember seeing Escape From New York and seeing that John Carpenter often wrote, directed, edited and scored his films. It made me want to be a filmmaker and made me think it was possible because he financed all his films independently.
I found myself gravitating towards telling stories visually from a young age. Before I even had my first camera. It started with sequential art in fourth grade, and then flip cartoon movies in fifth grade (using the sides of paperbacks), to taking storyboard type fotos with a polaroid, graduated to super 8 at age 12, and then finally a home video camera at 12/13. have been shooting digital since then!
I make these monster ravioli's out of a homemade wine pasta, (i substitute white wine for the egg white) and it just MELTS in your mouth. It barely stays together during the cooking process, so use a gentle hand, but dammmnnn.
I don't ever really have a list, i probably should start one. Usually it comes to me once I have the script and i try and match people to the characters. It usually surprises me who I think of, people that I usually never would have thought of before, but something in the character sparks the idea.
When I was 16 my first boss at photo shop I worked at saw my photographs and said I was creative. He told me that I then needed to apply myself and learn to be technical. Because technicians always need creative people and creative people are always in need of technicians. But if I learned to be both, i would be unstoppable. That set me on a path to learn how to do every job on a movie set. From loading a camera to setting a light to recording sound, etc. It was that advice that made doing El Mariachi without a crew possible.
Have worked with Robert Patrick now three times. He was always great, but he just keeps getting better. He brings a lot of layers to his portrayal of Jacob Fuller, he's just amazing. I love Comic Con! hope to make it back this year with some Sin City 2.
Expect the unexpected from the Dusk series, it will be very surprising and dive deep into a new mythology. Other original content is going to be announced officially later this week, we are also working on a new show with Bob Orci called MATADOR.
It seemed to be such a fan favorite over the years that I've gotten fan feedback, and it felt like the perfect thing for El REy Network, especially since Quentin's characters have never been on TV before. Expanding that world has been a great experience that I'm sure the audience will enjoy. Check it out March 11 on El Rey Network! It's currently carried on Time Warner, Comcast, Cox, and Direct TV. Check your listings, you probably already have it.
2013.10.03 02:05 unakiThanks Riot for your nod to Once Upon a Time in Mexico with Mafia Jinx
Not sure how many remember the movie in the title but it is an old (2003) film about this vigilante (Antonio Banderas) who is being hunted by a rogue CIA agent (Johnny Depp) and has two partners who actually have a mariachi band. Each of the 3 has a special guitar case; Antonio has a case with a secret compartment that holds quite a few guns, the second guy has a rocket launcher built into his and the third guy has a minigun that pops out when he opens the case from his hip. As soon as I saw the animation for her Q with the case opening up and the minigun popping up (With case flopping underneath) I immediately thought of this movie, which is also part of a series that started with a low-budget film called El Mariachi. I love you Riot.
Big. I love it when Tom Hanks says, "Hey, it's the guy from the meeting." I wrote a script called "Past Perfect" that's the best thing I've ever written. It stills makes me laugh and cry. It never got made. Maybe one day. I watch a decent amount of TV but there's only so many hours in the day. You really have to be selective. I've got a wife and kids and a job. Not so much Jewish jokes. Maybe because in LA there's so many Jews, so what's the point?
You're welcome! I was a lawyer and I quit when I got into film school. I went to the producing program at USC. The connections there are amazing, well worth the money. I think query letters are always going to be a last resort because people (agents) only trust word of mouth. So getting your material into the hands of someone who can make a personal referral is going to be so much better.
My big picture advice is, if you want to work in Hollywood, take the plunge into the deep end. Quit your job, move to LA, work in a mail room, do whatever it takes for say two years, and then you'll know if you've got what it takes. Don't send emails from afar and hope to get discovered. Be proactive!
It's probably lower than you think. Maybe 5? We hear a lot about people in this business breaking in after 20 years. But I think a lot of writers break in after they get their voice. I sold my 3rd script. It's probably a simple bell curve. Very few writers sell their first script, but very few sell their 20th because maybe twenty scripts that didn't sell means something about them not connecting with the buyers.
It's getting even harder to break in these days. Studios are cutting back and only making tent pole movies based on pre-existing material. That's to hedge against the risk of a $200M production budget.
But I think the general feeling that Hollywood is closed off to new ideas and it's all "who you know" is really a myth that comes from not being here and seeing how it works. I'm sure my ideas about how Ford decides how many cup holders to put in a minivan are pretty far off. The point is, if you're serious, you move to LA, you make relationships, and you figure it out. I know that's a tall order for most people, but that's really the only way to give it your best shot.
Totally the same in movies. Ideas are a dime a dozen, it's all about execution. I mean, for every big idea--Liar Liar--there's Bridesmaids which is what we call "low concept." If I had a truly inspired idea, I might not post it on Twitter, but ultimately, I'm never afraid of telling people my ideas in a room. Stealing ideas is not as common as you'd think.
Ha, you'd be surprised. The DVD division is much more profitable than the theatrical. They basically take library properties and make sequels. I wrote Kindergarten Cop 2, Big Fat Liar 2, and 2 American Pie DVD titles. It's not glamorous but it's a great gig, pays well, and the stuff gets made. They budget those movies at a few million, and because they have built in fan bases ("Hey, I saw Big Fat Liar, I didn't know there was a sequel!") the revenue from all the windows always turns a profit.
I love Election because it's smart and funny and I always sit down and try to write something sophisticated like that. But then I feel the need to make it even "funnier" and it winds up being pretty far from Election. I actually don't gravitate towards big laughs in comedies--I'm NOT an Adam Sandler fan. I loved Crazy, Stupid Love.
Funny story, I was done with Book of Love and home for Passover I think and I got this call from Universal. "Tara Reid is going to do a cameo. Can you write her a part? We need it by tomorrow!"
So I raced to my laptop and wrote a new character, the principal of East Great Falls, and I worked in Vicky (that's her character's name) and a backstory on how she got the job, and gave her a big set piece and a story line. I turn it in, and the exec says, "Oh, she dropped out. Sorry."
Of course it jumped the shark! The movie was about guys losing their virginity! But you can't blame the studio from wanting some more money out of its billion dollar franchise. And the people behind the sequels aren't cynical--we're trying to make it funny and sweet like the original. The DVD titles all have completely new characters these days, and there are still original stories to be told about the craziness of trying to get laid in high school.
But I do see your point about American Reunion. Getting back the original cast was a big risk. And by big I mean, $50M versus $5-10M for a DVD title.
I wrote a pilot for Fox back in the day called "The Teen Age" about genetically-engineered kids from the future sent back in time to learn about adolescence. It sounds stupid but it was really funny. I did a show about a young judge called "Your Honor" at UPN (we lost out to the "Mullets"--true story). I wrote one called "The Wisenheimers" about a family of geniuses. One at ABC Family about a teen journalist. And I've got one in contention right now at ABC Family about a gym teacher. I've been able to sell pilots but never able to get them made or on the air.
Oddly, I'd say Lewis Carroll. I was heavily into his writing as a teenager and I think I just felt inspired that one word could make such a huge difference in the sentence. He was a master of painting with words.
Oops, forgot no. 4. That's a hard one. I guess I just gravitated toward the movies I liked to see. I'm not a stand up comedian but still there's something nice about the way characters in comedies wrap up things so nicely and learn some useful lesson. Seriously. The real world is hard enough without another incest or rape movie, or some guy torturing girls i a dungeon.
There's still a bit of stigma--who doesn't want to be with a major publisher?--but the reality is even my friends who have major book deals wind up doing all their own promotion. The royalties are insanely better for self-publishing, but it's mostly about control. I wrote my book exactly the way I wanted to. Being a screenwriting is awesome, but it's also frustrating. Everyone changes everything. People think I wrote some lame movie when maybe my original script was pretty awesome (for the sake of argument). But my novel is all me. If it sucks, it's on me, and if it's great, it's on me. I'm proud of the way it turned out and I can't take that same pride of authorship on everything I've done.
I'll tell you the moment but not for the reason you're thinking. Okay, so we're on the set of Slackers, and it's the first day, and the crazy director Dewey Nicks who's a fashion photographer shows up in a powder blue tuxedo. He's is literally Zoolander.
Devon Sawa walks into the set, does his line, and Dewey starts yelling, "Ooh, no, I've got it, don't say that, say ___. Go back, come in, go over there." And the 1AD is like, "Cut?" but Dewey is like, "No, keep rolling, keep rolling." And the sound mixer is like, "Is he going to keep talking during the scene?" And Dewey is like, "Fix it in post!"
So this goes on all day, with Dewey changing the lines and blocking mid-scene, and talking over the actors. And that's when I knew the movie business wasn't going to be like I expected it to be.
Ha, I hear you. I actually have a whole other area of my career doing animation. I went in for a meeting one day at Disney and walked out having sold a pitch (yes, that does happen once a lifetime). After that, I was "in" animation. I took a lot of meetings with DreamWorks, went in on Kung Fu Panda, and ultimately got PIB. I've actually written for every animation studio and probably do that more than teen comedies these days. But if someone wants to hire me to write American Pie 37 I try to figure out how to make it not suck.
It's the hardest thing I do. When I go into a meeting and I don't know my characters like I know my real friends, I'm in big trouble. I guess it's just about adding layers and thinking in terms of actions, not just opinions. Like, Dylan is the guy who does x not just thinks x. When you can fill in the details with back story and events then you know your characters. This can take a month or a year.
I always say voice over is used by novices and experts but I've been guilty of that, so I'll go with excessively long dialogue scenes where there's no action. I'd say time travel is a sub-genre of sci-fi, but you can also have a romance with a time-travel element (The Time Traveler's Wife) or other genres, so maybe it's more accurate to just say it's a device.
Incredibly late in life. Okay, maybe not that late. 26? But no one came to my high school career day and said, "Come to Hollywood!" I hated writing in high school. Essays were my nemesis in college. I guess once I became a lawyer and got used to just sitting down and getting the writing done, that's when I realized I wanted to write something creative. In fact, I went to film school for producing, so even then I didn't know writing was going to be my career. I sold my first script at 30.
I'm not much a "joke" guy but my favorite funny line is probably from my book where one guy meets a girl and tells her his name. She replies, "Patience." And I wrote, "Walker hoped it was her name and not some sort of cryptic message."
Yes, it's awkward to mention the movies at all, because it's like, "Hi, please judge me." But again, it's hard to take the insults OR the praise too personally because a movie is the product of hundreds of people and usually more than one writer.
Of course I'd love to see Apatow in action, if nothing else than to see how his improv techniques work. The truth is, I haven't worked that closely with directors. Sometimes there's a different writer on the project by the time it's shooting, other times they just don't have much to say to the writer. On sets, the writer is the other guy there with nothing to do, and it's not like JB Rogers was like, "Hey, Dave, what do you think?"
Plus, the types of movies I've written that got made have not attracted A-list directors. I'm not complaining-- it was an amazing experience being on set of Slackers and seeing my script get made into a movie. But my fantasy of being a partner in that process is pretty far from reality.
I love Happy Endings because it's just so fast and there's so much in there that's beyond dialogue. They do pop culture to the nth degree. Sometimes I have to go back and watch a line over again to get the joke. I also like New Girl because the characters are really well written. Modern Family for the impeccable story structure. I tried Portlandia but I was like, "eh." Maybe I'm getting too old if my tastes are all network.
Thanks! It is weird when an actor becomes a character that you created and already got to know. Puss in Boots, we already knew Antonio Banderas was Puss so we were already writing for him. But like in the film I directed, Miss Dial, your brain has to relearn that this actor is the character now, not the image you had when you were writing it. Usually the actor breathes much more life into the character than you imagined. But sometimes, I still have to remind myself that the original way I imagined it isn't the reality of the movie. That's true a lot in Slackers where I still think about the guys' room as being my room from college, not the set they built for the movie.
It's more than that. You have to describe what everything and everyone looks like, create their personalities, then figure out the plot, dialogue, action, etc. The director works with the crew to decide what the shot is going to look like (the set, the angle, the lighting) and works with the actors to get the performance and nuance he's looking for. You can find scripts all over the internet if you want to see what they look like.
The WGA is the guild that covers screenwriters. They set the minimum at around $87,000 for an original script, but if you have a track record or more than one studio wants to buy it, scripts can go for hundreds of thousands of dollars or even millions.
I wish. I made the mistake of getting married before I became successful. I love my wife and we're happily married, but not a day goes by without me wondering just how far I could parlay mid-level screenwriting success. I know a lot of short Jewish guys who are doing pretty damn well in that department from a few credits on IMDB.
It used to come up all the time. In 2000 when we were making the movie, Linklater threatened to sue us. Actually, the working title changed 10 times until it went back to Slackers. Now I think more people know about Slackers than Slacker.
Start with action! I'm a big fan of the opening set piece no matter what genre. Characters are defined by their action not dialogue. So jump right in with something awesome and your audience will get who your characters are by how they act and react.
More of the latter. I was the first writer but the writer of #1 rewrote me. I'd say my biggest contribution was the love story between Jim and Michelle. Oh, and there was a 3-way scene between Jim and Michelle and Nadia that never made it into the final script. (The idea being that Michelle wanted Jim to get over Nadia by finally letting him sleep with her.) That scene became the Stifler 3-way.
Ha, I know it sounds like I'd do anything for a paycheck, but you have to understand that everyone thinks the project is going to be great in the beginning. Things go south on you, and sometimes it's my fault. A lot of times it isn't. Most of my best work never got made. I just directed a film that's sweet and I'm really proud of it.
But to answer your question, yes, I turn stuff down all the time. My agent knows not to ask about sports movies because I hate them.
Entourage I'm sure exists to some degree, but first of all, they're actors, not writers. Secondly, it's fiction, or at best fictionalized. They make it seem more exciting because it's a TV show. The reality is that most everybody in Hollywood is just trying to break in, succeed, find love, get married, and raise a family. When I go into meetings at studios or networks, we usually talk about our kids or preschool, not banging actresses.
Thanks. I'm really proud of it. It's some of my best writing. I know I'm not supposed to be pushing stuff on people here, but I think people would really like it. You can download the first chapter for free.
I liked the original best. - I was in a meeting once at Pierce Brosnan's company and we did the meeting in his office because he was out of town. But then in the middle of the meeting, he walks in and says, "What are you doing in my office?" I almost shit my pants. Then he laughs and we got introduced and he hugged me and almost picked me up off the ground. - I'd like to work with the funny people like Steve Carrell or Tina Fey or Apatow.
Well, first of all, my Twitter picture is me when I was 10. But I assure you the numbers add up. I was a lawyer at 23, practiced law for 4 years, went to film school at 27, sold my first script at 30, and now I am 42. If you've seen a recent picture and think I look young, thank you, the key is never going outside.
Thank you. In animation, those kinds of jokes are almost always the product of story board artists. Sometimes a writer might come up with it, but it's usually something the board artist pitched in the room, Jeffrey said "love it" and they did a temp animation for it. At Pixar they call that "plus"-ing the scene.
I pitch all the time, sometimes completed scripts, but usually ideas or "takes" for writing jobs. I just use an outline and do some ad lib. It's something you get better at with experience and when you get good at it, they say you're "good in the room."
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On Sunday, Antonio Banderas brought his daughter Stella and girlfriend Nicole Kimpel to the 92nd Academy Awards, where he was nominated for Best Actor for hi... In New York, the polite dance instructor Pierre Dulaine sees a black teenager vandalizing the car of the director of a public school and on the next day he v... Twenty-one-year-old Stella Banderas comes from an extremely good gene pool. Her parents are the actors Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith, while her half-... If you're new, Subscribe! → http://bit.ly/Subscribe-to-Looper From the swashbuckling Zorro to the gunslinging mariachi, Antonio Banderas has been a household... On this episode of 'Slang School,' Antonio Banderas teaches you Spanish slang words. Antonio stars in 'Genius: Picasso' which premieres April 24 at 9/8c on N... Antonio Banderas and Nicole Kimpel share a kiss on the red carpet for the 2019 Cannes amfAR Gala at Hotel du Cap Eden Roc in Antibes Cannes, France on Thursd... Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Antonio Banderas’ marriage to Melanie Griffith was one of the strongest in Hollywood, but then they ended up like many others. Today, after his successful ro... Check out our Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/belikewater... Check out our website for more information @ http://belikewaterproduction.com/ This Video is owned ...