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Reds Game Day Thread - Tuesday, September 08

2020.09.08 11:00 RedsModerator Reds Game Day Thread - Tuesday, September 08

Reds @ Cubs - 08:15 PM EDT

Links & Info

Probable Pitcher (Season Stats) Report
Reds Tyler Mahle (1-1, 3.90 ERA, 30.0 IP) Mahle has looked very good in his last two starts, totaling 13 2/3 innings. In his seven-inning no-decision on Wednesday vs. St. Louis, he didn't command his off-speed pitches until later in the game, but it helped him retire his final seven batters in a row.
Cubs Alec Mills (3-3, 5.50 ERA, 37.2 IP) Mills allowed four runs on seven hits in five innings against the Pirates on Thursday. He has faced the Reds twice this year, allowing six runs in nine innings with five strikeouts and three walks.
Reds Lineup vs. Mills AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Votto - 1B .125 .722 8 1 1 1
2 Castellanos - RF 1.000 3.333 3 1 2 0
3 Winker - DH .143 .971 7 1 2 0
4 Suárez, E - 3B .100 .582 10 1 1 5
5 Moustakas - 2B .000 .000 2 0 0 0
6 Aquino, A - LF .000 .200 4 0 0 2
7 Akiyama - CF .000 .000 4 0 0 0
8 Garcia, J - SS .000 .000 1 0 0 1
9 Barnhart - C .000 .200 4 0 0 0
10 Mahle - P - - - - - -
Cubs Lineup vs. Mahle AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Happ, I - CF .000 .250 9 0 0 4
2 Bryant - 3B .250 .625 8 0 0 2
3 Rizzo - 1B .200 .761 15 1 3 1
4 Báez, J - SS .267 .912 15 1 1 6
5 Schwarber - LF .357 1.230 14 2 4 6
6 Contreras - C .154 .385 13 0 0 5
7 Kipnis - DH .500 1.458 6 0 1 3
8 Bote - 2B .200 .400 5 0 0 2
9 Maybin - RF - - - - - -
10 Mills - P - - - - - -
NLC Rank Team W L GB (E#) WC Rank WC GB (E#)
1 Chicago Cubs 24 18 - (-) - - (-)
2 St. Louis Cardinals 17 17 3.0 (-) - - (-)
3 Milwaukee Brewers 18 21 4.5 (23) 4 1.5 (19)
4 Cincinnati Reds 18 23 5.5 (21) 6 2.5 (17)
5 Pittsburgh Pirates 13 26 9.5 (18) 9 6.5 (14)

Around the Division

MIN 7 @ STL 3 - Final
MIN @ STL CWS @ PIT 07:05 PM EDT
MIL @ DET 07:10 PM EDT
Last Updated: 09/08/2020 05:53:45 PM EDT, Update Interval: 5 Minutes
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2020.08.26 01:10 Henry1502inc Seen some pretty depressing posts on here, here's a success story:) (I hit the tinder dating lottery)

Ok so this post has 3 parts, my story, my strategy, and my advice to you all, mostly guys. 6ft, 25 years old black guy, slim build (used to be incredibly in shape), used to have more money than I knew what to do with, traveled, and pretty dry humor. Lives in Northeast USA.
My story So during lockdown, I matched with a couple girls while watching 90 day fiance. Met up with one (had fun, no sex, period), chemistry was on point, but trust and insecurities on her end killed it. Although she's always left the door open for me even as she flies to and from DC and SF frequently. Matched with another girl (2) who just rejoined tinder, her first day back, and we just clicked. Not going to lie, I was still playing the field, I assumed she was too because a lot of women from my experience do despite saying otherwise. Anyway, matched with a couple more, chemistry's there for most. Damn, having quality options is stressful as fuck as a guy. You go through weeks, months of drought, and boom, a bunch of women show up out of nowhere suddenly interested. If you don't pick one fast enough, they all drop you all at the same time, it's like they are all synced up, its soooo weird and unfair. Personally I don't know how some guys manage to have multiple people on rotation. It's like a full time job. Anyway girl 3 and I are planning a trip to LA and Phoenix deep into lockdown and then my money dries up from the stock market, I was really hoping NY would go down in flames and NVDA (Nividia, semiconductor company) would print gold. I timed it wrong and lost 90%. Girl 2 is even more interested in me now for some reason. We get really close. Turns out last guy really hurt her, and I was there at the right place and time, and listened. She ends up really trusting me. --I'm talking bout setting up joint investment accounts (she gave me her social security number, she could find out mine). She has access to the account which has all my money in the account. TD Ameritrade kept asking, dude are you sure you trust her lol, she could cash out and disappear with you're money. In this account, my profits have shot up. I'm a lot more conservative now that I know she can see my losses. --I'm talking bout, her offering to pay for everything to see me. --I'm talking bout her telling me when she found out she had a trust fund, the exact dollar amount, and when the split payments become available (27 yrs, 32 yrs, 37 yrs). She said just be honest and treat her good. --I'm talking bout her offering a 3sum with her female best friends who are all down. --I'm talking bout her offering her bank info and i'm like nahh i don't need it now lol (I made $1200 last monday on the stock market with nvda, I was complaining and asking if i can send her my profits so i don't overspend, she was like want my bank and routing info to wire it into. I was sooo taken back with how comfortable she is with me). Honestly, at this point, I really trust her. She's learned to compromise with my quirks (depression/lack of communication especially when I have a bad market day). I'm learning to deal with her very "real" life with some off the wall depression and other issues. She's the type of person you would have never guessed because they always seem so happy. We're not even in an official relationship... she's tried unsuccessfully by giving me ultimatums lol. She's kind of ok with it now, but I'm sure that'll change when covid fears go away.

Strategy Tinder Plus works in the sense that it puts you in front of new women before the avalanche of guys can penetrate her screen. You're basically paying for speed, options, and visibility. If you can afford it, boosts and super likes seem to work for me, less now than before. It speeds up matches as well.
Coffee Meets Bagel used to be the best OLD app 5 years ago but now they basically try to extract as much money out of guys as possible. For example, you can pay like $5 to send a girl a single rose pedal (6 i think completes an entire flower), but most women on the app often have over 100+ guys in line already, there's no guarantee she will even see you're grand gesture, or that she will match with you. 99% chance you lose all you're money.
Bumble had so much promise. As a guy we should all want bumble to succeed. They never will but we can dream. The problem with bumble is, after you swipe right on every women, you'll get 4 matches. The two woman you're least attracted/interested in will be the ones who message and put in real effort........... Maybe 1/2 you find attractive will send you a half ass hey message. Every. Single. Time. But usually they expire without a conversation going anywhere. I guess this is what a lot of women mean when they say quantity isn't always the best thing.
Hinge is pretty chill. A lot of women on the app surprisingly use it for hookups (please don't flood the app), a lot actually are open to some kind of relationships, it's refreshing. Not to sound like an asshole here but the app doesn't seem to have the most attractive base. I think it's largely where I am, because my god Pittsburgh is popping. As a normal guy, hinge may be you're best bet. I would pay a pretty penny to know what percentage of their base filters based on race and other characteristics but wouldn't admit it in person.
My advice This is going to go against what many people think but please don't give a fuck when you're on tinder or most of these apps. I feel like some of you are overthinking things a lot and stressing yourselves out. Find a good boilerplate message that isn't used to much, with fillers to swap out names, and you're on you're way. Claim ignorance if people say they've heard it before lol. I can't tell you just how many times coming in aggressive, not caring, or messaging with a tinge of assholeness has worked.
Keep you're bio short and simple. 5 things about yourself. 3-4 pics of yourself, 1 of you doing something or with friends. Steal (borrow) a dog. Claim you're terrible ex stole you're dog and xbox when ya'll split. Now you both have a common enemy (you're ex and her ex's). Shamelessly use everything to you're advantage. If you have a prestigious job, find a way to say it in you're profile. If you're in grad school, put that shit in, you've got vision and are going places! Put you're salary/income if you make a lot, trust me it works, if it's high enough for you're age and location, its the equivalent of saying you're a Harvard Alum, people sit up and take you slightly more seriously. Ex: $100k salary for a 22 yr old guy in Ohio is a flex. $150k for a 27 year old in SF? You might as well be homeless, $300k TC or GTFO (I'm joking, not really, coastal cities are expensive af).
Stop putting women on a pedestal, they are just people. Look we've all been there, especially if shes beautiful. But you would be surprised how much goodwill you get from some really attractive women for having the balls to approach, not say something stupid, not try to buy her, stand you're ground and not be a push over. For ex: I'll go out looking like a bum (it helps to have a Mercedes), approach a woman saying something dumb like, "let me guess, you are an overworked grad student?" If she's interested, she'll give you 20 seconds to shoot you're shot. Next thing you know, you're taking about her program, and how she just got back from xyz country, and has been in the peace corp or teach for america.
Don't be clingy. This one took me too long to understand. Say you meet someone you're interested in, the initial contact/conversation went well, don't linger. Give out you're contact, tell her to have fun with her friends and go do you. She will reach out and circle back if she's interested. If she's not, you at least got done whatever you wanted to and didn't waste you're time putting all you're eggs in one basket.
Honesty and directness does sometimes work.
Avoid people who don't want meetup within a week or two. The longer you spend talking without meeting, the greater the chance you'll never meet or you two won't work out. Honestly, if a woman want's to meet you, she will see you same day, and definitely same week. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you or is an outlier. Women who are extremely busy but interested will turn you down but will say I am free these days around these times. That's the key difference. If they aren't interested, they won't give you a chance. Chances are they're talking to someone else and or meeting up with another guy. Same rule applies during Covid. Seems like women in super liberal areas are the last holdouts. I remember complaining to my friend in Miami about women not wanting to meetup, she was confused because everyone in Miami gave 0 fucks, and were meeting up at bars/restaurants that everyone knew were open illegally. If you ask some women in DC and SF to meetup somewhere you'll get a lecture about how we're in a pandemic..... You do realize it takes at best 18 months to rush a drug, most usually take 10+ years before hitting the market. Are you really telling me you'll be the only person not meeting anyone for 18+ months while most of the country is going on as usual? (I disagree with how some southern states are handling covid/reopening).
Lastly dating for some guys in my opinion is wayyyy harder. But some of you complaining are a bit unbelievable. Like I sit back and think, man you white guys have it soo much easier than everyone else on these apps. Many women on these apps absolutely treat you guys better and prioritize over other groups. I've seen a run of the mill average white guy, getting bodies thrown at him, whereas say a black guy gets crickets. Unless said black guy embraces/fits the stereotype which is incredibly annoying. Or said black/latino/asian guy lives/visits an area where they are seen as a unicorn. For me, Newfoundland Canada, god's best kept secret gift to the world. Next is Tennessee, Iowa/South Dakota, small town America, and Bali.
submitted by Henry1502inc to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.08.14 11:00 BuccosBot Pirates Game Day Thread - Friday, August 14

Pirates @ Reds - 07:10 PM EDT

Game Status: Final

Links & Info

Probable Pitcher (Season Stats) Report
Pirates Chad Kuhl (0-1, 3.21 ERA, 14.0 IP) No longer a tandem starter, Kuhl will get to work up to five innings in his second start of the season. He's been excellent so far, striking out 12 while allowing only two runs on six hits and three walks in nine innings.
Reds Sonny Gray (4-1, 2.05 ERA, 30.2 IP) Gray earned his first loss of the season Sunday in Milwaukee, and he will be trying to bounce back. He lacked his good fastball and resorted to off-speed-type stuff to get through.
Pirates Lineup vs. Gray, S AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Frazier, A - 2B .182 .364 11 0 0 3
2 Newman - SS .333 .762 6 0 0 0
3 Bell - 1B .167 .481 12 0 1 1
4 Moran - DH .000 .000 10 0 0 5
5 Reynolds, B - LF .500 1.875 8 2 2 3
6 Polanco, G - RF .000 .000 9 0 0 4
7 González, E - 3B .182 .523 11 0 0 4
8 Tucker - CF .400 .800 5 0 0 0
9 Stallings - C .200 .400 5 0 0 3
10 Kuhl - P - - - - - -
11 Turley - P - - - - - -
12 Stratton - P - - - - - -
13 Waddell - P - - - - - -
Reds Lineup vs. Kuhl AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Akiyama - LF .000 .000 3 0 0 1
2 Castellanos - RF .273 .727 11 0 2 4
3 Votto - 1B .538 1.588 13 1 2 1
4 Winker - DH .267 1.020 15 2 4 1
5 Senzel - CF .000 .500 1 0 0 0
6 VanMeter - 2B .000 .000 2 0 0 0
7 Galvis - SS .100 .282 10 0 1 3
8 Barnhart - C .143 .393 14 0 0 6
9 Farmer - 3B .500 1.000 2 0 0 1
10 Gray, S - P - - - - - -
11 Jones, N - P - - - - - -
12 Thornburg - P - - - - - -
NLC Rank Team W L GB (E#) WC Rank WC GB (E#)
1 Chicago Cubs 13 4 - (-) - - (-)
2 Cincinnati Reds 9 11 5.5 (37) 5 2.0 (39)
3 Milwaukee Brewers 8 10 5.5 (38) 6 2.0 (40)
4 St. Louis Cardinals 2 3 5.0 (45) 4 1.5 (47)
5 Pittsburgh Pirates 4 14 9.5 (34) 12 6.0 (36)

Around the Division

MIL 4 @ CHC 3 - Game Over
STL 0 @ CWS 0 - Postponed
Last Updated: 08/14/2020 11:32:03 PM EDT, Update Interval: 5 Minutes
submitted by BuccosBot to buccos [link] [comments]


2020.08.14 11:00 RedsModerator Reds Game Day Thread - Friday, August 14

Pirates @ Reds - 07:10 PM EDT

Links & Info

Probable Pitcher (Season Stats) Report
Pirates Chad Kuhl (0-0, 2.00 ERA, 9.0 IP) No longer a tandem starter, Kuhl will get to work up to five innings in his second start of the season. He's been excellent so far, striking out 12 while allowing only two runs on six hits and three walks in nine innings.
Reds Sonny Gray (3-1, 2.25 ERA, 24.0 IP) Gray earned his first loss of the season Sunday in Milwaukee, and he will be trying to bounce back. He lacked his good fastball and resorted to off-speed-type stuff to get through.
Pirates Lineup vs. Gray, S AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Frazier, A - 2B .250 .500 8 0 0 2
2 Newman - SS .333 .833 3 0 0 0
3 Bell - 1B .200 .500 10 0 1 1
4 Moran - DH .000 .000 7 0 0 4
5 Reynolds, B - LF .600 2.000 5 1 1 1
6 Polanco, G - RF .000 .000 6 0 0 2
7 González, E - 3B .125 .347 8 0 0 2
8 Tucker - CF .000 .000 2 0 0 0
9 Stallings - C .333 .667 3 0 0 1
10 Kuhl - P - - - - - -
Reds Lineup vs. Kuhl AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Akiyama - LF - - - - - -
2 Castellanos - RF .333 .889 9 0 2 3
3 Votto - 1B .545 1.600 11 1 2 0
4 Winker - DH .154 .420 13 0 1 1
5 Senzel - CF - - - - - -
6 VanMeter - 2B - - - - - -
7 Galvis - SS .125 .347 8 0 1 2
8 Barnhart - C .167 .452 12 0 0 5
9 Farmer - 3B - - - - - -
10 Gray, S - P - - - - - -
NLC Rank Team W L GB (E#) WC Rank WC GB (E#)
1 Chicago Cubs 13 3 - (-) - - (-)
2 Cincinnati Reds 8 11 6.5 (37) 7 2.5 (39)
3 Milwaukee Brewers 7 10 6.5 (38) 8 2.5 (40)
4 St. Louis Cardinals 2 3 5.5 (45) 4 1.5 (47)
5 Pittsburgh Pirates 4 13 9.5 (35) 12 5.5 (37)

Around the Division

MIL @ CHC 08:15 PM EDT
STL 0 @ CWS 0 - Postponed
Last Updated: 08/14/2020 01:07:04 PM EDT, Update Interval: 5 Minutes
submitted by RedsModerator to Reds [link] [comments]


2020.08.13 06:58 colorcodedcards "Someone help. I need help": Where is Monica Renee Bowie––a 34-year-old woman who was abducted in the parking lot of her upscale apartment complex in Atlanta, GA on the night of July 5, 2007?

Hi everyone! I'm back again with another lesser-known case––this time from Atlanta, GA. I want to give a quick s/o to u/Beardchester for the writeup they did on this case three years ago which gives a good initial outline of the case.
"A go-getter from the first day she learned to walk"
Monica Renee Bowie grew up in a middle-class neighborhood on Pittsburgh’s North Side with her mother, brother, and two sisters. She was close with her family and strove to set a positive example for her siblings by excelling in school–– “if you sat with Monica, she would wow you,” recalled her cousin, Lateshya Ellis. After graduating from Perry Traditional Academy, she enrolled in the accounting program at Cheyney University of Pennsylvania where she was chosen as the class valedictorian in 1996.
The ambitious Bowie was enchanted by the hustle and bustle of Atlanta and decided to relocate there in 2003. She got an apartment with her friend Danyell Sparks and the pair took full advantage of all the activities the city had to offer. Bowie first worked as a stripper for six weeks after her arrival in Atlanta but she had since redirected her attention to starting her own legitimate business.
Brenda Watkins, the manager of the Blue Flame, the club where Bowie worked, recalled her as a “nice girl, real nice.” She said that while Bowie primarily “kept to herself,” she was also “very ambitious”––Watkins was not sure if Bowie started stripping to invest in another business or not but she noted that she came in the club on occasion to “pass out new music from new artists.” Her first venture, Go2girls, was a hip-hop production company and she later opened LaCoca Wear Clothing, a boutique off Metropolitan Avenue.
Bowie had come a long way since her arrival in Atlanta––she successfully got two businesses off the ground and had found a good group of friends. “She didn’t allow negative things around her. That was her. She was a go-getter from the first day she learned to walk,” said Bowie’s mother Linda Howard. Sure enough, in 2006 Bowie moved out of the apartment she shared with Sparks and into her own place in the Berkshires at Lenox Place, an upscale building in an affluent area of Atlanta.
Her attorney described her as “a nice, happy, upstanding member of the Atlanta community” who had no issues aside from her “unfortunate brush with the law.”
This “unfortunate brush” was in fact Bowie’s first and only run-in with the law. On June 20, a police officer spotted her boyfriend Shernotta Walters standing in a Campbellton Road parking lot when he “smelled a strong odor of marijuana.” Walters was asked to identify his car in the parking lot which was subsequently searched by the officer who discovered marijuana, cash, and a firearm inside. Bowie had allowed her boyfriend to borrow her car and upon hearing that he would be arrested, she went to retrieve her vehicle. According to her attorney, she got to the scene and explained the situation to the officer who then arrested her alongside Walters. Bowie denied ownership of both the weapon and drugs found inside the car. Griggs said that the charges against his client were later dismissed in Fulton County Magistrate Court. Walters remained in the county jail, however, since possession of a gun was a violation of his parole.
Timeline
34-year-old Monica Bowie left her DeKalb apartment complex in the afternoon of July 5, 2007 to drive across town for an appointment with her attorney, Gerald Griggs. The two discussed her case and Bowie appeared to be in good spirits. Griggs said that “nothing was out of the ordinary”––Bowie was “smiling and laughing” and did not seem to have anything troubling her. She headed back home from his Decatur office around 4 p.m., ready to continue what seemed like just another day.
Later that evening, Bowie went out on the town and returned home later that night. A friend dropped her off in the parking lot at around 11pm. Around the same time, Brian Butler––a man who lived on the second floor of the complex––was working at his computer when his focus was interrupted by “loud shrills” which lasted about 30 seconds. “She was screaming ‘Someone help. I need help. Help me,” he told a reporter. Other witnesses told police that they saw a 2002 burgundy Mercury Sable speed away from the complex at about 11:10 p.m. but none reported seeing Bowie being put into the vehicle. The car had apparently been parked in the same spot earlier that day. Police were also given physical descriptions of two suspects by witnesses––a heavyset black male with a beard, possibly 20-30 years old and a small, dark-skinned black male in his late 20s-early 30s.
Multiple calls came in to 911 from the complex and police responded within minutes. Investigators quickly verified the witness reports and concluded an abduction had taken place––the parking lot showed clear evidence of a struggle. A woman’s green jacket, jewelry, a manila folder, a broken perfume bottle, a container of chicken wings, eyeglasses and two broken fingernails were found scattered in the parking lot. Papers found at the scene also bore Bowie’s name. The fingernails were sent to the crime lab for analysis but I could not find any information about the results of these tests if they were in fact conducted. The car was recovered in West Atlanta the day after the abduction and police noted that it was badly burned.
A bizarre twist in the case––one which I haven’t seen mentioned in other writeups––occurred nearly two weeks after Bowie disappeared. A spokeswoman for the Fulton County district attorney informed reporters that an investigating grand jury indicted both Bowie and Walters on July 10. She said that Bowie was indicted on one count of possession of marijuana with intent to distribute and one could of possession of a firearm and carrying a pistol without a license. When Bowie’s attorney was asked by a reporter if he wanted to respond to the charges against his absent client, Griggs was dumbfounded.
“That’s a surprise to me,” he said. “At this point our contention would be that the police have no evidence whatsoever linking my client to possession of any illegal substance. She was not the driver of that car, she was not in control of that car.”
Bowie’s mother Linda Howard then joined Griggs inside his Decatur office, staring down the small gaggle of reporters interested enough to show up. To Howard, the press conference was akin begging on her knees for media attention––the abduction of her daughter wrecked her emotionally and she couldn’t talk about Bowie without crying. Under normal circumstances she would have been able to talk about her daughter for hours but this time was different. This time Howard had to put her grief and trauma on public display––without it there was no hope of solving the case.
“Once the media stops, it’s hard to start it again,” Howard explained.
Bowie’s mother knew media exposure would be critical in solving her daughter’s case but she could not get anyone to cover it outside of Pittsburgh and Atlanta. Being the hometown of CNN headquarters, Howard assumed the broadcaster might be interested in the story only to be rebuffed. “I went to CNN personally and I couldn't get past the elevator,” Howard said. “I’ve been waiting for someone to call me back.” Without a way to secure a wider audience, the family focused on spreading awareness locally by holding prayer vigils and press conferences, posting fliers, and conducting door-to-door searches. Unfortunately, nothing came of their efforts––police largely remained at square one and had only concluded that Bowie probably knew her kidnappers and that her abduction was related to illegal drug activity.
Suspects
Shernotta 'Rico' Walters was ruled out as a suspect relatively quickly due to the fact that he was in jail at the time of Bowie’s disappearance. Law enforcement did consider him due to his prior criminal record and alleged involvement in drug dealing however no evidence was found that supported his involvement. From the beginning, Bowie’s family did not believe Walters was involved in her abduction but police understandably needed to investigate. Walters’ attorney, Dennis Scheib, told reporters that police questioned his client about the abduction. The pending charges against Walters was an obvious potential motive, but Scheib said that Bowie had “told [him] she would testify for him.” Police have named two suspects in connection with the murder.
27-year-old Lonnie Bennett was pulled over by police responding to the 911 calls while he was leaving the parking deck at the Lenox Apartments. The police incident report stated that Bennett was observed “coming out of or near” Bowie’s apartment after the alleged kidnapping, although it is unclear from news sources if the officer saw this and decided to pull him over or if that information was garnered from later witness interviews. In any case, the officer found a “large paper bag” in Bennett’s car which contained a “large amount” of cash, although police declined to specify exactly how much money there was. While Bowie’s attorney said that she did not know Bennett, he confirmed that he was “an acquaintance of Shernotta Walters.”
The second potential suspect identified by police was 24-year-old Jasper Devron Keels. Keels was arrested by DeKalb County police on Saturday and charged with theft for stealing the car used in the abduction as well as drug possession. Police said that Keels borrowed the car from an acquaintance on July 4 but instead of returning the vehicle to its owner, Keels abandoned it and set it on fire. The acquaintance, later identified as Tyrone Crawford, reported the vehicle as stolen the following day. Keels’ connection to the kidnapping was unclear from the beginning, as he was not thought to have known Bowie and police strongly suspected that Bowie knew her abductors.
“We are trying to see whether he has any connection to the kidnapping, but at this time we have not been able to make that link,” DeKalb County police spokeswoman Keisha Williams told reporters on July 17. “He’s not a suspect. Are we trying to connect him? Yes. But he’s not a suspect.”
In April 2018, Keels was arrested alongside another man following a traffic stop in Covington. A patrol officer spotted a gray Chrysler Pacifica travelling east U.S. Highway 278 and thought it looked similar to a BOLO (be on the lookout) put out by authorities in reference to multiple armed robberies and requested additional assistance. The two officers pulled the vehicle over and spoke with the driver and passenger who gave them fake names. The driver then abruptly hit the gas and floored it, prompting a high-speed chase. The occupants slowed down and then parked the car before both the driver and front seat passenger jumped out and ran across the median but the pair was quickly apprehended. Officers later identified the driver as Keels and charged him with giving a false name, felony fleeing and attempting to elude law enforcement, obstruction of officers, possession of cocaine, and driving with a suspended license.
As of 2020, no one has been charged with Monica Bowie's abduction and her family is still searching for answers in her case.
Questions:
  1. Who abducted Monica and why? If it was in relation to a drug dispute, how did she become involved? Was she collateral damage?
  2. To me, the fact that Monica’s own attorney wasn’t aware that a grand jury indicted his client on charges he thought were dismissed seems weird. I don’t necessarily know if it is related but how is it even possible for these proceedings to happen without the knowledge of the defendant’s attorney? Is it possible that the perpetrators knew of this indictment and silenced her for some reason?
  3. It has now been over seven years since Monica was abducted. Where is she? If she is dead, why hasn’t her body been found? I didn’t find any unidentified bodies matching her description in Atlanta, but there was one interesting potential match I found that I would love to get other people’s thoughts on––
The Elmore County Jane Doe (NamUs #UP5011) was found by a homeowner doing work on his property in Titus, AL on July 22, 2007. The man told police that he had rarely visited the property since 1991 and found the woman’s partial skeletonized remains while gardening. The body was wrapped in a green tarp tied with 72 feet of rope and buried in a shallow grave. Lime was also found at the scene which officers assumed was used to conceal the smell (it is a bit unclear if there was lime on the body as well).
[here is side-by-side comparison]
Due to the presence of the lime, authorities were unable to provide a specific estimated date of death but guessed that she died sometime between 1950 and 2007 (no postmortem interval could be established). Jane Doe’s ethnicity is listed as ‘uncertain’ on NamUS but the Doe Network also notes that she is probably black. Although the reconstruction shows her with short hair, the description notes that she actually had long, dark brown hair. Because only partial remains were discovered, the medical examiner was not able to provide an exact height but estimated she stood at around 5 feet tall.
There are a few striking similarities between Doe and Bowie, the close resemblance of Doe’s sketch to Bowie being the most notable one. The context in which Doe was found is also really interesting. If Bowie was killed by her abductors in Atlanta and then her body was transported to Titus in the car (perhaps in the trunk), it would make sense to wrap her in something to prevent her DNA from being found inside. Even if they planned on destroying the car from the beginning it would make sense to take extra precautions to prevent her DNA or hair from getting in the car in the first place. Additionally, the location Doe was found is only a 3-hour drive from Bowie’s apartment, meaning the person(s) transporting her body would have had plenty of time to drive there, dispose of her, drive back to Atlanta and burn the car (crossing state lines would also help throw off investigators further).
One thing that does not match up between Doe and Bowie is the height––Doe is estimated to be 5’0” while Bowie was 5’4”. I do know that the remains were incomplete which could throw off the height estimate but without knowing exactly which bones were recovered it is difficult to assess. The second point of contention is the stage of decomposition. Bowie was abducted on July 5 and the remains discovered on July 22 which seems like a pretty narrow window of time for a body to decompose so significantly. Finally, Bowie wore braces at the time of her abduction and it does not say anything about Doe wearing braces (it does say that dental records are available for comparison so perhaps there is additional information not listed in the profile).
Sources
Tiffany Cochran, “Friends Vow to Find Missing Woman,” 11 Alive News, July 20, 2007.
Juanita Cousins, “Abduction of woman suspected,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, July 9, 2007, pg. B5.
Man charged in July abduction of woman,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, September 14, 2007, pg. D5.
Jeff Mays, “Missing Atlanta Woman Monica Bowie Was Violently Kidnapped,” News One, November 7, 2013.
Andisheh Nouraee, “Monica Bowie kidnapping falls through cracks: Frustrations voiced for relative lack of media coverage,” Creative Loafing, July 25, 2007.
S. A. Reid, “Victim's lawyer shocked by abduction,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, July 11, 2007, pg. D7.
––– “Woman’s screams go unheeded in DeKalb abduction,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, July 10, 2007, pg. B3.
Marty Roney, “Body found in shallow grave,” Montgomery Advertiser, July 23, 2007, pg. 1A-4A. [part 1, part 2]
Jeffrey Scott, “Mom turns to media for help in case: Woman taken from DeKalb complex remains missing,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, July 14, 2007, pg. B3.
Jonathan Silver, “Vigil focuses on missing woman,” Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, July 17, 2007, pg. B1-B2. [part 1, part 2]
Larry Stanford, “Possible robbery suspects arrested after traffic stop,” Rockdale-Newton Citizen, April 2, 2018.
Deborah Todd, “Arrest made in Bowie kidnapping,” New Pittsburgh Courier, September 19, 2007, pg. A1-A4.
––– “Missing coverage for missing people,” New Pittsburgh Courier, August 1, 2007, pg. A1-A4.
––– “Pittsburgh native kidnapped in Atlanta,” New Pittsburgh Courier, July 18, 2007, pg. A1-A4.
Jodi Weigand, “Pittsburgh native who lives near Atlanta is missing,” Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, July 14, 2007.
Darryl Welch, “Robbery suspects arrested after high-speed chase on I-20,” Covington News, April 6, 2018.
submitted by colorcodedcards to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]


2020.08.11 03:10 Due-Faithlessness Devin Brown-Boussetta, missing from Pittsburgh since 2006

Devin Brown-Boussetta was originally from New York. She'd been raised by her grandmother there, alongside her aunt, who was only three years older than her. In her early teens, Devin and her family moved to Winter Park, Florida. Her family remembers her as creative, into fashion, dance, and writing.
Devin had a daughter, Amiah, with her high school sweetheart. They split up around 2001 when her daughter's father left to enter the military. However, they remained in contact.
In 2005, when she was 24, Devin met Hamed Brahim Boussetta. Boussetta owned a convenience store near where Devin lived. The two married that year after a fast courtship, to the surprise of Devin's family--Devin's family never met Hamed, and they were not invited to the wedding. The couple moved to Pittsburgh. Devin's family says that Hamed had promised to take care of Devin financially, and told her she wouldn't have to work.
However, the marriage didn't last long. After a few months, Hamed abruptly abandoned Devin and filed for divorce in May 2006 (note: there is a discrepancy between sources. Tribune gives this date, while podcast gives September 2005 as date Hamed filed for divorce). Family members say the divorce was contentious, because Devin was seeking alimony from Hamed. Devin had to move from their apartment in the Kennett Square neighborhood to one in the Mt. Washington neighborhood because she could no longer afford her rent. Hamed later surfaced in Florida.
Devin had brought her daughter from Florida to Pittsburgh. This triggered a custody dispute between Devin and her daughter's father, since their custody agreement forbade taking Amiah out of state without the other parent's consent. Amiah's father won the custody battle and came to Pittsburgh with an officer of the court to take Amiah back to Florida, in April 2006. This left Devin alone, without her husband or daughter, in an unfamiliar city.
After Hamed abandoned her and left her with unpaid bills, Devin got a job at a Pittsburgh nonprofit called ACORN. A friend* from work recalls that she and Devin met for lunch periodically, and remembers Devin saying, "Maybe I should just disappear." Devin lost this job in early September 2006. On or around September 5, she called her aunt from a T-Mobile, where she had gone to pay her phone bill. She was distraught about the loss of her job and her daughter. Her aunt had to end the call and promised to call back late that night, but wasn't able to reach Devin.
Devin was last seen on September 5, 2006. Her landlord came to her apartment, near Southern Avenue and Natchez Street in the Mt. Washington neighborhood, to perform some repairs. He found Devin eating Chinese food and ironing her laundry, leaving delicate items to soak in the sink.
Devin's family realized something was wrong when she didn't get in touch on her daughter's birthday (I believe September 15 or 16). Her landlord re-entered the apartment along with police, and found it almost exactly as he had left it--tv on, ironing board out, delicates in the sink, and half-eaten Chinese food on the counter--but Devin was gone. The apartment was locked, as if Devin had stepped out to run an errand.
In December, Devin's family was notified by mail that her car had been abandoned at a Pittsburgh gas station near Kennett Square and would be towed. They reported this to police, who searched the car but did not find any evidence. It's not clear how long the car had been at the gas station.
Devin has not been heard from since September 2006. Her family and friends seem to have a few theories about what might have happened to her, which I'll discuss below.
Hamed: Devin's family is very suspicious of Hamed and the speed with which their relationship moved. Devin's aunt has suggested that Devin may have threatened to expose his shady business dealings as leverage in their divorce (more below).
Ron Kashi: Kashi owned the apartment in Kennett Square that Devin and Hamed rented. Hamed may have moved to Pittsburgh due to his ties to Kashi, and according to Devin's aunt they had some kind of business dealings. Assets from Kashi's jewelry store were seized due to suspected money laundering, although he was never arrested.
Sex work: Devin made a friend* through work at ACORN. This friend believes that Devin may have been engaging in sex work because she was financially in dire straits. She stated that shortly before she disappeared, Devin tried to get her to go on a double date with two men.
Suicide: While this hasn't been explicitly stated by her family, it seems likely that police are investigating this case as a suicide. Devin was known to be distraught the day she was last seen.
Sources:
https://archive.triblive.com/news/prosecutor-wants-downtown-jeweler-to-forfeit-933000/
https://podtail.com/en/podcast/unfound-a-missing-persons-program/devin-brown-boussetta-stranger-in-a-strange-land/
*This friend may not be a reliable witness. She did not realize Devin was missing until over a decade later and was not interviewed until recently. Additionally, she made a statement to Unfound podcast about reading a news report of Devin being spotted in a homeless shelter shortly after her disappearance; however, there was never any contemporaneous news coverage of Devin's disappearance.
submitted by Due-Faithlessness to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]


2020.08.11 03:09 Due-Faithlessness Devin Brown-Boussetta, missing from Pittsburgh since 2006

Devin Brown-Boussetta was originally from New York. She'd been raised by her grandmother there, alongside her aunt, who was only three years older than her. In her early teens, Devin and her family moved to Winter Park, Florida. Her family remembers her as creative, into fashion, dance, and writing.
Devin had a daughter, Amiah, with her high school sweetheart. They split up around 2001 when her daughter's father left to enter the military. However, they remained in contact.
In 2005, when she was 24, Devin met Hamed Brahim Boussetta. Boussetta owned a convenience store near where Devin lived. The two married that year after a fast courtship, to the surprise of Devin's family--Devin's family never met Hamed, and they were not invited to the wedding. The couple moved to Pittsburgh. Devin's family says that Hamed had promised to take care of Devin financially, and told her she wouldn't have to work.
However, the marriage didn't last long. After a few months, Hamed abruptly abandoned Devin and filed for divorce in May 2006 (note: there is a discrepancy between sources. Tribune gives this date, while podcast gives September 2005 as date Hamed filed for divorce). Family members say the divorce was contentious, because Devin was seeking alimony from Hamed. Devin had to move from their apartment in the Kennett Square neighborhood to one in the Mt. Washington neighborhood because she could no longer afford her rent. Hamed later surfaced in Florida.
Devin had brought her daughter from Florida to Pittsburgh. This triggered a custody dispute between Devin and her daughter's father, since their custody agreement forbade taking Amiah out of state without the other parent's consent. Amiah's father won the custody battle and came to Pittsburgh with an officer of the court to take Amiah back to Florida, in April 2006. This left Devin alone, without her husband or daughter, in an unfamiliar city.
After Hamed abandoned her and left her with unpaid bills, Devin got a job at a Pittsburgh nonprofit called ACORN. A friend* from work recalls that she and Devin met for lunch periodically, and remembers Devin saying, "Maybe I should just disappear." Devin lost this job in early September 2006. On or around September 5, she called her aunt from a T-Mobile, where she had gone to pay her phone bill. She was distraught about the loss of her job and her daughter. Her aunt had to end the call and promised to call back late that night, but wasn't able to reach Devin.
Devin was last seen on September 5, 2006. Her landlord came to her apartment, near Southern Avenue and Natchez Street in the Mt. Washington neighborhood, to perform some repairs. He found Devin eating Chinese food and ironing her laundry, leaving delicate items to soak in the sink.
Devin's family realized something was wrong when she didn't get in touch on her daughter's birthday (I believe September 15 or 16). Her landlord re-entered the apartment along with police, and found it almost exactly as he had left it--tv on, ironing board out, delicates in the sink, and half-eaten Chinese food on the counter--but Devin was gone. The apartment was locked, as if Devin had stepped out to run an errand.
In December, Devin's family was notified by mail that her car had been abandoned at a Pittsburgh gas station near Kennett Square and would be towed. They reported this to police, who searched the car but did not find any evidence. It's not clear how long the car had been at the gas station.
Devin has not been heard from since September 2006. Her family and friends seem to have a few theories about what might have happened to her, which I'll discuss below.
Hamed: Devin's family is very suspicious of Hamed and the speed with which their relationship moved. Devin's aunt has suggested that Devin may have threatened to expose his shady business dealings as leverage in their divorce (more below).
Ron Kashi: Kashi owned the apartment in Kennett Square that Devin and Hamed rented. Hamed may have moved to Pittsburgh due to his ties to Kashi, and according to Devin's aunt they had some kind of business dealings. Assets from Kashi's jewelry store were seized due to suspected money laundering, although he was never arrested.
Sex work: Devin made a friend* through work at ACORN. This friend believes that Devin may have been engaging in sex work because she was financially in dire straights. She stated that shortly before she disappeared, Devin tried to get her to go on a double date with two men.
Suicide: While this hasn't been explicitly stated by her family, it seems likely that police are investigating this case as a suicide. Devin was known to be distraught the day she was last seen.
Sources:
https://archive.triblive.com/news/prosecutor-wants-downtown-jeweler-to-forfeit-933000/
https://podtail.com/en/podcast/unfound-a-missing-persons-program/devin-brown-boussetta-stranger-in-a-strange-land/
*This friend may not be a reliable witness. She did not realize Devin was missing until over a decade later and was not interviewed until recently. Additionally, she made a statement to Unfound podcast about reading a news report of Devin being spotted in a homeless shelter shortly after her disappearance; however, there was never any contemporaneous news coverage of Devin's disappearance.
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2020.08.01 12:10 jagsfanski Offseason Review Series: Jacksonville Jaguars

Before anything, I just want to preface by saying that I am filling in some huge shoes by following the legendary u/JaguarGator9. I am NOT a typical writer nor do I have any experience in analysis, I just wanted to take a stab at analyzing and writing about my favorite team that has been terrorizing my happiness for 15+ years. So, apologies in advance if there are some incorrect points made.
Also gotta give a shoutout to u/PlatypusOfDeath for continuing to run this series and for the formatting help! Also a thanks to u/flounder19 for directing me towards the thread where half of the info comes from and my bro u/MikeFanto4 for giving me the positive reinforcement through the writing of this. With that being said, hope y'all enjoy!

Jacksonville Jaguars

AFCS

2019 Record: 6-10 (4th in Division)

Coaching Changes

Fires:

Tom Coughlin – VP of Football Operations/Dictator: This will be discussed in the news section. Please hold.
Jon DeFilippo – Offensive Coordinator: It never really occurred to me until recently (give me a break Jags fans), that the firing of Flip was most likely directly related to Foles (even more so once he got hired by Chicago as QB coach). Once Foles was gone, Flip wanted out and they ultimately “mutually agreed to part ways”. While according to fans it would’ve been nice to see the other coordinator go, it shows that the front office “admitted” their mistake and decided to move on from the experiment.
Scott Milanovich – QB Coach: Milanovich took a job as the HC of the Edmonton Eskimos in the CFL. Before his 3-year stint in Jacksonville, he was the HC of the Toronto Argonauts in the CFL where he won the Grey Cup in 2012 and was also named Coach of the Year.

Hires:

Jay Gruden – Offensive Coordinator – The once HC of the Washington Football Team, Gruden comes into the organization bringing experience in molding younger quarterbacks. A big help is the fact that GM Dave Caldwell brought in a few players familiar with his scheme to assist in adjusting the other players to the playbook. Of all the OC candidates, Gruden is best fit for Minshew’s playstyle due to his West Coast Offense.
Ben McAdoo – Quarterbacks Coach: Brought in to replace Milanovich, McAdoo also brings HC experience to the team. Even though his time in the Giants organization is best left to be forgotten, his experience as an OC and QB coach makes him a prime candidate. He spent two seasons in Green Bay working with Aaron Rodgers and also helped the Giants to the 6th best scoring offense in the NFL in 2015.
Denard Robinson – Offensive Quality Control Coach: Not really a huge hire, but a nice reunion. Former QB turned RB, Denard “Shoelace” Robinson, continues his time in Duval as an assistant. He was drafted in the 5th round of the 2013 draft as an “Offensive Weapon” but played primarily at RB during his time as a player.

Free Agency/Trades

Players Lost/Traded

Player Position New Team Compensation
Nick Foles QB Bears Compensatory 4th round draft pick
Calais Campbell DE Ravens 5th round pick
A.J. Bouye CB Broncos 4th round pick
Marcell Dareus DT Free Agent
Marqise Lee WR Patriots 1 yr / $1,047,500
Jake Ryan ILB Free Agent
Cedric Ogbuehi RT Seahawks 1 yr / $2,300,000

Key Losses:

Nick Foles: After signing him to a MASSIVE 4-year contract worth $88 million, with $51 million guaranteed, the Jaguars thought they had their man in Super Bowl MVP Big Dick Nick. However, that did not live long since Foles broke his left clavicle during a 35-yard touchdown pass to DJ Chark. Once he was replaced by Bomb-Chuckin’ and Mom-Fuckin’ Gardner Minshew II, he was basically left as an afterthought in the Jaguars fanbase…..until the bye week. He was named the starter for the rest of the season and was severely disappointing in his limited time as it, thus resulting in him being benched after 3 games. In his time as a starter, he completed 77 passes for a completion percentage of 65.8%, 3 touchdowns and 2 interceptions, with a passer rating of 84.6. He was largely disappointing in his time here but left the door open for Minshew Mania. Foles was traded to the Bears for a 2020 Compensatory 4th round pick AND took parts of his massive contract and helped us start the return from cap hell. D+ for his play, B for the trade return.
Calais Campbell: I’m like, really upset about this one. I remember exactly where I was when I found out that this glorious human was traded to the Baltimore Ravens for a 5th round pick. Chump change for the 2019 Walter Payton Man of the Year award recipient. After being signed to a 4-year deal worth $60 million with $30 million guaranteed in 2017, the man proceeded to become the Mayor of the Defensive Line Formerly Known as Sacksonville. Amassing 31.5 sacks, 77 QB hits and 44 TFL in his 3 years on the team; not only was he a force on the field, he was very much involved in the Phoenix and Jacksonville communities. In 2019, Campbell won the Walter Payton Man of the Year award – given to the NFL player that best demonstrates outstanding community service and excellence on the field. His charity, CRC Foundation, has been helping young people with critical life skills since 2009. Adding to that, he has also hosted many holiday shopping sprees, the JaxPAL Youth Football and STEM Camp and has spent countless hours speaking encouragement to children in area schools. The fact that the Jaguars let him go for a 2020 5th round pick says a lot about what the teams feels about their cap situation. A for play, D- for trade return.
A.J. Bouye: Bouye was signed in 2017 as a free agent from Houston. His final season on the Texans is what attracted the Jaguars the most, landing him a 5-year contract worth $67.5 million with $26 million guaranteed. In his time with the team, he accrued 8 interceptions, 34 passes defended, and allowed just a 64.4 completion percentage when thrown to since 2018. 2017 was by far his best season opposite Jalen Ramsey in which they formed one of the most feared duos that year. He saw significant drop off in the 2 years to follow, leading to the team wanting to move in a different direction. He was traded to the Denver Broncos for a 2020 4th round pick and saving over $11 million from his remaining contract. B for play, C+ for trade return.
Marcell Dareus: Dareus was traded from the Bills to the Jaguars mid-season 2017 for a 2018 6th round pick to help solidify the lone run-defense weakness in what was a near impeccable defense. Although his stats don’t show it, (2.5 sacks, 45 combined tackles, 4 TFL and 5 QB hits) when healthy, he was a stud in the run game. The Jaguars ultimately decided not to pick up his 2020-year option and he remains a free agent. A team struggling in the run game could pick him up for cheap and I’m not 100% sure why he hasn’t been signed by a team yet. Dave Caldwell has said he is open to bringing him back on a separate deal, but hasn't acted on it yet. C

Players Signed

Player Position Old Team Length Salary
Tyler Eifert TE Bengals 2 years $9,500,000
Joe Schobert ILB Browns 5 years $53,750,000
Chris Thompson RB The Washington Football Team 1 year $1,400,000
Al Woods DT Seahawks 1 year $2,500,000
Rashaan Melvin CB Lions 1 year $1,750,000
Mike Glennon QB Raiders 1 year $1,187,500
Rodney Gunter DE Cardinals 3 years $18,000,000
Aaron Lynch OLB Bears 1 year $1,100,000
Cassius Marsh DE Cardinals 1 year $1,047,500
Lerentee McCray OLB Jaguars 1 year $1,047,500
Tyler Shatley C Jaguars 1 year $1,512,500
Keelan Cole WR Jaguars 1 year $3,259,000
Brian Price DT Jaguars 2 year $1,815,000
Yannick Ngakoue DE Jaguars 1 year TAG $17,788,000
Source: Spotrac.com
 
Notes
Tyler Eifert: Going into the offseason, the biggest hole in an already lackluster offense was the Tight End position. The Jaguars drafted Josh Oliver in the 3rd round of the 2019 draft to help with that, but he went down with a hamstring injury in the preseason and a back injury during the regular season which limited him to 3 games. James O’Shaughnessy was one of Minshew’s favorite targets but went down with an ACL injury early on as well. Tyler Eifert comes in already familiar with Jay Gruden’s offense. The Jaguars are taking a risk in signing Eifert if they expect him to play even close to his 2015 production (52 catches for 615 yards and 13 touchdowns). However, if he stays healthy and can play even half as good, that’s a massive upgrade over what our Tight End group has produced over the past 5+ years. A 2-year contract worth $9.5 million filled with incentives should give Eifert the motivation to stay healthy and contribute immediately. But if he doesn’t produce as expected, the team should be able to release him with little cap hit. C+
Joe Schobert: Schobert from the Cleveland Browns could be considered the teams’ “marquee” free agent, signing a 5-year, $53.75 million contract with $21.5 million guaranteed. He comes into a linebacker corps that hasn’t had a true MLB since Posluszny retired. This addition allows Myles Jack to move to weak side and gives the opportunity for competition at strong side. Schobert gives the Jaguars a leadership type figure in an already incredibly young defense. Since Telvin Smith retired and decided to be stupid (more on that later on) and Poz choosing to hang up the cleats as well, there hasn’t been someone that could command the defense; Jack tried previously but had probably his worst year to date. Schobert solidifying the middle also gives Jack the opportunity to use his athleticism on the outside. Schobert is top 10 in pass coverage, but still needs to improve in the run game (which is something the team has struggled in for years). I feel like this is a boom-or-bust signing, but am cautiously optimistic. B+
Chris Thompson: Leonard Fournette is still this team’s workhorse back. Rumors started spreading that he would be traded prior to the draft, which ultimately fell flat. Just because the Jags are going to rely on Fournette even more, doesn’t mean that Minshew doesn’t need as many weapons as possible. This is another signing that works well with Gruden’s offense since he had played for him in Washington. This also gives Minshew another weapon out of the backfield. On the other hand, this is another signing that is based solely on whether he can stay healthy or not. A one year, prove-it deal worth $1.4 million is smart on the teams end because when healthy, Thompson can still have the capability to make plays. B
Rodney Gunter: A Calais Campbell clone? Probably not, but a man can dream right? The DE from Arizona signed a 3-year deal worth $18 million to pretty much help rotate through his old position, though. He hasn’t really shown much as a pass rusher (11 sacks in 5 years) but will probably be a rotational piece mostly used in run downs. C
Rashaan Melvin: With the departure of Bouye, the team looked thin at the position prior to the draft. The Jags also hit a homerun with their previous CB signing from Detroit, DJ Hayden. Melvin comes in on another one-year deal to compete with last years UDFA surprise, Tre Herndon for the CB2 spot opposite CJ Henderson. In his 4 years with Detroit, Oakland and Indianapolis, he posted 4 INT and 41 Passes Defended and 2 FF. This puts some competition in camp (if there is one) with experience vs. potential. B-
Al Woods: Caldwell goes in again on defense and signs the large run-stuffer from Seattle on a 1-year, $2.5 million deal. The loss of Marcel Dareus put a large hole in the already weak run defense and Woods helps plug it back in with a decent resume stuffing the middle. This gives the Jags a nice rotation between him, Abry Jones and Davon Hamilton. B EDIT: As of posting this, Al Woods has opted out of the 2020 season.

Draft

After trading away Jalen Ramsey, Calais Campbell, AJ Bouye and Nick Foles, the Jaguars ended up with a total of 12 draft picks (most in franchise history).
 
Round Number Player Position School
1 9 (9) CJ Henderson CB Florida
1 20 (20) from Rams K’Lavon Chaisson DE/LB LSU
2 10 (42) Laviska Shenault Jr. WR Colorado
3 9 (73) DaVon Hamilton DT Ohio State
4 10 (116) Ben Bartch OL St. Johns (Minn.)
4 31 (137) from Broncos Josiah Scott CB Michigan State
4 34 (140) from Bears Shaquille Quarterman LB Miami
5 12 (157) from Ravens Daniel Thomas S Auburn
5 20 (165) from Rams (Fowler trade) Collin Johnson WR Texas
6 10 (189) Jake Luton QB Oregon State
6 27 (206) Tyler Davis TE Georgia Tech
7 9 (223) Chris Claybrooks CB/Return Specialist Memphis
 

Analysis

C.J. Henderson: There was a lot of speculation as to who Caldwell was going to draft with the first of 2 first round picks. Was it going to be an OL? WR? QB?(for some reason). Dave ultimately went with the heir to the Ramsey throne. Gone are the days of back injuries and in are the days of another Florida school product. This man is 6-foot 204lb and is extremely good in coverage, which is something that the team needs in replacement of Ramsey. One glaring weakness in his game is his tackling, which seems like there is some hesitation and looks to often miss open field tackles. He immediately fills the CB1 role that was previously held by surprise UDFA Tre Herndon. B
K’Lavon Chaisson: Alright, I’ll address the elephant on the team now. Yannick Ngakoue is not playing another down for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I was a believer that they could strike a long-term deal and keep the talented pass rusher but NOOOOO, he just had to beef with the owner’s son and ruin any chance, but I digress. The first of the Rams 1st round picks from the Jalen Ramsey trade yields the replacement for the other man who really wants out. The LSU product brings an incredible motor and raw talent. He has all the physical tools you could need in a DE/LB at 6’3” and 254lbs but has a high ceiling if he works on his technique. A line edged by Josh Allen and K’Lavon Chaisson sounds relentless to me. A-
Laviska Shenault Jr.: There was plenty of WR talent deep in this draft class and I feel like the Jags found a secret weapon in the Colorado prospect. Despite dealing with numerous injuries and not the best quarterback play, he was still able to produce over 2000 scrimmage yards through his SO and JR seasons. If he can stay healthy, he’ll be able to line up all over the field. Gruden will be able to set him up at WR, RB and even Wildcat QB if he’s feeling frisky. At 6-2 220LB, Minshew has versatile target that has the chance to produce really well if he can stay healthy. B+
DaVon Hamilton: The 6-4, 320lb DT was a wall in the center of the Buckeye line. He amassed 6 sacks, 28 tackles (9.5 for a loss) with 1 forced fumble in his redshirt senior season. Hamilton was drafted to help shore up the middle once held up by Dareus, but also now partially manned by Al Woods. His specialty is in the run game, which is something the Jags desperately need. B
Ben Bartch: The Smoothie King comes to Duval. Everyone knows the story of Bartch’s insane smoothie recipe that helped him gain 86lbs. Coming out of DIII St. John’s in Minnesota, he dominated competition enough to earn him a spot at the Senior Bowl. Even though he doesn’t have much experience against NFL caliber competition, Bartch has the tools necessary to grow in the league and become a serviceable backup or eventually challenge current starting RG, AJ Cann. B-
Josiah Scott: On the smaller end of the spectrum (5’9”, 185lbs), Scott has had to overcome his size with speed and knowledge. He’s too small to be anything more than a slot corner; but he can be great depth behind DJ Hayden and helpful in the run game. The Jags lost a lot in the CB department, so I understand the depth pick. C+
Shaquille Quarterman: Quarterman was a 4-year starter and a captain while at Miami. Caldwell really wanted to shore up the run defense this offense and this pick doesn’t stray away from that narrative. He may not be the best in the pass game since he has limited speed, but on running downs he could be very helpful and a leader in the locker room. B
Daniel Thomas: I’m actually a fan of this pick solely for depth purposes. The best backup safety on the team is Andrew Wingard, so any help at the position is good. In his time at Auburn, he notched 5 interceptions, 199 total tackles and forced 3 fumbles. B
Collin Johnson: I feel like Johnson will be an asset in the red zone. His large stature at 6’6”, 220lbs+ will be great for jump-balls. The Jags receiving corp. has almost every kind of receiver you would need except for a big bodied guy to get up after 50/50 balls. While I’m not happy it took Dave this long to get more help for Minshew besides Shenault, this isn’t the worst consolation prize. C+
Jake Luton: Caldwell has had a history of selecting a QB in the 6th round. So, I’m not surprised by this pick. But the question is: will he be another Minshew, or a Tanner Lee? The Oregon State Beaver threw for 42 touchdowns to 11 interception in 3 years there. My money is on him being a camp body or not making the roster at all. D
Tyler Davis: Davis started his career at UConn as a Quarterback but switched to WR as a sophomore and ended up a TE before transferring to Georgia Tech as a TE. His receiving stats leave a lot to be desired but has some strength in run-blocking. In an already crowded position group, he’ll have to really show off to make the final roster. D+
Chris Claybrooks: Caldwell and Marrone both agreed that Claybrooks was drafted for returning purposes. Supposedly running a 4.25s 40 in a video sent to every NFL team, he has the speed to make a difference on special teams. In his time returning kicks at Memphis, he returned 11 for 338 yards for an average of 30.7 – a much higher average than the 24.2 yds/rt the Jaguars did in 2019. B+
 

UDFA

Luq Barcoo, CB, San Diego State; Doug Costin, DT, Miami (OH); Nathan Cottrell, RB, Georgia Tech; Ben Ellefson, TE, North Dakota State; Nate Evans, LB, Central Florida; Tavien Feaster, RB, South Carolina; Josh Hammond, WR, Florida; Amari Henderson, CB, Wake Forest; Ross Matiscik, LS, Baylor; Steven Nielson, OL, Ohio; J.R. Reed, S, Georgia; James Robinson, RB, Illinois State; Marvelle Ross, WR, Notre Dame College; Connor Slomka, FB, Army; Tre’Vour Wallace-Simms, OL, Missouri; Kobe Williams, CB, Arizona State; Brandon Wright, K, Georgia State.

Other Offseason News that Affected the Team

 
Oh my word…..there was so much that happened. I wish I had enough time to go into full detail on everything, but new job has my time extremely limited. I’ll unfortunately have to stick with short synopses on these.
 
Tom Coughlin Fired
The Tom Coughlin era 2.0 is finally over. The Jaguars have had enough of his dictatorship and days after the NFLPA sent a warning letter to players to stay away, they relieved him of his duties. A few of the grievances included:
  • Fining Dante Fowler Jr. $700k for not rehabbing in Jacksonville
  • Nearly forcing Jalen Ramsey and Telvin Smith to participate in voluntary workouts
  • Fining Fournette for sitting while inactive during the 2018 finale
But wait! There’s more! Not only did he have a number of grievances filed against him, he:
  • Gave Blake Bortles a deal averaging $18m a year, only to be released
  • Signed Nick Foles to a deal worth $88m, and wouldn’t let it go when it was proven he wasn’t the guy
  • Other general day-to-day nuances that make him an overall unlikable person
 
Now that he’s gone, the clocks have gone back to normal time and hopefully the morale of the team improves greatly. This is also a final chance for Doug Marrone and Dave Caldwell to show that a major factor in the teams lack of recent success can be directly attributed to the Tom Coughlin culture.
 
Telvin Smith arrested
Oooooh boy……what to say about this one. Former 5th round pick out of Florida State turned top MLB in the NFL arrested and charged with unlawful sexual activity with a minor. He retired in 2019 stating that he needed to focus on his family and health. Smith first met the girl in the summer of 2019, recently after she turned 17; and in their 2-month time together, they had sex multiple times in Smith’s car and home. Adding onto that, Smith offered the underage girl $200 to keep quiet, $100 of which she ultimately took. He was released on $50,003 bond. DON’T.FUCK.KIDS.OR.TEENS.PEOPLE.
 
Yannick Ngakoue
I don’t really know where to start this since so much has happened. Yannick Ngakoue is trying to pull a Jalen Ramsey and tweet himself out of Duval County. Ngakoue has been (and still is) very open about his displeasure towards the organization. Since late 2019, he has tweeted numerous times about wanting to be traded, even calling out Tony Khan (son of owner Shahid Khan) on the site. The team franchise tagged him and tried shopping around. Their asking price was a MINIMUM of a first round pick, but the Twitter tirade ruined basically any chance of that return. There was an offer that included a Pro Bowl player recently, which was declined since the player “didn’t fit their system”. People are split between whether he plays if he doesn’t get traded or sitting out the season, which I guess we’ll see once (if) the season commences.
 
No 5th year option for Fournette
Just like Ngakoue, the former 4th overall picks’ relationship with the front office has not been the most ideal. He was one of the many players that filed a grievance against the team for the fine for sitting on the bench in 2018 while inactive, which he got back. The Jaguars decided not to pick up his 5th year option, which would’ve netted Fournette $8.43 million. This means that, unless an extension is made, he will be an unrestricted free agent in 2021. The team will most likely not extend him beyond this season since they were even trying to get rid of him this offseason. They had discussions with teams about moving him, but no deal was done. Caldwell ultimately decided that Fournette will stick around and be the RB1 for the 2020 season but has not made any mention of beyond that. This is a contract year for him, and he wants to prove that he was worth the 4th overall selection.
 
COVID-19
As most of you may know, the Jacksonville Jaguars have another name: The London Jaguars
But in all seriousness, it’s been seeming to the general public that the team will move to London; especially after this year when Khan moved a second home game to Wembley Stadium. The reasoning behind the move is to increase local revenue. The front office believed that the reasoning behind the low revenue was the local market, not the product on the field. No one, not a single fan took this piece of news positively. It seemed like it was doomed from the start, something that could only be slowed down by say a…..pandemic? (un)Luckily so, one such pandemic happened. Creating an international travel restriction and preventing any NFL teams from playing in London. When the season does start, the home games, which would’ve been vs. the Lions and Browns in non-consecutive weeks, will actually be played at home. In other COVID news, former Jaguar great Tony Boselli contracted the Coronavirus and was admitted to the ICU for five days. Things got so bad that he was hooked up to two IVs and needed oxygen to help his breathing. Luckily, he was able to recover mostly and was released on March 30.

Projected Starting Lineup with Camp Battles

Positions won in a camp battle italicized
QB- Gardner Minshew: This is Gardner Minshew’s team in 2020. After a promising rookie season, added weapons and a more workable scheme, Minshew should solidify himself as the quarterback of the future - given he slows down on the turnovers.
RB- Leonard Fournette: In a contract year after his 5th year option was declined, he will be running with a chip on his shoulder. The team looks to run him as much as possible before he leaves.
TE- Tyler Eifert, James O’Shaughnessy: Free agent signing Eifert will fill the starting role as long as he is healthy. I think O’Shaughnessy beats out Josh Oliver for the TE2 spot due to last years chemistry with Minshew.
WR- D.J. Chark Jr., Dede Westbrook, Chris Conley, Laviska Shenault Jr.: This group is easily the strength of this offense. Chark looks to build on a really nice 2019 season, Westbrook and Conley weren’t bad as WR2 and 3, but they weren’t spectacular either. I added Shenault as well because he will be put in at a bunch of different positions.
LT- Cam Robinson: Robinson battled through an ACL injury in 2018 which basically sent his development back over a year. He’s been inconsistent in his time playing, playing well during some games but slacking big time in others.
LG- Andrew Norwell: The coaching staff is still sticking by the second highest paid guard in the NFL, even though he hasn’t been playing like it at all. He missed time in 2018 with a foot injury and has been battling through that since. But ultimately needs to play even remotely like the former 1st team all-pro in order to provide some return on his contract. He has been arguably the worst lineman on an already weak line.
C- Brandon Linder: One of the more underrated lineman in the league. Linder has been a consistent leader on the offense since being drafted in the 3rd round in 2014.
RG- A.J. Cann: Cann is just one of those guys where you kinda forget about him until he has a terrible game and then you remember that he’s actually not good. I’m considering this one a battle because I feel like rookie Bartch can snag a start or two during the season.
RT- Jawaan Taylor: After dropping to the Jags in the second round of last years’ draft, Taylor has lived up to expectations. While having the typical rookie growing pains, he was extremely solid playing against pro-level talent.
DL- Josh Allen, Abry Jones, Taven Bryan/Rodney Gunter, K’Lavon Chaisson: A group that is primed to surprise people. The Good Josh Allen is already a forced to be reckoned with, Abry Jones is a solid piece with some rotational help, Taven Bryan is only getting better at the run while Gunter will help with the pass rush. Finally, 1st round pick K’Lavon Chaisson comes in with an incredible motor to help with the loss of Ngakoue.
LB- Myles Jack, Joe Schobert, Quincy Williams: Myles Jack is on his 3rd position, so hopefully this will unlock his full athletic potential. Schobert will command the defense up the middle and drop into coverage. Quincy did not play well last year as a rookie. I hope he is able to progress this season or we might be in trouble there.
CB- C.J. Henderson, Rashaan Melvin, D.J. Hayden: 9th overall pick Henderson gets the start at the CB1 position. Melvin and Tre Herndon are going to be battling for the CB2 spot, but I give the nod to Melvin solely because he has more experience. D.J. Hayden is another underrated player in the NFL and is quietly one of the top Nickel corners.
S- Ronnie Harrison, Jarrod Wilson: Ronnie Harrison has been really coming into his own over the past season and will only get better. Jarrod Wilson played fairly well in 2019 and was exercised his option during the offseason.
K- Josh Lambo: Lambo is one of the most consistent kickers in the NFL today. Hitting over 94% of his kicks since coming to Jacksonville (while also leading the NFL in 2019 with 97.1% FG made).
P- Logan Cooke: Cooke is top 10 in yards/punt and has no need to worry about losing his job.
KR- Chris Claybrooks: The 7th rounder from Memphis was drafted specifically to return kicks, hopefully he brings the spark that the team desperately needs on ST.
PR- Dede Westbrook: Westbrook was 14th in the NFL in punt returns, he hasn’t been great in the field, but he also hasn’t been terrible.

Schedule Predictions

Week 1: IND (L) – Philip Rivers has had our number over the years (7-2, 24 touchdowns to 5 interceptions); and a team that’s a QB shy from competing now has the Jaguars literal kryptonite. I have my faith in the young defense, but Rivers will probably have a field day. 0-1
Week 2: @TEN (W) – Huh, no annual TNF Titans-Jaguars trash bowl? 2020 is really a weird year and I don’t like it. Here’s hoping that at least one trend sort of-continues: a split in games. The Jags revamped run defense slows down Derrick Henry for a game and CJ Henderson gets his first career pick off of Tannehill. Minshew is going to be the deciding factor in this game. 1-1
Week 3: MIA (W) – If it’s Fitzpatrick, it’s a loss. But I believe Tua takes the job early in the season(maybe?) and has his typical rookie growing pains. One of which is losing to a bad team that you shouldn’t lose to. 2-1
Week 4: @CIN (W) – Just like Tua, Burrow is set to have his growing pains. But this isn’t one of those games. The first overall pick goes into a shootout with The Man, The Myth, The Legend but comes up short due to a questionable play call in the final seconds. 3-1
Week 5: @HOU (L) – Even though Houston no longer has DeAndre Hopkins, Deshaun Watson is still able to work through the Jags D to come up with the win. 3-2
Week 6: DET (L) – Matthew Stafford has a really good week and Jeff Okudah outmatches his top 10 counterpart in another close game that comes down to game management experience. 3-3
Week 7: BYE
Week 8: @LAC (W) – Even though Jacksonville isn’t typically good on the west coast, they’re facing a team manned either by Tyrod Taylor or Justin Herbert. If they’re facing the latter (I’m sticking with a first round rookie start), then they’ll pull off a win they shouldn’t have. 4-3
Week 9: HOU (L) - Just like week 5, Watson goes off again while Brandon Cooks has 150+ yards receiving. Minshew attempts a 4th quarter comeback and brings it close, but ultimately falls short. 4-4
Week 10: @GB (L) - Aaron Rodgers is obviously unhappy with the drafting of Jordan Love and is on a mission to prove that he’s still got it in the league. Even though the rest of the roster is lacking pieces, you can never count out Rodgers. Especially when it’s against lower competition. 4-5
Week 11: PIT (L) – I feel like this could be the start (or continuation) of a decent non-divisional/former divisional rivalry. Big Ben is back and has a good back in James Conner. Besides JuJu Smith-Schuster and Eric Ebron, there isn’t anyone that inflicts fear in secondaries. This game could go either way, but I’m giving the nod to Pittsburgh in a close match. Their defense has enough to slow down our offense, but our defense lacks the “star-power” against their offense to really make up for it. 4-6
Week 12: @CLE (L) – Chubb is good, Beckham is good, Landry is good, Hooper is good. Unfortunately I don’t see us being close in this one. 4-7
Week 13: @MIN (L) – Minnesota, at this point, is looking towards the postseason and will not hold back. Thielen and Cook will carry their offense to 3 touchdowns while the Jags offense falls flat this week. 4-8
Week 14: TEN (L) – The split game. Again….WHY NO TNF?! The Jaguars come into the game tired and eliminated, while the Tacks come into the contest nearing a berth and are hungry for a win. Derrick Henry is Derrick Henry and just runs train. 4-9
Week 15: @BAL (L) - I may be biased but I’m not delusional. 4-10
Week 16: CHI (W) – I’m basing this off my prediction that Foles will outplay Trubisky and stays healthy. Foles plays better than Trubisky, but that’s not saying much. Henderson is able to keep Allen Robinson at bay; and while Khalil Mack will be effective, his impact will be kept to a best-case scenario. 5-10
Week 17: IND (W) – Indianapolis already clinched a playoff spot and is resting their starters for their inevitable 1st round elimination. So, the Jags will win in semi-convincing fashion against a team starting backups. 6-10
Final Record: 6-10. I genuinely believe this team has improved overall despite the major losses throughout the defense. There are going to be a lot of close games, especially if more players opt-out of the season. I feel like many of these games could steer in either direction. Besides Baltimore, Minnesota, Houston and Green Bay, of course. The ceiling of this team could push .500, but the floor could really bottom out at 1 or 2 wins. This team is extremely young and still needs to mesh. Depending on next years draft picks (looking at you, Rams. Please suck, thanks), this team is poised for a huge jump in the near future. This isn’t a full rebuild, it’s a partial one. I do not see this team making the postseason this year, but they could definitely play party-pooper to a couple of teams.

Schemes

Jay Gruden – Gruden utilizes a West Coast Offensive scheme. This scheme was created by Bill Walsh in the 60’s when he worked for the Cincinnati Bengals as the QB coach. This offense relies heavily on shorter throws spread out throughout the field, eventually opening the top up for the occasional long ball. The use of a mobile QB and a variety of receivers can really help spread out the defense as well and easier for him to make throws.
Todd Wash – Although there have been rumors of a scheme change, and the signing of certain players seem to suggest the same, Todd Wash is still sticking a base 4-3 defense. One of the more common schemes, it involves four down linemen consisting of a nose tackle, a defensive tackle and two ends. Behind the linemen are 3 linebackers: The Mike, Will and Sam linebackers. The Mike, or middle, will line up behind the nose tackle and covers the A gap. The Will, or weak, lines up on the side not containing the TE and covers the B gap on that side. The Sam, or strong, lines up on the side of the Tight End and will contain the C gap on that side. The secondary will always have two CB’s, a SS and FS; the CB’s will cover the receivers, the FS will line up deep on the side of the weakside linebacker and the SS will do the same on the opposite side.
Link to Hub
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2020.07.27 17:30 pahohi1327JJul Christian and Single Da-ting S-ite

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2020.07.13 21:50 haaveksija Do you like motor oil and gasoline? Well, you've come to the right place...

In an effort to stem my ever-rising tide of anger and frustration, I'm doing a dive into my collection for some happy-making scents. And for me that means oil, gas, and smoke. I also love wood scents but we'll get to that at a later date. Plans have been made. *rubs hands together and smiles creepily*
Come with me, to the auto body shop of pure imagination...
Solstice Scents Sawmill - Fresh Cut Wood, Wood Resin, Balsam, Cured Woods, Pine, Black Coffee, Motor Oil, Amber, Saw Dust.
Right, so this is a bit of an outlier and technically I'd classify it as a woody scent but that motor oil. On first sniff this takes me right back to my childhood of helping my dad in his "wood shop" which was just our garage with motor oil-soaked gravel. It's almost dead on for triggering that particular set of memories except that the smoke in my memory is cigarette smoke - and I don't want to smell like that anyway. Unfortunately this one is just okay to me. While at first I can smell fresh cut wood, resin that's a good ringer for sap, and motor oil it ends with the resin and coffee coming to the forefront when it fades down. Then it reminds me of raisins. Raisin toast? Coffee? Breakfast.
Hexannacht Trashcan Man - Smoke, motor oil, low-octane gasoline.
Look, if you're at all interested in smelling like an auto body shop you need this scent. This is what it says it is. It's nicely balanced to my nose and no one thing stands out for me. There's maybe a teeny bit of sweetness to the smoke that comes out when it fades down.
Andomeda's Curse Cyberpunk - Synthetic Cashmere Leather Jacket, Holographic Redwoods, Neon Lights, Patchouli, Chai, and Black Musk Biofuel Exhaust from your Trans-Am as it burns into the smoggy sunset.
There's something so evocative about this scent description but I have to confess that I've never read Cyberpunk by William Gibson. My younger self went to Neal Stephenson and read Snow Crash. Decades later I still love that book and this is what I think of when I read the description. I have reviewed this before but on return it seems that the patchouli and chai have smoothed out quite a bit and I like even more now. It does seem like the cold note I thought it had for the neon lights is buried also but I'm fine with it. There's some scenes in Snow Crash where the main character is riding a motorcycle through the Pacific Northwest, wearing a bunch of synthetic leather and with a katana strapped to his back... and this is all I need.
Andromeda's Curse Coin-Operated Boy - Recently Greased Gears, A shot of Cognac, Black Musk, Ambergris.
Again, reviewed this before. Like with Cyberpunk, I feel this has mellowed a bit. The ambergris is prominent at first but it fades into the back really fast. This is like a warm, boozy hug with a side of motor oil. I still love this but I'm not sure if it still beats Cyberpunk anymore. It doesn't really matter because I've ordered full sizes of both.
Sixteen92 A Full-Blown Four Alarm Holiday Emergency - Fresh-cut pine boughs, new fallen snow, a roaring fire, singed wires, tangled lights, gasoline, flaming marshmallows, whatever Russ, whatever.
So I got that Trans Am out of the shop and I've done a handbrake turn from high speed right into Christmas. This one is so weird. It's like you're toasting a marshmallow in the parking lot of one of those places that pop up each year to sell fresh trees for Christmas, only you've used gas to start the fire and it's spread to the strings of lights... I don't even know. Whenever I wear this I keep applying more and sniffing like it's a puzzle I'm trying to solve. It's weird. I like it.
Sixteen92 Shadow Show - Kettle corn, spun sugar, apple, machine oil, rusty metal, dirt.
Speaking of weird and sweet and inexplicable things, there's this. Caramel candy apple, dirt, metal, and oil. Yup. That's it. That's the perfume.
I mean, this is a carnival/fair thing but I wanted to use that line. Every time I wear this I think of the iamamiwhoami song of the same name and it makes me happy.
Alkemia Deus ex Machina - An olfactory portrait of industrial decay and the fallen gods of age of disruption, innovation, and technological revolution... fire hardened steel, rusted iron, motor oil, wet cement, burnt copper wires, and grey amber.
Yes, hello - all of this? It's wonderful. So perhaps weirdly this reminds me of where I live - Pittsburgh, and winter. To me this says dormant steel mill against a cold, gray background. If you see a mill in action it's all fire-belching and hot and it smells like burning chemicals and this just feels like the opposite to me.
Thus ends my little journey into the territory of industrial-ish smelling things.
Favorites and full-sizing: Cyberpunk, Coin-operated Boy, Deus ex Machina.
Keeping my samples around to sniff occasionally but rarely wear: Sawmill, A Full-Blown Four Alarm Holiday Emergency, Shadow Show.
So, folks who like these types of scents - I know you're out there. I want to believe... What other other motor oil, gas, and metal type scents do you like?
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2020.07.06 17:54 sonofabutch The All-I Team!

Recently I put together an All-Q Team -- the 25 best of the 51 players in MLB history who have last names starting with Q. (And that followed my post as to which last name has the most players (M, 2,040) and which has the least (X, 0). Q has the second-fewest, with 51.)
The Q team's performance would be... shall we say... Questionable. Basically it's starting pitchers Jack Quinn and Jose Quintana, relievers Dan Quisenberry and Paul Quantrill, and one hitter -- slugger Carlos Quentin. Everyone else had career bWAR in the single digits, or negative.
The letter with the next fewest players is I, with 59. I thought it would be Interesting to look at the All-I Team. Would it be as Inadequate as the All-Q team, or would a pool of just eight more names be a big Improvement?
Of the 59 players, six are still active, according to baseball-reference.com; five played in MLB in 2019. (The active player who didn't appear in MLB last year was pitcher Gregory Infante, who had been signed by the Orioles but released before the season started; earlier this year they again invited him to spring training, but he's not on the 60-man roster.)
One odd thing I noticed is a fair number of these I-guys would become minor league managers, just as it seemed a disproportionate number of Q'ers died relatively young. I guess baseball teams think if your last name starts with I, you must be Intelligent enough to be a manager!
Batters: The I's have much more Impressive hitters than the Q's. The leading hitter on the Q-team is OF Carlos Quentin, with 10.5 bWAR; he'd rank 11th on the I-team! The Q-team's starting nine had just 27.1 career bWAR; the I-team's lineup has 152.3!
C Chris Iannetta - 15.0 bWAR, .230/.345/.406 (98 OPS+), 3,563 AB (2006-2019). "Sponge" consistently posts an OBP a hundred points higher than his batting average -- even in 2010, when he hit .197 but still got on base nearly 32% of the time. Casual fans look at a walk as something negative the pitcher did, not something positive the batter did -- a mistake by the pitcher rather than an accomplishment by the batter. But it's absolutely a skill and Iannetta proves it every year. Pitchers don't want to walk a guy with a career .230 BA, yet he gets walks.
1B Frank Isbell - 14.6 bWAR, .250/.289/.326 (89 OPS+), 4,219 AB (1898-1909). Nicknames in the Deadball Era were notoriously cruel. Hazen Cuyler was a stutterer who had trouble with his own last name; he's immortalized as Kiki Cuyler, mocking the way he pronounced it. William Hoy, who was deaf, was known as "Dummy." Charles Briody's round face and growing waistline earned him the nickname "Fatty." As for Frank, who was sensitive about losing his hair early in his 20s, his teammates dubbed him "The Bald Eagle." Frank's career slash-line of .250/.289/.326 isn't impressive, but he did have a tremendous year for the 1905 Chicago White Sox (.296/.335/.440, a 149 OPS+). Isbell played most of his games at first base, but he played all over the field -- literally, as he's one of the few men in MLB history to have multiple games at every position. He even pitched in 17 games, posting a 3.46 ERA in 88.1 innings!
2B Omar Infante - 16.9 bWAR, .271/.308/.387 (87 OPS+), 5,271 AB (2002-2016). Omar is the first of many players born in Venezuela; are last names starting with I more common there? Infante was primarily a utility man for the first half of his career, playing second, third, short, and all three outfield positions; it wasn't until 2010, at the age of 28, the Braves gave him 500+ plate appearances for just the second time in his career. He responded with his best season, hitting .321/.359/.416 and making his one and only All-Star appearance. He would spend the rest of his career as a starting second baseman. A tragic note: Omar's older brother, Asdrubal Infante, was a promising pitching prospect with the Tigers -- he posted a 1.09 ERA with 51 K in 33 IP in rookie ball in 1999 -- but was murdered that same year in a robbery in Venezuela. He was just 17 years old.
3B Brandon Inge - 19.2 bWAR, .233/.301/.384 (82 OPS+), 5,014 AB (2001-2013). Inge was a shortstop and pitcher at Virginia Commonwealth University, but the Tigers drafted him in the 2nd round in 1998 with the intention of converting him to a catcher. After three seasons in the bigs, he was moved to third base, where both his offense and his defense greatly improved. (Inge would hit .199/.260/.330 in 1,271 PA as a catcher, and .243/.315/.402 in 4,102 PA as a third baseman!) In 2008, Inge went on the disabled list when he strained a muscle trying to position a pillow under the head of his sleeping son.
SS Arthur Irwin - 15.2 bWAR, .241/.299/.305 (81 OPS+), 3,871 AB (1880-1894). The Q-Team had a lot of Quinns -- 13 of the 51 Q's in MLB history, or 25%, have the last name Quinn. For the I's, it's Irwin. Eight of the 59 I's are Irwins, or 13.5%. The first in both alphabetical order and by most bWAR is Arthur Irwin, a 19th century infielder who was later a manager, umpire, scout, and part-owner of a minor league team. At the age of 63, Irwin -- who during his playing days was known by the nicknames Doc, Foxy, and Sandy -- took ill and was hospitalized. His son came to visit him... and was surprised to discover another son visiting him as well. It turned out Irwin had married two women and had two families, one in New York and another in Boston. Soon after, Irwin boarded a ship and was never seen again. It was ruled a suicide, but who knows... maybe he settled down with a third family!
LF Raúl Ibañez - 20.9 bWAR, .272/.335/.465 (111 OPS+), 7,471 AB (1996-2014). Ibañez, the son of Cuban refugees, hit .272/.347/.572 and set career highs in OPS and HR (34) in his lone All-Star season... at the age of 37! Over his 19-year career, Ibañez had an OPS+ over 100 twelve times. His career bWAR was dinged by his defense -- 28.7 oWAR, but -17.3 dWAR. CF Ender Inciarte - 18.9 bWAR, .286/.338/.398 (95 OPS+), 2,922 AB (2014-2019). A 2017 All-Star and three-time Gold Glove award winner, Inciarte was signed out of Venezuela as a 18-year-old amateur by the Diamondbacks in 2008, but he would spend the next six years in the minors; the Phillies claimed him via the Rule V draft prior to the 2013 season, but had to return him after just one game (in which he didn't play) when they claimed Ezequiel Carrera off waivers. The D'Backs finally gave Inciarte a chance in 2014, and he would hit .292 for them over the next two seasons. Arizona then traded him to the Braves (with former #1 overall pick Dansby Swanson and Aaron Blair) for Shelby Miller and Gabe Speier, one of the moves that doomed Arizona GM Dave Stewart.
RF Monte Irvin - 21.3 bWAR, .293/.383/.475 (125 OPS+), 2,499 AB (1949-1956). "Mr. Murder" was a Negro Leagues star whose career was cut short by segregation and military service. Most believed he was the best player in the Negro Leagues, but it was Jackie Robinson, not Irvin, who first crossed the color line. Irvin was 30 years old when he finally got the chance, two years after Jackie, to play in the bigs. His best year was 1951, when he hit .312/.415/.514 with 24 HR and 121 RBI, finishing third in the MVP race. "As great as he was in 1951," said Roy Campanella, who won the MVP that year, "he was twice that good 10 years earlier." Irvin was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1973.
DH Pete Incaviglia - 10.3 bWAR, .246/.310/.448 (104 OPS+), 4,233 AB (1986-1998). "Inky" was one of the best college players of his generation, setting an NCAA record with 100 home runs in 213 games at Oklahoma State. He told teams interested in drafting him that he wouldn't sign unless they allowed him to skip the minors; the Expos took him 8th overall but immediately traded him to the Rangers. (MLB later adopted a rule prohibiting trades of newly drafted players, informally dubbed "The Pete Incaviglia Rule.") Incaviglia would then hit 30 home runs as a 22-year-old rookie... which would turn out to be his single-season career high. A low-average, high-strikeout player, Incaviglia played for six teams in 12 seasons -- not counting the Expos or the Diamondbacks, who signed him to a minor league deal in his final season -- plus one season in Japan. He would later be a hitting coach and manager in the minors.
Bench: There were an extraordinary amount of Infielders whose last names start with I; some good ones couldn't make the cut. The five guys on the bench total 45.3 bWAR... Q's bench was -1.5.
UT Maicer Izturis - 11.3 bWAR, .269/.331/.372 (90 OPS+), 3,013 AB (2004-2014). "Mighty Mouse" nearly evenly split his career between third base (2,552 innings) and second base (2,456 innings), but he also played nearly 1,700 innings at shorstop. Though his career OPS+ was below average, he did have some good offensive years -- .293/.365/.412 in 2006 and .300/.359/.434 in 2009. A series of injuries ended the Venezuelan's career after the 2014 season.
SS José Iglesias - 11.1 bWAR, .273/.315/.371 (84 OPS+), 2,706 AB (2011-2019). The 18-year-old Iglesias defected from Cuba during the 2008 World Junior Championship and signed with the Red Sox, immediately becoming one of the team's top prospects. He bounced up and down between Boston and the minors in 2011 and 2012, but in 2013 he won the starting job and after a tremendous start (.330/.376/.409 in 63 games) was included in a three-team deal for Jake Peavy. He would spend five seasons with the Tigers, hitting .268/.312/.364; last year he signed with the Reds and hit .288/.318/.407. Now 30, this off-season he signed a one-year deal with the Orioles.
3B Charlie Irwin - 9.2 bWAR, .268/.331/.345 (82 OPS+), 3,685 AB (1893-1902). Primarily known for his glove -- he ranked 1st or 2nd in 3B fielding percentage in five of his 10 seasons -- Irwin hit a respectable .273/.346/.317 (105 OPS+) with the Brooklyn Superbas in 1902, his final season in the bigs, then would go on to play several more seasons in the Pacific Coast League, and like so many others on this team would later be a manager.
1B/3B/OF Mike Ivie - 7.3 bWAR, .269/.324/.421 (110 OPS+), 2,694 AB (1971-1983). The first overall pick of the 1970 draft by the San Diego Padres, Ivie made his debut as a September call-up at the tender age of 18, going 8-for-17 with 3 RBIs in six games as a catcher. He'd return to the bigs in 1974, now a first baseman; they'd later try him at third and in the outfield, too. (His best position was probably DH.) A right-handed hitter good at mashing lefties (.693 OPS vsR, .846 OPS vsL), Ivie would top 400 ABs just three times in 11 seasons. He retired at the age of 30.
2B Tadahito Iguchi - 6.4 bWAR, .268/.338/.401 (93 OPS+), 1,841 AB (2005-2008). A star player in Japan, Iguchi came to MLB as a 30-year-old in 2005, signing with the White Sox. He would hit .278/.342/.438 and finish fourth in the ROY voting, and became the first Japanese-born position player to win a World Series. He returned to Japan in 2009 and would finally retire in 2017 at the age of 42. Iguchi has four rings -- one with the White Sox and three from Japan -- and since 2018 has been manager of the Chiba Lotte Marines.
Starting Pitchers: So it's going to be great hitting vs great pitching. The I-team has the bats, but the Q-team has the arms: The I's best pitcher would be #3 on the Q's, and after that... it's not pretty. The I-team has just 21.4 bWAR from its rotation, compared to 77.9 for the Q-team.
SP Hisashi Iwakuma - 16.9 bWAR, 63-39, 3.42 ERA, 1.143 WHIP, 883.2 IP (2012-2017). One advantage the I-team has over the Q-team is Japanese players, who represent three-fifths of the starting rotation. The ace is Kuma, who went 107-69 with a 3.25 ERA in Japan and then came to the United States where he had six pretty good seasons, all with the Mariners and all after his 30th birthday. His best year was 2013, when he was an All-Star and finished third in the Cy Young Award voting, going 14-6 with a 2.66 ERA and 1.006 WHIP.
SP Hideki Irabu - 3.4 bWAR, 34-35, 5.15 ERA, 1.405 WHIP, 514.0 IP (1997-2002). Irabu was a star in Japan with the Chiba Lotte Marines who wanted to pitch in MLB... specifically with the Yankees. Under an existing arrangement with the Padres, Chiba sold Irabu's rights to San Diego in 1997 and then traded him to New York for Ruben Rivera, Rafael Medina, and $3 million in cash. The first season of Irabu's four-year, $12.8 million deal was a disaster (5-4, 7.09 ERA, 1.669 WHIP), but he wasn't bad in 1998-1999 (24-16, 4.44 ERA, 1.315 WHIP). But Boss Steinbrenner didn't like him and he was traded to the Expos, where he went a disappointing 2-7 with a 6.69 ERA in two seasons. In 2002 he was used as a reliever with the Rangers, going 3-8 with 16 saves. He would then return to Japan, pitching two seasons before retiring in 2005. He briefly came out of retirement in 2009 to pitch in independent leagues in both the United States and Japan. In 2011, Irabu apparently hanged himself in his California home. He was just 42.
SP Mike Ignasiak - 0.9 BWAR, 10-4, 4.80 EARA, 1.504 WHIP, 137.0 IP (1991-1995). A teammate of Barry Larkin, Jim Abbott, and Scott Kamieniecki at the University of Michigan, Ignasiak went 47-25 with a 3.23 ERA in eight minor league seasons -- including a 55.2 scoreless inning streak between 1993 and 1994 -- then went 10-4 with a 4.80 ERA over four seasons with the Brewers. In 1996, he signed with the Red Sox but suffered a back injury that ended his career. He took up golf in his mid-30s and became one of the top amateur players in the country.
SP Bert Inks - 0.5 bWAR, 27-46, 5.52 ERA, 1.733 WHIP in 603.2 IP (1891-1896). A 6'3" lefty, Inks and his brother Will both played for Notre Dame. Will and a third brother, Fred, also played a little pro ball but only Bert made it to the bigs. He pitched for six teams in just five seasons, most of them bad.
SP Kazuhisa Ishii - -0.3 bWAR, 39-34, 4.44 ERA, 1.528 WHIP, 564.0 IP (2002-2005). Walks were Kaz's downfall, with 5.6 BB/9 over his four-year MLB career. After leaving the bigs, the lefty returned to Japan where he'd pitch until the age of 40 for a total of 18 seasons. In Japan, Ishii went 143-103 with a 3.63 ERA and 1.307 WHIP (and 3.9 BB/9, 8.8 K/9).
Relief Pitchers: Once again, the Q-team comes out on top. Team Q had 54.4 bWAR from its relievers; the I-team, less than half that at 25.3 (and most of that coming from their closer).
RP Jason Isringhausen - 13.0 bWAR, 51-55, 300 SV, 3.64 ERA, 1.328 WHIP, 1007.2 IP (1995-2012). One of the first players I think of when it comes to I-names, Izzy finished fourth in the NL ROY voting after an impressive debut season (9-2, 2.81 ERA, 1.280 WHIP) with the New York Mets at the age of 22. But injuries, ineffectiveness, and a bout with tuberculosis caused his Mets career to fizzle, and in 1999 he was traded to the Oakland A's where he would become a top closer. He was named to two All-Star teams and recorded 11 post-season saves.
RP Raisel Iglesias - 8.3 bWAR, 14-29, 98 SV, 3.17 ERA, 1.135 WHIP, 388.2 IP (2015-2019). Raisel Iglesias apparently isn't related to Jose Iglesias, but were born in, and fled from, Cuba. Raisel signed with the Reds, who converted him to a starter (he had been a reliever with the Cuban national team), but after going 4-8 with a 3.88 ERA in 21 starts, they switched him back to a reliever. In 231 relief appearances, he's posted a 2.85 ERA with 98 saves; overall, he's struck out 448 batters in 388.2 IP.
RP Jeff Innis - 4.6 bWAR, 10-20, 5 SV, 3.05 ERA, 1.272 WHIP, 360.0 IP (1987-1993). Jeff pitched all seven seasons of his MLB career with the New York Mets. A side-arming sinkerballer, "the I-Man" was known for his impressions of players and staff, including GM Frank Cashen. Maybe that's why the Mets declined to offer Innis a contract after the 1993 season. He signed with the Twins, and that spring training had the distinction of giving up the first professional base hit to a 31-year-old rookie named Michael Jordan. Jeff would stick around in the minors for a few more seasons, even working on a knuckleball, but never made it back to the bigs.
RP Gregory Infante - 1.0 bWAR, 3-2, 0 SV, 3.56 ERA, 1.332 WHIP, 68.1 IP (2010-2018). Infante was a baby -- ha, ha -- when he came up the first time in 2010, as a 22-year-old reliever with the White Sox. He pitched in five games without allowing a run and struck out five batters, though he did give up two hits and four walks in 4.2 innings. He would then spend the next eight seasons bouncing between organizations in the minors before finally returning to the bigs in 2017 with... the White Sox. So in nine years, he's pitched in 67 games, all with Chicago. Infante, now 30, signed with the Orioles last year but was released before the season started; the Venezuelan spent this off-season pitching in the Venezuelan Winter League.
RP Cole Irvin - -0.2 bWAR, 2-1, 1 SV, 5.83 ERA, 1.392 WHIP, 41.2 IP (2019). A 5th round pick by the Phillies in the 2016 draft, Swirvin Irvin went 6-1 with a 3.94 ERA in 16 starts and one relief appearance in Triple-A, then was promoted to the bigs where he had three starts and 13 relief appearances. The lefty was named the 2018 International League Pitcher of the Year after going 14-4 with a 2.57 ERA for the Lehigh Valley IronPigs.
RP Ryota Igarashi - -1.4 bWAR, 5-2, 0 SV, 6.41 ERA, 1.808 WHIP, 73.0 IP (2010-2012). Once renowned as one of the hardest throwers in Japan -- he struck out 97 batters in 78 innings in 2002 -- the New York Mets signed the 31-year-old reliever in 2010 but he struggled, giving up 24 runs, 29 hits, and 18 walks in 30.1 IP (but he did strike out 25 batters). The following year he gave up 20 runs on 43 hits and 28 walks in 38.2 IP (with 42 Ks), and the Mets released him. He signed with the Pirates, but was traded to the Blue Jays; they released him after two disastrous outings and the Yankees signed him, and they gave up on him after two more ugly appearances. Igarashi returned to Japan, where he's still pitching at age 41!
The I's who were... Ignored:
Here are the remaining 34 players whose last name starts with I. Some were fairly Impressive, others were Inferior.
Reliever Edgar Ibarra pitched in two games with the Angels in 2015, giving up one run on four hits and three walks while striking out three in four innings. The lefty has spent the last few seasons pitching winter ball in his native Venezuela.
Ham Iburg's real name was Herman; I don't know why they called him Ham. A San Francisco native who started and ended his career in the Pacific Coast League, Iburg had just one season in the bigs, going 11-18 with the 1902 Philadelphia Phillies; he was under contract to return in 1903, but he went back to California instead. The Pacific Coast League of that era offered better weather, easier travel, and sometimes better salaries than MLB, and many players like Iburg simply preferred playing on the west coast than in the Show.
Kei Igawa was a fading Japanese ace -- he even was briefly sent to the minors in 2005, and had become unpopular with fans -- but the Yankees needed an answer to the Red Sox signing Daisuke Matsuzaka two weeks earlier. After going 2-1 (with a 7.63 ERA) in his first six games, Igawa was sent to the minors; he'd return in June, get sent down again, and then be back in September. He'd end the year 2-3 with a 6.25 ERA. He would get bombed in two more appearances the following year, giving up six runs on 13 hits in just 4 innings, and would never resurface in MLB, despite posting adequate numbers in Triple-A (33-22, 3.81 ERA, 1.297 WHIP). After his release in 2011, Igawa returned to Japan, where he would pitch several more seasons with the Orix Buffaloes.
Gary Ignasiak is the big brother -- by 18 years! -- of pitcher Mike Ignasiak. Gary got into three games with the Tigers in 1973, striking out 4 batters in 4.2 innings but also giving up five hits and three walks. They sent him back to the minors but he never mastered his control, walking 647 batters in 825.0 minor league innings, and was out of pro baseball by the age of 25.
Reliever Blaise Ilsley made 10 appearances with the Cubs in 1994, giving up 13 runs on 25 hits and nine walks in 15.0 innings. Not surprisingly, the Cubs didn't bring him back. But he did have a long minor league career, and was later a pitching coach in the minors and a bullpen coach with the St. Louis Cardinals.
Doc Imlay had nine appearances for the Philadelphia Phillies in 1913, giving up 13 runs on 19 hits and seven walks in 13.2 innings. Imlay would then have a more successful career as a dentist in New Jersey.
Infielder Alexis Infante went 5-for-27 with the Blue Jays between 1987 and 1989, and 1-for-28 with the Braves in 1990. He would later be a manager in the Dominican Republic. The three Infantes in MLB history -- Alexis, Gregory, and Omar -- do not appear to be closely related, though all are from Venezuela.
Bob Ingersoll was a 31-year-old reliever who made four appearances with the Reds in 1914, giving up two runs on five hits and five walks in six innings.
A utilityman with the 1911 Boston Rustlers -- they wouldn't become the Braves until the following year -- Scotty Ingerton would get 521 AB while playing six different positions, hitting .250/.304/.340. After baseball, the former Rustler would become a deputy in Ohio.
A century later, another utilityman named Joe Inglett would play six positions (and pitch an inning!) across six seasons with the Indians, Blue Jays, Brewers, and Astros. Inglett would hit a respectable .283/.342/.392 in 808 career AB, but didn't get to the majors until he was 28 years old and never really got a chance; his best season was 2008, when he would hit .297/.355/.407 in 344 AB.
Charlie Ingraham caught one game for the Baltimore Orioles in 1883, going 1-for-4.
Utilityman Garey Ingram got into 82 games for the Dodgers between 1994 and 1997, going 37-for-142 (.261 BA). He played second, third, and outfield. He'd later be a coach in the minor leagues.
Mel Ingram -- apparently no relation to Garey -- had a "Moonlight Graham" MLB career, playing in MLB but never getting a plate appearance. He appeared in three games, all as a pinch runner, and scored a run for the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1929.
The third man with this last name, Ricardo Ingram, played in 12 games with the Tigers in 1994 and four with the Twins in 1995, going a combined total of 6-for-31 (.194). He would later be a minor league coach and manager, but tragically developed brain cancer and died in 2015 at the age of 48.
Brothers Dane Iorg and Garth Iorg played in the 1970s and 80s. Dane was a 1st round pick by the Philadelphia Phillies in 1971, but he didn't make it to the Show until 1977; then, after just 12 games, was traded to the St. Louis Cardinals for Bake McBride. A left-handed hitter, Dane was platooned throughout his career, hitting .284/.326/.387 in 1,502 AB vsR but just .200/.220/.276 in 145 AB vsL. Given his lack of power (14 career HR), speed (5 career SB), and defense (-3.1 career dWAR), it's surprising he had a 10-year MLB career. But he did win World Series rings with the '82 Cardinals and '85 Royals, going 12-for-23 (.522) with five doubles and a triple when it mattered most! Big brother Garth was originally drafted by the Yankees, but the Blue Jays took him in the 1976 expansion draft and he'd play his entire career as a utilityman for Toronto. After his MLB career ended, he would play in the short-lived Senior Professional Baseball Association, then would be a coach with the Brewers as well as a minor league manager. His sons Isaac, Eli, and Cale all played in the minors but never made the Show.
Happy Iott played in three games with the 1903 Cleveland Naps, going 2-for-10. A Maine native, the outfielder would later play in minor league and semipro teams in his home state.
Apparently no relation, Hooks Iott pitched in two games as a 21-year-old rookie with the St. Louis Browns in 1941, then in 24 games with the Browns and Giants in 1947... something must have happened in the middle... oh right, World War II. The lefty served in the U.S. Army Air Force during the war. He went 3-9 with a 7.05 ERA in 81.2 IP in his bifurcated MLB career, then would pitch into the late 1950s in the minors, including going 24-9 with a 1.83 ERA in 260.0 IP with the St. Petersburg Saints of the Florida International League in 1952.
Switch-hitting infielder Hal Irelan played just one season in the bigs, hitting .236 in 67 games with the Philadelphia Phillies in 1914. He would have a much longer career in the minors, still playing for Decatur in the, appropriately enough, Three-I League in 1926. He'd later be a minor league manager.
Another switch-hitting infielder came along in the early 1980s, Tim Ireland. He would go 1-for-7 in 11 games with the Royals scattered between 1981 and 1982. After a long career in the minors, Ireland would spend two seasons with the Hiroshima Toyo Carp, hitting .275 with 18 HR in 585 AB. Like many others on this list, he would later be a manager in the minors.
Venezuelan Hernan Iribarren hit .185 in 27 AB for the Brewers between 2008 and 2009; he returned to the majors in 2016 at the age of 32 and hit .311 in 45 AB for the Reds. A utilityman, Iribarren saw time first, second, third, and all three outfield positions.
A highly prized prospect at Ferrum Junior College, Daryl Irvine was selected in three different drafts -- in the 3rd round, in the 2nd round, and finally in the 1st round -- before signing with the Red Sox in 1985. He posted a 3.34 ERA in nine minor league seasons, but never mastered his control, with 291 walks in 711.2 minor league innings. In the bigs, he posted a 5.68 ERA and an unsightly 4.7 BB/9 (with just 3.8 K/9).
Bill Irwin somehow acquired the nickname Phil. He pitched in two games for the Cincinnati Red Stockings late in the 1886 season, giving up 19 runs (11 earned) on 18 hits and eight walks. Each was a complete game loss!
Third baseman Ed Irwin played in one game with the Detroit Tigers in 1912, going 2-for-3 -- and both hits were triples! How he came to play in one and only game is a tale in and of itself. Ty Cobb had been suspended indefinitely for one of his more infamous incidents -- he'd jumped into the stands to beat up a man who had no hands -- and Tiger players refused to take the field until he was reinstated, or at least given a punishment with an end date. Rather than forfeit the game, the Tigers recruited some local college and semipro players, including Irwin. They were crushed 24-2 by the A's. League President Ban Johnson then told the Tigers that he'd kick all of them out of baseball if they refused to play again, and the strike ended. Cobb was reinstated on May 26. As for Irwin, he was killed in a bar brawl four years later. It's believed he still has the record for "most triples by a player without another base hit."
The brother of Arthur Irwin, infielder John Irwin hit .246 in 1,269 career at-bats. It's said he owed at least some of those at-bats to the fact that big brother Arthur was his manager with the 1889 Washington Nationals and 1891 Boston Reds.
Phil Irwin had two starts in the bigs, one with the Pirates in 2013 and another with the Rangers in 2014; he gave up eight runs (seven earned) on 12 hits and six walks in 8.2 innings. In 2015, he pitched in the Korean League, going 1-7 with a 8.68 ERA.
Shortstop Tommy Irwin got into three games with the Cleveland Indians late in the 1938 season; he went 1-for-9. Later in life he'd be a scout for Cleveland.
The last of the Irwins is Walt Irwin, who got into four games as a pinch runner and pinch hitter for the 1921 St. Louis Cardinals; he struck out in his only at-bat.
Orlando Isales started his pro career at the tender age of 15. By the time he reached the bigs in 1980, he was a veteran... at the age of 20. He played in three games for the Phillies in 1980; he went 2-for-5 with a triple, a walk, and three RBIs (.400/.500/.800!). But he never got another chance; he was in Triple-A for a few more years, then left for the Mexican League.
Travis Ishikawa is best remembered for his walk-off home run off Michael Wacha in the 2014 NLCS to send the Giants to the World Series for the third time in five seasons. "Smoky" only topped 200 AB once in his career, and accumulated just 1.1 career bWAR, but Giant fans won't ever forget him. He would later be a hitting coach for the Giants in the Arizona Fall League.
Akinori Iwamura was a top performer for the Yakult Swallows, topping .300 BA/30 HR in three straight seasons prior to signing with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in 2007. He hit a respectable .281/.354/.393 with the Rays over his first three MLB seasons, but cratered in 2010, hitting .182 with the Pirates and then .129 with the A's. After his release, the infielder would return to play in Japan for four more seasons.
Cuban-born catcher Hank Izquierdo went 7-for-26 in his only MLB season of 1967, playing for the Minnesota Twins. A lifer in the minor leagues, he didn't get the Call until he was 36 years old; his pro career started as a 20-year-old with Galveston in the Gulf Coast League in 1951, and ended with Veracruz in the Mexican League in 1974. He had 1,870 games in professional baseball, but only 16 in the bigs. He was later a minor league coach, a Mexican League manager, and a scout with the Minnesota Twins.
Another Cuban-born player, Hansel Izquierdo, defected when he was a teenager on the Cuban national junior team. He pitched in 20 games for the Florida Marlins in 2002, giving up 17 runs (15 earned) on 33 hits and 21 walks in 29.2 innings. He never resurfaced in the bigs, but he would pitch for 11 years in the minors, including stints with the White Sox, Expos, Yankees, and Pirates.
Cesar Izturis, Maicer's half-brother, played 13 years and accumulated 4,350 AB despite a career 64 OPS+, a testament to his glove. Over his career, the Venezuelan was 64 runs better than the average shortstop. Although his only All-Star selection came in 2005, his best year was the year before that, when he hit .288/.330/.381 in 670 AB, set career highs in nearly everything, and won a Gold Glove. His son, Cesar Izturis Jr., is a 20-year-old prospect in the Seattle Mariners system.
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2020.06.17 23:50 spear_fishing I'm a Voyeur. Sometimes you can't fight back.

Content Warning: There's a baby that's in danger. Now you know.

I’m a Voyeur. It is not a sex thing. We get called when something horrifying happens that needs a witness who isn’t going to scream and cry and try and run. We do not have a choice. The other Voyeurs call me Black Hat, you can read a little more about me and what I do here. Last time I checked in I explained why you shouldn't trust the sun. We live in a fucked up world with fucked up things that don’t have sharp teeth and a taste for eyes. Those are hard enough to avoid. But it can be much, much worse.
The last few weeks are a bit of a blur--the kind of period of time that starts when you randomly look at the date, blink, and when you check again it’s a month later. Nothing unnatural came and ate almost three weeks of my life, I promise. The only new monster that took interest in my ass was plain ol’ monotony. We all know it in some way or another, when the dissociation hits, it hits. Sometimes it’s only long enough to last the drive to work so that when you walk into the building you realize you can’t remember ever actually turning, elsewhere you’ll see it in the wage slave that loses five months at the office between the vacations that finally let them feel again.
Sometimes it literally is some thing that shows up and eats a month of your life. It’s less common, but it’s more common than you probably think.
I’m something of an expert when it comes to things being interested in my ass--figuratively, mostly, but there’s a non-zero chance that I’ve hooked up with someone reading this after meeting at a bar and chatting about scary stories on reddit. You’d be surprised at how effective talking about nosleep can be as a pickup line. It also helps that people being interested in my ass can often be literally true, too.
But when I say I’m an expert in things that chase I mean it. Running is usually the best answer if you want to keep your head, but sometimes you just aren’t fast enough. Sometimes you gotta fight. Sometimes that fight just ain’t fair.

The first job I fucked up taught me an extremely valuable lesson: that despite the fact that we call ourselves Voyeurs, sometimes fulfilling our duties requires getting involved. I should have known that going in. Social Engineering is an important part of hacking--frankly, the most valuable part if what you’re looking for is results--and it entirely hinges on the ability to get information out of and bypass physical locations and the people inside of them. Hacking isn’t all about command lines and cracking networks. Most of the time it involves ringing up a call center over and over until you can catch some poor minimum wage employee who’s willing to say the wrong thing to the wrong person. Believe it or not, but tricking a customer service agent into giving you their credentials is, often literally, infinitely faster than trying to do it with a computer program.
What that means, functionally, is that sometimes in order to get to the end of your job you have to actually get your hands dirty. Up until my first failure I’d never needed to do anything that took me beyond the broad internet, wifi, or a bluetooth connection. If I couldn’t do it in my car, I could do it in a Starbucks. Or a park. Or a library. So when I found myself sitting outside of a small server center in Pittsburgh that required me to be a bit more physical than usual I ignored everything screaming at me to head inside the building and figured I must have missed something. I knew what I needed to do and I knew that I could do it, but to be honest, I was afraid of whatever might be in there. I was desperate to cling onto that last bit of safety my laptop provided me from really, truly, viscerally experiencing the monsters I’d just started getting used to seeing.
I knew I’d fucked up. My fear won. My body was, however temporarily, broken as punishment for it. I’d probably do it again if I had to do it over.
The second time--the situation that left me with my second, mouth-less shadow--was different. I didn’t fuck up because I was afraid. I fucked up because I was angry. I failed because, no matter how many times you see these monsters prey on the weak and unsuspecting, sometimes it ends up being too much. I wish, like the first time, I could say I would choose it again. I wish I could say that the anger would have beat the promise of years of looking over my shoulder had I known what was coming. I wouldn’t. You can call me a coward, and you wouldn’t be wrong, but the kind of paranoia that comes packaged with the Thing with no Mouth’s presence exhausts me in a way that, frankly, I’d trade almost anything to escape. But I can’t. Don’t even think death’s gonna let me slip away from this one..
It started with a text message. It contained a phone number, a license plate, and a four digit PIN. The license plate was registered to Amber Hollington, a single mother that worked six days a week to scrape together barely enough for some shitty low-end Boston apartment and enough baby mush to make sure her 10 month old’s bones wouldn’t be too brittle if he was lucky enough for them to set. The number and the PIN belonged to the barebones smartphone she used to call her mother three states away and watch Youtube videos of people eating every item on the menu at restaurants she knew she’d never be able to afford.
It also allowed me to access her device’s location. She’d installed a real time tracking app, undoubtedly in an effort to provide some insurance in case the phone ended up getting lost.. Unfortunately for her she used the same PIN to access it that she used to unlock her phone. Unfortunately for her that exact same PIN was sitting in my text inbox ready and waiting.
It was about ten in the evening in mid-April when I eventually managed to catch up with her. Her updated location showed her sitting around at a rest stop outside of Boston. During the drive out I took the chance to do some basic poking around--I checked her Facebook for updates, her recent texts, and her search history. She was making the long trip with her kid to visit her Mom a few states over. They hadn’t talked in years, but recently reconnected when her son was born and had plans to celebrate her Mother’s birthday out in middle America. Her mom wanted to take her grandson to the aquarium and make the two of them a big dinner afterwards. Her mom wanted to find a way to make up forfucking up when Amber was a kid.
When I pulled up I saw her through the window of a diner. Some part of my thing makes it obvious what I’m supposed to be watching. Usually. Sometimes I think they make it harder just to fuck with me. Her Facebook profile picture had been updated recently, though she did a good job of making sure her high school friends couldn’t see the dark rings that had settled under her eyes. But she was there, a woman in her mid-twenties whose blonde hair was vibrant and full of youth despite the dark circles that marked her as someone who had seen far too much, far too soon.
She sat across from her son. It’s weird--in all of the searching I’d done on my way to catch up to her I read through countless posts and texts and updates that mentioned her kid but neither then, nor now, could I tell you what his name was. I know he had one, obviously, because she bragged about him on social media, but when I tried to read it my mind shorted out. I knew I was looking at his name, and that she was saying it, but to this day I have no fucking idea what it might be.
She had him laying in his carrier on the far corner of the table opposite her, right up against the window. I couldn’t see him inside of it from my car, but I could see the ridiculous faces she’d make at him and the satisfied look that came after when he invariably giggled back. At some point earlier she’d ordered some food--a breakfast combo that had been whittled down to a yolk-stained quarter of egg white and some crumbles of bacon she’d periodically pick up with her fingers and pop into her mouth. The food was an afterthought. A concession. All she wanted in that moment was to watch her son and make him laugh. I think she was good at it, too. Grateful for the chance to have this moment. Her kid was too young to recognize as meaningful--so I decided to appreciate it for him.
We sat there for about an hour. You might think that with all of the murder and monsters it’d make someone like me constantly aware, but you’d be wrong. Sitting in a car waiting for something to happen is, maximum, neutral. Frankly, most of the time it’s straight up fucking boring. But she looked happy--which I’m ashamed to say frustrated me at the time. I wasn’t exactly new to the job at that point, but I wasn’t where I am today. I was in this fucked up limbo that left me desensitized enough to ignore the weight of these situations without giving the very real people involved the respect they deserved. Even if they’d never know I was giving it. Trauma will do that. Amber deserved better.
I spent another hour watching a trashy reality show I’d downloaded onto my phone, periodically glancing up to make sure I hadn’t lost my mark. There wasn’t really much to watch otherwise with the shitty service. Besides me, the parking lot featured two semis camped out for the night, a pickup, and three or four sedans sitting empty while their occupants mainlined enough coffee to get them through their drive. At one point a mom van pulled in and parked near the door just long enough for a twenty-something to run inside to piss quickly before she got chewed out for not going before they left. Quiet, otherwise.
I think Amber was hesitant to keep going. She’d had a pretty rough time with her parents growing up. Her Dad was the kind of breadwinner that had a lot of opinions on what and how you were meant to act in order to be a decent, God-fearing American. Her Mom was the type that if she’d grown up a little bit south and been born a little bit later she’d have projected her insecurities on her kid and attempted to, vicariously, find meaning through signing Amber up for beauty pageants. Instead she channeled it into emotional abuse and spent hours every week watching some millionaire fuck in a megachurch half the country away preach about how important love and family is. Like her Dad said, Perfect American Family..
She was a fighter, though. And she was smart, regardless of the bullshit her parents fed her. She was popular in school and worked her ass off to earn the A’s she’d bring home on her report cards,. But when all you are to your parents is stuffing for their own emotional void, a 4.0 GPA and a spot on the Varsity Volleyball team doesn’t cut it. Her life at home was divided between navigating the expectations of her parents and avoiding them as much as possible. Probably won’t surprise you to learn she was out of the house if she could help it..
By high school she was well on her way to being as perfectly functional an adult as being a Millenial allows. In spite of her home life. She spent time with her friends, she played sports, she got a part time job and made the absolutely baffling fucking decision to put her paychecks into a savings account instead of blowing instantly like I would have.I don’t know how old you are reading this, but if you have teens in your life, cut them some fucking slack. It’s harder than you remember. Her parents didn’t know about the cash, and by graduation she planned to be on whatever plane took her as far from them as possible. Maybe then they’d realize just how much they fucked up. They wouldn’t, she knew, but just like those food binging Youtube videos she watched she found some comfort in the thought.
By early senior year she’d started experimenting with all of the things most teenagers end up trying at some point or another. Dating progressed from goodnight kisses to loudly making out in a movie theater while some movie she’d never remember barely covered the noise. Late night phone calls with friends turned into midnight escapes so she could not inhale the cigarettes her best friend snatched out of her older brother’s bedroom.
Eventually, she ended up taking part in what I consider to be the most fundamental and important rebel teenager tradition: pounding back a bottle of plastic bottle vodka, in a park with your friends, at three in the morning. No hesitation. No chaser. No hangover the next day. The benefits of youth. These days it doesn’t matter how much I drink, I swear to god my hangovers have doubled in severity year over year. What I’d give to be nineteen again and be able to down half a bottle of Malibu and be completely fine the next day.
Most of the time this tradition ends with you stumbling back home or passing out on your friends floor. Amber, however, was unlucky. Catastrophically. For most kids I knew growing up getting caught meant you’d get an MIC (Minor in Consumption) tossed on your record, a stern talking to, and a slap on the wrist. When a cop passed by while they were a shot away from tossing the bottle in the trash and fucking off back to someone’s house they didn’t even think to try and scatter. They took the hit, waited until their pissed off parents came to pick them up, and by five in the morning Amber was sitting on her living room couch hoping that vein in her Dad’s neck would just fucking pop so he’d stop fucking screaming.
I think, if she’d played it differently, the night might have ended with a year's worth of being grounded and a lot more bullshit in her day-to-day, but otherwise mostly stable. But Amber was a tired, pissed off, extremely drunk teenager who decided that day was the day she’d had enough. When her Dad screamed, she screamed back. When her Mom slapped her, she spit in her face. When they shouted the bullshit lies she’d been hearing since she was a kid she told them to shut the fuck up. She screamed the kind of truths you only know when you’re an angry kid who lost the family lottery.
The night didn’t end with a slap on the wrist. It ended with her father picking her up by the waist and tossing her out on the front porch. It ended with a plane ticket to the east coast and three grand moved from her savings to her checking account. It ended with her saying goodbye to that life without a second thought.
At first, at least. Three grand doesn’t get you very far on the east coast, especially when you’re a dropout whose only experience is tearing tickets at a movie theater. For a few years she’d look back a lot. She knew that she could catch a flight back home and stay at a friend’s place until she could figure things out, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t let those motherfuckers in her family think they’d been right. Even if they already did. There were enough states between them and her to push it to the back of her mind.
.The beginning was rough, and it never got any easier. She did what she could, worked as hard as she needed to, and dug out a life for herself. It wasn’t a good one and she bled for every ounce of comfort she could find, but it was hers.
Years later she got pregnant after a shitty Tinder hookup. She decided to keep the kid despite his dad fucking off literally instantly. Her own Dad had died a few years earlier--colon cancer. He died shitting himself. Fucker got what he deserved.
A month after the birth of her son her Mom managed to track down her phone number and reach out. It took a few more months for her to convince Amber to let her meet her grandson. And a few months beyond that for Amber to get enough time away from making rent to handle the time spent visiting. I don’t know if Amber ever got over the feeling that it was a trap, but in the years since then I’m convinced her Mom was genuinely sorry. I check in on her every once in a while. She’s a better person, now.
It wouldn’t have taken me searching through her online history to learn all of that--I could have seen all of it in the way she looked at her kid. The dark circles under her eyes weren’t there just because she’d seen too much, they were the mark of someone who had lived through enough to know how to love well and to love right. Sometimes you gotta struggle for that. That’s a fight you can win.
I promise not all of my jobs involve good people dying. But if I’m going to tell my story it means I have to tell Amber’s story too. Just like Jacob’s during my first job. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.
It wasn’t until after Midnight that she paid her bill and got back in her cart. The parking lot had stayed mostly empty until then and I’d drained enough of my phone’s battery to need to plug it into my car’s USB charger. She used her key to unlock the backdoor of her car, made sure her kid was safe and secure in his carseat, then quietly shuffled into the front and hit the road. I waited a few minutes to head out myself--I’d catch up to her a bit later to avoid the chance of her seeing me leave the parking lot.
We drove for about an hour before I noticed that I wasn’t the only one who had the same idea.A pair of headlines shined behind me in the distance about forty-five minutes in and I made a point to check on them periodically. Paying attention is the number one safety skill most people lack, even if I used to take my status’ safety for granted. Within a few minutes I noticed that our third wasn’t just another driver on the highway. The truck from the rest stop parking lot had pulled out behind me and was following along.
Another person driving along a highway might not seem particularly strange to most people, but with shit like this there is no such thing as coincidence It stayed quiet for the next half an hour.. That didn’t make me feel any better. --especially when the truck caught up to me, swerved to pass, and hit the gas hard enough to rocket it out in front of Amber’s sedan. It slammed on its breaks hard enough to send her just off the road, where her car stalled.
I cut my headlights and pulled off to the side a few hundred feet behind them. It wasn’t even remotely inconspicuous--but it didn’t need to be. It doesn’t matter if I’m seen as long as that doesn’t fuck things up. Chances are whatever was in that pickup knew I’d be there, and Amber seeing me wouldn’t make the monster in the truck go away.
And trust me, it was a fucking monster. Something that looked like a businessman popped open the door and planted its expensive shoes on the highway pavement.. It sauntered casually up to her window, rapped its knuckles on the glass, and waited until it was rolled down just enough to speak through it. It leaned in close, lips brushing the top of the glass, and said something quietly before pulling back a few steps. I don’t know what she heard, but it was enough for her to hastily get out of her car.
You might know this too, but there’s a kind of darkness that only exists on a highway in the middle of the night. It’s not quite the same as the darkness you have in a city, or in the wilderness--it’s got a different feel to it. A different texture. It’s different than the dark you see in the woods--we’ve touched it, we travel it, and there are things that know that very well. I’ve met more than a few truckers who know what I mean. I’ve also met a few who have warned me not to look into it for too long. With the amount of time I spend out on the interstates, I promise you should listen to that advice.
That darkness sucked up the ambient light from the stars and dimmed the light from Amber’s high beams. Wouldn’t matter if it was pitch black, though. When there’s something I’m supposed to see, I see it. To her credit, she held it together better than I would have if I was in her shoes. She put her hands out in front of her and put some distance between her car. She was trying to be quiet, pointing back to where her son was sleeping.
The thing that looked like a man followed her finger with his eyes and stared through the window for a beat. When Amber turned to look back herself I flinched at the sound of a gunshot. Then a baby’s cries. The thing had pulled a gun from its suit and fired a shot into Amber’s arm.
The reason I know for a fact this thing was a thing and not a person was clear when it reached for its gun. Its arm whipped through the air in a flash while the rest of it stayed completely still. Pure efficiency. Where it sauntered up with a confidence and a swagger to match its 3 piece suit earlier, now it was a hunter. There’s no chance Amber could have even seen it coming. I barely did and seeing is literally what I do.
Her arm was fucked, but her adrenaline kicked in. Sometimes you’re cornered. Sometimes you have to fight. She rushed it and slammed her uninjured shoulder into it with everything she had. Most of us have heard the story of that mother who lifted a car with her bare hands so she could save her kid. We all know that the surest way to get fucking killed in the woods is to get between a bear and her cubs. There’s nothing deadlier than a Mom when the life of their kid is on the line.
Nothing human, at least.
She managed to move it slightly, at least. Its gun didn’t budge an inch, but the thing lurched back when she made contact. It moved just as fast as it had before, grabbed Amber by the threat, and tossed her aside into the middle of the lane with less than no effort. Her skull made contact with the road when she landed, leaving her dazed as she struggled to roll onto her side and get back up.
The businessman turned its head to watch her silently before it casually walked over to where she struggled. She couldn’t see it, but it was grinning. It didn’t stop until it was looming over her. She had just enough time to look up as it angled its gun towards her forehead and with a flash of the muzzle and a ring of the shot Amber stopped moving and wouldn’t ever start again.
For a moment, it was silent. Then her kid started crying again.
The businessman turned its head back and looked into the car before holstering its gun. The kid was still screaming as the blood from Amber’s head started oozing out onto the pavement. It dragged its finger along the trunk as it moved around the back of the car. Hunter mode was off--it was back to swaggering around without a care in the world. It tapped its hand along the roof of the car with another satisfied look towards Amber’s body before it leaned to the side. With a flash of glass it elbowed the window and shattered it in one effortless motion.
I don’t know if it planned to take it, or kill it, or eat it, but when the crying hit the night air everything I’d seen up to that moment hit me like a brick to the fucking head. The trauma of Amber’s life leading up to this moment. Where she was casually discarded and dispatched only for some fucking monster to take everything else from her afterwards? How nonchalantly it enjoyed itself? How it acted now like nothing in the fucking world could stop it?
Not today, motherfucker.
I flicked my high beams on and gunned the gas. I swerved just enough to skirt along the passenger side of the car, and could see it snap its head towards me just in time for the crying kid to be drowned out by the scream of metal on metal as I rammed full speed into the fucker. My side mirror snapped off with a crack and Amber’s sedan shuddered as my car dragged along its side, but that motherfucker’s head slammed right into my hood as I took it off its feet. We went about fifty yards before I slammed on my breaks and sent it rolling out onto the middle of the highway.
Here’s a little tip: When it comes to things you don’t understand, things that want you dead? Don’t hesitate. Best case it won’t matter. Usually, you’ll end up dead. I wasn’t stalled for more than a second before I ripped back the parking brake, mashed the gas again, and released it just as I saw the businessman start to twitch. Both sets of wheels buckled as I crashed over it. Then again in reverse. Repeat. I didn’t stop to look if it was still moving, I just kept hitting it until my car couldn’t take it anymore. Then I grabbed my shit, ran across the pavement to Amber’s car hoping it would run, and blitzed the fuck out of there when it started up. It wasn’t moving anymore.
Can’t grin when your head is mashed into a putty.
You’re probably thinking I should have acted sooner. You’re probably right. I make a lot of excuses in this job, because, frankly, I would lose my fucking mind if I didn’t. But try to understand that there’s a kind of helplessness that comes from seeing all of the shit that I’ve seen. Knowing that the horrors that prowl around out there could snuff you out in a second if you end up at the wrong place at the wrong time. After a while, you just accept it. You become complicit. There’s an inherent understanding that fighting that acceptance is probably gonna fucking kill you. But, sometimes, that’s the risk you gotta take. Life work’s like that.
I was ready to die that night, doing what I did. I was expecting my nose to start bleeding or my lungs to stop working or for another pickup to run me off the road just like it did Amber. But it didn’t. I’m pretty sure I spent that whole ride more afraid than the kid that was crying in the back seat. I only stopped for gas, and in record time I dropped the kid and the car off at his Grandmother’s house.
I didn’t stay to explain what had happened. I loaded up my backpack, reached back and gave the kid’s palm a squeeze, and headed off up the street. A few blocks away I pulled out my cell and called up Amber’s Mom’s landline. I told her her Grandson was outside, and that she needed to hurry. That he was probably hungry. And that he needed his diaper changed. I told her Amber was gone, and that I was sorry that I couldn’t save her too. I said that Amber loved her, in the end. Then I hung up, broke the SIM card in half, crushed the phone on the sidewalk, and kicked it into an overflow drain.
A few hours passed before the feeling of being watched set in. Every so often I’d see something move out of the corner of my eye. When I caught a glance of two giant eyes staring out at me from the window of a closed-up office building I snatched a car and ditched town. It took a while before I had my first real encounter with the Thing with no Mouth, but I knew from exactly that moment that there’d be repercussions for what I did. I’ll tell you about that another time.
Sometimes you can’t fight back. The real world happens fast--faster when you don’t see it coming. But sometimes you can fight back. And when you can, you should. No matter what might happen.
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2020.06.10 08:17 youto2 House Party 06/08/2020 - Part Three

Baker looks shocked for a moment, but immediately shoves Harrison out of the ring and lifts West up for a powerbomb instead! West manages to shift his weight, though, and catches Baker with the Billy Kidman Special! Baker hits the mat face-first, and West scrambles for the tag! He’s inches away from it -
Paisner: West looking for the tag! He’s almost there! Ironblood is HYPED to come into this match!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-when Harrison comes out of nowhere and scythes the feet out from under Ironblood, leaving West to fend for himself! West desperately gets back to vertical, but is obviously feeling the effects of the slams from earlier! Baker looks to take advantage of this with a corner clothesline, but West stops him with a corner-assisted big boot! Baker staggers back, and West pushes himself out of the corner, and follows up with some strong-style chops that send Baker to the mat!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAY!
On the outside of the ring, it’s big boy central as Harrison and Ironblood just fucking punch each other in the mouth repeatedly! Harrison isn’t damaged, per-se, but he’s definitely more tired from throwing 180 pounds of Cam’Ron around, and Ironblood lays him out with a running shoulder tackle! Cam’Ron sees this, and he goes to Ironblood for the tag! Ironblood comes into the ring right as Baker starts to get up!
Paisner: If I was Jim Baker, I wouldn’t get up right now, but I don’t think he’s aware of the trouble he’s in!
Woodbridge: Ironblood is directing traffic, and it looks like Baker is about to have a really bad time!
West gets a running start and hits the ropes right as Baker stands up. Baker’s eyes widen as he sees a Ironblood train chugging at him, but he doesn’t have time to react before both West and Ironblood turn him inside out with DUAL burning lariats! Baker is absolutely nonexistent after the crash, and West charges forward, catching the rising Hank with a baseball slide through the ropes as Hugo goes for the cover!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING
Javier: And your winner, at a time of 9:56.... The team of Cam’Ron West and Hugo Ironblood!
Paisner: Ironblood came in like a freight train, and perhaps shaved a few years off Baker’s life with that dual lariat, but we already knew Ironblood was dangerous.
Woodbridge: Yeah, what we didn’t know was how much of an unbridled beating Cam’Ron West could take and still keep on fighting!
Hugo and Cam’Ron raise each others’ arms in celebration, before walking to the back, leaving an absolutely unconscious Baker and a frustrated Harrison behind them!
We open to a new scene, as we see Stephen Romero and backstage hands continuing to set up the pride party. We now see 4 boxes of rainbow cookies set up on a table, the cookies being in the style of those very sweet lofthouse frosted cookies. With both the base cookies and the frosting being rainbow designed. We see Romero and backstage hands painting the table set ups rainbow. Romero just completing the center table where the cake will later be set. He takes off the painters apron he was wearing for the purpose, putting it into a basket to be took away later. As he then begins to speak.
Romero: Alright, that’ll set by the time we open up. I swear man, pride month actually does make me gayer. Since like, I wanna say february, i’ve been having a noticeable preference for feminine people. I tend to have preferences, but it’s not consistent, it operates in cycles. A bi-cycle if you will. And this preference for feminine people lasted quite a lot longer than my preferences usually last. But you know what happens as soon as it turns June? I start really liking masculine people again. I re-downloaded grindr for god sakes! I don’t even do that everytime I have a preference for men, so you know i’m fuckin’ desperate right now! Now, I haven’t actually checked my notifications in a moment, lets see what I have…
Romero then brings out his phone, checking through his grindr messages.
Romero: Alright, I got like 12 messages in just like, an hour or so. When you’re tall and you work out I swear it’s so fuckin’ easy. I never have to be the one to make the first move when it comes to dating other men. Alright, lets see what these say…...we got one message fetishizing my penis because i’m black……..we got a second message fetishizing my penis because i’m black………..a third message fetishizing my penis because i’m black………..a fourth message fetishizing my penis because i’m black…...Oh hey! We actually just got a normal message saying hi! I’ll actually respond to this one, alrigh-oh nevermind, followed it with an unsolicited dick pic, nevermind. Blocked. Alright, lets see the next message……………..a fifth message fetishizing my penis because i’m black. Jesus christ, do white dudes think i’ll like that? Hell, why are they even messaging me about my penis? It clearly states in my bio i’m a bo-
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
We come back from the brief interruption, where we see Romero now decorating the cupcakes with frosting, we see that he had already frosted two cupcakes with the pink, purple, and blue design of the bisexual flag, and one cupcake with the orange stripe lesbian flag, as he seems to be working on frosting the other two lesbian cupcakes.
Romero: Got these out not too long ago, frost ‘em while they won’t burn me when I work with them, but still warm enough for the frosting to adhere…
Romero continues to apply the frosting to the cupcakes, as we see backstage hands bring in extra refreshments. Two different two-liters of generic brand cola, three bottles of vodka, and of course, two gallons of milk. Romero finishes making the lesbian cupcakes, as he moves on to making a pansexual cupcake, as we hear the cameraman converse with him.
Cameraman: Now, sorry if this is rude, but I was kinda wondering, with your previous history of being in a tag team with Robert Warlock-
Romero: Hey! I know what you’re gonna ask you know, just because i’m a man who can be attracted to other men does not mean I cannot have strong relationships with other men that are simply platonic! To answer, he did know, he was one of the first people I told, and he was very supportive……..and true he was very kind…..and I did find him very handsome…….but he was straight as hell! Even if that’s what I wanted, it couldn’t have happened.
Cameraman: Did you ever ask him? Or was that just an assumption?
Romero: …..uh…….um…….well it’s been years okay! I kept in contact for a bit after he retired, but it fizzled out, he was just very solidly done with the wrestler’s life. He got very busy with his new professions, I was struggling with how to adapt to being a singles wrestler and all the mental health shit that came with it. Then we never got back in touch following that. Even if i’m wrong, it’s bygones by now. I like….open up our text convos and begin to type sometimes, I always end up erasing it though, it’s just at this point-
We then hear Romero’s phone buzzing again to interrupt this. Which he quickly whips out of his pocket, a quick mood shift coming alongside it, as he answers.
Romero: Hello?.....Oh shit the cake’s here?! Wonderful! I’ll be out there to get it in a moment! Thank you so much!
Romero then turns to three idling backstage hands, conversing amongst themselves as most of the prep work is done, leaving them with little to do.
Romero: Hey lads, you able to help me with somethin’?
The backstage crew all nod, as Romero motions them to come over.
Romero: Well, we got a big ass cake being delivered, I could probably lift the weight myself, but not way i’d be able to balance it, y’all mind helping me with that?
The crew all respond saying they wouldn’t mind, as Romero and the crew head out to retrieve the cake.
We then return to the ring, where we yet again see Jaiver standing in the middle, ready to make some more announcements.
Babaganoush: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, with a 30-minute time limit! Refereeing is Harry Undersach!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! WE’RE WILD ABOUT HARRY! WE’RE WILD ABOUT HARRY!
Babaganoush: Introducing first…
“Prisoner of Society” plays and Dick Dover walks out as the music begins to intensify, laughing off the boos and gives Fat Fan with Beer an earful when he notices he’s in the audience! When he hits the ring, he stands in the center and pulls on his wrist tape, and pretends it’s a winch that is lifting his middle finger into the bird. Naturally, everyone boos much harder at this.
Babaganoush: From Toronto, Ontario, weighing in at 220 pounds - DICK! DOVER!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCK YOU DOVER! FUCK YOU DOVER!
Paisner: Dick Dover has all but threatened to use his patented, metal detector-proof ceramic knuckles tonight. Let’s see if Undersach finds anything suspicious on him during the pre-match.
Babaganoush: And his opponent…
Rain’s cover of “Enter Sandman” plays, already causing a reflexive reaction of cheers from the WiR crowd, and Tony Stevens, The Son of the Milkman, comes out accompanied by two dirndl-clad and rather male Bavarian milkmaids. They show him off like he’s the prize on The Price is Right as he stomps to the ring, pounding a bottle of milk as he does so and spilling the remainder all over himself, then stripping off his tearaway pants and suspendies to reveal milk-white tights. And now he is ready for battle.
Babaganoush: ...from Aberdeen, Scotland, weighing in at 12 stone and 13… TONY… EL HIJO DEL MILKMAN… STEVENS!
Crowd: MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK!
Woodbridge: Well, you can say one thing - ain’t nobody quite like El Hijo del Milkman.
Paisner: You mean except for when Ty--
Woodbridge: Shut it, Pais, all due respect.
Dick Dover does not look impressed with the Milkman and snickers and points as if to say “would you fuckin’ look at THIS goof,” but Stevens stares death at him. Harry Undersach pats down both men for weapons and finds… something on Dover! He reluctantly takes out the knucks and gives them up to the timekeeper, who pockets them.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: And nothing slipping past Harry Undersach! Now that the weapon is out of play, we should be getting a solid technical bout from these two workhorses.
Woodbridge: You don’t think Dover will find SOME bullshit to pull? Bit naive of you, Big Al.
DING DING DING!
The match begins with the two men circling and eyeing each other up, and they go in for a pretty intense lockup, practically clawing at each other as they get into the folkstyle collar-and-elbow clinch! It’s Milkman who gets the advantage first and puts on a front facelock, looking perhaps for an early vertical suplex, but Dover counters out by kicking Stevens’s legs out from under him! Stevens kips up right away and retorts by whipping Dover into the corner - he charges in with an uppercut, but Dover ducks and gets to the side. As Stevens steps back out of the corner the crouching Dover reaches up between his legs and rolls him backwards into a schoolboy clutch
1!
2!
NO!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Woodbridge: Dover wanting to make this a fast one…
Paisner: Stevens too fast for that to happen, though.
Stevens kicks out but Dover immediately slaps on a side headlock and raises Stevens’s neck, intending to turn this into some kind of neckbreaker - Stevens shakes out and gives Dover a big forehand slap to the chest just to let him know what he thinks of that! Dover puts up his dukes and the two get to punching! Both men are throwing wild jabs until Dover sneaks a body hook that winds Stevens and pounds him into the corner!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dover won’t let up on Stevens and Harry goes to count…
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
At the last moment Dover steps away and physically pulls Stevens out of the corner. “I BROKE ON FIVE, YOU SAW IT!” he loudly says to Harry, who isn’t amused, but has to concede that. Stevens staggers but shakes himself out, rubbing his chest and neck as Dover has his moment with the ref. Stevens moves to grab Dover, who responds with another flurry of punches!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: Dover’s strategy right now - and I’m not saying it ain’t a tried and true, working one - is to turn Stevens into chicken scallopini.
Indeed, Dover grabs Stevens by the back of the head and pulls him in and down, aiming short knee strikes into the smaller man’s forehead - in trying to have a clear path for his strikes, though, Dover isn’t holding Stevens very strongly, who ducks in and gives Dover a single-leg takedown! It’s enough to grab onto Dover for a cross press!
1!
2!
NO!
Crowd: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW...
Paisner: A really crisp double leg by Stevens there, fighting through those short-range but VERY high knees!
Woodbridge: I think both of these men may have to be worried about surprise pins this whole match.
Dover pops out of the pin and scrambles to his feet just as Stevens does the same - a knee to the gut from Dover forces Stevens to hunch over for just a second, and Dover then gutwrenches Stevens! He flips him over for a suplex and holds on for the pin!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: Oh, and there’s a more FORCEFUL one!
1!
2!
NO!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! STEVENS! STEVENS! STEVENS!
Paisner: Stevens out of Dover’s snap gutwrench suplex at 2.5, and the crowd are trying to get Hijo del Milkman to rally!
Tony Stevens struggles to his feet and dares Dover to come at him again! The grinning Dover lunges for him once again - Stevens sidesteps and puts on a headlock! Quick as a flash he repositions Dover and gives him an Irish whip, and as Dover runs back off the ropes Stevens knocks him over with a shoulder tackle! It merely knocks Dover off his feet, not really damaging him, but that’s all Stevens needs - He gets down, wincing as he strains his somewhat damaged neck, and tries his best to turn Dover onto his belly!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Woodbridge: HE’S TRYIN’ FOR THE FULL CHURN!
Dover, however, is not having it - but before Dover can get back to his feet Stevens catches one of his legs in the crook of his arm and pulls it to his chest, then secures it near the ankle with the other arm as he moves his first arm further up the trapped leg, settling for a kneeling kneebar of sorts as he shuffles into the position that’ll let him pull the joint into full hyperextension.
Woodbridge: Oh, he ain’t getting it, but look at Stevens improvise!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! TAP DOVER TAP! TAP DOVER TAP!
Dover struggles mightily in the hold and eventually his flailing takes Stevens off-balance and Dover can rock himself towards the ropes, enough so that he can get his hand on the bottom rope. Stevens obligingly releases him from the hold.
Crowd: AWWWWWWWWWW…
Paisner: Dick Dover should be thanking his lucky stars he got the ropes when he did.
Woodbridge: Too damn right. Just a little bit longer and he would have either had to tap, or have something real important get torn in half.
Dick Dover gets back up with the aid of the ropes and Stevens nods at him and gives him the come-at-me again, waiting for him to be back in a legal part of the ring - Dover nods back but then suddenly leaps out and elbows Stevens in the neck! Stevens stumbles backwards into the opposite ropes and when he comes running back Dover catches and lifts him, looking for his jawbreaker - Stevens blocks by getting his feet under him in time! They begin to trade blows once again, Dover favoring one leg, but this time Stevens has the advantage, and he tries a wild haymaker to Dover’s head - Dover ducks under it and suddenly lifts Stevens straight upwards parallel to his own body! He slams him down into a sitout spinebuster!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! / BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: JESUS DOVER WITH THE SKY HIGH!
Paisner: And it could be over! The sitout pin is in, even if Dover looks like he wants to collapse!
1!
2!
3 - NO!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Tony Stevens lifts his shoulder up just in time, and is still in it - but Dick Dover falls onto his back, clearly not able to sit up yet! Stevens himself remains somewhat limp on the mat, and Harry Undersach begins the standing 10-count - Dover beats it, although he falls to one knee after putting weight on his damaged leg, and then soon afterwards Stevens does as well, although he falls back onto his ass again and has to will himself back to his feet a second time!
Crowd: STEVENS! STEVENS! STEVENS! STEVENS!
Paisner: Just listen to the people chant for El Hijo del Milkman!
Woodbridge: He has calcium in his bones but more importantly, their love in his heart!
Dover makes another lunge to strike hard at Stevens’s neck, but it’s Stevens who dodges just in time, and he gets down to the ground to try to sweep up Dover in a schoolboy of his own, but instead of pinning he gets into a side grapevine leglock, hoping to make Dick submit!
Woodbridge: OH SHIT A SCHOOLBOY TAKEDOWN AND STEVENS TWISTS THE LEG!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
Harry Undersach hits the deck to look for a submission and a panicking, practically screaming Dick Dover reaches for the ropes as best he can as he flails, and does eventually get them! Dover now counts the DQ as Stevens keeps holding on…
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
Stevens lets go right away before he can be disqualified and Dover gasps from pain, but immediately begins berating the ref as he pulls himself back to his feet!
Dover: HE DIDN’T BREAK BEFORE FIVE! DISQUALIFY THAT PIECE OF SHIT!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
As Dover rants at Harry, the referee yells at him back, but unintentionally physically separates the two wrestlers!
Woodbridge: Lookit Dover buying recovery time with the ref in the way, that snake!
Dover: AND ANOTHER THING…
Feeling more confident and getting the adrenaline from arguing to ignore the pain in his leg, Dover leaps at Stevens and positions his jaw over Dover’s shoulder… Stevens falls on him as if in a crossbody! He puts enough weight on Dover’s legs to make Dover collapse onto his back - and then he turns him over!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Paisner: OH THAT REVERSAL!
Woodbridge: AND HE’S LOCKIN’ THE FULL CHURN!
Indeed, Stevens hooks one of Dover’s legs while he’s face-down and puts the ankle into his armpit, grabbing the calf and cranking the hip joint up, down, and around as he rotates the knee!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Woodbridge: FULL CHURN! FULL CHURN! LOOKIT THE TORQUE!
An agonized Dover has absolutely no choice but to tap!
DING DING DING!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Babaganoush: Here is your winner, by submission, at a time of 9 minutes 12 seconds… TONY! STEVENS!
Woodbridge: Milk DOES do a body good!
Paisner: Dover pulling out all sorts of technically legal chicanery, but it was Stevens’s heart and devastating hold that prevailed today. Still… it’s just a matter of time before Dick screws someone like he’s used to doing.
“Enter SandMilkman” plays yet again and Stevens smiles broadly after dropping Dover’s leg; he now knows he’ll be on the road to better opportunities in WiR! He takes a celebratory milk drink and slaps hands as he leaves; Dover, meanwhile, has an obvious and very painful limp as he sourly recovers his knux from the timekeeper and heads sullenly to the back.
We fade to the scene of Big Money Maverick, finishing up a phone call, sitting in a private room in the arena. It looks as if it's a storage room, as there are many event tables and chair racks in the room, as well as different event posters and other miscellaneous items.
Big Money Mav(on the phone): Yes sir….pleasure doing business with you…….take care.
Mav hangs up the phone, as we hear a knock on the door of the room.
Big Money Mav: What in the goddamn?
Suddenly none other than Chad Hammocks steps in through the door, as Maverick looks flabbergasted, popping up out of his seat.
Big Money Mav: What the- How the- I should kick your fuckin ass, how did you find me?!
Chad Hammocks: Well, I checked every other room in the place before I found you in this one.
Big Money Mav: Yeah, the whole point of me being in the last place you'd look was that you WOULDN'T find me. I guess I shouldn't have underestimated how long you'd look for me….
Chad Hammocks: Well, I like my job, and I was told to keep following you to try and get some info from you.
Mav throws his hands up in an act of frustration.
Big Money Mav: Well, a guy just can't get any privacy it seems….just like how staying private and safe online is an ever growing difficulty. At any moment you could be exploited by hackers. NordVPN allows you to change your IP address, making you harder to track, securing your privacy.
Chad facepalms and sighs.
Hammocks:...Just get it out of your system…..
Mav smiles as he turns to the camera.
Big Money Maverick: Millions of people get hacked from using a public network. You don't have to be part of it. NordVPN offers you the fastest VPN experience with more than 5200 servers in 59 countries. On a personal level, I have used NordVPN and have found it extremely useful through my endeavors. Don't be exploited by hackers, get a 77% discount for a 3 year plan by visiting nordvpn.com/BIGMONEYMAV.
Mav turns to Hammocks, who waits more patiently than he probably should at this point.
Chad Hammocks: Are you done now?.....
Mav walks over to Chad, and puts his arm around him.
Big Money Maverick: You know, Chad. You may be a cretin, and a nincompoop, and a slapnut, but you're not too bad.
Hammock stands there not knowing whether that was a compliment or an insult.
Big Money Maverick: The world's been waiting, and I know you've been waiting, so here it is. My Announcement…….is that I've officially been signed on for in-ring action next week!
Hammock's eyes widen as he listens.
Hammocks:.......
Big Money Mav:......
Hammocks:.....go on……
Big Money Mav:.....come again?....
Hammocks:....so…..who are you in action against?
Big Money Mav: Slow down, partner, one big announcement at a time! All I know is that it's gonna be teaming with 2 others, and we're gonna beat the crap out of 3 other pissants in a 6-Man Tag.
Mav pats Hammocks on the shoulder.
Big Money Mav: There you go Hammocks, you got what you wanted. Now, if you'd like to stick around I'd love to talk to you about how easy it is to listen to Audiobooks with Audible.
Hammocks quickly yells.
Hammocks: BACK TO YOU AT RINGSIDE-
Big Money Mav: Audible.com is a great, easy to-
Right in the middle of Mav's speech, we cut directly to Paisner and Woodbridge at the broadcast booth.
Woodbridge: Thank god we cut him off there.
Paisner: So Mav has declared that next week he's in a 6 man tag team bout! We don't know his allies, we don't know his enemies, but Big Money Mav will be there, and if he's to be believed, it'll be must-see!
We cut to ringside, as Javier now enters the ring, microphone in hand as he prepares to announce the match-up.
Javier: The following matchup is to one fall, and has a 30 minute time limit, refereed by Ivan Itchicock.
GFY by Amyl and the Sniffers plays and the blunt vocals kick in as Kaitlyn Casey Jones saunters out to the ring, and raises one arm to the sky, showing off a Black Lives Matter armband.
Paisner: A show of solidarity by KCJ for BLM.
Javier: Making her way to the ring, from Cardiff, Wales, weighing 200 pounds, Kaaaitlyn Caasey Jones!!!
Crowd: WOOOOOO! K-C-J! K-C-J!
Before entering the ring, Jones takes a knee next to the apron, then gets to her feet and hops on the apron and slides into the ring.
Paisner: She does seem to be less lethargic, I guess KCJ is feeling motivated today by recent events!
Woodbridge: She better be ready for her opponent, because he hasn’t been slowed down by a streak of indifference at any point in his career.
Death to the Hypocrite plays now as Alex Perilmorde now makes his way towards the ring with his eyes set on the ring and on Kaitlyn.
Javier: Now making his way to the ring, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing 213 pounds, Alllexx Perrilllmorde!!
Crowd: WOOO!!!
Peril slides into the ring and is face to face with an unflinching Kaitlyn, and the two don’t budge an inch before Ivan the referee gets in between them and moves them to their respective corners. Now that both competitors have entered the ring and are ready to compete, Javier exits the ring and the ref calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Perilmorde and Kaitlyn approach each other, Perilmorde with caution, and Kaitlyn without caution as she calmly walks up and the two engage in a lockup that Peril quickly transitions into a wristlock, but Kaitlyn twists the arm and goes behind Peril, now gaining control by wrenching Peril’s arm behind his back. Kaitlyn maintains a grip on Peril’s arm and turns him around while pushing him away, and before pulling him back and throwing him into the air for a Pop Up Spinebuster but Peril manages to leapfrog Kaitlyn and he retreats to the corner stunned!
Paisner: Kaitlyn almost got him with the G.I.A Spinebuster! That would have PLANTED Peril with the sudden elevation he got but somehow he was able to avoid a sudden end by landing behind Kait.
Woodbridge: Peril looks stunned that she pulled that out of nowhere, I’m sure a 10 second victory is what the recently underachieving Kaitlyn was hoping to get but she has a lot to go before she can put down her dangerous opponent.
Perilmorde has regained focus after a moment of recollection against the ropes, and now approaches Kait again as Kait now follows suit with her nonchalant approach before Peril now aggressively lunges and wraps his arms from behind Kait and is able to throw her with a German Suplex that folds her in half!
Crowd: OHHH!!!
Kait now tries to back up into the opposite corner to recollect herself but Perilmorde doesn’t let up and charges with a shoulder block to the gut into the corner! Peril launches a LOUD chop to the chest of Kaitlyn!
Crowd: WOO!!
And another!
Crowd: WOOOO!!
And ANOTHER!
Crowd: WOOOOOOO!!
But Kaitlyn blocks the next chop, grabs the arm, and pulls in Perilmorde with a Short-Arm Lariat! The crowd winces but then begins to stir and get loud as Kaitlyn climbs up to the top rope! She puts up a metal salute, and the crowd gets loud as she now balances herself, focuses on the grounded Perilmorde, and leaps forward but launches the rest of her body backwards into a Shooting Star Press! BUT PERIL GOT HIS KNEES UP!
Crowd: OOOHHHHH!!!
Peril now is up and grabs the legs of Kaitlyn but not to pin, as instead he flips Kaitlyn over and puts her in a Boston crab! Kaitlyn yells out in immediate pain from the submission being wrenched in! But she notices the nearby ropes and attempts to reach out, just within fingertips reach, and can’t quite extend her arm enough! Peril quickly tries to drag Kaitlyn to the middle of the ring while holding onto the legs, but Kaitlyn is able to power her legs and tuck her head under her body and reverse the hold so Perilmorde falls back onto his back and is now pinned by Kait’s legs! The ref drops down!
1!
2!
NO! Kickout!
Peril and Kaitlyn both roll away from each other and then are up to their feet, and Kaitlyn now dashes towards Perilmorde and swings with a wild lariat, but Perilmorde ducks it and is able to, in a one swift motion, hook Kaitlyn’s arm around his shoulders, and lift her legs attempting to drop her back into a suplex but when she is lifted she flips back and lands on her feet! Kaitlyn now backs up into the ropes and picks up speed, now coming off the ropes and Peril leapfrogs the charging Kait, who comes off the opposite ropes now and is almost met with a lifting knee, but Kait slides under the lifted leg of Peril, and speedily jumps up on the shoulders of Peril with a reverse hurricanrana position, but Peril grabs Kait’s legs and swings her around into a powerbomb position!
Perilmorde: KYRIE!...
Paisner: Alex Perilmorde has Kaitlyn in the position for a Kyrie Bomb! Dangerous place to be for Kaitlyn!
Perilmorde gets a running start, but Kait punches Perilmorde and pushes off the shoulders of Peril, lands on her feet, and as Peril turns around he is nailed with a spear!!!
Crowd: OHHHHHH!!!
Woodbridge: OUTTA NOWHERE!
Paisner: Kaitlyn charged with so much quickness but it took a lot out of her to muster that strength, as she now is on the ground next to Peril instead of going for the cover!
Kaitlyn is slowly making it to her feet, and she now sees the grounded Perilmorde and scrambles for the top of the rope again! She declines any theatrics as she comes off the ropes with a shooting star press through the air, but lands on her feet correctly anticipating the knees up again from Perilmorde and now kicks the side of Perilmorde repeatedly! Perilmorde is reeling on the canvass and eventually is against the ropes as Kaitlyn now picks him up by the head and picks him up to his feet! Kaitlyn kicks the midsection again of Perilmorde, but one more kick without her guard up and Peril grabs the leg and dragon whips Kaitlyn through the ropes and out of the ring!
Crowd: OHHH!
Woodbridge Kaitlyn landing on the ground on the outside with a thump! Perilmorde takes a moment to recover in the ring as the referee begins the count. Kaitlyn is also recovering on the outside from the sudden bump and is pulling herself up on the outside of the ring as the count reaches 8. By the time she has lifted herself up to the apron the count is 12 and Perilmorde now attempts to get out of the ring and grab her to bring her back in the ring. But Kaitlyn throws a right hand at Perilmorde! And another, before Peril launches a palm to the face of Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn launches a chop now to Perilmorde, and Perilmorde replies with a chop right back! Kaitlyn chops him back as the ref’s reset count reaches 6 and Peril spins and goes for a discus chop but Kaitlyn ducks and pushes Perilmorde up into the air and delivers a BRUTAL spinebuster on the outside of the ring!
Crowd OOOOHHHHHHHH! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Kaitlyn looks exhausted leaning against the ring, but Perilmorde is motionless in the ring as now the count of the referee reaches 11! Kait musters all shes got to roll under the ropes and get in the ring, and a count now reaches 13. It escalates to 14, 15, 16 and Perilmorde is still on the ground, but at 17 he finally moves a muscle but only in his right arm as he clutches at his head.The count reaches 18 now, and the crowd is getting louder and yelling at Perilmorde to get up to his feet but Perilmorde only is able to turn onto his stomach!
Woodbridge: He doesn’t have a clue where he is right now! Give It All from Kaitlyn left him absolutely flattened on the outside!
Perilmorde isn’t able to even get to his hands and knees by the count of 19 and the count reaches 20 as the ref rings for the bell.
DING DING DING
Crowd AWWWWW!
Javier: Your winner, at a time of 6:45, Kaitlyn Casey Jones!
The crowd cheers for Kaitlyn but is disappointed in the ending of the match, but Kaitlyn raises one arm into the air and the crowd cheers for her victory more decisively now.
Woodbridge: It wasn’t the longest match, but it was a swift display from two dangerous individuals of how strong and how capable of punishment the competitors of WiR are.
Paisner: Kaitlyn came fast and hard, and her desire to end the match paid off as she was able to incapacitate Perilmorde for the 20 count on the outside.
Perilmorde has finally came to but is visibly shaken from the impact of the spinebuster. He looks on at Kaitlyn, arm raised in victory, and runs his hands through his hair as he leans against the apron and catches his breath.
Paisner: Kaitlyn ends a recent streak of underachievement here, and Perilmorde unfortunately suffers another loss after his coming up short at Pyramid of Blood against Eddie Skelter. It has yet to be seen how the recently turned good Perilmorde will bounce back.
Woodbridge: There’s no doubt he will, but Kaitlyn came out tonight more determined and headstrong than we’ve seen in a minute. We’ll be back soon, folks.
COMMERCIAL
We return from break, as “Young Cardinals” by Alexisonfire loudly echoes throughout the McMorran Place and boos immediately follow in even louder volume.
Paisner: And there’s the sounds that signal the arrival of some of the most notorious troublemakers in the business. They failed to bring home any gold as a group at Pyramid of Blood, Joey failing his triple threat match for the Independent Championship and Alpha and Nova failing their tag team championship match.
Woodbridge: They definitely did not leave the night without making an impact however, as the WiR Championship Match was heavily interfered with near the end by damn near the entire roster it seemed, including The Young Cards.
Miles Alpha bursts out into the venue with vigor as he hand motions for the crowd to bring on the boos and the crowd obliges and boos them even louder. Alpha turns around only to notice Nova isn’t behind him, and a few seconds pass by before Dalidus Nova walks into the venue holding a half-empty box of local pizza in his hands as he nonchalantly saunters past Miles, looking around at the raucously booing crowd as if it were just another Monday. He begins walking to the ring, followed by Alpha.
Woodbridge: Well, he just doesn’t really seem to give a shit, huh?
Paisner: Not at all.
Alpha eventually outspeeds Nova’s walking pace and Miles jumps to the apron and jumps over the ropes, and he reaches over the opposite ropes and tells a ringside crew to give him 2 mics. Nova now reaches the apron and slowly rolls under, taking great care to keep the box of pizza off the ground as he now rises to his feet. Miles hands Nova a Mic in his free hand and Miles brings his own mic up to his mouth.
Miles: First of all, Joey is banged up right now, so unfortunately, we cannot bless you with his presence in this moment.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! FUCK THE CARDS! FUCK THE CARDS!
Miles: I know, I know, you hate the card this week because there’s no Miles or Nova in action. I do too, guys.
Crowd: BOOOOOO!!!!!
Miles: But I figured we owe y’all an explanation as to why The Young Cardinals would interfere in the world title match and come to the aid of Kyle and The Red Army.
Crowd: BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Nova now speaks up on the microphone, a mouthful of pizza obstructing his speech.
Nova: FFK U GFYS TFOO!!
Miles: Here’s the deal. As you can clearly tell, we weren’t the only group to form after our previous shows… incident. But what I can tell you is that we are the only group formed who stands for something true, something righteous and worthy.
Nova: THEF FFCKIN WORFKINF FCLAFSS, FBIFTCHES!!!!
Miles: The Working Class is damn right. We, perhaps better than anyone else in this company, understand the plight of the average man-
Crowd: BOOOOOOO! NO YOU DON’T! NO YOU DON’T! NO YOU DON’T!
Miles: And maybe the people would be more sympathetic if they understood what exactly we were able to get done at Pyramid of Blood. Thanks to us, us Working People have a champion that truly represents our struggle, our pain, and our hard hard work!
Nova: swallowing another bite of pizza Yea, Our Hard Work!!!
Crowd: BOOOOO!
Miles: Well, leave it up to Michigan to boo hard work.
Crowd: BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Dalidus hands the box over to Miles, who looks at the overly-greasy pizza with a hint of disgust. Nova finishes chewing, before raising the microphone.
Nova: Listen up, fucksticks, and look around you! Everywhere in this company, the authorities go out of their way to make life harder for people like Miles and I!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO!
Nova: It’s true! It’s true! We deserved a championship rematch against The Stargazers. Team against team, plain and simple. Y’know what we got?
Crowd: WHAT?
Nova: We got SCREWED! Paisner, this disgusting little freak who sees himself as the almighty god of pro wrestling, decided to put Fat Boy and Mason Suckers in our match! And you know what happened?
Crowd: WHAT?
Paisner: Jesus Christ…
Nova: THEY GOT PINNED! We lost our rightful chance at the titles because they lost! We would be the tag team champions right now if it weren’t for Paisner at the rest of the shitty shareholders in this equally shitty company!
Dalidus takes his pizza box back from Miles, as his compatriot begins to speak.
Miles: But it’s not just us! Kyle almost got screwed the exact same way! Why do you think Tyler Dylan, that insufferable little prick, got a shot at the world title? Because Paisner realized that Kyle is a threat to his authority, and decided that anyone, anyone would be a better little lapdog! He’s scared of us, plain and simple. And he SHOULD be, because he knows that we’re going to -
However, before Miles can finish his emphatic statement, Freaky Black Greetings hits the soundsystem!
Woodbridge: Is that…?
Paisner: It is. And for once, I couldn’t be happier.
Buster Braggadocio has arrived in a white suit with red accents, a pick in his hair and a microphone in hand, and a marker tucked behind his ear.
Buster: Would you Young Caucasians shut the HELL up?
Crowd: YEAAAA!!!!
Buster: Oh, you whiteys aren’t off the hook either, believe me. But let’s keep our eye on the prize.
Buster is now making his way towards the ring.
Buster: This company was ROBBED of a non-white champion at Pyramid of Blood! Robbed of our first Brown world champion in this White Supremacist company, because yet again, the fucking hWhite man had to colonialize, pillage, and SCREW over a BoC! That’s a Brotha of Colour, for those clueless white folx at home.
Buster now reaches the apron and hops onto it, turns to the crowd and puts up a black power fist, before turning back to the ring and entering through the second and third rope.
Nova: Woah, woah woah, maybe you didn’t understand what I just said, maybe you’re being an obtuse dickwad on purpose, but the Young Cardinals are the ones being screw-
Buster slaps the pizza box out of Nova’s hand and sends it flying into the crowd!
Crowd: OHHHH!!
submitted by youto2 to wrestlingisreddit [link] [comments]


2020.06.06 00:14 donedone2751 I couldn’t leave with writing you this.

Little bit of context i guess.. gf and I broke up after 9 months and I just can’t seem to move on so I decided to move and take a transfer for my job to Seattle. Wrote this letter to her and put it in the mailbox. I couldn’t hand it to her or I probably would have stayed.
First off where do I even start?? You came into my life April 19th and I truly don’t think I’ll ever forget that day. I asked you a simple question. What’s your favorite scary movie? You said “Freddy vs Jackson” lol! You was so damn innocent with it as well! July 16th. You finally gave me a chance. August 6th. First kiss. September 7th. Birthday party. October 15th. Trip to Florida. November 26th. First time meeting my family. December 25th. Christmas together. January 1st. You beat my ass in speed for a very long time. January 10. You let me take you to Pittsburgh. February 12th. Niagara Falls. April 19th. The talk..... May 17th. You told me you moved on and I finally realized I was truly in love with you bc someone else was making you happy and as dumb as it sounds I was happy you were happy. (Still am if I’m being honest). These dates are really good and some bad. I look back on our time together and honestly all I do is smile and laugh and cry and smile some more. I know it wasn’t a very long time but I was happy damn near everyday we was together. You changed my whole life in a span of 9 months. You turned me from someone who wouldn’t come out of their shell to someone that wanted to live life to the fullest with YOU. You really showed me how to love with all my heart. I think back and man did we work. I know we had our ups and downs but everyone does. I miss everything about you. I miss the way you smell. The way you would laugh. The way you would give me butterflies on a date. The way you could turn any moment into a good one. The way we could talk about anything. The way your eyes sparkle. The way your smile could light up the darkest times. Im really gonna miss seeing you everyday.
After we broke up I started to wish for other things. I wish you would have told me you missed me. Or i looked nice or that we could get lunch. Or even a txt in the middle of night. None of that happened lol and I started to wish / pray for other things. I prayed you would come back... i prayed you’d give us another chance... then one day i realized the stuff i was praying for wasn’t gonna happen so i started praying for you and your families safety. I prayed your man was treating you right. i prayed your dad would finish those damn puzzles. I prayed you learned how to love again bc you deserve it. I still pray for you and your family and WILL continue to in the future.
I stopped wishing for things after some time but I could never get you out my mind. i ALWAYS dreamt about you. It’s been months but I still find myself thinking of you all the time. I had one week were i felt like i had moved on and then I saw you the following week and looked into your eyes.... right back to square one lol. It was anytime I looked into those sparkling eyes... went from okay i might be there to square one..
The reason I’m leaving is truly for me. If I’m truly gonna move on from you I need to do this for me. I’m always gonna BE there for you. No matter what time of the day or night. If you need something I’ll always answer. If you ever need me I’ll be there in a heart beat.
THE last thing I really have to say is I hope you find that special someone. I truly do. You was mine and honestly it’s a feeling I’ll never forget. Time really flew by with you. Minutes felt like seconds. Hours felt like minutes and days just flew by. You truly are the only person I’ve really this way about.
I really hope ONE day we meet again in the future.
Thank you.
submitted by donedone2751 to heartbreak [link] [comments]


2020.05.19 16:40 colbster411 Throwback Write Up #9: Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y - How Fly

Artist - Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y

Mixtape - How Fly

Listen:

Spotify
Apple Music
YouTube

Background

Years before the superstardom of hits such as Black and Yellow or See You Again, Wiz Khalifa was signed to Rostrum Records and searching for his niche. The young Pittsburgh native released several mixtapes prior to 2009 which generally failed to impress but showed a lot of potential. He had a unique balance of old school, soulful hip-hop and a fun, youthful flair. I’m also sure it goes without saying that he really likes weed. Seriously. With clear influences in Bone Thugz & Harmony, Juicy J, and Snoop Dogg, Wiz would finally breakthrough in 2009 with the release of How Fly and begin one of the genre’s greatest mixtape runs (culminating in classics such as Kush & OJ and Taylor Allderice).
Fellow stoner Curren$y had also begun to make a name for himself down south. Following collaborations with Lil Wayne and a spot on the XXL Freshman List, the New Orleans native was following a similar trajectory to Wiz. With each gaining some prolificity in their lanes, their collaboration would convince the game that they had a place among the genre’s best.
All it takes is one look at the Cheech & Chong inspired cover art of this mixtape to know what you’re in for. Two of hip-hop’s most promising young MC’s and the game’s biggest stoners had teamed up to deliver 53 minutes of soulful, vintage weed raps with an aviation inspired theme. It contains terribly dated references to sports, video games, and more which give it a lot of character. Wiz and Curren$y also show vast knowledge and respect for the genre through countless interpolations and references to classics.
The production is old school smooth, with beats mostly provided by Big Chop, Sledgren, Monsta Beatz (a frequent Curren$y collaborator), and even a gem from DJ Hi-Tek to wrap it all up. The samples are varied and soulful, often sounding straight out of a 60’s movie soundtrack and remaining true to the aviation theme. It all feels like a victory lap by two kids who really hadn’t made it yet, but they were hungry, confident, and clearly on the way up.
This is an album that I’m sure many of you have a lot of nostalgia for. Whether it was cruising around town on a summer day, vibing with your girl, or obviously rolling one up, there was something for everyone. It was the soundtrack to so many peoples’ adolescence and defined a fun, unique era for hip-hop that the average kid could relate to (alongside artists such as Kid Cudi, Blu, and early Drake). Beyond that, this tape was arguably the crown jewel of the Blog Era and helped the two rise to fame in the early 10’s mixtape scene. I mean Wiz was pretty much the DatPiff poster boy for years.
Now I love Curren$y but I feel that Wiz really steals the show on this whole tape. His melodic flows, endearing lyrics, and memorable hooks are just so infectious. However, Spitta definitely holds his own and provides a more grounded, southern flavor (with consistently better bars even), which contrasts perfectly with Wiz’s huge energy. Their chemistry was really authentic, and they clearly had a lot of fun making this record. How Fly was a match made in heaven and one of my favorite projects ever, so I hope you all enjoy it!

Key Tracks

Car Service
Clear the runway, baby
It’s just an iconic opener. Wiz comes in with such infectious delivery which leads up to a subtle beat drop. His prolonged, melodic rhymes do a lot to add personality and the hook is an ear worm. Curren$y brings his signature, lazy southern style and a really impressive rhyme scheme. The beat has so many layers: a short, high pitched vocal sample from Smokey Robinson, subtle whistles, and horns. At the end of the hook, it all chops into a short loop that just culminates perfectly. This is easily one of my favorite intro tracks ever and it’s an absolute classic.
The Check Point
I never put my foot on the brake, oh no
This track has a very similar vibe to Car Service but that doesn’t do anything to detract from its quality. Another high vocal sample and triumphant tones fill the quota. Curren$y comes through with what might be his best performance on the tape here, with clever flexes and some unexpected references. Wiz’s singing on the hook is a bit grating, but the lyrics are still touching and make up for it to an extent. “The Check Point” emphasizes an important theme on this tape: Living without regrets and striving for your dreams. Their chemistry is palpable, and I feel like you can see yourself in them. The hunger, the laidback vibes, and youthful confidence come together to form something special throughout the tape.
Fly N----s Do Fly Things
We already a quarter pound in on this one
This beat has an interesting lo-fi quality to it and some really well done drums. They drive everything along nicely and have some subtle bounce. Wiz’s verse starts off a little bit clunky and off beat, but he quickly catches up and delivers well enough. Curren$y comes in with a simple but catchy and clever hook, continuing the album’s aviation themes. He also interpolates the staple hip-hop line, “On the road to riches and diamond rings” from both Biggie and Kanye. He has another strong verse, shouting out Wale and referencing the famous Hype Williams film Belly.
In the Middle
And I'm Fucking with the chronic ‘cause the chronic give me dopeness
Produced by Big Chop, this has to be the tape’s standout beat. Sharing a sample with Snoop Dogg’s “Who Am I” — albeit with far less distorted horns — it feels remarkably cinematic. It perfectly elicits the image of an old-school airport or even a campy spy movie. Spitta pays further homage to Snoop as he quotes his verse on “G’z Up Hoes Down”. Both come through with their typical subject matter and quality on here, as well as a hook interpolating Andre 3000 on “2 Dope Boyz”. Wiz and Curren$y are clearly students of the game with how much knowledge and respect for the culture they display on this tape. Something you might not have expected from two young, fun-loving stoners relatively new to the scene. The beat really steals the show on this track but both MC’s do well enough to not drag it down at all.
Layover
Just a dope pair of shoes, Zig Zags and hella tattoos
You’ve probably noticed a pattern by now: There’s nothing particularly profound or varied on this tape but it consistently delivers on its promise of fun, laidback tracks. “Layover” is no exception with its dreamy production and Wiz’s cheeky bars. What stands out on this track is their delivery as they intentionally break flow (Spitta at the end of his verse saying, “on a quest like Johnny and Hadgi” and Wiz separating the syllables of “octane”). While a small detail, this adds some subtle variety to a tape with relatively generic themes and structure while showing off their technical skills.
Drunk Dialing
Got these bitches slipping off their wedding rings
Now here’s a lighthearted, romantic track. The short, bouncy loop on the beat nicely evokes the image of a fun night on the town. Curren$y sets the scene of his player lifestyle, describing raiding his girl’s fridge, playing her son’s PS3, and brushing his teeth in the car. Wiz comes in with a really impressive flow and simple, but effective rhyme scheme. He presents a more luxurious twist on Curren$y’s verse as he speaks on his romantic life as a young star.
Friendly
We lighting reefer, bumping 808’s & Heartbreak
Another track for the ladies, “Friendly” is a perfect example of the pair’s chemistry. Curren$y shouting out Wiz’s hometown Steelers and references across their verses to Batman make it evident how fun and genuine their friendship is. The beat has a lot going on: Subtle details and the numerous layers give off a scenic, whimsical feeling, although some might find it a bit too busy. The hook is catchy but a bit grating with how distorted it is.
Surface to Air
Crumbling herb just as Big Boi and Andre would suggest
“Surface to Air” has a noir sound similar to “In the Middle” with its rolling, aquatic beat. Curren$y uses missiles as a metaphor for the two star’s meteoric rise to the top in rap while resisting the ills of the industry (“It’s amazing how I get so high and stay so down to Earth”).
Over the Building
Taylor Gang, they rolling up them paper planes
In contrast with “Surface to Air”, this track sees the two looking down on the game from their newfound star status. Taking aim at critics (“All them fools make is weed songs”), referencing paparazzi, and never looking back as they speed past the competition. This is another particularly strong beat with its light acoustic guitar and prominent drums.
Rollin’ Up
Billionaire clothes, out in Vegas fucking millionaire hoes / I’m in the air solo
A beautiful vocal sample of The Jaggerz’ “Memoirs of the Traveler” on this beat (courtesy of DJ Hi-Tek) makes “Rollin’ Up” the tape’s most essential smoking track. How Fly closes on a somewhat introspective note by Wiz and Spitta’s standards. Wiz discusses the loneliness of fame: Fake friends, women who don’t truly care about you, and memories of poverty. The two find relief in weed and each other’s companionship as they unapologetically commit to their journey and live life to the fullest.

Conclusion

How Fly isn’t just an album about getting high. It’s about staying true to yourself, forging connections, and chasing your dreams — Things that every listener should be able to relate to. For Wiz Khalifa and Curren$y, it was the start of a legendary run that thrust them into the spotlight. For many people, this project represents a special time in our lives. Youthful and carefree, it was the soundtrack to your high school smoke sessions, road trips, dumb love, and simpler times. Even if you’re just now listening, How Fly is mandatory listening for stoners, the backdrop to treasured memories, and the quintessential mixtape of its era.

Favorite Lyrics

Clear the runway baby
I get money from Sunday to Sunday lady
Oh behave I'm young, rich famous
Grinding, keep my pockets on Schwarzenegger
OG in my Swisher so my blunt taste flavored, don't it?
Y'all n----s can get if you want it
Wiz Khalifa, “Car Service”

But I don't do drugs, just weed
Caution flags wave, and fuck it I still speed
And proceed to give them what they waiting for
Daytona 500 guess who lighting joints up in the pace car
Play hard, but I work way harder to afford
Curren$y, “The Check Point”

Would it be cliché
To start my verse by saying something that I always say,
The Planes got it
I perfected my roll in the science of aeronautics
I swear on my soul I would never cosign no nonsense
Muscle car auction
I just cop it and then garage it
Curren$y, “Fly N----s Do Fly Things”

Yeah, 6 am chicks we slay them
Knowing favorite song picks we play them
I ain't on some “oh I'm just some big star shit”, but tell you I sure afford it
My lifestyle, all the visuals are gorgeous
Spend nights out couple bitches at the fortress…
Thinking which chick Imma Bruce Lee kick with
Wiz Khalifa, “Drunk Dialing”

Smoke filled rooms
Camera lens zoom, from a mile away you can smell the fumes
College girls play me in their iPod or Zune
Even bitches with bad attitudes bumping to our tunes
They high maintenance
Give ‘em wings let ‘em fly places
Introduce you to high times, flavors, and skyscrapers
Wiz Khalifa, “Surface to Air”

Discussion Questions

submitted by colbster411 to hiphopheads [link] [comments]


2020.04.05 07:52 sonic10158 I made a list of content from the current wave of Boxsets and whether DGM sells them [Part 2]

I made a list of content from the current wave of Boxsets and whether DGM sells them [Part 2]
This is the second half of my list of content from the various King Crimson box sets, as all in one list was too much for one post. You can find Part one of the list here.

THRAK BOX

THRAK BOX
After the end of their 1984 tour, Robert Fripp decided that he had played enough King Crimson and so once again, King Crimson saw a hiatus. However by the mid 1990's, Fripp decided to purchase the Double Trio season pass for King Crimson, which featured the Pat Mastelotto and the Trey Gunn DLCs to go along with the King Crimson lineup of the 1980s. This box set covers this relatively short era. The Box Set was released on October 30, 2015. WARNING: This set is a bit more confusing in terms of what is on DGM Live and What isn't, so I apologize for any confusion.
CD Content-
  1. JurassiKc THRAK - Not on DGM Live
    1. This is a disc containing one track that is 67 minutes long of recording sessions during the making of THRAK. There is a small 4 minute piece available on DGM Live, but that is such a small piece that I do not even consider JurassiKc THRAK as being on DGM Live.
  2. Maximum VROOOM - *Sort of Available on DGM Live*
    1. This is a disc that does not match up with anything DGM has to offer exactly. This is an expanded version of the VROOOM EP, which is on DGM Live for Purchase. However, the rest of the tracks are taken from the VROOOM Sessions album, which is also on DGM Live for Purchase. That being said, VROOOM Sessions has a lot of tracks that do not appear on Maximum VROOOM, nor this box set in any capacity.
  3. THRAK - Original mix (2002 Remaster)
  4. ATTAKcATHRAK (The Vicar's THRAK) - Not on DGM Live
    1. This is a spiritual successor to THRaKaTTaK. It is an all new compilation of improvisations taken from the THRAK era and edited together into a suite of tracks
  5. THRAK - 2015 mix
  6. Byte-Size THRAK - Only a small piece is on DGM Live
    1. This is a compilation of tracks that didn't really fit anywhere else, featuring various live tracks, a single, some edited tracks, a remix, and 3 rehearsals (Jimmy Bond, Sad Woman Jam, and Tony's Jam) that do appear in DGM Live as part of Nashville Rehearsals. If you purchase Nashville Rehearsals, similar with the VROOOM Sessions, you will be getting a lot of tracks that do not appear anywhere in this box set.
  7. Kcensington THRAK - Available on DGM Live Here
    1. The version on DGM Live is short one track, goes by a completely different name, and the way the tracks are laid out are a bit different. The box set has the first portion be 9 tracks and the second be 12 tracks, whereas on DGM Live, the first "disc" is 13 tracks and the second is 7 tracks. The song order is the same, minus the lack of Heartbeat between THRAK and Matte Kudasai. *Fun Fact, this concert takes place on Bill Bruford's Birthday, and Adrian Belew makes a point to sing about it in this concert*
  8. Kcensington THRAK - Second half of Disc 7's content
  9. New YorKc THRAK - Available on DGM Live Here
  10. New YorKc THRAK - Second Half of Disc 9's Content
  11. AzteKc THRAK - Not on DGM Live
  12. This is the entire setlist from the Mexico portion of the VROOOM VROOOM live album (the New YorKc THRAK discs are the complete setlist of the New York portion of it too). You can purchase a CD of VROOOM VROOOM on DGM USA and DGM UK, but the entire setlist is only available in this box set. Just note, if you purchase VROOOM VROOOM, you will only get roughly half of the content of AzteKc THRAK.
  13. AzteKc THRAK - Second Half of Disc 11's content
Blu-Ray Disc 1 Content
  1. THRaKaTTaK - Not on DGM Live
    1. This does not even have a store listing on DGM UK and the DGM USA page is listed as Sold Out. It does not appear under DGM Live as a digital purchase either.
  2. B'Boom - Not on DGM Live
    1. This is not available for digital purchase on DGM Live, and it does not even have a store listing on DGM UK. However the CD of it is available for purchase on DGM USA

Heaven & Earth

Heaven & Earth
To date, this is both the newest released Box Set as well as the most current box set, picking up where THRAK left off after King Crimson begun the fraKctalisation period in 1997 through the late 2000s. Here we see the ProjeKcts era as well as the ConstruKction of Light and The Power to Believe albums from King Crimson. This Box set was released on May 1, 2019 and has easily the most content of any of the box sets thus far.
Note: The ProjeKct album The Scarcity of Miracles was made after the time period of this box set (1997-2008) and therefore is not included in this set. Also, the first Blu-Ray disc has a mixing error causing certain albums to run at too fast a speed (noticeable, but not Alvin and the Chipmunk noticable), if you email DGM with proof of your purchase, they will send you a code to download replacements of all the affected content. Proof can either be a copy of the email you received from DGM when you purchased the boxset, or even a photograph of the boxset with your name next to it. I received my replacement content less than a week after emailing. The downloading worked the same way as if you purchase a tour from DGM Live.
CD Content-
  1. The ReConstruKction of Light - Not on DGM Live
    1. This is a new mix of The ConstruKction of Light featuring newly recorded drum tracks by Pat Mastelotto. If I could compare it to anything, it is like A Momentary Lapse of Reason remix from the Later Years box set by Pink Floyd that completely removed the 80's twang from it, making it a more timeless experience. It is not on DGM Live, however, you can purchase the CD on DGM UK or on DGM USA
  2. Happy With What You Have To Be Happy With / Level Five - Not on DGM Live
    1. Neither EP is available on DGM Live. HWWYHtbHW is not on DGM UK, but is on DGM USA. Level Five EP is also not on DGM UK, but is on DGM USA
  3. The Power to Believe
  4. ProjeKct Two Baltimore May 2, 1998 - Available on DGM Live Here
  5. ProjeKct Four San Francisco November 2, 1998 - Available on DGM Live Here*
    1. This is 2 tracks short of what DGM Live has. The concert is also on Blu-Ray disc 1 and features the whole setlist.
  6. ProjeKct Three Austin March 23, 1999 - Available on DGM Live Here
  7. King Crimson Live ConstruKction - Not on DGM Live
    1. Originally part of the video Eyes Wide Open DVD on DGM USA and DGM UK
  8. King Crimson Live ConstruKction - Second third of Disc 8 content
  9. King Crimson Live ConstruKction - Third third of Disc 8 content
  10. King Crimson San Diego August 15, 2001 - Available on DGM Live Here
  11. King Crimson New Haven December 9, 2001 - Available on DGM Live Here
  12. King Crimson New Haven December 9, 2001 - second half of Disc 12 content
  13. King Crimson EleKtriK, Live in Japan, 2003 - Not on DGM Live
  14. CD Not on DGM UK, but is on DGM USA
  15. King Crimson New Haven November 16, 2003 - Available on DGM Live Here
  16. King Crimson New Haven November 16, 2003 - Second half of Disc 15 content
  17. King Crimson New York August 14-17, 2008 - Not on DGM Live
  18. King Crimson New York August 14-17, 2008 - Second half of disc 17 content
Blu-ray Disc 1 Content *This is the disc with speed issues* - The ProjeKcts Vol. I
  1. ProjeKct One: December 1, 1997 The Jazz Cafe, London - Available on DGM Live Here
  2. ProjeKct One: December 2, 1997 The Jazz Cafe, London - Available on DGM Live Here
  3. ProjeKct One: December 3, 1997 The Jazz Cafe, London - Available on DGM Live Here
  4. ProjeKct One: December 4, 1997 The Jazz Cafe, London - Available on DGM Live Here
  5. ProjeKct Three: March 21, 1999 Electric Lounge, Austin - Available on DGM Live Here
  6. ProjeKct Three: March 22, 1999 Cactus Cafe, Austin - Available on DGM Live Here
  7. ProjeKct Three: March 23, 1999 Cactus Cafe, Austin - Available on DGM Live Here
  8. ProjeKct Three: March 24, 1999 Poor David's, Dallas - Available on DGM Live Here
  9. ProjeKct Three: March 25, 1999 Antone's, Austin - Not on DGM Live
  10. ProjeKct Four: October 23, 1998 Fox Theatre, Boulder - Available on DGM Live Here
  11. ProjeKct Four: October 24, 1998 Fox Theatre, Boulder - Available on DGM Live Here
  12. ProjeKct Four: October 27, 1998 Richard's on Richards, Vancouver - Available on DGM Live Here
  13. ProjeKct Four: October 28, 1998 The Fenix, Seattle - Available on DGM Live Here
  14. ProjeKct Four: October 30, 1998 Crystal Ballroom, Portland - Available on DGM Live Here
  15. ProjeKct Four: November 1, 1998 7th Note, San Francisco - Available on DGM Live Here
  16. ProjeKct Four: November 2, 1998 7th Note, San Francisco - Available on DGM Live Here
  17. ProjeKct Six: October 5, 2006 Berklee Performance Centre, Boston - Available on DGM Live Here
  18. ProjeKct Six: October 6, 2006 Nokia Theatre, New York - Available on DGM Live Here
  19. ProjeKct Six: October 7, 2006 Keswick Theatre, Glenside - Available on DGM Live Here
  20. ProjeKct Six: October 8, 2006 State Theatre, Falls Church - Available on DGM Live Here
  21. ProjeKct Two: Space Groove - Not on DGM Live
  22. CD available on DGM USA and DGM UK
  23. ProjeKct One: Live at the Jazz Cafe - Not on DGM Live
  24. Disc One of The ProjeKcts Box. Neither this nor the ProjeKct Box is on UK or USA DGM.
  25. ProjeKct Two: Live Groove - Not on DGM Live
  26. Disc Two of The ProjeKcts Box. Same as Disc 22.
  27. ProjeKct Three: Masque - Available on DGM Live Here
  28. Disc Three of The ProjeKcts Box. Same as Disc 22 and 23.
  29. ProjeKct Four: West Coast Live - Available on DGM Live Here
  30. Disc Four of The ProjeKcts Box. Same as discs 22-24
  31. ProjeKct One: Jazz Cafe Suite - Not on DGM Live
  32. CD sold out on DGM USA. Store page does not exist on DGM UK
  33. ProjeKct X: Heaven & Earth - Not on DGM Live
  34. CD on DGM USA. Not on DGM UK.
  35. BPM&M: XtraKcts & ArtifaKcts - Not on DGM Live
  36. Not on DGM USA nor DGM UK
  37. Rieflin, Fripp, Gunn: The Repercussions of Angelic Behaviour - Not on DGM Live
  38. Not on DGM USA nor DGM UK
Blu-Ray Disc 2 Content - The ProjeKcts Vol. II
  • Every portion of this disc is from ProjeKct Two
  1. February 18 & 19, 1998 Rehearsals, Studio Belew - Available on DGM Live Here
  2. February 20, 1998 The Cannery, Nashville - Available on DGM Live Here
  3. March 18, 1998 Ventura Theatre, Ventura - Available on DGM Live Here
  4. March 20, 1998 Palookaville, Santa Cruz - Available on DGM Live Here
  5. March 21, 1998 Great American Music Hall, San Francisco - Available on DGM Live Here
  6. March 22, 1998 Great American Music Hall, San Francisco - Available on DGM Live Here
  7. March 24, 1998 House of Blues, Los Angeles - Available on DGM Live Here
  8. April 7, 1998 Diamond Hall, Nagoya - Available on DGM Live Here
  9. April 8, 1998 Heart Beat, Osaka - Available on DGM Live Here
  10. April 9, 1998 Blitz, Tokyo - Available on DGM Live Here
  11. April 10, 1998 Blitz, Tokyo - Available on DGM Live Here
  12. April 16, 1998 The Jazz Club, London - Available on DGM Live Here
  13. April 18, 1998 Ronnie Scott's, Birmingham - Available on DGM Live Here
  14. April 19, 1998 Ronnie Scott's , Birmingham - Available on DGM Live Here
  15. May 1, 1998 9.30 Club, Washington D.C. - Available on DGM Live Here
  16. May 3, 1998 Ballroom at the Bellevue, Philadelphia - Available on DGM Live Here
  17. May 4, 1998 Toad's Place, New Haven - Available on DGM Live Here
  18. May 6, 1998 Irving Plaza, New York - Available on DGM Live Here
  19. May 7, 1998 Irving Plaza, New York - Available on DGM Live Here
  20. May 8, 1998 Valentine's, Albany - Available on DGM Live Here
  21. May 9, 1998 Inter-Media Arts Centre, Huntington - Available on DGM Live Here
  22. May 30, 1998 Bogart's, Cincinatti - Available on DGM Live Here
  23. May 31, 1998 Newport Music Hall, Columbus - Available on DGM Live Here
  24. June 1, 1998 I.C. Light Music Tent, Pittsburgh - Available on DGM Live Here
  25. June 2, 1998 Odeon, Cleveland - Available on DGM Live Here
  26. June 4, 1998 Park West, Chicago - Available on DGM Live Here
  27. June 5, 1998 Park West, Chicago - Available on DGM Live Here
  28. June 7, 1998 Majestic Theatre, Detroit - Available on DGM Live Here
  29. June 28, 1998 Somerville Theatre, Somerville - Available on DGM Live Here
  30. June 30, 1998 Old Lantern, Charlotte - Available on DGM Live Here
  31. July 1, 1998 Pearl Streetm Northampton - Available on DGM Live Here
  32. July 3, 1998 The Stephen Talkhouse, Amagansett - Available on DGM Live Here
  33. July 6, 1998 The Guvernment, Toronto - Available on DGM Live Here
  34. July 8, 1998 Metropolis, Montreal - Available on DGM Live Here
Blu-Ray Disc 3 Content
  1. Live at the Shepherd's Bush Empire, London, July 3, 2000 - Available on DGM Live Here
  2. EleKtriK, Live at Kouseinenkin Kaikan, Tokyo April 16, 2003 - Not on DGM Live
    1. Same as CD Disc 13, but with 2 additional tracks (The ConstruKction of Light and The Deception of the Thrush). This version is exclusive to Heaven & Earth.
submitted by sonic10158 to KingCrimson [link] [comments]


2020.04.02 15:55 tacobell_enthusiast_ [RF] Liberal Arts

Francis walks like he knows exactly where he’s going, even though he’s in foreign territory. He strolls into the room, and pauses. He’s not alone, there’s another girl already waiting. She looks up from her phone, holding his gaze. It’s more than just a casual glance. A few seconds pass, and they size each other up. He looks away, and walks over to a tiny table where a stack of dilapidated magazines sits. Nothing interests him, and he looks back at the girl, she’s still staring, and she looks down at her shoes when their eyes meet again. She looks worried, but she wears a faint smile now. It’s enough for him, he sits down near her, and decides that he’s going to say something. This is the worst possible situation, and nothing comes to him. No funny observation. No witty remark. He goes for the first thing that comes to mind.
“What are you doing here?” Francis asks.
“Getting help,” She replies.
They’re sitting outside the therapist’s office at Carlow University. It’s perched in an office building overlooking Pittsburgh’s Fifth Avenue and the cars below inch at a crawl, working their way homewards - wherever that may be. Cheesy posters extolling “Teamwork,” “Dialogue!”, “Go Celtics!”, cling to the wall, there’s a bookcase stuffed with self-help and psychology textbooks. It stinks like Glade and Clorox baby wipes.
“You look like the last person that needs help.” Francis says.
“Really?” She breaks into a smile, choking back the tears that have been threatening for the past half hour, the worry haunting her expression disappears - it’s like the sun after a storm, and Francis senses that she’s someone special.
“Really. I’m fine too. But I need a cigarette. I don’t even smoke. I only smoke when I’m drunk.”
“I smoke.” She smiles.
“No way.”
She reaches for a pack in her purse. Marlboro Reds.
“No shit. Cowboy killers?” Francis smirks. “You smoke cowboy killers?”
“I usually smoke Gitanes. You say, cowboy killer?” The words form awkwardly - hesitantly, it dawns on Francis that English isn’t her first language. He swears she’s Italian.
“Are you Italian?” He asks.
She tosses her head back in laughter, the black hair tucked behind her ear comes loose and falls across her cheek. It’s almost too much and a stray tear trickles from her eye.
“Are you alright?” Francis is stupefied, raising a brow and leaning forward.
“No.” She shakes her head. “Or else I’d be somewhere else right now. Maybe a beach. Maybe in bed. My life is finished.”
“Same. I’m breaking up with my girlfriend and she said she was going to kill herself. It’s insane. My Pap told me to go talk to someone about it.” He blurts the statement thoughtlessly, and he looks away for a moment when he realizes it – he’s stressed and the cracks are showing.
“Do you want to kill yourself too?”
“No, not at all. She’s the one who needs to see someone. I’m basically going to the therapist for her, just to get advice. We’ve known each other since we were thirteen and my Pap is best friends with her parents. She’s basically his adopted granddaughter. He says he’ll quit paying for both my car and health insurance if I don’t stay with her. So here we are.”
Francis feels compelled to explain himself after sharing his initial revelation. He’s never seen a therapist, and he’s faltering – he doesn’t think it’s going to solve anything. Francis decides to open up to this girl, a total stranger. His words are honest, without the fear of judgement that comes with full disclosure to someone he knows well. He’s seen her around campus before, she was in one of his classes, but they never had a chance to talk. It’s strange, he still remembers the fun fact she shared on the first day. “My favorite band is the Rolling Stones.” It stuck with him, that’s his favorite band too.
“That’s sad about your girlfriend, but it’s funny that your Pap is uh, bullying you.” She smiles.
“Maybe.” Francis laughs. “What brings you here again?”
“I don’t know,” she says, brushing a strand of hair from her cheek.
“So, you’re just here for fun?”
“No! I actually broke up with my girlfriend too.” She laughs nervously, and freezes for a moment in anxiety – a crooked smile on her face.
“No shit.” Francis stares. She possesses a rare, imperfect beauty, and makes no attempt to mask her flaws. Dating another girl at this school is enough to make her a pariah. Carlow is a private, Catholic University located a block away from the University of Pittsburgh. The school is an afterthought, obscure to some even in Pittsburgh. There’s a convent on campus, and the social life is dead - if you go to a party, chances are it’s up the road at Pitt.
“It’s not as you think. I like men, but women too. The whole thing was a mistake. That’s why I’m here.”
“How do you accidentally date another girl?”
“It was just to, as you say, try it out, for fun, but she was too serious. I’m here abroad, I’m only here for one semester. She twisted me, as you say, um, I can’t think of the word. I just want to go home, if I even have one.”
“She screwed you?” Francis says. Picturing her going all the way with another girl floors him - it takes her to the edge, and that’s something he likes in a girl, that ability to break the mold and step outside the boundaries, to see something and pursue it. He lives life the same way.
“Yeah, um, she’s going to tell my father that we had the fling, she may have already. She’s a friend of the family, and she’s living here in Pittsburgh with a host and I stayed for one semester.” An ambulance speeds past on the street below, they glance out the window behind them. Two hospitals are located a block away from Carlow, and the sound of a meat-wagon howling past is usually enough to scare Francis awake during his lectures. Muffled conversation drifts from behind the closed door nearby. “That’s why I’m so upset. Because I will be uh, de-owned by my father.”
“You’re French, aren’t you?” Francis finally places the accent.
“Yes! But Italy is only a few miles away from where I live. That’s why I sound Italian. I live near Nice and Monaco.”
They gaze at each other. He feels it, there’s a connection.
“You’re something.” Francis sits for a moment and comes to a sudden decision. He needs a change, he’s desperate for it – he’s spent the last seven years in a relationship with the same girl, and he isn’t satisfied. This girl’s looks are captivating, with a unique, Mediterranean quality, stunning, and carefully refined. He risks it. “Listen, I’m a psych major. I bet you the guy behind that door is an asshole. Let’s go outside, and we could smoke a couple of those cowboy killers and talk this all out. I bet we’ll both get a lot more out of it. Besides, I’ve never met anyone from Monaco. I’m Francis by the way.” He offers his hand.
She takes it. “I’m Fae.” She pauses, considering the idea. “Let’s go.”
She stands and picks up her purse, she doesn’t think twice. Sometimes you meet someone, and once it happens you can’t un-see it.
“Allo!”
Fae plops into the passenger seat of the Hyundai. Through the gloom Francis can see she’s wearing one of those black, quilted jackets that reach down to the knee, black skin-tight jeans that are frayed on the thighs exposing the right amount of skin, and black Vans with the laces tied neatly. Her black hair reaches just below her shoulders, and she parts it down the middle, tucking half behind her left ear and the rest falling across her face - it’s like she’s hiding, her right eye covered, but she smiles, and her hazel eyes light up as they meet Francis’s gaze. For once he can’t find the words.
“You look great.” Francis says as she pulls the door shut behind her. The anxiety she had yesterday has disappeared. There’s something distinct in her movement, she makes the simple act of getting in the car seem smooth, effortless - sexy even. Francis is excited for tonight, but his mouth is dry and his heart is thumping, he just got off the phone with Allie - his girlfriend. He grilled her about her ‘suicidal ideations,’ and she admitted her bluff – this isn’t the first time Francis has threatened to end the relationship, and this isn’t the first time she’s responded with hysterics. “You couldn’t survive without me!” She screamed, her words still ringing in his ear. Just watch me, he told her. Just watch.
Rain patters on the windshield, and the tiny four-liter engine hums patiently as the car idles. Francis’s battered, six-year-old iPod is plugged into the sound system, and music from The Walkmen’s album ‘Lisbon’ plays low in the background.
Merci, et tu, and you I mean.” She laughs, “Sometimes I say things in French and don’t even realize, I hope you don’t mind.”
“I’ll get used to it.” Francis says as they pull away from the posh mansion in Pittsburgh’s Shadyside neighborhood where Fae has been staying. “How’s Katrine?”
“She won’t speak to me. Must we? Let’s talk about music, I’m so glad we have a common passion.”
“I’m glad too. I don’t know many girls who play the guitar.”
“Or are so good at photography.” She smiles – it’s white, perfect, framed by two shallow dimples. The car is sterile, he cleaned it earlier, emptying a half a bottle of Febreeze in the process, he is embarrassed by the huge coffee stain on the passenger side floor where Fae’s feet are now resting. Allie never cared, but Fae is immaculate and he prays she doesn’t notice.
“Photography?” Francis says, considering her statement as they make their way through the traffic on Penn Avenue, they’re hitting the back end of rush hour, and Francis tries to hone his focus as he splits his attention between Fae and the maze on the road. It’s dark, December – the rain picks up, tapping insistently on the Hyundai’s roof. The semester is almost over, and it’s reading week at Carlow. What Francis doesn’t know is that Fae has failed almost every one of her classes, she’s studying sociology, but the American classes don’t translate well to what she learned in the French system. Surprisingly, she finds the courses more rigorous in America. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do next. Francis is on track to make the dean’s list again, despite all the nights in the South Side.
“The picture I sent?” Fae says.
“Oh, yeah.” That photography. He smiles. They texted for hours after they parted ways the previous afternoon. They discussed their love of music mostly, but it didn’t take long until the conversation turned to romance. Francis eventually asked Fae what she looks for in a potential lover. She answered honestly – she wants confidence and sincerity, and she responded with the same question. Francis told her he wants loyalty and honesty. They made plans to meet up for what was essentially a date. It reached a point where Francis thought the conversation was over, until Fae sent a text that caught him off guard entirely. “Do you know how to French kiss, or am I going to have to teach you?” Francis wondered how far things would go. The next morning, he woke up to it – Fae striking a seductive pose in a mirror, in nothing but her black underwear. “That was nice.”
“I knew you’d like it.”
“I did.”
“I was expecting something in return.” There’s a playful glint in her eye.
“Sorry, I’ve only known you for twenty-four hours. I’m a prude.”
“No fun.” She says and faux frowns.
“I didn’t think you were that type.”
She throws her head back, and laughs. “I’m French!”
He laughs too now. It’s ridiculous, she’s the first French girl he’s ever met, and she has him hooked.
Francis parks near the door. The mall looms in the distance across the parking lot, illuminated by the soft yellow sodium bulbs of the street lights. The new movie theater juts out like a sore thumb, tacked on a couple years earlier. It looks like a sinking ship, and the rain is starting the gradual transition to snow. Francis catches a glimpse of himself in the car window, and meditates upon his reflection. His hair is black, cut short and styled with Garnier Fructis hair gel that sticks to the fingers and smells like a rotten fruit smoothie - it’s unpleasant, but it gets the job done. His clothes are understated yet suave, and Francis looks like someone you’d see within the pages of Vanity Fair magazine – cool, debonair, but grittier and more driven. His eyes are a grey-blue, placid, thoughtful, girls always remarking upon them, “You have such nice eyes Francis,” and he just brushes it off like always because of Allie. Francis is good-natured, and he knows it. He’s never had trouble getting along with other people, and he senses that in Fae – they’re extroverted, maybe even a little cocky.
The snow is sticking to their hair in white specks and making the ground slick. Francis’s leather jacket is too thin and he shivers. The red sign tacked to the side of the strip mall reads “Guitar Center” except some of the bulbs are out so it’s “Gut Center.”
“This place is the Walmart of guitar shops,” Francis says clicking the key fob and locking his Sonata.
“How so?” Fae asks.
“You’ll see what I mean.” Francis hasn’t mentioned that he comes here with Allie sometimes out of boredom, and they’d spend an hour or two playing every guitar and the drums, and sometimes the keyboards too. They’d leave after purchasing a pack of picks or some strings because they felt bad for disturbing the peace in the otherwise empty store. Francis had noticed at some point that they never seemed to sell the guitars, you’d come back a month or two later and there’d still be that Fender Duo-Sonic hanging from the wall, biding its time until the right player comes along.
“The weather was so nice yesterday. What happened?” Fae says as they cross the parking lot and head toward the door.
Yesterday, Fae and Francis went outside into the brisk December air on the tiny commons at Carlow University, and smoked a few Marlboros and chatted for about an hour. Fae was full of stories about her relationship with Katrine, who was the daughter of Fae’s father’s best friend. It was physical, and nothing else as she claimed, but Katrine had genuine feelings for Fae which weren’t reciprocated. Fae told Francis repeatedly that her only intention with Katrine was to experiment sexually. After a while, she asked Francis about his girlfriend. Francis realized he didn’t want to talk about Allie, but he was honest. He said he wanted to end things. “I don’t love her anymore.” He said, and he was lying. He still does, but she is smothering him - scaring the shit out of him at the same time.
Just think, if we get married, we’ll be buried together.” She had said. Allie haunts him. Over the summer, one of her cousins exchanged vows with a man she’d only known for three years. Afterwards, she fixated on the idea of marriage. “I’m ready whenever you are.” She brought it up constantly, and he played it off as best he could. Things finally came to a head, and one night she laid bare the terms of her love, and exposed just how deep it went – she’s obsessed with him. It terrified Francis, and he pushed her away, he went a week without speaking to her. That’s when things blew up. Francis loves Allie, but their relationship is like a burning building ready to collapse. On the other hand, the prospect of throwing away seven years of commitment to her gnaws on Francis – it undercuts his willingness to rush into things with Fae. The mere thought of Allie with another man is enough to incite feelings of heated jealousy. Tonight however, he pushes aside his misgivings, and focuses on Fae – she’s like a breath of fresh air.
“Do you know those guys?” Francis gestures towards the windows. Giant posters of Cobain, Lennon, and Clapton look on from behind the huge black panes, tonight Francis wishes they could speak. He trusts them – Kurt and Courtney, John and Yoko, Eric and Pattie. What would they say about Fae? And then he reconsiders, some of those relationships didn’t exactly goes as planned.
“Of course, I know those guys!” Fae gives Francis a playful shove. They hit it off yesterday, and this was agreed as just a short stop before dinner today, Friday. It was Francis’s idea after Fae mentioned she had played for years.
Francis holds the door for Fae.
“Merci!” She says as she steps through. They’re on the same wave length tonight, and there’s a palpable sense of attraction even when they aren’t talking - the way Francis keeps catching her gazing at him when she thinks he isn’t looking. Francis already knows from the short time they’ve spent together that Fae and Allie are the same type - outgoing, yet mysterious in some ways. When you look past her flaws, Allie is a girl of matchless beauty, but Fae is already proving herself.
Fae all but gasps when she sees the carousel of amplifiers, and the rows of mint-condition guitars waiting to make music. They make their way to the wall of instruments, the warmth of the indoors leading them to unzip their jackets. Fae is wearing a blue sweater over a white blouse, and something about the way the neatly buttoned collar of her shirt peeks above the neck line of her sweater looks distinctly French.
“Didn’t you say earlier you have a Fender Jaguar at home?” Francis asks.
“Oui, il est douane… uh custom. It has an uh, hum-bucker in the uh,” She makes a gesture.
“The bridge? That’s cool, and you like the Stones, right?”
“Oui! I love the Rolling Stones! I like Serge Gainsbourg too especially! Any rock!”
They edge closer to the wall, scanning for the right guitar.
“Oh, here is a Jaguar!” Fae spots a red Squier model and plucks it from its wall hanger. “It’s a poor man Jaguar but still the same.” She’s beaming.
“Have you ever played a Tele?” Francis reaches and pulls down a sunburst Fender Telecaster. Fae steps forward to examine the guitar, and is standing only inches away from Francis now, and she keeps brushing against him, he gets the sense it isn’t accidental.
“Yes! But I do not own one sadly. Just my Jaguar and my Stratocaster, and my acoustic.”
They plug into a couple of Marshall amps and noodle a bit. Francis knows instantly that Fae is lightyears ahead in her playing. She runs down an impressive jazz scale and plays a melodic chord progression he’s never heard. Francis is good, but not this good.
“You’ve been playing how long exactly?”
“Since I had four years! Guitar and football are my true passions!”
“Soccer?” “Yes! Football! I played at my university in France until, I, uh,” her bright mood dims, “until I tore my knee. Now I can’t ever again.” She rocks on the stool, her hair falling in her face.
“I’m sorry. It sounds weird, but at least you can play guitar for your whole life. That’s something I like to tell myself,”
“I never thought that!” She says. She smiles.
Francis plays a riff on his telecaster. “Do you know this?”
“Of course!” She responds with the serpentine rhythm part, they play for a few seconds and Fae starts to sing, quietly at first, and then more confidently.
“I can’t get no, sat-is-fac-tion, I can’t get no sat-is-fac-tion!” Her accent disappears as she sings, her voice ringing true, confident - resonant. Francis is thrilled, they play the whole song, she knows every word. They lock into each other’s groove, forgetting everything else, their problems fading into the music. They finish, and Fae finishes by flashing through a blues scale, concluding in a flourish.
Francis nods his head, playing it cool, trying to mask how ecstatic he is. “That was neat.”
“Neat?” Fae tosses her head back into that infectious laughter, and Francis watches with concern as Fae laughs, and laughs - she can’t stop. Fae has an absolute fit of laughter, and when she finally does stop, Francis notices that she’s drooling. His expression shows an edge of concern. She slowly wipes her face after finally coming to her senses. Francis job-shadowed at Western Psychiatric last summer, and he saw patients that acted just like this. It dawns on him that he met her at the therapist’s office. If it was anyone else Francis would run, and fast, but he’s in too deep now. He’s blinded, not only by the fact she’s gorgeous, but by the depth of their rapport – they give off the same vibe, they have the same personality. Not only is she ‘trop sexy’ as they would say in Nice, but she’s better than Francis at something, he’s used to being the best at most things, and he appreciates the occasions when he isn’t.
They pause, and lock eyes, neither looks away, and they’re both smiling. Fae is composed now. Francis leans forward and puts a hand on her knee.
“That wasn’t neat, that was amazing.”
“Thank you! I had a sudden idea, we are so good together, that we should start a band!” Fae remarks suddenly.
“We just met!”
“I know, but it would work! And I like you, a little too much I think!”
“I like you too.” Francis says. Then the quip about the band hits him – Allie is a superb drummer, he’s more than proficient on the bass, and Fae is clearly a gifted guitarist. Something clicks in his head. Maybe I don’t have to get rid of Allie after all, maybe we can learn to simply be friends. Maybe we can all coexist. He knows that if he got Fae and Allie together, they would click.
“What’s dating like in France?” Francis asks after they’ve been seated at Mad Mex. It’s a yuppie Cali-Mex restaurant exclusive to Pittsburgh where you can order a big azz margarita or seasonal burritos. Chili lights are strung from the ceiling and indie rock blares from the stereo, cubist graffiti art reminiscent of Picasso adorns the walls. Hipsters seriously dig the place, and Francis knows that’s exactly what he and Fae are. Not the casual sort who buy a vinyl Beatles LP from a thrift shop and let it gather dust in the corner of their dorm room – they’re the militant type who can quote Neutral Milk Hotel and tell you every type of guitar Lou Reed owned while he was with the Velvet Underground.
She collects her thoughts before answering the question. “Nothing like in America, much different. In France, it is much easier for guys and girls to be friends. Here it is uh, like if you’re not dating, or uh, if you’re not doing sex, then what’s the point? And when you do become exclusive in France, there is not so much possession. It is common to see a married woman go out with her married friend who is a man, and they are that, just friends, and nothing more. Contrary to popular ideas, I feel that French women are more conservative than those in America, because once she is exclusive she is loyal to a point of her honor.”
“That picture you sent me wasn’t very conservative.” Francis smirks. The lights are dimmed low, and Fae has a radiant, soulful look. There’s a spark in her eyes, she’s full of life and excitement. They have each other’s undivided attention.
“That was just me saying, ‘I’m interested.’” Fae explains. As the night has worn on Francis notices she is very touchy, very flirty. He likes it. He tries to ignore the thought, but she’s a more sophisticated, more attractive version of Allie. Even though Fae has an accent, it almost feels like he’s talking to Allie sometimes, they’re both very cool and easygoing. And then that remark hits him. I’m interested.
“That’s one of way of getting that across.” They laugh, and Fae leans forward with intent, rests her elbows on the table and cradles her chin in the palms of her hands. Francis can’t take his eyes off her, and he takes a moment to appreciate her. She doesn’t look like an American girl, and there’s an intangible sense that she’s European, even if he didn’t know already he could guess.
“You’re really tan for December.”
“My mother was Algerian,” Fae says.
“That’s interesting, do you think she’ll care when she finds out about you and Katrine?”
“Well, my mother is dead, Francis.” Fae looks down at the table, for a second he thinks he’s killed the vibe.
The waitress appears - she’s young, college age, and her arm is emblazoned with a full sleeve of colorful, floral tattoos. She takes their drink orders. Francis orders a Corona, and Fae asks for an expensive glass of wine. They both have fake IDs, and the server scrutinizes Fae’s heavily before letting it slide. She walks off.
“I’m sorry about your mother. That’s one more thing we have in common.” Francis says.
“What do you mean?”
“My parents died in a car accident when I was thirteen. That’s why I live with my Pap.”
The words hang heavy between them, and it’s terrible, but Francis feels a deeper sense of connection to her. He carries the weight every day, and usually waits a long time to tell people - until he can be sure that they won’t try to patronize him with half-hearted pity. Fae looks away. A group of yuppies sitting at the bar burst into raucous laughter.
“So, you know how it is?” Fae says, she stares off into the distance with a wounded expression.
“All too well.”
Neither has the words.
“Where’d you get your fake?” Francis says, changing the subject, they need to get off this. He wants things to go back to how they were just a minute ago, when it felt like everything was coming together.
“A website. I’d go insane if I couldn’t drink here.”
“I thought the waitress was going to take it.”
“As did I. The picture looks nothing like me.”
“Neither does mine. But it scans so I can go down Carson Street.”
“Lucky.” The drinks come and Francis squeezes the lime into the Corona bottle and Fae sips on her wine. They enjoy each other’s company for a few moments in silence.
“I just thought of something, Francis,” Fae remarks.
“Yeah?” “You’re more French than you realize.” Francis laughs. “How?” “Your way of acting. You are uh, laid back, yet confident, too many American men are inconsiderate.”
“I like the comparison, but you haven’t seen me around my friends,” he considers her statement, and adds, “you’re definitely not like other girls I know.” Francis says.
“How?” She laughs.
Francis pauses and chooses his words, he smiles. “You have a spark. You have this energy that’s fun to be around. Most girls I know these days don’t have that.”
“Really?” She laughs, her smile is unequaled, and the way she holds her expression is subtly seductive – it’s airy and inviting. “Anyways, what is your uh, situation, with your girlfriend, I feel you haven’t fully explained to me yet.”
“With Allie?” He doesn’t want to talk about her, he’s skirted around the subject so far. “We’re still dating technically.” He says. He feels stupid. The breakup isn’t official yet, and he doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he’s in the act of cheating right now. The fact troubles him, and the thought of letting Allie go for good ties his stomach in a knot. The unforgettable impression Fae has made so far complicates his feelings. Somehow, he wishes it was possible to have them both.
“Oh.” She says. Fae looks frustrated, and she purses her lips.
“I’m trying to end it, but the weird thing is, I think if you and Allie met, you’d really like each other.”
“That’s a funny thought.” Fae is playing with her hands, her hair falling from behind her ear. “The truth is, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t feel something, I can’t describe it, but when we met yesterday, I wanted to get to know you. I know I sound crazy, but sometimes you just look at someone, and you feel something, you can’t describe why or how, you just know it’s happening. When we played music tonight Francis, I felt like we were in unison, the same. I wish we could have that feeling all the time.” She says.
Francis contemplates her words. She can feel it too then. He thinks she’s incredible. “How long are you in America?” He asks.
“Just until the new year,” She responds absently.
“Fae,” He hesitates. “We might be rushing things. We just met yesterday, and now we’re having dinner together. I don’t know about you, but I don’t care. It’s like this was all supposed to happen.” Francis takes a long sip from his Corona.
“Like fate?” She leans forward, her hazel eyes alive, warm.
“Yeah. Like fate. And if you’re leaving soon, we’ll have to make the most of it.”
Steph returns and asks if they’re ready to order. They’ve been caught up in each other and have forgotten entirely to look at the menu. Francis asks her to come back, and they quickly decide upon their orders while she’s gone. It hits him how hungry he is – the scent of Mexican cooking wafting around the restaurant – the tantalizing prospect of a spicy burrito.
“Not to bring up a shitty subject, but will your father really care that much when he finds out about Katrine? It’s almost 2013, if you want to try dating another girl I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“He will because he is very conservative, and, um, because I am nobility, and it is unacceptable for me to have relations with a girl.”
“What do you mean by nobility?”
“Whenever my father is gone I will be the Countess de Menton.”
Francis blinks. He doesn’t know what to make of it, but he’s intrigued. “You’re a countess?”
“The French government recognizes the fact that you are a marquis or what have you, but it’s meaningless mostly. Usually it just says that you come from an old family with a lot of money.” Fae explains.
“Is that true about you?”
She’s hesitant, Fae looks down and takes a breath. “I won’t tell you how much money I have. I feel that if you think I’m wealthy it will change things between us.” She pauses again, and Francis guesses that she doesn’t want to say too much. “But I will tell you that through my father, you can trace my bloodline back to the time of the crusades.”
Francis can’t wrap his head around the notion, but he puts two and two together. Her outfit probably cost a few hundred dollars, she just ordered a twelve-dollar glass of wine, and as subtle as it is, she comes across as somewhat arrogant, even though he can tell she’s at her most vulnerable. He doesn’t doubt her claim that she’s a countess, it makes sense. It dawns on him how high-class she is. Francis wavers, he leans back in his seat and runs a hand through his hair. He feels like he’s finally met his match, and he can’t shake the feeling that they’re developing genuine feelings for each other - it’s undeniable. He knows he’s diving headlong into things with this girl. At best, they have a brief fling, she goes home, and he never sees her again, but the way it seems now, there’s something genuine happening, and the last thing he wants is to hurt her.
Fae’s iPhone is laying on the table and buzzes to life. She reaches for it, reads the screen, and considers what she has just read. She sets the phone down, and then she bursts into laughter -it’s worse than before. She can’t stop, it’s manic, uncontrollable and she laughs until she can’t breathe, tears pouring down her face, and when she can’t laugh anymore she starts to cry. She covers her face with her hand, her whole body wracked with sobs.
“Fae!” He’s shaken. She is incredible, yet here she is having a nervous breakdown. He’s seen it before with Allie - she has her own issues. She continues. “Fae!” He repeats louder. She looks at him and gasps, her tears abate momentarily.
“Let’s go outside. You need some air. Trust me.” They stare at each other. “Trust me.”
“Oui.” They stand and walk through the mostly empty restaurant past the waitress.
“We’ll be right back.” Francis says as he leads Fae past the bar and outside through the porch and the iron gate that opens onto the parking lot. They’re on the sidewalk now, and Fae wraps her arms around Francis and buries her face in his chest and sobs, and he just hugs her as close as he can and lets her cry. There’s nothing else he can do. Snow flurries flutter through the air and his breath billows in white clouds. He closes his eyes. It’s been one day, and they’re virtual strangers. This is insane. She cries for a little while longer before going silent, and still they embrace.
“Want to talk about it?” he asks.
Mon pere.” She can’t find the words. “My father, he texts me, he says, I had a conversation with Katrine’s father, about the sickening things you’ve done.” She collects herself. “He says, don’t come home. You are on your own.”
Francis grits his teeth and pulls her closer.
“I’m sorry.” He doesn’t know what else to say.
“I didn’t want to go home anyways. I hate home… and I can’t go back to my host. Katrine is there. I have nowhere.”
Francis speaks without consideration – he goes all in. “You can stay with me. I live at home with my Pap in Regent Square. We have a guest room, and you can stay as long as it takes for you to get things figured out. I promise.”
Merci. Merci beaucoup Francis.” She releases him, takes a step back, and smiles. It’s the first time he’s seen her without worry. “That’s why I like you.”
“Why?” He laughs.
“We just met, but we don’t play games. We’re honest. Boys in France are taught to flirt, they flirt endlessly, and go in a circle and you get nowhere. But yesterday you said, let’s go talk, and we went outside and we’ve been nothing but honest with each other. I’ve never had this before.”
Francis gazes at her, the white puffs of their breath clouding the air between them.
“Fae, I can’t describe how I feel about tonight. I don’t care if we just met. We understand each other, it’s natural, and it’s like we were meant to find each other.”
Fae looks at him and smiles. They stare at each other wordlessly for a while, there’s something quietly passionate in the way they stand admiring each other.
“Want a smoke, cowboy?” She laughs. Fae reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out a pack of Marlboros. Francis laughs too. She hands him the cigarette and he places it in his mouth, he cups his hands around it and she lights it for him, the pungent smoke filling his lungs. He exhales. She lights her own cigarette. “So, what are we doing tomorrow?”
Francis takes a step forward, “We’ll think of something.” He pulls her close and they kiss.
{I had to cut the final scene because of excessive character count. If there is some interest or demand, and if the mods are gracious enough to allow, I will post it either in the comments or a separate post}
submitted by tacobell_enthusiast_ to shortstories [link] [comments]


2020.01.25 17:43 THEOILLUMINATI Edmonton Oilers History Project: 2015-2016

This is the write up for the 2015-2016 season. The first time we've ever seen generational, super promise, Connor McDavid make his debut in the NHL.
Being NarcoticTurkey, I have been selected to create the post for this specific season so BEAR with me if it's not up to par with the other ones. This is mostly going to be MCDAVID themed as the entire season was centered around and will be remembered as his rookie year.
Let's start off with the off season hype.
This off season was like no others. We have had the first overall pick before but nothing was quite like what was anticipated going into this season with the selection of Connor McDavid. Let's start off with my perspective of the event. Now, I had been an Oilers fan all my life but had never followed it religiously as I have been now because I was younger, had different things to do, and the Oilers just flat out sucked year after year so I sort of just gave up. The first year that I had even started caring about the draft was in 2014 when the extremely hyped Aaron Ekblad was available and that's just the type of player that Edmonton needed at the time (a star defenceman), I was quite disappointed when I was told we had a great chance at winning the lottery but it ended up being some random German guy (Draisaitl) who I had never even heard of. Now onto this big lottery of 2015. I knew Connor McDavid was something special but didn't really care too much because I assumed he was going to be on a different team and this was my graduation year after all so I had much more important things to worry about. Anyways, my and some friends were hanging out, drinking at a buddy's house when we remembered that the NHL lottery is on right away and starting soon so we flick that on and take a seat, team after team get called blah blah blah we don't really care... then it gets down to the final 5 where it ended up going Carolina at 5, Toronto 4, and then Edmonton was next and the card was... DIFFERENT AND GOLD, we were like "What?!?!?!?!", "Did they win?!!", and then Bill Daley says: "we have a winner!" and we started to freak out like how did we win again, another ruined first overall, etc, etc..
But little did I even realize how incredibly good this player truly was.
Here is the Draft Lottery: https://youtu.be/mZqSx21WLkM
Here is the draft selecting McDavid first overall: https://youtu.be/XiRoXzhQz5Q
Now lets get onto the season!
Oilers Opening video for 2015-16 season: https://youtu.be/DAXZ7OuMklM
October
October 13th, 2015, Oilers vs Stars. Connor McDavid scores one of the least typical goals that we are most normally used to seeing with his speed and nice plays. He tips in a shot from the point off Sekera for his first ever goal!
McDavid's first NHL goal: https://youtu.be/W2O-TtG-jpI
The Oilers saw a record of 4-8 in the month of October. Not great for the generational talent's first month in the NHL. Digging themselves a hole right from the get-go.
McDavid's point totals for this month were 5G-7A-12Pts in 12 games played. Not bad for a rookie.
November
McDavid in the month of November posted... well.. 0G-0A-0Pts because he got injured in the first game of November vs the Philadelphia Flyers on November 3rd, 2015.
McDavid slide directly into the boards (with the help of Brandon Manning) shoulder first breaking his collarbone. The injury would keep him out all the way until February 2nd.
If anyone of you would like to relive the injury (Ew), here is the link for that: https://youtu.be/kXGHW9OcNoA
To end the month of November the Oilers held a record of 8-15-2 going 4-7-2 in that stretch.
December
Ah, the dark, McDavid-less month of December. Merry Christmas, fuckers.
The Oilers ended up going 7-6-1 in this month which is actually quite the improvement without their star player! Maybe the injury lit a fire under their butts for the time being.
But, after starting the month on 6 game win streak, they followed it up with a terrible stretch losing the last 7/8 games. Ending December with an abysmal record of 15-21-3.
McDavid decided to slump AGAIN posting up 0G-0A-0 pts in 0 games in the month of December. Tsk..tsk...
January
Another disappointing month for Oilers fans in the cold, miserable month of January not being able to watch the Oilers succeed, especially without the young McDavid.
Oilers went 4-5-2 in this month of January.
At the end of the month, their record was 19-26-5
What is wrong with this McDavid guy? I thought he was supposed to be all that... he posted an abysmal 0G-0A-0 pts again...
February
OH MY, CONNOR MCDAVID! WELCOME BACK! On February 2nd, 2016, The Oilers were at home against the Columbus Blue Jackets for his first game back since the grueling injury. McDavid ended up having a hell of a night (as he usually does), posting 1G and 2A. But that's not all, folks. He ended up scoring the best goal of his career to date, and you all know what I'm talking about. Here it is again because I know you want to watch it again (I sure do): https://youtu.be/-9ru_R7Qjjo
Another interesting thing happened in February 2016. I was lucky enough to go to my first Oilers game that featured Connor McDavid and it happened to be the best game he ever played in his rookie year. The game was February 11th at Rexall place playing against his boyhood team the Toronto Maple Leafs. McDavid was absolutely outstanding this game posting 2G-3A for the first 5 point game of his career feeding Eberle with an assist for his 5th point giving Jordan Eberle the first hat-trick of his career. Highlights for this game here: https://youtu.be/On3uKrSCEXc
The Oilers as a team would go 4-8-2 in the month of February, putting themselves even further out of the playoff hunt now sitting at 23-34-7
McDavid would tally 14GP 5G-12A-17Pts in his first month back from injury**.**
March
On March 1st, 2016, the Oilers played a game in Buffalo. This game held significance because it was the first time that Connor McDavid would face off against his media portrayed "rival", Jack Eichel of the Buffalo Sabres who was drafted 2nd overall behind McDavid. The people of Buffalo go to witness who they were so close to having if they were to win the lottery (finishing last place the season prior). The game was Connor score 2 goals, one being the overtime winner in which Eichel had a great opportunity to score but was then followed up immediately after with Connor torching down the ice and putting the game away just like that. Relive that moment here: https://youtu.be/rYxwzbMKtRY
Oilers would see a record of 7-8 in March which was better than most months but still not close to good enough.
They would then end the month of March with a total record of 30-42-7
McDavid points for the month of March were 15GP 5G-11A-16Pts
April
On April 6th, 2016, the Edmonton Oilers would play their final game at the historic Rexall place against the Vancouver Canucks. They Oilers absolutely demolished them in this game, beating them 6-2. The game was called by the legendary Bob Cole and when Connor McDavid scored his first of 2 goals that night Bob was quoted saying: "Connor McDavid! Remember that name." This is of significance because Bob Cole has been around hockey for an extremely long time, calling games for the very best players to ever play including but not limited to: Gretzky, Lemieux, Ovechkin, Crosby, and finally his last all time great Connor McDavid. Connor would finish that final game with 1G-2A.
They would only play 3 games in April losing their last game in Vancouver in a shootout ending the month with a record of 1-1-1
They would end the season with the pathetic record of 31-43-8
McDavid points in April 3GP 1G-2A-3Pts
End of the season
After finishing the year 31-43-8, the Oilers failed to make the post-season for the TENTH time in a row capping off the decade of darkness with an exciting, yet extremely depressing and traumatizing year. They finished last in the Pacific and 29th overall in the entire league only 1 point ahead of the Toronto Maple Leafs who ended up winning the draft lottery and drafting Auston Matthews. Yes, we were this close AGAIN.
While McDavid's rookie campaign was impressive, finishing with 45GP 16G-32A-48Pts. The whole rookie year will be overshadowed by the fact that he missed almost half the season and missed out on winning the Calder trophy for rookie of the year to Artemi Panarin of the Chicago Blackhawks.
All in all, the 2015-16 season was just another typical disappointment for Oilers fans.
For anyone who wants to relive some of the early days of McMagic, here are his top plays from his rookie year: https://youtu.be/dyBsGYaQGhs
Mod Note
We reached out to narcoticturkey to do McDavid's first year in the NHL as he's kinda our McDavid ambassador both here and in /hockey. Thanks bud for doing this! Unfortunately, the 2016-2017 season will be delayed as well and we hope to have that out as soon as possible. We will keep you updated on this. Don't worry though as we have a fun event planned for you armchair GMs to go along with your shitposting. Finally still looking for some people to do the 2017-2018 and 2018-2019 if anyone is interested in doing those. If no one claims them we will probably still post them so we can have some community discussion about them.
Stats
Players GP Goals Assists Points
Taylor Hall 82 26 39 65
Leon Draisaitl 72 19 32 51
Connor McDavid 45 16 32 48
Jordan Eberle 69 25 22 47
Benoit Pouliot 55 14 22 36
2013 Draft
Player Position Round Overall
Connor McDavid C 1 1
Caleb Jones D 4 (from Montreal) 56
Ethan Bear D 5 124
John Marino D 6 154
Miroslav Svoboda G 7 (from Anaheim) 208
Ziyat Paigin D 7 (from New York) 209
Transaction
Date Team Oilers Acquire Oilers Move
June 26, 2015 New York Islanders Griffin Reinhart 2015 1st round pick (#16 Matthew Barzal), 2015 2nd round draft pick (#33 Mitchell Stephens)
June 27th, 2015 New York Rangers Cameron Talbot, 2015 7th round pick (#209 Ziyat Paigin) 2015 2nd round pick (#57 Jonas Siegenthaler), 3rd round pick (#79 Sergey Zborovskiy), 7th round pick (#184 Adam Huska)
June 27th, 2015 Toronto Maple Leafs Martin Marincin Brad Ross, 2015 4th round pick (#107 Christian Wolanin)
June 27th, 2015 Ottawa Senators Eric Gryba Travis Ewanyk, 2015 4th round pick (#107 Christian Wolanin)
June 27th, 2015 Tampa Bay Lightning 2016 7th round pick (#206 Otto Somppi) 2015 7th round pick (#208 Miroslav Svoboda)
June 30th, 2015 Arizona Coyotes Lauri Korpikoski Boyd Gordon
July 6th, 2015 Chicago Blackhawks Anders Nilsson Liam Coughlin
December 28th, 2015 Montreal Canadiens Zack Kassian Ben Scrivens
February 28th, 2016 Vancouver Canucks 2017 5th round pick (#126 Michael Karow) Philip Larsen
February 27th, 2016 St. Louis Blues Niklas Lundstrom, 2016 5th round pick (#149 Graham McPhee) Anders Nilsson
February 27th 2016 Pittsburgh Penguins Justin Schultz 2016 3rd round pick (#91 Filip Berglund)
February 27th, 2016 Florida Panthers Teddy Purcell 2016 3rd round pick (#84 Matthew Cairns)
February 29th, 2016 Anaheim Ducks Patrick Maroon Martin Gernat, 2016 4th round pick (#93 Jack Kopacka)
Standings (Pacific Division)
Team Wins Losses Overtime Losses Points
Anaheim 46 25 11 103
Los Angeles 48 28 6 102
San Jose 46 30 6 98
Arizona 35 39 8 78
Calgary 35 40 7 77
Vancouver 31 38 13 75
Edmonton 31 43 8 70
Posts
submitted by THEOILLUMINATI to EdmontonOilers [link] [comments]


2020.01.07 22:28 FlourineVflourine Build for aspiring programmer and gamer

Happy Tuesday. I'm looking to buy a mid-range gaming and workstation. So a hybrid. Workgaming. Gamestation. Yeah, gamestation sounds good. Any help provided is greatly appreciated; I posted at buildcomplete before realizing it was dead.
What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
Primarily entertainment. Witcher 3, Planetside 2/Arena, stupidly heavily modded Fallout 4, any new AAA releases (I have not gamed since 2015 when my rig died).
I also have the desire to begin learning data programming, 3D rendering, and in general am looking to have this be a budget workstation and gaming rig. Blender, Maya, Photoshop/GIMP, are all in my mind for these purposes. This is not my occupation, so speed is not a requirement for these programs, but I do want to be able to fluidly experiment.
Streaming is unlikely beyond simple Skype video calls.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
Maximum is $1500, which would require me to wait an additional 2 week pay period. Aiming for the 1000-1300 range.
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
Likely within the 2 week period stated above; the latest is mid February.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Tower (preferably mid or full tower for upgrades/space), OS, Monitor (pref. 144hz, 24 or 27 inch), keyboard, mouse, headphones if anyone has a recommendation.
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
U.S. PA near Pittsburgh. So technically, I do have access to Microcenter. Depends on if the 6 hour drive is worth it.
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
None.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Down the line, only if I am able to tweak the build with sufficient knowledge. I'm still a scrub.
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
500gb-1TB SSD is preferred; hard disks are great but I want to move up in gaming performance.
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
I prefer a mid or full tower for the option of future upgrades. Colors and themes are entirely unneeded. If you come up with a horrible frankenstein that plows like a workhorse, I'll love it.
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Windows 10 Home 64 bit is perfectly fine.
Extra info or particulars:
None, other than to stick my nose directly up this subreddit's butt and say thanks in advance. Been too long since I've been in the hobby of building.
submitted by FlourineVflourine to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.01.03 14:20 UberHansen Game Matchups Preview "Playoff Edition" #1: Bills @ Texans

Before each game I like to do some research on the opposing team and how their roster stacks up against the Bills. For this exercise I look at 5 matchups: Bills Pass Offense vs. Other Pass Defense, Bills Rush Offense vs. Other Rush Defense, Bills Pass Defense vs. Other Pass Offense, Bills Rush Defense vs. Other Rush Offense, Bills Special Teams vs. Other Special Teams. Last, I look into "Why We Will Lose" and "Why We Will Win" and come up with a prediction based on all of it. Below I present the seventeenth iteration of this analysis for the Bills upcoming playoff game at the Texans. Included is a scale to rank the advantage in each matchup from 👏👏👏👏👏 (Massive Advantage) to 👏 (Minimal Advantage).
Bills Passing Offense vs. Texans Passing Defense
3599 Total Yards, 29 Total TDs, and 13 Total TOs are solid numbers for a 2nd Year QB who had to “outsmart basically all regular humans and the entirety of math itself” (Thanks Jason Kirk). While some of this can be attributed to a much improved supporting cast, returning only Josh Allen (QB), Dion Dawkins (LT), & Patrick DiMarco (FB) as starters, it is undeniable that Allen has improved leaps and bounds in year 2. Most evident was Allen’s significant improvement in the “weakest” part of his game, accuracy. While his 6 point jump in cmp% from 52.8% in 2018 to 58.8% in 2019 is impressive even more so is his 8.1 point jump in adjusted cmp% (Ignores Throw Aways, Spikes, & Drops) from 59.3% in 2018 to 67.4% in 2019. Allen has improved in 2019 and with that so too has the offense, now in his first playoff game Allen may need to play his best game to date if the Bills hope to continue marching towards Super Bowl 54.
The last 3 games for the Bills have included matchups against teams finishing 2019 ranked 4th, 3rd, and 1st in DVOA (Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and New England respectively). On Saturday the Bills will have a bit of a reprieve against the 26th ranked Texans pass defense which is struggling with a multitude of injuries in the secondary. In Week 17 the Texans lost starting safety Tashaun Gipson to a back injury and now are not only seeing his backup Jaheel Addae questionable for Saturday but both starting CBs, Jonathan Joseph & Bradley Roby, questionable with hamstring injuries. All of this is moot. JJ Watt is back and expected to play. In no world is he 100% but even 75% of JJ Watt is one of the best, most terrorizing, defensive linemen in the NFL. This week may be easier than the past few but this will be no means a walk-in-the-park.
Saturday has John Brown written all over it. Even if Joseph or Roby play, their injuries should make it more difficult to keep up with Smoke. Couple this with a weakened safety group and both the deep fade (John Brown vs. Dolphins) and post (John Brown vs. Patriots) should be weapons all day. Keep in mind that Gareon Conley could cover Brown but this is still a matchup the Bills should have. Last, I have to mention Duke Williams who I have been anti-activating all season long, and I’m sticking with that. Robert Foster & Andre Roberts are too important on Special Teams, a role Duke cannot fill, to scratch. This leaves Isaiah McKenzie as the only remaining option to scratch in favor of Duke but with JJ Watt and a potent pass rush attacking Allen the Bills need to maintain the threat of a jet sweep, which McKenzie creates, in order to further expand the pocket giving Allen more time to throw. Duke has proven to be a weapon, but this week is just not his time.
EDGE: Bills 👏
Bills Rushing Offense vs. Texans Rushing Defense
I ended the last section with the Duke discussion and will start this section with the TJ Yeldon one. TJ Yeldon should not play Saturday. Singletary is the bell-cow back for the Buffalo Bills and any insinuation that he should be scratched is nonsense, and how do we deal with nonsense? We just don’t stand for it is what we do. Next up is Frank Gore who out of respect alone you cannot healthy scratch but is also still a better runner than Yeldon (Against Jets: Gore – 4.3 Y/C, Yeldon – 2.6 Y/C) while simultaneously being a better compliment to Singletary’s run style. Last is Senorise Perry who has played 67.8% of ST snaps since joining the Bills, and as an RB3 you need ST presence. It’s a numbers game and Yeldon will be, and should be, on the outside looking in.
Houston’s run defense, like their pass defense, is a below average group sitting at 22nd in Run Defense DVOA. Further, since their bye week they are giving up 169 rushing yards per game with the low water mark of that stretch sitting at 90. A lot of this can be attributed to the loss of Watt, which occurred just 1 game prior to the bye week, but is more likely due to opponent’s abilities to maintain long sustained drives against them. On average the Texans’ opponent averages 2:49 per drive (NFL-8) and 36.5 yards (NFL-2). Trends like this wear down a defense and make it difficult for players like Benardick McKinney (ILB), Zach Cunningham (ILB), and Brennan Scarlett (OLB) to maintain a high level of play as the game goes on.
The Bills should be able to find holes for Singletary to run throughout the game. Outside of Watt the only other major fears in this unit are D.J. Reader (DT) and Whitney Mercilus (OLB). Reader is a strong armed force in the middle of the DL who forces double teams. Morse will need to hold his own against Reader but both Spain and Feliciano will need to assist dependent on which gap Reader lines up over. This will leave Mercilus with more room coming off the edge which should help the Texans against the pass but also provide the opportunity for Mercilus to chase a somewhat fumble prone Singletary down from behind. The Bills should win this matchup but if Josh Allen finds ways to use his legs Saturday they have the ability to dominate it.
EDGE: Bills 👏 👏 👏
Bills Passing Defense vs. Texans Passing Offense
If it weren’t for TJ Watt, Tre White would be my choice for DPOY (Not that what I say matters to the NFL). In 15 games White posted a standard stat line of 6 INTs, 17 PDs, 58 Tackles, 4 TFLs, 2 FF, and 1.0 Sacks. White’s advanced stat line is even more impressive with pass stats against of 49.5% Cmp %, 3 Catches per Game, 41.7 Yards per game, 44.5 Passer Rating, and 0 TDs while shading the best receiver on each team. White wasn’t just the best CB in the AFC East, not just the best CB in the AFC, but he was the best CB in the NFL in 2019.
This week the best CB in the NFL goes up against a receiver one could argue is the best in the NFL. Hopkins uses solid size and elite athleticism to get separation from CBs but it’s his hands that set him apart from other WRs. Incredibly Hopkins has nearly the same size hands as Josh Allen (10 1/8) and leverages them to the tune of a drop rate at only 1.9% on a massive 313 targets over the past two seasons. Tre played a solid game against Hopkins in 2018 but will need to maintain the same level of play, if not better, for the Bills to take control of this game. Outside of Hopkins the Texans 2nd receiving option is Will Fuller and while the Texans keep implying he will play Sunday it seems like the best case scenario is he plays the role of decoy. This leaves Kenny Stills and Keke Coutee as the only remaining proven options at receiver. For the Bills it will be Levi Wallace or Kevin Johnson, dependent on Wallace injury, either of which should be sufficient Saturday.
Outside of the secondary doing their job the 2nd most important part of this matchup will be for the Bills to attempt to contain Deshaun Watson from escaping the pocket. Watson has about 2.5 seconds (NFL-14) from snap to pocket collapse to throw the ball which has resulted in him being sacked 44 times and hit another 39 times in 2019. Most of the pressure has come off the right side of the line where Chris Clark (RT) and Zach Fulton (RG) have somewhat struggled but it is worth noting that while LT Laremy Tunsil has played well this season he does lead the NFL in penalties at 18. The Bills DL has the matchups to play well on Saturday and if they do can take over this game.
EDGE: Bills 👏 👏
Bills Rushing Defense vs. Texans Rushing Offense
The Bills’ run defense had a 5 game stretch where they were giving up, on average, 140.6 rushing yards per game. Since that game the Bills have given up 87 rushing yards per game inclusive of a game where their backups held the Jets starters to 86 yards. Most of the improvements should be credited to the DTs who have seen consistent play from Jordan Phillips, improved play from Star Lotulelei & Ed Oliver, and surprisingly good play from recently signed Corey Liuget. When you couple this with the game-by-game improvements of the 21 year old Tremaine Edmunds you have a recipe for the Bills already elite defense to be one of the best units in the NFL.
The Texans have a two-headed attack at RB in the scat back of Duke Johnson (Also a threat in the pass game) and bruiser of Carlos Hyde. Johnson only has 83 carries on the season but is averaging 4.9 Y/A which would be good for 9th in the NFL, if he was qualified. Carlos Hyde is one of the 16 players to rush for more than 1k yards this season (And will be the 9th the Bills will have faced) while averaging 4.4 Y/A. Still, the star of this group is Watson who is one of the most dynamic players in the NFL. He has had a down year rushing but still put up 413 yards and 7TDs. The fear with Watson is at any time he has the ability to not only extend plays with his legs but to also extend drives via chunk plays on the ground.
Ed Oliver is the key to this matchup. He is getting better and better every week and has the speed and quickness to make plays up the middle that can consistently disrupt the RBs and the Watson. If Oliver can consistently either push back Nick Martin (C) or find his way into the backfield the Bills will have the ability to also control this matchup. If the Texans do find their way to the secondary reliance on Hyde and Poyer will be high to assure that big plays on the ground do not consistently happen. This matchup is closer than I initially thought but because of Watson it falls in the Texans favor.
EDGE: Texans 👏 👏
Bills Special Teams vs. Texans Special Teams
Stephen Hauschka has hit 26 of his past 28 kicks (92.9%) and is rounding back into form for the post season. There is still a bit of “Hold Your Breath” when he kicks but every week it becomes less and less necessary. Corey Bojorquez continued his inconsistent play last week only having 1 kick over 40 yards with 2 I20 punts. Bojo occasionally has a game changing kick but cannot be relied on to change the field consistently throughout an entire game. Last, hopefully Andre Roberts is healthy come Sunday because his 26.8 Y/KR (NFL-4) and 8.0 Y/PR (NFL-12) have the ability to change the game.
On the season opposing kickers are 21/25 (84%) on XPs and 16/26 (61.5%) on FGs. This is simply astounding and an incredible statistical anomaly. The Bills should not rely on this trend continuing but Ka'imi Fairbairn is sporting an 88.9% XP and 80% FG line which are both closer to the bottom in the NFL than the top. At punter the Texans have one of the best in the NFL for 2019 in Bryan Anger who has a net average of 44.5 (NFL-1) per punt while dropping 53% of his kicks inside the 20 and only giving up returns on 38% of his punts for 3.1 Y/R. Last is the Texans return man DeAndre Carter who is averaging 22.0 Y/KR (NFL-13) and 9.7 Y/PR (NFL-5) and is about as dangerous as Andre Roberts. Carter is an underappreciated player on this Texans team that has the ability to make a play whenever the ball is in his hands
EDGE: Texans 👏
Why We Will Lose
Deshaun Watson is a monster who when unleashed can beat any defense in the NFL and has shown the ability to consistently win in the NFL, posting a career 24-14 record. Paired with Watson is a receiver I personally could see going down as the 2nd best of all time (No one will ever be better than the GOAT Rice). If there is one player that can push the current version of Tre White to the edge its Hopkins who will likely be targeted 12-15 times on Saturday. Add these two with a stable of solid running backs and a receiving corps with solid depth, inclusive of a solid TE in Darren Fells (7TD), and you have a recipe for a big challenge for the Buffalo Bills.
On defense it’s all about JJ Watt. If Watt really is back then this defense is a whole different level of good compared to the games he didn’t play. Remember the game he single handedly won against the Bills (See EJ Manuel)? He has the ability to do that to any team including the Bills. If it is not him the Texans will throw complex blitzes at Josh Allen who, if rattled, could revert to hero Josh in the biggest game of his Pro-Career. And we are talking the bad Hero-Josh, not 4th Quarter-Josh. Last, watch out for safety Justin Reid who has been sneaky good in 2019 and will take advantage of an Allen overthrow if it presents itself.
Why We Will Win
Josh Allen is a unique weapon that can beat the Texans on the ground and in the air. When playing elite defenses this season Allen has struggled, but the Texans simply are not elite. If John Brown can’t get open then Cole Beasley will. If Cole Beasley can’t get open then Dawson Knox will. If Dawson Knox can’t get open, who knows, maybe Dion Dawkins will. In all reality Josh will likely use his legs more this week than he has all season and that coupled with the emerging Devin Singletary poses a one-two punch that can consistently move the ball against a banged up defense.
On defense the biggest weapon is Hopkins who will be shaded by the Bills biggest weapon, Tre White. With the Palms defense active White can afford to let Hopkins beat him only to have Micah Hyde waiting over the top. If Watson falls for the trap once or twice, this game could flip quickly and turn in the Bills favor. On the DL Ed Oliver should do work and with Jordan Phillips next to him should not only pressure Watson but consistently stuff the run. Last, watch for Jerry Hughes to get pressure throughout the game and force the refs to continue the trend of calling penalties on Tunsil (LT).
Prediction: Bills 21 – Texans 18
Coming into this post I was hovering between who to pick to win the game and leaning the way of the Texans by one point because of home field advantage. After looking everything over I just don’t see that good of a team in Houston. The Bills have the better roster and the better coach and not only can win this game but in my opinion should win this game and end a playoff win drought present since 1995. Two things stand in their way. 1 – If JJ Watt is healthy he can take over the game and force Josh Allen to make mistakes. 2 – Deshaun Watson can single handedly beat the Bills and whether it is on the ground or in the air is moot. He is that good and if he shows up on Saturday could make for a long night and a rough start to the New Year for Bills fans.
submitted by UberHansen to buffalobills [link] [comments]


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